Friday, June 30, 2023

Movie #734: Species

Species is a sci-fi/horror movie starring Natasha Henstridge, Forest Whitaker, Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen, Marg Helgenberger, Alfred Molina, and Michelle Williams. 

Earth receives a message from outer space in response to the Aricebo Message that gives them a DNA sequence and instructions on how to combine it with human DNA, so of course the scientists do that and it turns out to be a rapidly-growing human-looking being called Sil (Williams as a child, Henstridge as an adult). The dude-in-charge, Xavier Fitch (Kingsley) tries to kill her after...she has nightmares? Anyway, she escapes, and they assemble a team of SAVE envoys experts to hunt her down and kill her.

We've got assassin Preston Lennox (Madsen), biologist Laura Baker (Helgenberger), anthropologist Stephen Arden (Molina), and OP empath Dan Smithson (Whitaker). They take the news that aliens exist fairly well, and then jump right into tracking the inhuman monster that is Sil.

Sil, meanwhile, is navigating human society (it helps that she's a fucking knockout) and is just trying to mate. This turns out to be harder than you'd think; the first guy she chooses (Anthony Guidera) is diabetic and therefore not a viable mate, and the second one (Whip Hubley) is the only straight guy in LA who has naked Natasha Henstridge in his hot tub and feels that immediately boning her is "too fast" for him. In any case, she does eventually manage to fulfill her needs (with poor unfortunate Arden), escapes into the sewer as a CGI Giger abomination, gives birth, and gets her head blown off. THE END! OR IS IT...

(It's not, there were three sequels, none of which actually followed up on the ending of the movie, but whatever.)

So, I really like this movie. I recognize that it is not good, but I submit there are things to recommend it. To wit: the cast. There is a ton of talent here, and it's always fun to watch schlocky horror movies with talented casts because they make their interactions interesting. In particular, I love Whitaker's physicality and expressions as he plays a character who's clearly picking up on thoughts and feelings of everyone around him. I love how the attraction between Pres and Laura grows throughout the movie, and how joyfully enthusiastic they are when they finally fuck (especially compared to the desperate and kind of clumsy seduction Sil employs). Natasha Henstridge hasn't exactly gone on to a storied acting career, but she manages to bring across Sil's confusion and instinct-driven actions pretty well.

There are some script missteps, of course. I feel like Laura, Pres, and Dan all have things within their wheelhouse that directly contribute to the investigation, while Arden's area of expertise ("cross-cultural behavior") should have been useful, but the writers didn't know how to bring that across. I also feel like Sil's elaborate ruse to fake her own death was a bit much, though I appreciate that much of the idea was seeded in TV clips that she watches. 

And, of course, we have the age-old issue that the practical effects look cool and gross and scary, while the CGI effects haven't aged well and look fake. But it's hard to have gross skin-worms grow all over a wall without using CGI, I get that.

Overall, let's be honest, I like this movie because it's basically sci-fi Chill, and I like the trope of a team of experts assembled to solve a problem. And, again, the cast is fantastic.

My Grade: Oh, let's be generous and say B
Rewatch value: High

Next up: Spellbound

Thursday, June 29, 2023

Character Creation: R'lyehwatch

Summertime for a summer game.

The Game: R'lyehwatch
The Publisher: Third Chair Games/Hedgemaze Press, I guess?
Degree of Familiarity: None, but it ain't very complex
Books Required: Just the one

It's a concept so obvious I can't believe it's never come up: a mashup of Baywatch and Lovecraft. You play lifeguards in the town of Sunset Hills, there are cults to the various elder gods (the followers of the Black Goat of the Woods get distracted by kittens), and you're just trying not to let people drown and/or get eaten by things.

What's interesting is that the book (zine, really) plays all of this completely straight, which I think would be the best way to handle the game. Not try to make it not funny or silly (because it's both), but just playing the situation for what it is. 

Anyway, I suspect making a character will take all of about five minutes, so here we go! 

Step One: Pick Brawny, Agile, or Crafty as my primary stat. Umm...I'll take Crafty.

Step Two: Pick a Role (I could also make one up). I'll be the Gizmo, pretty obviously modeled on MacGuyver. 

Step Three: Pick or make up a Perk. Ooh, since Gizmos can have machiney kinds of things, I'll take a speedboat as my Perk! It's called StripƩd Bass (the emphasis on "ed" is important). I think my guy likes to make little improvements and gadgetry to the boat, probably one per episode.

Step Four: Pick or make up a Quirk. Rather than pick something normally associated with brainy characters (Allergic, Cautious, etc.) I'll pick Loud. My guy just doesn't have much CONTROL OVER THE VOLUME OF his voice.

Step Five: Tokens. I get three grit and three luck.

Step Six: Name. I haven't used the random rolls for this guy yet, so I'll randomize his name. "Joel Duncan," I can dig it. 

Joel is dorky looking, but in a Baywatch sort of way, which means he's nerdy-hot rather than beach-hot. He's got numbers and equations tattooed on his chest and arms, and he's always tinkering with the Bass when he's not trying to haul unfortunate swimmers away from sharks n' Shoggoths. Joel has black hair in some kind of alternative cut, and you can usually find him in swim trunks and an open button down shirt or a t-shirt with something sciencey on it. 

And that's it! Like I said, about 5 minutes. Not that you can tell that from reading this, obviously.

Wednesday, June 28, 2023

Wicked Ones: March on Charter Hollow

Pillaging! Rar! Last time.

The Wicked Ones move first on Ikae's Refuge, sneaking into the town and drugging their ale. As the night wears on, the defenders drink and get sleepy, and when anyone strong enough to fight back is asleep, the monsters roll in and capture the townsfolk, eat a few, and conscript the rest into a makeshift army to march on Charter Hollow. Baldruf also finds a big wardrobe full of fancy clothes and gets Fnort to schlep it back to a cart (they got a critical success on engagement for this part, so I didn't really see the point in drawing it out. Sometimes shit just works).

And then the attack on Charter Hollow! Yog-en-Yeg drives the cowering townsfolk to the gates of the city, and the guardsmen on the wall are reluctant to fire on them, but things are pretty much at a standstill at first. Thudd notes that they crossed a bridge to get to the gate, but the bridge is shoddily built, and could pretty easily collapse if given the right nudge.

Baldruf spies what he thinks is a blind spot in the wall's defenses, but when he gets there he realizes he mistook a corner for a weak point and barely manages to avoid notice. Fnort tosses his grappling hook up on the wall and tries to climb over, but the guards notice and cut the rope. Thudd notes that there's a patch of loose ground near where Fnort is standing and calls out to him.

Yog-en-Yeg pushes past the sniveling conscripts and smashes in the doors to the city, bellowing and drawing notice from the city's elite guards - a dwarf in leathers, a half-elf in robes of Ubu, God of Obedience, and an elf in resplendent silvery armor. Fnort burrows under the wall with his minions and bursts into the town, ready to fight! Yog-en-Yeg charges in, but the elf looses and arrow at him. 

Fnort charges across the battlefield and his minions toss him into the path of the arrow, which he catches in his teeth. He lands, unscathed. Yog-en-Yeg hurls a section of the gate at the elf, but it just breaks on the warlord's magic armor. Meanwhile, Baldruf gives his skeleton minion a rope and hucks him onto the wall. The minion lodges the rope between the wall's logs and turns to fight the guardsmen, while Baldruf goes up and over.

Thudd, never one to enter battle if he doesn't have to, sends his ghoul creep into the fray with a bottle of Outburst Draught. The ghoul draws back to throw it, but the priest of Ubu see him and incants something. The ghoul panics and runs for the hills, never to be seen again.

Fnort and his minions attack the priest, and Fnort smacks her in the head with his flail, but only manages to the dent the helmet. She blows a whistle, and nothing much seems to happen at first. But then outside the gates, armored knights start charging toward the battle! 

But to get there, they have to go over the bridge. Thudd dives into the river and fiddles with the bridge, and it collapses under the horses' weight. Thudd pulls himself up out of the rink and starts heading toward the hole that Fnort made.

Baldruf's skeleton climbs down from the wall and charges the dwarf, but the dwarf seems him coming and tosses a leather bag at him. There's a muffled boom and a shower of bones falls to the ground. Yog-en-Yeg's skeleton priest minion casts a spell to sow fear in the people of Charter Hollow. But the priest of Ubu slams her staff on the ground and cancels the spell, granting calm and serenity to the townsfolk...

...but then she finds a knife in her neck, courtesy of Baldruf, who has snuck up behind her. 

The priest isn't done, though. She reaches out and plants a palm on Baldruf's head, and burns out the evil. His green-tinged skin goes porcelain, his ears get pointy, his jaw shrinks - he resembles a filthy elf. Yog-en-Yeg gapes and vomits, and Thudd, just arriving on the scene, sees what he thinks is an elf. He hurls a bottle of Outburst Draught at it, and Baldruf-elf follows his impulse - to take down the evil ettin that's causing all this havoc!

He charges at Yog-en-Yeg and tries to trip him, but Yog-en-Yeg kicks him against a wall. Fnort charges at the elf warlord and strikes a mighty blow with his flail, but for all the power he puts behind it he only manages to knock the elf down. The armor's magic is just too strong. 

Fnort yells to Thudd to use his magnet, and Thudd pulls the helmet right off the elf! Seeing his opportunity, Yog-en-Yeg grabs the elf and starts smashing it on the ground, but the elf draws twin swords. Yog-en-Yeg tosses the elf up in the air and it lands gracefully. The ettin presses the attack and rips the elf's armor off. "NOW YOU DIE LIKE YOU S'POSED TO!"

Baldruf, still reeling from the mind-virus that is "Light", charges the skeleton priest and stabs it in the eye socket. More annoyed than anything, the priest plants a bony hand on Baldruf's head and reverses the dead priest's spell, bringing back the true Baldruf! Overcome with vengeful rage, Baldruf stomps back to the priest's body and hacks off her arm as a trophy.

The dwarf, horrified by all this, leaps into the air and throws bombs down at the monsters. It lands and Fnort strikes with his flail, and an errant bomb blasts pitches the dwarf forward. 

The monsters aren't through with this fight yet - the dwarf bomber and the elf warlord still have plenty of tricks up their sleeves! The conscript army starts to break and run, and the Wicked Ones still need to raid this town's storehouses and get back to the Sepulcher of Suffering! Next time, the exciting conclusion of...the March on Charter Hollow!

Character Creation: Pilgrimage of the Sun Guard

This game almost tricked me into playing! Very clever.

The Game: Pilgrimage of the Sun Guard
The Publisher: Amanda P.
Degree of Familiarity: None, other than playing Choose Your Adventure back in the day
Books Required: Just the one, plus some dice

Pilgrimage of the Sun Guard is one of those solo/journaling games, much like Secrets of the Vibrant Isle. You make a character but then go through the rest of the book and follow prompts to "play" the "game". I'm using scare quotes, but I'm in no position to say what is and what is not a game, and all jokes aside, I have to say that games like this do pull me in easily. Maybe when I finish this project (lol) I'll go back and do a few of these.

SO ANYWAY the vibe here is a kind of Arthurian quest, wherein you're playing a character who lives by a Code but following a quest, and pursuing that quest involves using resources. Breaking the Code can apparently give you more Resources, so there's a trade-off there. Actually, thinking about it, I'm reminded of the Green Knight movie with Dev Patel (and its associated RPG). 

Well! Let's make a pilgrim. First we choose a Background. I'm kinda feeling the Veteran today. That sets my Code as "to protect the innocent as one's own person." I get to pick two traits of the list, I shall take weary and approachable. 

Actually, thinking about it, I'm reminded of this song:

It's sad and bittersweet, and is really a message to a loved one at the end of life, but I think it's pretty good inspiration (also, like, if I can put bluegrass into a classical mythology it's been a good day). 

Anywho, my Cherished Item is a fallen comrade's weapon, so I'll say a carry the haft of a mace that once belonged to a brother-in-arms. 

And now I roll 2d6 for my total Resources...ugh, 4. I am weary. These have to be divided amongst Might, Guile, and Honor. I'll put 2 into Honor and 1 into the other two, I guess. I get 6 units of Time, and then I have a few tables to use to finish things off.

Why did your character join the Sun Guard? I'll roll for it..."escape." Ooh, that's interesting.

What do they look like? "Fine as china, strong as iron." So not a disheveled or ragged old soldier, but distinguished are clean. I dig it. 

What is their greatest gift? "Brawny of bone and arms." Well, that tracks.

What do they wish for under the starts? One of the options is "to rest" and I'm gonna go ahead and pick that.

Let's say Balan (for tis his name) was a minor noble, trapped in a betrothal to a woman he absolutely did not love or want. One day a Sun Guard patrol came round, and as was the law, he put them up for the night. One of the guardsman, Griflet, struck up a friendship with Balan, and correctly read that Balan wasn't happy where he was. He told him that under the law of the land, anyone who joins the Sun Guard must be released from any obligations, but takes on the mantle of the Guard forever, no backsies. 

Balan joined up, lost his fianceĆ© and his title, but gained companionship and a greater purpose. And now, decades later, all his friends are gone, Griflet killed in battle, Balan has one more quest before he can finally lay down his own burden. 

(But, he wonders, how does that work? Does he just...die? There's no retiring, so does he adventure until something kills him? What is "rest," at the end of it all?)

Balan has gray hair, a neatly trimmed beard, and he polishes his armor every day. His training as a noble dies hard, it seems. He's older now but he's much stronger than most people think, and he makes up for the loss of speed that comes with age by having patience and a sturdy shield. 

He's known as "Balan the Courteous." I'm actually going to do the first prompt because it involves choosing something to fill in a blank on the sheet - before going on the journey Balan gets anointed by the Swordsaint and sees signs. Specifically (roll 1d8 twice): "strengthening and girding" and "grinding of machines."

And that's about it! 

Tuesday, June 27, 2023

Atlantis: Unite the Tribes!

Last night was Atlantis, here we go!

Our heroes' next project is to bring together some of the most populous of the tribes of Zin, in order to negotiate a bit of land for the Mercenary Queen in the southern part of the Zin wilderness. They therefore set out from Khem and send emissaries to the tribes of Elishah, Shagar, Tubal, Danan, and Javan. 

They get back kind of a mixed bunch of responses. Elishah is happy to attend a gathering and responds enthusiastically. Shagar is more guarded, but willing to attend. The Danan are busy making war on the nation of Yalak in the northern part of Zin and aren't interested in leaving. Tubal fires arrows at the approaching emissaries and drives them off; they'll probably need a more direct approach. But by far the worst is what's left of the emissary to the tribe of Javan.

One member of the emissary delegation survives, and he returns, horribly traumatized, with a bag containing the heads of the rest of the delegation. In the mouth of one of the heads is a note: "Send more." He explains that they never reached the Javan. They were ambushed by the outcast tribe of Magog, set up, slaughtered, and he was forced to sit in a tent and listen to the rest of them being butchered and eaten. He begs Eithne to conjure something to make the memories of this fade. She can't (rather, she could, but the magic wouldn't last long), but makes an alchemical potion to help him sleep without nightmares. 

The heroes confer. Obviously they're not going to let this stand, but they need to approach the Tubal as well. They decide to split up - Eithne and Imani will go to find the Javan (since doing so is likely to involve a fight with the Magog), while Thanos and Akala will bring the invitation to the Tubal personally. Eithne and Imani travel alone, while Thanos and Akala bring a contingent of soldiers from Queen Nyavinghi's army and a gift of metal weapons for the Tubal tribe.

The two groups travel north together for a ways, and then split. Imani and Eithne head east through the foothills, and in the distance see a copse of trees - unusual in this part of Zin. When they get closer, they realize that those aren't trees, they're wooden spikes, on which are impaled human beings. There are prayers to some nameless god written on the base. Imani can't quite translate it, but the gist is clear - these are sacrifices. 

Imani checks the area and determines that the Magog have a good four days head start and they seem to be heading in the opposite direction, so the two of them press on. They make camp and Imani spots people in the shadows, watching them. She has Eithne conjure up a ward and make it obvious, and then steps forward and bellows a challenge to whoever's waiting in the dark - step out and be recognized by the Queen of Gorgos!

Two teenagers step forward, terrified and tired. One of them, in broken Khem, says that his family is trapped in the caves up the mountain. He gestures to indicate that the Magog have set up camp nearby, and are using the caves as a larder.

Imani and Eithne head up the mountain path and see Magog encampments, and smell cooking meat (don't think about it too hard). Imani has Eithne cast a ward on her, making her impervious (or nearly so) to wooden weapons, since the Magog generally don't use metal. She then has Eithne conjure something big and impressive.

Eithne, rising to that challenge, creates a big rolling ball of fire and sends it crashing down the mountain at the Magog. It's not moving fast enough that they can't get out of the way, but it does what it's intended to do - distract them. Imani identifies the leader (it's easy, he's the one with the most impressive hat) and charges from the dark, impaling him on her horns and throwing him down the mountain. 

The battle is swift - the Magog's weapons bounce right off Imani's warded hide, and Eithne throws lightning into their midst and scatters them. The Magog flee, and the Javan emerge from the cave, very much willing to join the heroes' convocation.

Meanwhile, Thanos and Akala travel west and come up over a rise to a battle! The Tubal are attacking the Togarmoh, a smaller tribe, probably intent on taking their livestock. The heroes debate just letting this play out, but then they realize that the Tubal might sell some of the Togarmoh as slaves and Thanos just isn't letting that happen. He conjures up the illusion of an immense firebird in the sky and sends it screaming over the battle, and then Akala lands and demands a stop to hostilities.

Some tense negotiations follow, but fortunately the heroes were planning on delivery a gift of metal weapons anyway so they have some bargaining power. The Togarmoh agree to come with the heroes and guide them back to southern Zin unharmed, while the Tubal agree to take part in the convocation in exchange for some livestock and the weapons. Everyone returns to Nyavinghi's camp, where the Elishash and the Shagar are already present.

Over the next couple of weeks, the tribes in attendance take part in games and revelry while the leaders of the five tribes (Elishah, Shagar, Tubal, Togarmoah, and Javan) confer with Queen Nyavinghi and the heroes over points. The tribes are generally willing to allow the Queen to take some land here, but they all have their own little demands. They also ask if the Magog could be destroyed as part of this arrangement, and the heroes consider that wiping out a tribe of demon-worshipping cannibals is pretty on brand for them. 

The elders of Elishah tell them that in the past when the Magog have come up against determined and stronger foes, they've fallen back to the Burning Pit. This Pit, a literal hell-hole in central Zin, belches up poisonous smoke, and people who enter emerge...changed. Apparently Magog tribesman even gouge out their eyes before entering the Pit, as a symbol to their devotion to their dark god, and come out again as monsters. Unraveling the mystery of the Pit (and/or shutting it down) would certainly cement the heroes' status with the Tribes of Zin.

Akala confers with her companions, and then retires to her tent and prays to Orunmila for answers about the Pit. She learns that the Pit contains "the Breath of Hell," and that anyone who enters will change. Some change into monsters, some merge into flesh abominations, some simply melt away entirely. No Jinn has ever entered, however; Orunmila says that so much chaos together might "have an effect upon the world." Getting the bottom would be a matter of resisting the changes, or just accepting them and becoming whatever the Pit turns you into. Destroying the Magog would require killing them all (and are the heroes really willing to put 300 men, women, and children to the sword, even if they are demon-worshiping cannibals?), but destroying or closing the Pit would break their power.

Akala shares all of this information with the others, and they decide to ride out to the Pit and see if they can solve its mystery. But Thanos leaves Thanatos behind and rides out early, in secret, pursuing some destiny known only to himself...

Monday, June 26, 2023

Movie #733: Spartacus

Spartacus is an epic drama directed by Stanley Kubrick and starring Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis, Peter Ustinov, John Gavin, Laurence Olivier, Jean Simmons, and Charles Laughton.

It's 1 BC, a few decades before God fixes everything by having his son nailed to a cross (citation needed), and the Roman Empire is kicking ass! Kind of. They're doing everything via slave labor, and discovering that while, yes, that's economically beneficial, it also means you've got a huge underclass of people who literally have nothing to lose. To wit: one Spartacus (Douglas), born a slave, is trained as a gladiator because he's too bitey to be a worker.

Following one too many insults from his trainer Marcellus (Charles McGraw), Spartacus leads a slave revolt. He and his fellow gladiators romp through Italy killin' Romans and freein' slaves, and try to get to the coast where they intend to pay off a pirate fleet to take them away. 

Trouble is, Rome is going through internal struggles, too: a wealthy senator Crassus (Olivier) is working to make Rome great again, while his populist enemy Gracchus (Laughton) favors just letting the slave army escape - much cheaper. Crassus pays off the pirate fleet to leave the slave army stranded between two approaching forces, pushing them to march on Rome, and of course they wind up slaughtered. And then we get the famous scene where the Romans demand to know who Spartacus is so they can make an example, and everyone there yells "I'm Spartacus!" 

Spartacus, of course, winds up crucified on the Appian Way, but his wife Varinia (Simmons) and their infant son escape with the help of the slave trader (Ustinov) who initially brought Spartacus to gladiator camp, and Crassus enjoys his moment in the sun but recognizes that this new boy Julius Caesar (Gavin) is going to take his job someday.

So, that's a very brief summary of a very long film, and it misses a lot of important beats. Tony Curtis' character Antoninus is an important part of Spartacus' development, as he comes to regard the young man as a son and then is forced to kill him to prevent him from being crucified. Crassus, likewise, receives just as much attention in the narrative as our title character, and Olivier portrays him as someone utterly convinced of his own righteousness. The whole thing is crafted with Kubrick's trademark meticulousness and attention to camera work, and there are some not-so-subtle parallels in the plot with the Hollywood blacklist (it was written by Dalton Trumbo, and the support of Douglas and of JFK, who crossed a picket line to see it, help to end the blacklist). 

If I have criticisms, it's that Spartacus himself is a little flat as a character. He really kind of comes alive when he laments to Virinia that he's not educated enough to be a general, and when he's forced to fight Antoninus to the death, but the characters who are really fun to watch are Crassus, Gracchus, and Ustinov's Batiatus. Comparing it to more modern epics like Gladiator and Braveheart, we can see how scripting and acting theory have changed over the years, as those movies make a real meal of their heroes' tragedies and motivations. Likewise, the studio meddling becomes obvious in places. One of the battle scenes has limbs getting hacked off, but it's out of keeping with the gore that we've seen up to that point and feels a little jarring, and you just know Kubrick would've gone whole hog if he could.

All in all it's well worth watching and it's a significant movie, but it does feel a little dated, which I guess appropriate for a 63-year-old movie. 

My Grade: B+
Rewatch Value: Low

Next up: Species

Sunday, June 25, 2023

Cairn: The Investigation Continues

Today was Cairn! On we go. Here's last time.

Night falls, and the Knights continue their inquiries into who killed Ladd Ringtail. Snootabur Shadowbough starts retracing Ladd's steps, starting with the Brookflower Inn (since they know he got dinner there). Russelet Leatherwind joins her, but is still grieving his friend and hangs back. Ratatosk Longberry heads for the Root, intending to ask Ripark, the proprietor, about the strange metal discs that seem to figure into this case. Rumdiggle Sunsong, knowing how rumors can spread and worsen, spends some time in the evening going around the town and playing songs for people to help keep them calm. 

Snoot talks to some of the folks around the Brookflower and learns that Ladd went to the Root. Knowing that Ratatosk is going to talk to the patrons therein, she and Russ continue on and track Ladd's movements south to the longhouse where the otter fishermen of Cairn gather in the evening to drink some beer and sing some oyster shanties. They welcome Snoot, sit her down, and put a pint in her paw, and when they hear Ladd's name they get somber and raise a mug to him. They confirm that they saw him the night he died, walking east towards the bridge. 

Ratatosk, meanwhile, talks to Ripark, but the old mole is less than forthcoming. He shows Ratatosk one of the metal discs and Ratatosk does some quick alchemy to it, and determines that it's made of silver and it's pretty useless. Metal is risky anyway, because it saps Harmony, but this isn't even functional metal. Ripark snaps it right back up, though, and claims that it is useful, but isn't answering any more questions.

At this point Rummy joins Ratatosk, and when she walks in they both hear the drunken "wa-hey!" of Jellin Berrytail. Jellin is, like Rummy, an opossum, and has made his interest in her clear on the occasions they've met him. He waves at them from a dark alcove, but then someone pulls him back to his seat.

The Knights walk over and find that the alcove's inhabitants are Moriarty Sprit and his bodyguard, Knuckles. Neither of these people are savory sorts, and the Knights ask after Ladd. Moriarty claims that Ladd was here last night, had a glass of mushroom beer, and left. A couple of times during the conversation, Jellin tries to pipe up, but then yelps as though someone was poking him in the ribs and Moriarty refills his mug. He does, however, manage to get the word "Sell-su?" out.

Back across the bridge, Russ and Snoot find themselves close to the main construction site (recall that Cairn has been expanding, and so groups of workers have been working to build more housing). Russ takes to the sky and spots a bat fluttering around the site, and calls out to him. The bat lands to talk to the Knights, introducing himself as Rink Fellswoop. He says that he's been helping out by tidying up the construction site after the workers leave in the evening - he's not strong enough to be a lot of help during the actual building but he does want to contribute, as a new arrival himself. He says that he talked to Ladd briefly the night he died, and pointed him toward where the folks doing construction were staying - the groundhogs have a temporary warren, the beavers have built a lodge on the banks of the Swiftriver, and the hares are mostly staying near the Cider Mill Inn. As far as he knows Ladd went to go talk to the groundhogs.

Back at the Root, Ratatosk and Rummy leave, but turn the weird word that Jellin said over in their heads. Rummy remembers that there's a mole named Selisu Vergildirt - she remembers because she found the name "Selisu" very euphonious and was thinking of including it in a song. Figuring that she lives in the Underground, they pay a visit to Mimsy Bogglesworth (it takes a few tries to find her house), and Mimsy guides them to Selisu's place. As they approach, they spot another mole watching them, but when they call out to the mole, he(?) vanishes down a tunnel.

They knock on the door and Selisu answers, but is paranoid and careful - she even asks if the Knights are there to murder her. When she realizes who they are, she lets them in, and says that she talked to Ladd at the root. He was asking questions about the construction sites, and grilling Ripark pretty hard, but Ripark wasn't talking. Selisu, however, told him something that interested him: "Jiddie ain't a mouse." 

An aside: Jiddie Littlebrook is (supposedly) a mouse, a recent arrival in Cairn, and has taken on the task of coordinating the construction crews and projects - definitely something for someone with managerial skill! But if Jiddie isn't a mouse, what is she? Ratatosk guesses maybe a very small rat, and Selisu confirms this. But why hide one's species? Residents of Cairn don't generally care, so there must be some other reason.

Whatever the truth, Selisu has been told that she'd better stay in the Underground if she knows what's good for her. The Knights make clear that she should tell them if she needs help, and then they try to blunder their way to the surface ("I swear this changes every time we're here," says Rummy). 

They surface near the construction site, just as Snoot and Russ are finishing their chat with Rink. They exchange what they've learned, and Russ and Snoot are just as confused as to why Jiddie would lie about her species. The only thing they can think of is that the various species common to Cairn do develop reputations - groundhogs are stubborn, pika are thieves, mice are industrious, and so on. Rats are believed to be sneaky and untrustworthy, so if someone wanted to avoid that stigma, especially as a new face, pretending to be a mouse might help. 

The Knights decide to get some sleep, but to get up bright and early and talk to the construction workers as they head in to the site. Russ heads back to the Roost to look over the day's reports, while the others head for home.

In the morning, they meet up and, as planned, intercept the group of workers heading to the site. The groundhogs aren't terribly forthcoming about Ladd, but one of the beavers nods to Snoot and hangs back to talk to her.

The beaver - one Copky Ripplesplash - reveals that the construction workers and the new arrivals in Cairn have all been told they'll get the best housing and other perks if they support someone to replace Keeble Brownberry as Lord Mayor. He doesn't know who, though. He does know that Jiddie Littlebrook is this mysterious person's mouthpiece, and she's been the one coordinating all this quid pro quo nonsense. Copky says that he's seen one powerful person put a whole town under their thumb, so he's not interested in seeing that happen again. And then he mentions that his mouth is numb, and collapses.

Snoot calls for Ratatosk, and Ratatosk yells at whoever's nearby to fetch a healer. In the meanwhile, he tastes Copky's waterskin, and determine it's been poisoned! Snoot asks some of the other beavers, and learns that waterskins are hung up every night to drain and dry, and then refilled in the morning and handed back. The beaver that filled the waterskins looks just as surprised as anyone, so Snoot guesses that someone switched Copky's skin for the poisoned one while he was on his way here. 

A hare healer, one Omat Thunderhop, scampers over and casts a Panacea spell on poor Copky, purging the poison. Copky doesn't have any idea when he got the poisoned waterskin, but whatever is going on here, people are willing to kill to keep it quiet. The Knights have their work ahead of them!

Character Creation: Stay Alive!

Got a while before I run Cairn today, and it's not like I can sleep anymore (sleep has been hard to come by of late), so sure, let's make a character.

The Game: Stay Alive!
The Publisher: Monte Cook Games
Degree of Familiarity: A good deal with the system, though I've never played this particular flavor
Books Required: Stay Alive! and the Cypher System core

Stay Alive!, apart from being the first lines in a song from Hamilton, is one of several supplements for the Cypher System that talks about playing said system in a particular genre. I got a bunch of these books as a Kickstarter reward recently, and I kind of went round and round about whether to count them for purposes of the chargen project. But at the end of the day, all of them present new systems and takes on characters, and my rule of thumb is to err on the side of "yes make more characters", so here we are. 

Anyway, there's a whole chapter in Stay Alive! about playing vampires. I know, how innovative! An RPG where you play vampires - but like, those are usually monsters, whaaaaaat. All sarcasm aside, yes, this is ground that Vampire: The Masquerade trod years ago, but it benefits from the ensuing 30ish years of game design and evolution. It also doesn't get into the weeds on the lore and contains a lot of toolbox elements (rather than saying "here is what vampires are and how they work"), but it also talks about the practicalities of drinking blood, feeding from animals, and basically everything that would be involved in being a modern vampire. It's also presented with the assumption that you're going to be turned into a vampire and have to figure shit out on your own, which has always been a favorite way of mine to run Vampire (true facts about GMing: Players will remember shit they learn at the table a lot more accurately than shit they read or get in an infodump).

So with that in mind, let's make a bloodsucker. Cypher characters are sentences: I'm a [adjective] [noun] that [verbs]. There's a section in the chapter that goes through some of the foci (the verb bit) and contextualizes some of them, and when I got to "would rather be reading" I kinda had an idea. I want to make a character that really wasn't looking for any of this, but it quite literally crashed through his window one night.

Kim Newton was...you could call him rich. He wasn't, like, a multi-millionaire or anything, but he owned a townhouse free and clear. He made his money in a dot-com before the bubble burst (Kim has always prided himself in knowing where the exits are and when to use them, figuratively and literally), and he got to the point that he could live comfortably off his savings. He was a passionate reader and amateur historian and researcher, and spent his time either reading his own extensively collection or traveling to rare books libraries. 

And then one night he was sitting in his study with a new first edition (were I playing this character I'd figure out what exactly, probably with some enthusiastic help from Michelle), and something crashed through the wall. Kim barely had time to register that the thing(s) that came through the wall were moving when one of them pounced on him, and then everything went dark.

So Kim's infection was a matter of accidental turning, I think - two vampires (both alike in dignity) were fighting, for whatever reason, they smashed into Kim's house, and one of them fed on him quickly to replenish. But of course, the vampire that did it didn't stick around, figuring he'd just die, and the fight raged on. 

Since then I think Kim has had to liquidate a lot of his assets, and he's finding the requirements of living as one of the undead unpleasant. It's funny; it's not like he spent a lot of time outside during the day to begin with, but now he can't and it's making things very tricky, and he's watching his bank account dwindle...

OK, so, Kim is pretty clearly a speaker or an explorer (though you could make a case for adept). I think I'll go with speaker. For descriptor, Calm makes sense, but if I'm taking Would Rather Be Reading for my focus, maybe that's redundant? You know, let's take Guarded and assume that Kim was always kind of a private person, but it's gotten worse post-death. That makes him a Guarded vampire Speaker who Would Rather Be Reading.

So, going back and filling stuff in: Might 8, Speed 9, Intellect 11, and then 6 points to split up. Let's split them evenly, 2 into each. Effort 1, Intellect Edge 1, other Edge 0. I get four speaker abilities, and I just realized that the hardcover version of the Cypher book I have is different than the PDF (looks like the changes are just cleanup, but it's still annoying).

I'll take Spin Identity (Kim can always grab onto something he's read to make up a story). Babel, likewise, sounds like a good one for Kim. Terrifying Presence sounds like something Kim might have developed post-vamping, so I'll take that. And I'll take Enthrall; that's always handy.

Now, for Guarded, I get +2 to my Intellect pool (nice), I'm trained in Intellect defense, I'm trained in all tasks involving piercing disguises and detecting lies, but I have an inability in deception and persuasion (odd choice for a speaker, I know). 

And then for Would Rather Be Reading, I'm trained in two non-combat skills. Let's say Kim is trained in research and history.

And then I get three "blood shifts," basically the same as "power shifts" (as seen in Claim the Sky), levels of Effort I can apply to specific tasks. Well, I'll put one into Terrifying Presence, one into Dexterity (meaning I get a free level of effort for things like speed and Speed Defense), and Healing (one extra recovery roll). 

And then finally, I (rather, my hypothetical GM) would roll three times on the vampire aversions table to see what my weaknesses are. I wouldn't know them until they happen in play, but since it's just me, y'know, here we go! 

And my aversions are...running water, religious power, and inhospitality. All vampires in-setting have an aversion to religious power, so Kim's goes up one degree, meaning he has a strong aversion to such things. He also takes damage if he enters a space uninvited (fitting, given how he was turned), and has to push himself to cross running water. 

That's actually it! Kim is in his 40s. He wasn't anything special to look at before, but since death he's lost his hair and gained a kind of mystique. His eyes have that green fierce "Brad Pitt in Interview With a Vampire" thing, and of course he's deathly pale. He's working on moving his possessions into storage until he can figure out what happens next. In a group, I think Kim would wind up funding things for a bit, but only as far as the rest of the characters could teach him or be useful.

Saturday, June 24, 2023

Chill: Bad, Bad Jimmy Boots

For today's Chill game, we cast our eyes back into the hoary mists of time. (It's a prequel. A PREQUEL.)

It's October 31, 2003. Three young girls, all 9-10 years old, all attendees of the same elementary school in Boise, have gone missing within a week. The police have been unable to make headway and there's no physical evidence to suggest what might have happened. The case comes to the attention of one Eleanor Henry, retired nurse, Army vet, and envoy of SAVE.

Eleanor, with the help of Dee Addams, quickly assembles a group of envoys. This includes: Felix Willis, a cattle rancher from rural Oregon; Susan Wisnewski, former professional swimmer and SAVE envoy; George Bloch, wrestling coach and high school history teacher; and Toby Matthews, cab driver and transplant from Chicago. All of these envoys have some degree of experience, though Felix, Eleanor, and Susan are all more seasoned. Time is of the essence, here.

The envoys go over what they already know: The first girl, Carrie Bay, disappeared while walking home from a sleepover. Two days later, Brianna Pennington, also a sleepover attendee, vanished from her bedroom. The next afternoon, Ashley Fernier (the girl who hosted the sleepover) disappeared from her backyard. 

The envoys decide to go and join the search effort. George finds a couple of teachers from the elementary school and asks about the disappearances. He learns that the girls were close friends. He also learns that Carrie left footprints in a park, but that they just...stop in the middle. The neighborhood is maybe four square blocks, and it's very much the sort of place that folks know their neighbors and wave to strangers. Everyone is on edge.

The other four envoys head out as well, and Eleanor looks at the park where Carrie disappeared. She spots something colorful up in a tree, and has Felix climb up and poke it. It falls to the ground - a little blue and pink beanie bear, with "CB" written on the tag loop. Clearly Carrie Bay's. 

George joins them, and senses the Unknown. He feels his gaze pulls up, past the treeline, to the east. He, Toby, Felix, and Susan follow George's nose (as it were), while Eleanor goes to the HQ of the search effort to show folks the bear. 

She winds up meeting Brian and Carl Bay, Carrie's daddies. They are, of course, very excited to see evidence of Carrie, and Eleanor talks with them a bit. She learns that Carrie headed out from Ashley's in mid-morning, but they didn't know that until later in the day (they thought the girls slept in, and didn't have any reason to miss Carrie). Brian takes Eleanor to meet Ashley's mother, Colleen, to maybe look around the yards where she disappeared.

Meanwhile, the other four envoys discover that east of where they were is a cul-de-sac, at the end of which is a show house, furnished and designed for people to tour when they're thinking of buying in the area. They check around the house and find that the doors are locked and there are alarm signs. George is ready to break in a door, but caution wins out, as they have an envoy (Susan) who can leave her body.

She sits in Toby's car and astrally projects, and "swims" her way to the basement. Once there, the place feels wrong - the air tastes dirty, and it's darker than it should be. She tries to go back, and finds that she can't figure out how. The room feels confusing and lost. She starts to panic, but has no way to contact the others.

The other three envoys watch and, as Susan doesn't come back to her body, start to get worried. Felix tries to Disrupt on her body and Susan feels someone shaking her body, but it doesn't help. Toby tries to peer in the glass block basement window, but can't really see anything. He uses Premonition and realizes that breaking the window will let them get Susan back, so they take the risk - George activates his Feat of Strength discipline and kicks in the window. Susan gasps and appears in her body, and the envoys decide to head back towards Eleanor.

Speaking of Eleanor, she talks with Colleen Fernier, Ashley's mother. Ashley shows her the backyard where Ashley disappeared - she went outside in the later afternoon, and just...vanished. There's no evidence, and Eleanor looks around but there's nothing in a sightline that indicates what might have happened. Colleen takes her upstairs and shows her Ashley's room.

Ashley had an interest in, let's say, the macabre. Lots of spooky drawings and artwork and costumes around. And in her closet, Eleanor finds a note, written in crayon:

Dear Jimmy Boots, This is crazy but are you here? Did you take my friends? Are they in the Dark Place with you? If you did this I’m gonna bring a red light and red drips to you I swear to god Jimmy Boots! You let my friends go! NOW

She shows the note to Colleen, and Colleen tells her that Jimmy Boots is the name of a doll that she made for Ashley when she was younger. She used to tell stories about Jimmy Boots, often working in whatever movies or books she was into at the time. Eleanor takes a picture of the note with her 2003 flip phone and tries to send it to Felix, and then heads over to Brianna Pennington's house (still escorted by Brian Bay). 

At Brianna's, Eleanor learns that Brianna vanished from her room in the middle of the night. They woke up because the house had gone cold, and found Brianna's window open. Eleanor checks sightlines again, and there's no way Brianna went out that window without help. 

The envoys hook up again and pore over the note. Eleanor, feeling peckish, heads over to get a sandwich, while Felix talks with Colleen and asks about the "red light" and "red drips" mentioned in the note. Colleen explains that while the stories about Jimmy Boots changed with Ashley's interests, one thing that stay consistent was that he was afraid of red light. As for "red drips," she recalled an incident where Ashley knocked over a red taper candle (part of a centerpiece) and nearly set fire to a tablecloth. She remembers yelling at Ashley, and Ashley clearly remembered that moment - the "red drips" refers to candle wax.

The envoys now have some sense of what they're looking for, even if they don't know exactly what Jimmy Boots is. George heads out to a hardware store and buys some flashlights with red filters, some red candles, and some road flares. Toby goes and buys some red t-shirts, and the group of them goes to the show house.

Eleanor calls the real estate company and explains that, as part of the search, they'd like to check the show house. The realtor agrees and meets them there. They search the upstairs and the ground floor, but there's no sign of the girls (or Jimmy Boots, for that matter). That leaves the basement, and they know there's something down there.

Eleanor tells the realtor to watch the door, since other folks from the search party might be showing up, and the five envoys descend into the basement. Toby's Premonition discipline shows him crawling through a small aperture in the wall, and they find a loose plank nailed between the washer and dryer. 

George holds it back, and Felix tosses in a road flare. And then Felix starts crawling in, unable to resist the idea. Something stabs him in the shoulder repeatedly and lets out a high-pitched giggle.

They pull Felix back out and Eleanor patches him up as best she can, but it's pretty bad. They yell at Jimmy Boots to come out, to let the girls go, but he petulantly refuses. "You're old," he says to Eleanor. "Take a nap!" She feels herself get sleepy, but resists the urge. 

Jimmy Boots gets angry, and a million spiders crawl out of the hole. Felix raises a Sphere of Protection and the spiders melt away. Susan and George wiggle through the hole in the wall, and Eleanor tries, but her arthritis is too bad and she can't get through.

Inside the hole, which is bigger on the inside than the architecture would seem to allow, the characters find dirt floors, puddles, gross bugs, and four little girls sitting against the walls (wait, four?). The girls are non-responsive, and horribly, their flesh is starting to merge with the dirt. Toby realizes (again via Premonition) that if they pull the girls out, it'll tear their flesh, and he yells to stop George (who was already making a beeline for the nearest kid). 

Getting into the hole is hard for Felix because of his injury, but with Toby's help he manages. He moves the Sphere over two of the girls, and they pull themselves out of the earth and, understandably, freak out. They try to head for the exit, but it's gone - the plank has fallen over the entrance again.

On the other side, Eleanor tells Toby to drip some wax on it, and Toby does. The plank loosens and moves, and the envoys get all four girls out. The girls run for the stairs, but the Sphere sputters as Felix' will breaks. George moves into the dark, and he hears giggling as Jimmy Boots slashes him open. He collapses, bleeding, as Toby helps Felix and Susan out of the "Dark Place."

They see George's bloodied hand appear, and try to yank him through, but then Jimmy Boots drops down from the ceiling and stabs him in the back! Toby frantically hurls red wax at him, and as soon as it strikes the doll, it goes inert. The Dark Place seems to implode, pushing George the rest of the way out. They throw the evil doll into the laundry sink and burn it with a road flare, and George is rushed to the hospital.

Over the next few weeks, the authorities try to make sense of what happened. The envoys aren't suspected - they all have alibis for the girls' disappearance and their parents are overjoyed to have their kids back safe. But who was the fourth girl? She wasn't around when EMS arrived to take care of Ashley, Carrie, and Brianna, but the girls did know her, as she was a classmate of theirs. Her name is Beth Anne Stallard. Beth Anne, however, was never reported missing...

The envoys go back to their lives. Toby decides this whole "SAVE" thing probably isn't for him. George is willing, but he has a long recovery ahead of him. Felix moves back to his ranch in Oregon and loses track of SAVE, but they catch up with him eventually. Susan, likewise, mostly retires from SAVE, although she does provide some hospitality for the Boise cell some years in the future. And Eleanor continues working with the Boise cell until her peaceful death in 2017, after which Dee Addams sends some envoys to collect her notes.

Tuesday, June 20, 2023

Slipstream: Is This The End For Our Heroes?!

(dramatic chord) 

Last time, our heroes mounted the rebel attack on Anathraxa's fleet! They were doing well, too. They'd fought their way through the blockade, did a bombing run on the army of Primals below, and then landed to mop 'em up. 

They lost their Nivekian crew member, however, and another of their crew, Rill, was badly injured. Gruff, their medic, stayed behind to help heal him, and the three heroes, King Boolar, and Craw hopped on rocket sleds and zoomed towards the capital of Ruros, the city of Agricula.

As they pull up to the city limits, they can see that everyone seems to have left - not surprising in war. They move into the city and Iris flies up to a roof to scout ahead, and spots a cluster of Primals around a blockade. Boolar and Craw ram the blockade with Zeenia's rocket sled (which is fitted with a ram, so it can handle this), while the others fire at the Primals - this skirmish is over in seconds. The heroes move on, feeling pretty good so far.

In the distance, they spot a radiophone tower, obviously a different kind of construction than the rest of the town. That's probably where the forces of Anathraxa are coordinating their assault. They move in, and Iris spots an Anathraxan warship, guarded by three mechanical men. They spot her and start walking back towards the group. One of them walks right up to the rocket sled and then explodes; Craw catches a bit of shrapnel but the king is unharmed. Now knowing that these things are Walking Bombs, the heroes stay back and fire on them until they detonate. 

They quickly discuss whether to head to the ship or the tower, but Zeenia points out that the tower is the more immediate threat. They talk about calling in an airstrike, but Boolar notes that they don't know who's in that building - they might have hostages! The heroes decide to have Boolar and Craw take the other sled and circle around the city to the warship, and then ram it (jumping clear!) to act as a distraction, while the heroes approach the tower directly.

The three of them creep toward the tower, but their attempts at stealth come to naught (in fairness they did just set off three Walking Bombs). A woman in terrifying power armor flies out of the tower, and the heroes are shocked to recognize their old foe, the Handmaiden Erif the Strange! But how? She died back in the Radios mine! 

She hovers there and screams "Meet my sisters - Ekaterina Marrow and Enemel the Hungry! Today you die in the name of our Queen!" Two more women in power armor emerge, and the heroes realize to their horror they are facing not one, but three Handmaidens. 

The battle is joined! Erif yells to Enemel "Kill the Zeeborite! She is the most dangerous!" Enemel fires on Zeenia with an automatic anti-matter rifle, and misses - Zeenia stands as the rifle's blasts pock the ground around her, not understanding the weapon (and unused to being hurt anyway). Ekaterina and Erif draw laser swords, and Abbas activates his rocket belt and flies straight for Ekaterina. He's unused to fighting while flying, however, and she swoops by and slices him with her sword. He changes tactics and pulls his plasma shotgun, but when he fires it at her it explodes! The blast pushes him into a spiral, and Ekaterina catches up and runs him through, pushing his body to the ground.

Enemel recalibrates and fires on Zeenia again, this time hitting the mark. She blows holes in the warrior princess, and then drops her gun and swoops in. Zeenia slashes at her with her tentacle knives and manages to score her armor, but not hurt her. Zeenia moves toward the tower, hoping to get in and destroy it, but she can't muster the strength to lift her tentacles to break the door.

Meanwhile, Iris faces off with Erif. They exchange some swordplay, but Erif's armor is too tough and her laser sword too swift. "Thus falls the Valkyrie!" scoffs Erif, as Iris spirals to the ground.

Enemel lands next to Zeenia, and though she tries to defend herself, she's badly wounded. The Handmaiden's blade cuts through her gelatinous body, and all three of the heroes lay on the battlefield, dying.

Is this the end?! Has the rebellion come so far only to falter now? Tune in next time!

Monday, June 19, 2023

Character Creation: They Stirred

It's not about baking or soup, though that might have been better.

The Game: They Stirred
The Publisher: Dry River Gaming LLC
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

I admit that the bar to getting me to back a Kickstarter for an RPG is pretty low. Basically, not D&D, subject matter that appeals in some way, not made by someone who falsely accused me of something. It's where most of my disposable income goes. And that's fine; I love RPGs, I love playing and reading new ones, and I love being able to support the creative process in a way that doesn't hurt anyone by having to put my tainted name on a book. 

That does mean, though, that I often back a game and forget about it for the 13+ months it'll take to get the book (that time spans varies widely, of course). So if you asked me today why I backed They Stirred, I'd probably tell you it sounds like a cool horror game, but I don't remember anything about it. But based on the title, it might be able a chthonic god or demonic race awakening, yeah? Who are the titular "they" and why do they deserve the title spot? Must be something compelling?

Well, no. It's a pretty bog-standard zombie apocalypse game, in about half of the PbtA system (I say that because, while it uses the "roll 2d6, add a stat, 6- is a miss, 7-9 is a hit with condition, 10+ is a hit" thing, it doesn't actually use a lot of the philosophical underpinnings of what, to me, makes a great PbtA game, but that's something you can go to a better blog for). It's not as bad as, say, Dead Scare, and it's looks perfectly playable. There's an interesting "trouble" mechanic - every so often the trouble rating goes up, and when you roll less than the trouble rating a trouble happens (or the GM can choose to add one to the trouble rating and let it ride, which I appreciate as an option - sometimes the moment isn't right). 

There's also a kind of minigame for multi-step plans that involves writing shit on scraps of paper and pulling them out of a hat, and that one baffled me a little. Not only is it a departure from the overall resolution mechanics of the rest of the game, it's a departure from every mechanical framework of the game. And that kind of thing can be really brilliant (see also Dread, which, side note, that Dread character is also for a zombie apocalypse situation) but here it just comes across as weird because it's not the focus of the game, it's just a thing you do sometimes.

I don't know. I can't say I expected more because I don't remember expecting anything. I get games in the mail sometimes, I read them, I make characters, and sometimes I get fun stuff like Fight Item Run or WILD, sometimes I get utter crapola, and sometimes I get stuff like this or LibertĆ© where there are one or two interesting ideas, but overall I can't shake the feeling that if I was going to run something like it, I have better implementations (for this, offhand, Zombie World, All Flesh Must Be Eaten, or, hell, curse the darkness, which has something a little like the trouble mechanic, now that I think about it). 

Anyway, that's enough blather, let's make a chather! Um, character!

OK, no table of contents and the PDF isn't bookmarked. Not off to a great start, here.

Actually, I like the world creation step of this game. It involves picking options from a list, which is something I've seen in other games. I just think the game overall could've done with a little more flavor; it's basically a weak broth and a list of suggestions of things you could stir in. Well, yeah, or I could just make my own soup or use one of these premade mixes that's a lot less work for a lot more reward. Weird analogy, I know. 

Anyway, first step of chargen is to pick a background. This sets my stats and gives me a couple of questions to answer. Let's see here.

I think I'll set "cop" as my background. I know, ACAB, but nothing says good characters can't be bastards. Also, it'd be interesting to play a cop that knew about the corruption, the systemic bias, and so forth, and convinced himself he was "changing things from within", but now there is no more within, so does that mean he's a better person? He can do all that "help people" stuff he always said he wanted to do? 

That to me says I'm taking the second option:

(The other option is rookie.)

I get a service revolver or a fire ax. My guy must be old school if he's still carrying a revolver. 

The only other step to chargen is "backstory," which in this case means I come up with a character or group I owe a favor to. I get a special move called authority figure, but there's no place on the sheet to write that so it must not be that important.

Anyway, who do I owe a favor to? Let's say that my character was a homicide detective, a couple of weeks from retirement. He almost went into IA, but his uncle (also a cop) talked him out of it, because fuck those snitches, have your brothers' backs. He almost blew the whistle on a bunch of cops who were running a coordinated grift, taking money and valuables from evidence, but when he went to talk to his captain, he spotted a money clip on the captain's desk that he knew he'd seen in lockup the week before. And so he just did his best, or at least he did what he could, trying to get to retirement. He told himself that when he retired, he'd blow the lid off. Write a book. Do a blog. Say it was horrible. 

And then they stirred, and shit went south (and at this point, the decisions that the group made about the apocalypse would be relevant, but it's just me, so). A lot of the cops in his city died (just like a lot of the cops everywhere), but some of the remaining ones, including a bunch of the fuckers stealing from the lockup, holed up in the station and have formed their own little boys' club. And my character's uncle is the one running things over there. 

So at some point, the infected nearly pinned my character down in a blind alley, and three of the guys from "The Last Precinct" (as they're calling themselves, because they don't know their sitcom history) jumped in and saved him. So he owes them a favor. 

My guy's name is Corey Vanter. Yeah, he's a 55-year-old guy named "Corey," so he goes by "Van." He's a little hunched over from too many years peering at a screen without his glasses (they make his nose itch). He's got thinning brown/grey hair, and he tried to grow a beard once, but it made him look like, to quote his old partner, "a hobo with the mange." Now it's growing back in, because it's not like shaving cream and razors are in great supply. 

That'll do it!

Sunday, June 18, 2023

Pugmire: Origami Crocodiles

Here we are back in Waterdog Port, brokering peace between rats and mice...but first, JAWS OF SWAMPY DOOM!

The dogs are in Swampwalk, at the end of wooden path, and have just discovered that the collection of boxes they found was a trap to lure them out here. And then the crocodiles! Three of them lurch up out of the swamp and snap at the dogs, but Petunia Pibble is ready for this. She jukes to the side and throws a lightning bolt at the crocs, zapping two of them, and her fellow spellcaster Peppa Papillon conjures up a spiritual guardian to protect her. Unfortunately, the cros are pretty fixated on their next meal. 

One of them grabs Peppa and starts to drag her toward the water. Another bites into Gelert Sausagedog's leg, and a third snaps at Boomer Pitbull. Boomer flies into a rage and beats the croc to death with his mighty warhammer, and Sausagedog, thinking quickly, whacks the one biting him with a lantern! It bursts into flame and the croc lets him go and submerges.

The croc holding on to Peppa pulls her into the water and she goes under. Petunia yells for help - she doesn't have any magic that can target the creature while she can't see it, and she knows if she dives in she won't be much assistance. Dire Newfoundland, however, shows no fear! He leaps into the swamp, grabs Peppa, and keeps hold of her, trying to pull her free before the croc can death-roll her.

Peppa, thinking quickly, casts Sacred Flame on the croc, making it light up and revealing its location to Petunia, who fills it full of Magic Missile and kills it. The third croc snaps at Sausagedog again, but Boomer runs to the rescue, stuns it with his hammer. Sausagedog finished it off with a blow from his ax, and the dogs pause a moment to catch their breath ("ow" says Peppa). 

They decide not to stay any longer than they need to - these probably weren't the only three crocs in the swamp, after all. Sausagedog checks around a big, but doesn't see any evidence to indicate who might have set this trap (though the heroes figure that the mouse they met who pointed them here might well be involved). They start heading back towards town, and are nearly out of the Swampwalk when Sausagedog looks down and sees an arrow in his chest.

Fortunately it didn't penetrate much below the armor, and so Sausagedog is mostly unharmed, but the characters are being ambushed! A mischief of mice, all armed with daggers or bows, appears from hiding and attacks! 

They might have been expecting to find the characters weakened or wounded, but we'll never know. Petunia sends two of them flying into the swamp with a Thunderwave spell and lays out a third with her staff. Dire draws his greatsword and cuts one in half, and his followup swing decapitates one and wounds another. Boomer doesn't even bother raging, he just lays into the mice, and soon only one remains. Dire, consumed with rage, kills it, and the assault is over. Again, the dogs don't have a definitive idea of who's attacking them, but they want to have a frank exchange of views with Claire Mune. 

They find Claire near Harv's Hideaway, and she rushes up to them, apparently glad they're alive. They demand to know what's going on, and Claire admits that she pointed them towards the crocs, but claims not to know about the second attack. She tells them that Lady Brie is the one who's ultimately spreading the stories about violent rats, and she agrees to take the characters to see her. The dogs, however, decide that rest is the first priority, and head back to the inn to get some sleep.

The next morning, they head back to the Haze. Claire joins them as they're entering (she's been hiding all night, since she isn't sure if she's safe in the Haze at the moment). She takes them to see Lady Brie - in Underport.

Underport is the name for the tunnels beneath Waterdog Port, and, well, they're mostly sewers. A lot (a lot) of mice are living down here, and it's pretty squalid and cramped. Claire takes them to a section of tunnel that Lady Brie has claimed and cleaned up as best she can, and everyone sits down to a nice chat.

Brie tells them that while, yes, the mice have been spreading deadly rumors about rats, it's been in service to a greater goal. The rats, led by Brutus, have been snapping up all of the land in the Haze and edging out the mice, to the point that most of them have been forced to live in the sewers. Their whisper campaign, however, has gotten the attention of the monitors, and soon Brie hopes that the powers-that-be in Waterdog will actually start caring what happens in the Haze. The dogs, of course, are sympathetic to this cause, but not so much to the methods. 

Petunia puts forth that, perhaps, Brutus might be willing to negotiate? Brie scoffs, but does agree that if Brutus were willing to cease the aggressive expansion and help mice, you know, live in real houses, she'd be willing to call of her campaign of lies. 

The characters go and see Brutus, now that they know the truth about the rumors of rotten rats. Brutus receives them and is horrified to hear what's been happening, but equally disturbed to hear how the mice have been living. He claims that he didn't know that the mice were having such difficulties, and if Lady Brie had just come and talked to him this could all have been avoided. 

The characters broker peace talks between Brie and Brutus, hosted by Zanna of the Four Audacities. After a couple of days, tensions in the Haze seem to have eased somewhat, though of course it takes some time. The dogs ask Brutus about the Flask of Bobby Golden, and he rummages around in his possessions and...hands them the Flask (he thinks of it as Zanna's price for using her status as a Luminary to help things in the Haze, and he's not wrong, though it's probably just as well the dogs don't mention the massive reward for the Flask). 

The dogs stay in Waterdog for a few weeks, helping with negotiations, seeing the sights, and making arrangements for travel. Also, Boomer and Dire drag a crocodile corpse to Franz Bulldog, a local tanner, who works with his grunty brother Jermaine (an armorer) to fashion a set of hide armor for Boomer. 

They also learn the function of the Flask, before handing it over. If you drink from it, it gives you whatever you most desire to drink! Pretty innocuous, as magic items go, and so the dogs don't have any real hesitation in giving it over to Zanna (who, in turn, gives it Erwin Sharpei). 

Next time: Onto the high seas!

Friday, June 16, 2023

Character Creation: Arcanum 30th Anniversary Edition

Live and learn. 

The Game: Arcanum 30th Anniversary Edition
The Publisher: ZiLa Games
Degree of Familiarity: More than I thought, I guess, but still not much
Books Required: Just the one

I started playing RPGs in 1985, and it was pretty much all Marvel Superheroes (from TSR) all the time until maybe 1987 or so. At that point I started buying (well, obtaining, since it's not like I had much of a revenue stream at 13) other RPGs, and my criteria for buying them was mostly: 1) does the cover look cool? 2) Does the back cover text sound cool? and 3) Does this game require me to buy a gazillion books? It's that last one that kept me away from GURPS, D&D, and even Vampire for a long time (I mean, not Vampire in 1987, obviously, but the principle was the same in 1994 when I started looking at WoD games). 

All of this to say: I probably saw Arcanum kicking around Mind Games in the mid/late 80s or early 90s, if I did, the plain black book with the big pentacle on the front might have turned me off just because it didn't mean anything to me. (Also: Man, ballsy move to publish an RPG with a fucking pentacle on the front as the Satanic Panic was still going on!) And now I have this 30th Anniversary Edition as part of some bundle or other, and started reading it this morning.

And I was surprised to realize that Arcanum was the precursor to Atlantis: The Second Age! (I mean, it's mentioned in the Atlantis book, but it's in a sidebar and it's easy to miss.) Khepera owns the rights to the Atlantis setting, but there's still a lot of stuff in Arcanum that looks familiar (some of the races, the geography, the history...). 

But man, this book. It's 366 pages. Four (4) of them are setting. Well, in fairness, the race and class sections do give us a little setting, but mostly this comes off as "here are some races and classes, go play D&D." There's no attention given to style or genre of play, and the mythology basis for the races that are included are all over the place (dwarves! Elves! Selkies! Aesir! Halfings!). But then there's also shit like this:

I mean, minor in the scheme of things, but wtf? That's not even counting the rules for addiction and abuse of drugs. But my favorite "huh?" moment in the book is this one in the "what is an RPG" section:

The word "schizophrenia" appears nowhere else in the book. It's not contextualized in a later paragraph any better. The only thing I can think of it is that it's a clumsy way to say "the GM wears a lot of hats lol" but like...what a shit way to say that. Oh, also, that "what is an RPG" section is 3 pages. The setting section, remember, is four (4). 

OK, well, this character ain't gonna make itself, and I want to do game prep for Pugmire

OK, first we choose a race! Hmm. Oh, I don't know. I love selkies, but these ain't selkies. They're just aqua-people (seriously, why the hell call them "selkies" if they don't have any of the mythological underpinnings?). Let's make a Zephyr. They have wings, that's pretty dope. 

Oh, you know, it occurs to me that when I made a character for Atlantis, I made an Owl-Man assassin. Well, I'll stick with Zephyr, but I'll pick a different kind of profession, how 'bout. Anyway, for being a Zephyr I get:

I can see fine details within a mile, good grief. Next up, we pick a Profession. I'm limited to the ones listed, which is stupid, but whatevs. Let's not do Warrior, Bounty Hunter, or Hunter since those are a little too similar to my Owl-Man...oh, hang on, Necromancer? I do love me some necromancy. Oh, wait, hang on, they're evil by default. So why are they PC options? Jesus.

OK, well, what's that leave? What's "Enchanter?" Can I summon up fire without flint or tinder? Maybe. Ugh, but I don't know if I feel like fucking with the magic system. What's that leave? What about Corsair? Eh, pirates, and they really lean into the "rogue" side of things. Blah. You know, I think Shaman would be fun. I have visions of my guy kind of flying up to meet the sunrise, silhouetted with the wings outstretched. That does mean I have to do magic, but I'll figure it out.

Next we choose an alignment. As a shaman I don't have restrictions there. I often lean toward Chaotic Good, and for a nature-focused character that makes sense anyway.

Background. Doesn't seem like these are restricted, so could I pick City Dweller? Seems like I could. Sure, Shamans seem like Barbarian would be a better fit, but I'd like to mix things up. So we'll say my guy was raised in a city, but somewhere along the way he had a "Constantine on the road" moment, left the city, rededicated himself to the deities of the natural world, and moved out into the sticks. I get two Skills from the City Dweller list, so let's take Language and Haggling (this guy maybe ran a stall in the city's market or something). 

Renown...hrm. It says I start with 1-4 Renown, but there doesn't seem to be a way to determine that. In the example of chargen, the GM has the player roll a d4. I don't see this guy as having much, though, so let's just say 1 and move on with our lives. 

Attributes! Oh, lort. I get 2d6+100 points to throw around (thank you so much for slimming this down, Jerry). I roll a 4 on 2d6, ugh. 104 points to throw around. 

OK, so, I can't go lower than 6 or the Profession minimum (whichever is higher), and I can't go higher than racial maximum. My max in Str and Con is 14, but everything else has high maximums (18 or more). I have to put at least 12 into Intelligence, 15 into Will, and 14 into Perception. Let's start there. That's 41 right there. 

15 is the break point for when you start getting bonuses, good to know. Let's start at the top. I'll put 12 into Strength (53), 15 into Dexterity (68), 15 into Speed (83), 14 into Con (97)...ooh, hell, too much. OK. Let's bump Strength down to 10, Dex down to 12, Speed down to 12. That gives me 89 spent. 15 left. I'll put 13 of those into Charisma and bump Perception to 15 and Intelligence to 13. That gives me:

Strength 10
Dexterity 12
Speed 12
Constitution 14
Intelligence 13
Will 15
Charisma 13
Perception 15

Hit points! Con + 2 because I'm an untrained fighter, so 16. 

Saves! I get a +1 to Will and Perception saves. Easy.

Encumbrance! Fucking seriously? 50lbs, because I'm a zephyr and they're weak.

Wealth! Roll a d100 and that gives me...Flourishing! 10d10+200 monies! Jesus. 258. 

That's really everything except the "details," you know, that pesky backstory stuff that got shunted to the end. So sure, let's do that.

Hylee Mellezho was a zephyr living in Atlantis, and was doing very well buying, selling, and trading goods. He never did anything really illegal, but wasn't above making shady deals. And then one day he made a deal that was a little too shady and wound up getting grabbed and stuffed in a box on the riverfront while some very tough Nethermen decided what to do with him. 

The box he was stuff in was facing east and had airholes in it, and so Hylee watched the sun rise over the water. And in doing so, he felt a sense of peace that he had never felt before. The scents and sounds of the city were gone, and he watched the sunlight burn away the morning mist. When the Nethermen eventually let him out (it was all a big misunderstanding), Hylee liquidated his goods and left the city. He traveled in the outlands for weeks, and finally met a shaman greeting the sun. Hylee asked her to take him on as an apprentice, and spent the next four years living under her tutelage. 

Hylee has coppery skin, flaming red hair (it used to be dull and brown, but has gotten brighter as he's lived outside), and brilliant yellow eyes. He's not interested in violence - he'll hunt, sure, but he's most focused on reverence for the natural world. He has, let's be honest, an unbearably naive view of the wilds, even after his apprenticeship, and his mentor has never quite managed to instill the whole "red in tooth and claw" thing into him, but she's now released him to go and find a path. So he'll figure it out, or something will eat him, either's good. 

Done! 

Thursday, June 15, 2023

Movie #732: Spaceballs

Spaceballs is a parody/spoof of sci-fi and space opera movies directed by Mel Brooks, and starring Brooks, Bill Pullman, Daphne Zuniga, John Candy, Rick Moranis, George Wyner, Joan Rivers, and Lorene Yarnell Jansson. 

The titular Spaceballs are an imperial civilization, led by the feckless President Skroob (Brooks) but represented by the fearsome Dark Helmet (Moranis) and the immense space cruiser Spaceball One (I mention that because there's a running joke about how big it is). The Spaceballs, their planet running out of breathable air, plan to suck away the atmosphere of their neighbor planet Druidia. To get around the "air shield", they plan to kidnap Princess Vespa (Zuniga), the spoiled daughter of King Roland (Dick Van Patten). 

So far, so good. Our squared-jawed hero here is Lone Starr (Pullman), who, along with his buddy Barf (Candy), get hired to rescue her. Inevitably, Vespa and Lone Starr fall in love, Lone Starr learns the ways of the Force Schwartz, as taught to him by the Everlasting Know-It-All Yogurt (also Brooks), Spaceball one is destroyed (but with no real casualties, because it's not the kind of movie where people die), and we end with a wedding and Lone Starr learning he's actually a prince. 

The plot is pretty Saturday morning cartoon, if we're honest, but that's not why we're here. We're here to watch references to Star Wars, Star Trek, Alien and so on, to watch Rich Moranis being silly, and so forth. This is one of my favorite Mel Brooks movies not because it's necessarily great satire (it's not, it's parody at best), but because it came out when I was about 13 and very much the target audience. 

But watching it now, I have to say that the humor runs the gamut between dialog so obvious it's cringey, sight gags that work, sight gags that don't, and dialog that's actually pretty brilliant ("Prepare ship for metamorphosis! Ready, Kafka?"). As usual, Spaceballs succeeds as parody because it doesn't rehash what it's poking at (looking at you, Scary Movie), it keeps its focus tight (looking at you Robin Hood: Men in Tights, and also still looking at you, Scary Movie franchise), and it clearly has some love for its source material. 

Bill Pullman is a good choice for our leading man. He's funny, but he's not a comedian, and since he needs to be the straight man much of the time, that's a good choice. Putting him next to John Candy, who is (was...aw, made myself sad) hilarious while still being earnest and good-natured is just smart casting. I don't love Daphne Zuniga, but like, the Girlfriend role in Brooks movies is often thankless. 

But for me, the best parts of the movie are Rick Moranis and George Wyner (as his XO Colonel Sanders) playing off one another. Far and away my favorite bit in the movie is the one following the line "There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry...Lone Starr!"

My Grade: B+
Rewatch Value: High


Character Creation: Circle of Hands

Like Hands Across America, but in a circle.

The Game: Circle of Hands
The Publisher: Ron Edwards
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

I remember this game getting a lot of chatter when it was Kickstarting. Without doing a deep dive into the archives of the time (I'd like to avoid being triggered today, thanks anyway), my recollection is that the professed "brutality" of the setting was the issue. Reading the Kickstarter page now, I can't really see what the fuss is about just based on that, but this was nearly a decade ago and I'm sure there was all kinds of discourse about it going on in G+ and so on, and I'm equally sure a bunch of people talked past each other. 

I'm not interested in any of that. I read the game and the first couple of chapters, at least, are really laden with a lot of insight into the authors' goals and mindset in writing it, and then I thought "oh, right, same guy that wrote Sorcerer" and it kinda fell into place. 

The setting of Circle of Hands is a kind of quasi-Dark Ages thing. There are several well-defined cultures (not really nations), magic is a Big Screaming Deal in-setting, and the characters are Circle Knights, who go out on ventures, ostensibly in support of the young king of Rolke, but the game is entirely focused on the ventures, not the in-between stuff. You also make two characters (everyone does, including the GM), and when you go on a venture you play any of the characters in the pool, including the ones the GM made. You just don't play the same one twice in a row.

(Side note: Something very much like this kind of emerged organically in my Chill campaign; everyone has at least two characters, so that in the very likely instance that one character is injured or traumatized, you've got another one to fall back on.)

I didn't get into the system too much, but honestly I think I'd probably give this game a miss not for any philosophical or content reason, but because it's a game with a detailed setting and that means my players would have to read it or suffer a huge info dump, and I'd rather play something with more collaborative elements. But the chargen system looks fun, so let's do that!

This is my "scratch paper" right here, of course. 

So, we start off with Attributes. There are four of them (Brawn, Quickness, Wits, Charm), and we generate them by rolling a d6 and adding 1, except for Brawn, which starts at 6 (rather, "treated as if the die came up 5", which I'm sure makes sense to someone). I'm meant to roll a black d6 for Quickness, a white one for Wits, and a red one for Charm, and I happen to have all those colors, so: I get white 2, red 3, black 6 (boo-ya). I'm a Quick motherfucker. That's Quickness 7, Wits 3, Charm 4, for those playing along at home.

I then pick two traits from a list. I think I want to be Romantic (which is defined as "the delusion of narrative," which I really like; I think it'd be interesting to play someone searching for meaning in a nihilistic setting) and Ambitious. Those add +2 to Charm and +1 to Quickness and Wits, respectively, which means I end up with Brawn 6, Quickness 8, Wits 4, Charm 6. 

My homeland is determined by my highest Attribute, which is Quickness, so I'm from Famberge. 

Moving on to Profession: I get one Profession per four points of Wits, and since my Wits is 4, I get one. Easy peasy. I can't have Wizard as my only profession, so no wizarding for me (but note that everyone in this game knows some spells, it's just that wizards know them all). 

Well, my highest trait being Quickness speaks to something a little more physical, though of course I could spin it any way. I think I want my guy's profession to be Merchant. That sets my social rank as "Professional."

Sex: Male. I usually default to male characters, unless there's a reason in-setting (like, if we're playing Thirsty Sword Lesbians or something). Sex does matter here, kinda, inasmuch as female Knights are unusual.

Magic: I get [Wits] points in spells, not [Wits] spells, although the book isn't always clear on this point. I have to take a mix of black and white magic. 

(Side note: A lot of the spells "ascend" an unnamed character if cast on them, and I had to look up what that meant. Basically it means that character gets a name and some plot relevance, which I think is a really cool mechanic.)

A lot of these spells are pretty cool, actually. I'll take Waft (basically Featherfall) and Haze as white spells, and Reflect (redirect a spell targeted at me) as my black spell (it's level 2). 

Details: Gotta roll the dice again. This gives me Demeanor, Feature, and Name. 

Black die came up 3, added to Charm makes 10, so my demeanor is "Formal." Adhering to class-based social boundaries. That tracks for my ambitious dude.

White die came 1, plus Charm is 5, so my Feature is "mismatched eyes." Neat! I'm like Robbie Reyes! Or a husky! 

Red die came up 3, and we don't add nothin', which means I take a name that refers to "blessed" or "god" (there's a list). As a Professional I have a surname as well. We'll say that, as a merchant, I used to drive my stuff around in a cart, so his surname is "Carter." We'll say the first name is Eduard. 

Arming! I'm a Professional but have no martial training, so all of my weapons and fighting training comes from the Circle. And it's already checked! I can use a spear, basically. 

Finally, Key Event. This is a brief description of the event that made Eduard become a Circle Knight. Interestingly, it's meant to be a factual - even clinical - account, rather than touching on motivation or philosophy (presumably this is because I'm not always going to be the one playing this character, so I shouldn't set in stone too much about his actual mindset). 

Eduard's cart was raided - not a new thing, it happens, all he could do is avoid getting hurt. This time was different. They didn't take the horses, they killed them. They didn't take the goods, they burned it. Eduard made the mistake of trying to intervene, and one of the raiders stabbed him in the chest and threw him down a hill. The knife lodged between his ribs, which probably saved his life; he didn't bleed out. He managed to drag himself to a road and passed out. The next people to pass by were a pair of Knights, and for reasons that have never really been explained to Eduard, they carried him to safety. 

And that's it! If I were playing Eduard I think I'd lean into the "delusion of narrative," especially him believing that he was saved for a reason, and being especially angry about the nihilism of the men that tried to kill him.