As mentioned, last night I dreamt of San Pedro ran a one-shot of Garbage & Glory. Here we go!
A Mask of raccoons stands before an immense stone staircase, leading up and into the mysterious Munci Wastedisp. Raccoon rumor says that immense mounds of Garbage lie within, promising Glory everlasting to the Mask that discovers its secrets...but no Mask has entered and returned. But this Mask feels lucky!
The raccoons are:
Zabrina Pistachio, also called Sparklefingers, a Mess Magus. Zabrina is versed in Trash Magic, and has a rubbish (a little animated being made of Garbage) made from a frisbee and a pizza cutter. She's named it Rhumba.
Hobin Marrow, the Trash Trader, a Pile Champion. A priest and warrior of the Infinite Pile, Hobin can hear the voice of the Pile, leading him on to Garbage.
Junkstin Binber, known as Yesterday's Sensation, a Junk Composer. Junkstin carries with him J.B.'s Kozoo-Pipes of Honkitude, a strange and unique musical instrument that can also fire dried peas as deadly (or at least painful) projectiles.
Mooney Crescentroll, the Doughboy, a Sticky Fingers, who wears the emblem of her namesake on her chest.
The four of them stand before the staircase, and Zabrina stares at the strange markings above the door. "MUNCI WASTE DISP FL OD GAT 3." The Mask puzzles over this.
"Well, we're in the right place," muses Mooney.
"What's a 'flod gat', though?" wonders Zabrina.
"Whatever they are, there's three of them. We'll have to be careful."
With that, the raccoons tackle their first challenge: the stairs. Mooney pulls out some rusty nails and uses them as pitons to climb up, and then carves her name into the top step (a crescent moon, and then a crescent roll). Junkstin dares Hobin to carry him, and Hobin tries, but they both tumble back down. Zabrina sighs and looks to the right, and sees that next to the stairs there's just...land. She just walks right up.
Eventually Junkstin and Hobin get to the top, and the Mask enters the Munci Wastedisp. Inside, it's strange and alien. Everything is flat surfaces and sharp angles - obviously the place is made by Ogres. Indeed, Zabrina thinks she can hear Ogre-speak echoing through the halls, but can't get a fix on it.
They come to a crossroads, and Hobin confidently takes them left. They wind up in a room pile high with bags of trash, but very little Garbage (there's a difference). They root around a bit and find a couple of pieces, but this is a dead end - not the treasure they were promised. Hobin leads them directly across the hall, to a room with a flickering light. There's something beyond it, but they aren't sure what...
Mooney tries to sneak in, but the light is too much and she gets spotted. She hears a voice at the other end of the room. "This is our turf, mask-face." A Rat steps forward.
Mooney pulls herself up to her full height; she doesn't want a fight, but she's much bigger than a rat. But the rat sneers, snaps its fingers, and three more rats appear.
The other raccoons step into the room, which should have made the rats back down, but rats are not especially bright. They charge Mooney, stabbing at her with their various pointy implements, and the fight is on!
Zabrina calls upon her Shriek spell to break their minds. Junkstin stands back and plays on the kazoo-pipes, firing peas at them, and at one point manages to hit Mooney in the tuckus ("OW!" "SORRY!"). Hobin leaps into the fray with his staff, but the rats turn on him and stomp on his foot, and he backs up and resorts to magic (specifically his Gibber spell that imparts the terrible and stinky wisdom of the Pile).
The battle is long and hard (lol), but eventually the raccoons beat three of the rats back. The last one, realizing he's alone, points at them and says "Yeah! You just remember that!" and flees.
The Mask is victorious, but injured. They rest a bit, and search the room. Junkstin finds a can of badly spoiled pineapple, and uses it to upgrade his Pipes of Honkitude to the Pipes of Toxitude! Hobin rolls about and practices his Wriggling, and in the process earns the name Catastrophic Climber.
All of that done, the Mask moves on. Only one way left to go! That hall leads to a staircase leading down into dark and echoing rooms, and the guttural voices of the Ogres in the near distance...
The Mask moves into the next room, but the Ogres find them and start stomping around at them! They are chased away, separated, in this maze of identical rooms. They discover, too, that if they move too loudly, the Ogres will hear and move towards them...but only Mooney is capable of moving with any real stealth.
They can use the Ogres' stupidity to their advantage, however! By alternating their movements, they can each get to the corner room where Mooney is waiting without the Ogres finding them. Back together, they descend once again, into the deepest level of the Munci Wastedisp.
As they go, the wonder if those Ogres were the mysterious "flod gats". If so, there's still one more to contend with. The raccoons steel themselves and enter the final room...and indeed, there is the biggest Ogre they've yet seen! It is clad in green armor and, horribly, has a pincer on its waist, the perfect size for capturing a raccoon! The room is strewn with cages that carry the scent of raccoon - but no raccoons are in evidence.
But beyond this horror, there is treasure. Four huge bins of Garbage, the fabled treasure of the Munci Wastedisp. And this Ogre, this blasphemous monster, is shoveling it into a fire!
The Mask knows it can't fight an Ogre, but they also know they have to acquire at least a piece of Garbage each in order to prove to their people that they have gone this deep into the Munci Wastedisp. They realize that they'll have to avoid the Ogre, and so Mooney sneaks into the room and wriggles her way into a bin. Zabrina takes a moment to add blinking Christmas lights to Rhumba and sends it in as a distraction, and then sneaks over and finds an opening into one of the bins, but is too plump to pull herself up into it.
Junkstin scampers in and climbs into a bin, grabbing a piece of Garbage, but he knows he's better as a distraction. He jumps out and starts playing his axe-jo ("Anyway, here's 'Wonderwall'"), and the Ogre stops and stares. Hobin rushes in, taking advantage of his mastery of the Dimdank tunnels, and grabs garbage.
The Ogre grabs Junkstin and tosses him into a cage, but by this time, between Hobin and Mooney, they have found enough Garbage to cement their legends! They quickly free their comrade and slap together enough Garbage to aid their escape, sending Rhumba to stab at the Ogre with its pizza cutter (it doesn't really do damage, but it's a very weird distraction).
The Mask rushes up a back staircase and out into the outside world, flush with Glory, carrying Garbage, and with an amazing story to tell the kits!
