Character Creation: The Last Night of the World

Well, no, not quite. 

This is the last character of 2021, and I've waxed philosophical in the past at times like this. This year, I find myself wondering, what exactly is the point? Shit has been falling apart for a few years now, for me personally even longer, and while I'm not as suicidally depressed as I have been, I'm skating closer to the edge of nihilism than I ever have. A dozen times a day I find myself thinking "I don't care," and that's entirely out of character for me, because I do care, I care passionately and fervently about everything I do. That was pretty close to a motto for me for a long time: Everything I do with everything I have.

Either that attitude is changing, or maybe I just don't have that much anymore. I'm getting older, my health is so-so and I'm not motivated to improve it, I've lost a community and all respect within it, and I can't fault the community for that. Nihilism might just be a defense mechanism; I've become so used to things that I love getting taken away that maybe it's safe not to love quite easily. 

But then, on the other hand, I just replayed Spiritfarer, and during the trips to the Everdoor with Stanley and Jackie (I'm not contextualizing that, go play the game, it's amazing) I had tears rolling down my face. So I guess I do still care, like Really Rosie advises, at least somewhat, at least sometimes. 

SO ANYWAY.

The Game: John Carter of Mars
The Publisher: Modiphius Entertainment
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

I was talking yesterday about how licensed IP RPGs need to do a good job of not only selling but contextualizing their parent works, lest the reader get overwhelmed with terminology. John Carter of Mars does a great job explaining not only what the various weird races and cities and so forth on Barsoom are, but why it all matters in context and what kinds of stories these really are. I got this PDF for free for some reason, but I'm thinking I may need to buy a hard copy, because I'm enjoying the read.

Well, anyway, I have a theme song, courtesy of Michelle:

"If the World Was Ending" by JP Saxe. Straightforward enough on its own; it's about love and support in a time of crisis. How to apply that to John Carter? I was trying to avoid making an Earthling, though the themes of separation, reconnection, and fear of the unknown or looming "end" would be pretty appropriate. Hmm. Well, let's start at the beginning. 

Step One is general concept. I think I want to play someone displaced from their home, which could mean Earth, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. He can't go home (at least to start with), and he's pining for a lover he left behind, which fits neatly into this whole "interplanetary romance" thing. Without deciding a race or a culture I don't want to get into specifics, but we'll get there.

Step Two is Attributes. Everything starts at 4, and then decisions later in chargen add to that. Plus, I get two more points to add in wherever. I'm gonna go ahead and add them to Passion now. 

Step Three is race, and we've got five choices: Red Martian, Green Martian, Black Martian, Yellow Martian, or Earthling. I know I don't want to be Greed or Red, so let's look at the others. I like the Black Martians, but I don't feel like they're a good fit for this concept. I think I'll go with Yellow, the Okar. They're pretty isolationist, especially at the beginning of the whole saga (when Carter first gets to Mars). Reading their section, they've got a very decadent, late-stage Roman sort of civilization. I think my character fell in love with a Red Martian, but then she got reassigned to some other city. He followed her, but in her own area, among her own people, she's hesitant about being with him. 

OK, cool. As an Okar, I get I add 1 to Cunning and Daring, and then I add one to two of Empathy, Might, and Reason. Oh, Reason and Empathy, please.

Step Four is to select an archetype. I'm thinking Fugitive. Maybe he's never actually done time, but that's kind of the arc I'm thinking. The suggested Talent here is to escape bonds, but I dunno. I think maybe I'll look at the Talents before I make that decision. I do get +2 to Cunning and Passion. 

Actually, yeah, let's look ahead to Talents. Hrm. The Grade 1 Talents don't really fit any better, so y'know, sure, we'll say he did do time. Maybe he broke into a Red Martian base or something to visit his love, got caught, and refused to name her, so they just hung some thefts they hadn't figured out around his neck and he got sent to work off his debt. 

Step Five is a descriptor, and it's not on the damn sheet, blarhg. I'll take Romantic, which adds another +1 to Passion and Empathy.

Step Six is Talents. I get five "grades" of Talents, meaning I could take five 1s, a 2 and three 1s, and so on. I don't particularly care for the 1st listed, so maybe a 2 and a 3? Yes indeed. I'll take Witty Repartee and From Every Chandelier (his homeland has some treacherous terrain, after all). 

Step Seven is Renown and Equipment. I start with 10 Renown to spend, so hang on, gotta look up how to do that. Oh, well, actually, you can spend Renown to buy a title, but I don't really think my guy would have one, so I guess I'd keep the 10 Renown for use during play. 

Step Eight is a Flaw. Basically, if a Flaw comes up in play you can buy it off with Momentum or you'll take some damage (not necessarily physical). There are some examples, but they all have the same mechanics so it wouldn't be hard to make up my own. I don't want to make my guy's Flaw about his love, however, because I don't want her to be a constant presence - her finally getting screen time would be a big deal (and involve celebrity casting!). So I think I'll lean on the fact that he's a fugitive and an Okar, so he's a handy Scapegoat. 

Step Nine is name, details, finishing touches. Let's add up Attribute first. I start with 4 across the board except 6 in Passion. I go up to 5 in Cunning, Daring, Empathy, and Reason from my race, and then 7 in Cunning and 8 in Passion for my Archetype. Descriptor takes me to 9 in Passion and 6 in Empathy.

Name! There's actually some attention paid to naming conventions, all praise great Atheismo. A double l is only present in Okarian names, so I'll use that, I think. My guy's name is Tiris Fell. 

Tiris, typical of his race, has yellow skin and thick black hair. He's grown his beard out since leaving Okar, and he dresses like a Red Martian. Sometimes he'll paint his skin to look a little more red, but really the best he can manage is a burnt orange color so he usually doesn't bother. Tiris carries a hooked sword and straight sword common to his people, but he's by no means expert in their use - he was never an enthusiastic combatant. He is, however, extremely empathetic for an Okarian, and has an amazing, bass singing voice. 

And that's me done! Happy New Year! Care!

Character Creation: Powder Mage

Not the last character of 2021 (I'm gonna do one tomorrow), but close enough. 

The Game: The Powder Mage Roleplaying Game
The Publisher: Brian McClellan, though on DriveThru it's distributed through Gallant Knight
Degree of Familiarity: None with the setting, plenty with the system (Savage Worlds)
Books Required: Powder Mage and some variety of Savage Worlds rulebook

Powder Mage is an oddity for me - I don't normally back or purchase RPGs that are based on an existing property unless I know said property or unless the game is recommended by someone I really trust. I backed the Kickstarter here because, I think (it was several years ago), I was intrigued enough by the premise and I knew the system. 

And like...that reasoning still holds up, more or less. The setting is a fantasy world with a lot of inter-nation conflict and some really interesting takes on magic. The titular powder mages eat gunpowder and then use the magic thus engendered to perform some fire- and firearm-based magic, and that's pretty cool. Likewise, there are more traditional spellcasters, but they explicitly start off with 20 extra XP that they then have to "work off" (meaning you basically start 20 points in the hole). 

There's a lot of stuff I think is interesting in the world, but the setting just did not hook me. And that might be because the adaptation just didn't gel with the SW style of game book, I don't know. The game does a lot I like, I'm just not excited about the world.

Well, let's make a character and see if that changes my mind. I know I want to make a powder mage, because they seem cool. I need to pick a culture to belong to, which gives me some free shit (which I like!), but I'm not sure what would make the most sense for a powder mage (or what the implications would be for one culture over another). So let's read the history again.

Powder-mage-ing is only about 400 years old in-setting, and until fairly recently they weren't exactly well-liked. First recorded one was in Starland, but that doesn't seem especially relevant. More relevant is that they were considered heretical, and then just second-class, and now are somewhat more venerated because of military application. So I guess culture isn't necessarily restrictive here.

Hmm, I kinda like Novi (not just because one of my favorite characters, a huckster I played in Deadlands, had Novy as his surname). Novi citizens pay higher taxes than other nations but they're also better educated and poverty isn't really a thing. They have sorcerers working for the state, but they're used for civic stuff as much as military. It'd be an interesting contrast to have a powder mage, proficient at blowing shit up, to come from a nation that emphasizes humanity and art. 

I don't think Persuasion is a Knowledge skill, though? It's not, it's a separate skill. Whatever, easy fix. I'm gonna decide my other Knowledge skill later, though. Let's look at the powder mage template real quick.

Well, mechanically it's pretty simple. It's an Arcane Background and there's a skill attached, but it's keyed off of Vigor, not Smarts or Spirit. You don't roll to use powder mage powers, you just have to eat gunpowder first. Groovy. Let's conceptualize a little. 

Let's assume my guy was brought up in Novengrad (capital city), and his parents are minor government functionaries. And let's give him a name real quick; we'll call him Ayvars. Ayvars is presently a student at one of the monastic universities in Novi (not easy to work into a group if no one else is in school, but since this is just a chargen exercise it's fine). With that in mind, on to stats! 

I want Spirit and Vigor to be on the higher side, I think. Let's leave Strength at d4, pump everything else to d6, and then put the extra into Vigor. 

Skills! I get 15 points, of course, of course. I'll put a d6 into Ingest (fun fact: At no point does the book say I need to roll on this Skill, so why does it exist?), d6 in Shooting, d4 in Fighting, d4 in Riding, d6 in Notice, d6 in Throwing, d6 in Persuasion (which only costs me 1 because I get a free d4 there), d4 in Stealth and in Taunt, and my last two into Streetwise and Repair. 

Hindrances! I have Pacifist (minor) already, but I can take four more. I get a free Edge for being human, and that's earmarked for Arcane Background. Oh, and that gives me Addiction (gunpowder, minor). Well, I'll also take Anemic (Ayvars is thin, pale, and kind of peaked at the best of times). I'll take Habit (Minor), too. Ayvars constantly crunches on gunpowder. Just a little, not enough to constitute a Powder Point, but just enough for him to taste it (and making a really annoying noise, like crunching coffee grounds). And then for my Major, I'll take Overconfident. It's not that Ayvars is actually super-confident per se, he's just young and has very little sense of his own mortality. 

Neat, I have 4 "points" to throw around. I want to bump Smarts up to d8, so that's 2 of them. And then...oh, heck, let's take Liquid Courage! If I have a stiff drink, my Vigor goes up to d10 and my Toughness increases commensurately. 

Derived traits! Charisma is 0, Pace is 6, Parry is 4, Toughness is 6 (before happy hour, that is). 

Gear - do I care? Not really. I'll spend 150 krana on a flintlock pistol, and I would buy some gunpowder, but there's no cost listed for that. Good thing it's not an important thing to buy or make in-setting! 

ANYWAY. Ayvars is in his late teens, I think. He's a second-year student at a monastery university, meaning he wears robes and dresses much like the other folks. Everyone knows he's a powder mage, and that means he's got time carved into his schedule to practice. He's not really supposed to have or eat gunpowder away from those practice times, but y'know how it is. Ayvars is studying religion and history as well as the basics, and like a lot of Novi folk he's got some affinity for art. In his case, he enjoys drawing on canvas with a solution of gunpowder, oil, and some other ingredients and then setting it ablaze, which forms patterns in the char. He mostly has it worked out so it doesn't burn the canvas up...

Ayvars is tall, even for Novi. He's got red-brown hair and his skin is pale and sallow, but he doesn't look sick, just underfed. His mother's been telling him he's going to fill out since he was about 5. 

That'll do it! Making the character actually warmed me up to the game somewhat. I think I'd run this, if my players were willing to read it and learn the world a little. 

Board Game Twofer: Boggle Master & Inner Cirlce

Surprised it took us this long to get around to playing some of the older games during the disease-times, but here we are. 

The Game(s): Boggle Master & Inner Circle
The Publisher(s): Parker Brothers & Milton Bradley, respectively
Time: 3 minutes for a round of Boggle, maybe 5-10 for a game of Inner Circle
Players: Me and Michelle

Game Play: Boggle Master is pretty well-known. You've got a clear plastic lid over a 5x5 grid and a bunch of plastic letters. You shake 'em up, settle them so they're laying flat, pull off the lid, and now you've got 3 minutes to make all the words you can (minimum 4 letters). Every word with 4 letters is a point, 5 letters is two points, and so on up, but they only count if your opponent didn't come up with them, so it's a race to get both the obvious words to block your opponents and the non-obvious ones to get some points. 

Alphabet waffle, as opposed to alphabet soup

Inner Circle, meanwhile, as a game I hadn't played before. This one consists of a hexagonal plastic base, in which fit four cardboard inserts, each a little smaller than the last. Players start by alternately putting down the little plastic thingies around the outer edge.

A-like so

Each spot has 1-4 dots on it, and once all the thingies are placed, you alternate moving them. But the hitch is, you can only move them a) in a straight line, b) a number of spaces equal to the dots the thingie is one, and c) you can't pick them up to check. If you screw up and pick one up that you can't legally move, fuck you, miss a turn. You're trying to get them to land on the spots with holes to the next level (teal in the above picture)...

...at which point that section is lifted off, leaving behind only the thingies that got to the safe spaces, and the movements begin again. The last section only has one "safe" space, so whoever lands on that is the winner!

Opinions: I like both of these games, but I like Inner Circle more as a board game. Boggle, damn my digital-age eyes, feels like it makes more sense as an app-based video game, while Inner Circle has fiddly bits that actually justify a physical board game (not that you couldn't do it in an app, but it's fun to move the little thingies around). 

Boggle is fine, but it's one of many word games I own and if I'm playing one at a table, there are others I like better. 

Keep? Boggle Master no, Inner Circle yes

Movie #659: The Shadow

The Shadow is a superhero movie starring Alec Baldwin, Penelope Ann Miller, John Lone, Jonathan Winters, Peter Boyle, Ian McKellen, and Tim Curry. It's based on the old radio show and pulp novels starring the titular hero; I used to listen to old recordings of The Shadow a lot.

Lamont Cranston (Baldwin) is living in Tibet as a crime lord and drug dealer, but gets recruited by a mysterious fellow called Tulku (Brady Tsurutani, voiced by Barry Dennen) and taught the secret of clouding others' minds. He returns to New York and settles into the "wealthy playboy" lifestyle, all the while fighting crime as the Shadow. His uncle (Winters), conveniently, is the police commissioner, which means he can employ his powers of hypnosis to keep the cops off his back, but then he runs afoul of a couple of folks he can't so easily control.

The first is Margo Lane (Miller), another socialite who has psychic powers of her own and is immune to Lamont's mental manipulation, and can pick up surface thoughts from him. The other is Shiwan Khan (Lone), a descendant of Genghis Khan and student of the Tulku who forces dudes to commit suicide and/or dress up like Mongol warriors in the middle of New York, which doesn't seem to bother anyone. He has an evil plan, 'cause obviously - specifically using Margo's father (McKellen) to create an atomic bomb. Tim Curry tags along as a henchman with a really inconsistent accent. 

The Shadow is one of several mid-90s attempts to make feature films out of old timey superheroes (see also The Phantom, Rocketeer) and it's kind of the middle, quality-wise. It's pretty well-cast - young Alec Baldwin works as a superhero because he doesn't have to be the muscle-bound type that we get nowadays, and his voice and presence sell as Cranston. Likewise, Miller is weird enough to work as a quasi-psychic Lane. 

I think the biggest problem with the movie is the same one that haunts a lot of mid- or low-tier superhero movies - it's really formulaic, and it doesn't try to lean in to the cool stuff about the character. The Shadow is scary because he's invisible - he laughs from nowhere and taunts criminals, accusing them and making them do stupid shit like shoot each other. Having him pop out of nowhere and punch dudes is perhaps more cinematic, but it also misses why the character is fun. A lot of the old radio plays starring the Shadow having truly horrific elements, and even if you're leaning more towards pulp it would be cool to have some pulp horror and not be quite so tongue in cheek. But, OK, you want to make it about the mental control, that'd be awesome! Except we've got Mongol warriors in armor and atomic bombs, and it just feels a bit of a mess. 

The movie is fun to watch, and the Shadow having a network of informants is a nice touch. Again, though, I wish they'd have done more with that, rather than make a bog-standard superhero gig. 

And like, maybe an endorsement from Blue Coal or...whatever the tire company was (Silverline? Silverstone?).

My Grade: B
Rewatch Value: Medium-high

Next up: The Birds

Atlantis: The Pits

Boy, took a while to get back to this, but worth the wait to see how our heroes escape their bondage!

The characters awaken, separately, in pits. These pits are oubliettes, clearly hewn into stone. Akala, as the only one who can see in the dark, deduces that these pits are used for prisoners, the scrape marks on the sides indicate that people get dragged out on chains. Not wishing to experience this for herself, she settles down and begins to pray. 

The others are similarly proactive. Imani braces herself against the sides of the pit and crab-walks up to the heavy stone lid sealing her in. She tries to move it, but feels magic pushing back. Not sure what the ward might do, so drops back down into the pit and starts hollering to be let out.

Thanos cuts his finger and draws a circle in blood, calling upon the dark arts to summon up something that can tunnel through this rock. He conjures a boar rat, and orders it to start digging. 

A boar rat

Eithne, meanwhile, turns herself into a gecko and, with some difficulty, pushes herself through the ward. She scampers up the wall to get a look at what's going on, and sees dozens of the mindless, eunuch Gallu standing around an underground lake. The air is sweet and floral, and she sees why - this lake is teeming with lotus plants. Eithne looks at the ground and spots several oubliettes, but notes that four of them are warded, and each ward is particular to one of them - Akala, Eithne, Thanos, and Imani.

Akala makes contact with Orunmila, the god of wisdom, and asks for his help. She manages to teleport outside, planning to end up above the city, but instead finds herself on the side of the mountain overlooking the city of Cyrene. It's still dark, and her keen owl eyes spot tunnels leading into the mountain. 

Eithne casts a spell causing some of the lotus plants to burst into flame, distracting some of the Gallu. She leaps down and takes on her true form, and moves the stone lid over Imani's pit, freeing her. Thanos' rat digs into an empty pit, and he has the rat climb the walls and break the lid. The others spot him and help him out.

Akala flies into the room, spots the others climbing out of pits, and swoops around shrieking at the Gallu to keep their attention. Eithne leads the other three out a tunnel, but just her luck, it leads further into the mountain, and straight into a room where six priests of Tanit are preparing for some kind of ritual. At the end of the room, on a throne of rock, sits the many-eyed, many-mouthed demon that captured them! 

Akala, for her part, flies back outside and collects her thoughts. Those lotus are infused with dark magic, and the sacrifice of the heroes - known to be freedom fighters - would imbue them with enough power to conquer a nation. Akala spirals into thoughts of magic and arcane truths, and enters a fugue state.

Inside the mountain, though, the priests and the heroes join in battle! Thanos charges the demon, ordering his boar rat into the fight at his side ("WHERE THE HELL IS MY DOG!"). The demon exhales from all of its mouths, and Thanos stumbles, dizzy, the smell of lotus clouding his mind. He fights through the haze and casts magic at the demon, screaming curses at Tanit, causing the bite wound he's already inflicted to fester and flesh to peel away.

Imani grabs one of the priests and orders him to banish the demon. He stammers that he can't, so she picks him up ("You're useless!") and hits another priest with him. She manages to crack both of their skulls, and they fall dead. 

Eithne sees two of the priests running for the door, and figures they're going for reinforcement. She doesn't want to fight scores of Gallu, so she throws a ward on the entrance. Both priests hit it and bounce off, but one tries to muscle through. Eithne grabs him and yanks him back, and just then, Akala appears in the room.

She just as confused as anyone else, but she's gathered some torches and she hurls them at the priests. One of the priests bursts into flames and falls, burning. Imani charges across the room and drives the demon against the wall. The demon rakes her flesh with its claws and hurls her into the throne, shattering it and knocking her insensate. 

Thanos casts a spell and purges the lotus poison from his mind, and rushes over to help Imani. Eithne slams a priest against a wall with magic, and the two remaining priests rush over to defend the demon. Thanos orders the boar rat to kill the demon, and it leaps on the foul thing, knocking it down. The priests attack it, but are unable to dislodge the rat. Akala lands and lights the demon's robes on fire, and the boar rat backs off.

The demon rises, burning and shrieking, but Imani stands and hurls a big chunk of the throne at it, knocking its head clean off. The surviving priests run down separate hallways, and the heroes are reunited. 

Akala fills them in about magical lotus, and, each lighting a torch, they start back down the tunnel toward the lake and the army of Gallu.

Character Creation: Paranoia Ultraviolet Edition

Happy Boxing Day, citizen. 

The Game: Paranoia Ultraviolet Edition
The Publisher: Mongoose Publishing
Degree of Familiarity: I've played and run an earlier edition, but not this one
Books Required: Just the one

Paranoia has gone through a few incarnations. I played the version from West End Games, and then Mongoose put out another edition that I never read or played, and now here we are. 

The game itself is very much like the version I'm familiar with; I know that a previous Mongoose edition broke game-play styles into Classic (as the game was originally intended) or Straight (taking everything a bit more seriously?) but this is pretty unabashedly Classic, which is what I'd prefer anyway. 

Ultraviolet Edition updates the tech, including allowing the Computer to download stuff into your brain and show retinal displays. The term "commie" is also replaced with "terrorist," which makes sense. Character creation is meant to be a group affair, with people taking positive skill values at the expense of making another player take negative ones, which is very much in-theme. As I have no group, however, I shall have to use the solo chargen rules (usually employed when one has run through all of one's clones and needs to make a new character). 

The game box includes dry-erase character sheets, which is just smart in a game that involves killing off characters frequently (and is why I did something similar with curse the darkness). 

ANYWAY. I need to read the GM book, but I don't need to do that to make a character, so here we go. (And in doing this I realized that I never got or never downloaded the PDFs, DAMMIT. Hope someone is still monitoring the Kickstarter account.)

OK, so. I start out by giving my Troubleshooter a name, a gender, and three adjectives to make up his personality. The name follows the traditional formula of [name]-[clearance]-[sector]-[clone number]. My Troubleshooter is name Hype-R-BOL-1. He's male, and his adjectives are curious, upbeat, and clean. 

Next, I assign Skills. I get to assign values of -5, -4, -3, -2, -1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Everything else gets a 0. 

OK, sure. So what do I want to suck at? OK, let's put the -5 in Intimidate (just far too cheery to be scary). -4 into Throw, because I like the idea of him not being able to hit the broad side of a barn. -3 into Psychology (how do people?), -2 into Demolitions (BOOM), and -1 into Science (boom?). 

On the plus side, I'll put the 5 into Bureaucracy (I do like filling out forms, and these were some doozies!), 4 into Alpha Complex, 3 into Charm, 2 into Engineer, and 1 into Athletics. Guns, Melee, Bluff, Stealth, Operate, and Program all get 0. 

Stats: We total up the number of positive scores in each skill category (1 in Violence, 2 in Brains, 2 in Chutzpah, and 1 in Mechanics), and then shift them one to the right. That gives me Violence 1, Brains 1, Chutzpah 2, Mechanics 2. 

Now I can spend Moxie to increase Skills, but eh. I kinda like the idea of being really well put together, at least initially. I'll stick with my full Moxie score.

Normally the GM would pick one of my adjectives and invert it, but as I have no GM I will risk treason and pick one randomly. Rolling a d3, I get to flip "upbeat" to "downbeat" (though I think "pessimistic" might be a better way to say it). 

And then the GM would give, potentially, a mutant power and/or secret society card. Again, no GM, so let's just do it myself! 

My mutant power is Electroshock - I can release a zap that stuns bots and hurts people. My secret society is Death Leopard! That's actually perfect; DLs are all about finding a good time and then breaking it, and you could do a pretty good lightshow with Electroshock. My character's generally pessimistic attitude means he might be more on the emo side of things, but that's fine. 

And that about does it, actually. I have a red jumpsuit and a red laser, but anything else would be at the Computer's discretion. I like to think that Hype keeps himself so clean because he's actually inclined to let his freak flag fly and his hair stand on end, and he's overcompensating. 

Movie #658: The Seventh Sign

The Seventh Sign is a horror/drama starring Demi Moore, Michael Biehn, Jürgen Prochnow, Manny Jacobs, John Taylor, and Peter Friedman. It is not a Bergman film about Death and chess.

Abby Quinn (Moore) is pregnant after suffering a tragic miscarriage some time ago, and is nearing the end of her term. She and her husband Russell (Biehn) take on a boarder (Prochnow, who we've already seen cracking open sealed scrolls at various points around the world and unleashing Biblical-style doom), and he takes a keen interest in Abby and her baby. Russell, meanwhile, is defending a young man named Jimmy (Taylor) who burned his parents to death for defying "the law of God" - they were brother and sister. 

Meanwhile, a creepy-ass priest (Friedman) is also roaming the world looking into the shit that the Boarder has unleashed, and eventually reveals himself to be Cartaphilus, Pontius Pilate's gatekeeper who struck Jesus and was cursed to wander the Earth until Judgment Day. The Boarder is, then, a new incarnation of Jesus, here to usher in the End Times. Abby's baby being stillborn (born without a soul) will be the titular Seventh Sign, but she agrees to die in order to give said babby a soul, the Hall of Souls is refilled, and evidently God is like "oh, well, shit, as long as this one woman would die for her baby, there's still some good in the world, so yeah, I guess y'all can have an extension." As if a mother being willing to die for her child is fucking unique. 

It's not a bad movie. Moore anchors it, and she brings across Abby's pain and some of the madness she's feeling at recognizing that something weird is happening when no one else will believe her. She and Michael Biehn don't have a heck of a lot of chemistry, which is too bad. Prochnow and Friedman are OK in their roles, but I almost wish they had been switched, with Prochnow as the priest who starts kindly and rational and then fucking crushes a dude to death to keep his secret and Friedman as the unassuming man who turns out to be Jesus, but whatever, the cast is all white so that's annoying too. I do want to mention that Manny Jacobs, as Avi, a young scholar who helps Abby, turns in probably my favorite single performance. 

I've said before that God in horror movies is Cthulhu, and fills the same role in the story - all-powerful, terrifying, inscrutable. It's very much true, here. Much is made of how humanity is fucking up the world, but then God wreaks terror over whole cities, and no one thinks to say "hey, God, you're kind of an asshole about this, how about you help us?" But that's fine, it's a horror movie, and God is the unkillable enemy. 

My Grade: B-
Rewatch Value: Low

Next up: The Shadow

Board Game: Good Puppers

Got a card game about cute doggos for Xmas, so hell yeah we played it right away. 

The Game: Good Puppers
The Publisher: Asmadi Games
Time: 30 minutes or so
Players: Michelle, me, Cael, Kai

Game Play: Everyone gets a hand of cards. Said cards all feature a dog, categorized by an adjective and a breed (so one might have a Loyal Corgi, a Noble Lab, a Playful Pomeranian, and so forth). Each doggo also has a number attached. Everyone chooses a dog from their hand and reveals it at the same time, highest number goes first, and then in turn you play that dog and do its Trick.

Kai contemplating doggos

The "Tricks" are variations on burying bones. See, the back of the cards depict a yard with four numbers on the borders (1, 2, 5, 10). If you bury a bone, you take a card from the deck and put it under the dog with the 1 showing. Some Tricks let you rotate bones, increasing their value, or move bones between groups of dog (dogs are grouped by breed). 

I wound up with a pack of Pomeranians

 

The game continues until the deck runs out, then every group applies a Game End bonus based on breed, highest point total wins. 

Opinions: I don't have anything to complain about, here. It's an adorable little card game about dogs the artwork is lovely and warm, the mechanics are simple, and the game is replayable (which is sometimes the problem with cute games - it's all about cute and not enough about game).

Cael, victorious

Keep? Yep!

Character Creation: Immortal: The Invisible War

Hokay, here we go. 

The Game: Immortal: The Invisible War
The Publisher: Precedence Publishing, now defunct
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: I think just the one, though I might need to find a wiki occasionally too

Immortal was published in 1994 and lordy, it shows. I used to think that Chill 2nd Ed was pretty quintessentially 90s, but Immortal is in its own class. To wit: I couldn't get through it. Like, the prose is so opaque, the ideas so confusingly presented, the jargon so thick, that I couldn't make sense of it (rather, I'm sure I could have if I wanted to take the time to flip back and forth in the book and absorb the lexicon, but I actually have a life). 

The wiki for the game has a quote from a 1996 review that wonders why the game doesn't have a bigger following, but then goes on to say: Swan did have some issue with the task resolution system, which used "jargon-laden rules that border on the incomprehensible." So like, maybe that has something to do with it? Anyway, I've read (and written) a lot of very dense, purple prose for White Wolf books, and this reads like someone read those and thought "wow, this is for kidde-winks, let's really thicken this up!"

Just dropped down a rabbit hole looking for either a pdf of the game or (what I really want) a character sheet for the first edition. See, the game is still supported, kinda-sorta, and there's a third edition available for free download, but I'm buggered if I'm gonna do that. The character sheet is different, though, and I don't have a copy of the 1st ed one (which is the edition of the book I have). I eventually did find one, but had to convert it from a jpg. So we're not off to a great start here.

OK, with a due sense of dread, let's try and make a...whatever characters are called in this game. Persona, I think. 

"This section provides guidance for translating a persona from imagination into the mechanics of the immortal experience." Fuck me. "Your persona is usually based on yourself." Um, no. I'm not a fan of "make yourself" tropes in RPGs, and certainly not in one that takes itself this seriously. 

Reading on, it says that I was alive for thousands of years before I erased my own memory to become one of the "ingenue." There's an introductory player lexicon at the back of the book, but "ingenue" is not in it. The book has an ongoing glossary with two or three terms at the bottom of each page, and "ingenue" is defined there as "any immortal who entered lethe in 1666, and who is currently sought by the Perpetual Society." This goes on and on. Beneath every term, another term appears, to misquote Tennyson. 

ANYWAY. Looking up lethe, it's pretty much what I thought. Immortals enter lethe, shed their powers and memories, and stay there until they wake up (shades of Mummy, here, though of course this came first). Back to chargen. I have 100 "memory motes" to spend on talents and characteristics. Sure. 

Step One is actually "predilection." Oh, it's Nature. Got it. Let's see. 

You know, I think I'll go with Boor. What appeals here is that this game is so up itself, and it'd be interesting to make a character who just calls out the meaningless ceremony and the endless terminology. He's the kind of guy in any zombie movie where they don't say "zombie" who would just yell "they're fucking zombies, OK? That's what they are. Say that, we all know what you mean, let's move on." 

There is no slot for "predilection" on the character sheet. Moving on. 

Step Two is "affiliations." Still no slot on the sheet. Oh, wait, no, there is because this is actually several sub-categories. I need to choose pride, first (which are splats) and calling (which are...I don't know). Let's see what the damn prides are first. 

OK, I hate them all. That's not true. I can see glimmers of interesting ideas in some of them, but man, this game fails the Chupp test so hard. And it's for the same reason as all the other problems with the game - the terminology is so thick that you can't make heads or tails of what's being said without reading everything in the book and taking notes, and I already graduated from college (twice, in fact) so I ain't doing that. 

Well, the two that I think appeal on some level are the Peri and the Morrigan. I don't want the character to be a kid because kids who are Boors hit the wrong notes for what I'm thinking, so fuckit, Morrigan it is. Now I choose a calling; kind of a social splat, my job within the cadre (I think that's the compendium for these characters). I think I'll go with Highbinder; the job is to search out and find immortals still in lethe. I like that the character's role in a cadre wouldn't be "jester" or "whip" (or "Ragabash") or whatever, that's just a side benefit. 

On we go! Characteristics. I have 15 motes of forte. Well, I mean, obviously. Oh, OK. I don't spend these, I just have 15 motes. I can buy more if I want, but eh. Let's leave it for now. Wound boxes, which is determined by the...weight of the character. Fuck me. Well, let's assume my guy is on the chonky side of things, heavier than 250lbs, which gives me 11 light wounds, 4 impairing, 2 severe, 1 crippling, 1 mortal. I'm at himsati tier 1, whatever the fuck that means. Himsati is an animal spirit form kind of thingie. Morrigan have bird himsati, often ravens, but I think mine is a mynah bird. 

Talents and Attentions is next. Let's see here. These things have complexity ranks, and cost more based on how complex they are. So far so good. Because I'm Morrigan, I can buy Wantoness, the Loop, and Prophylaxis cheaper. Let's flip ahead to see what all of that means! 

OK. Talents are skill-type things, attentions are magic, and I dunno about attentions but talents are far too granular. Oy. OK, let's figure this out. I guess I should think about what kinds of things my dude should know how to do. I think I want him to be a standup comedian, good at impressions and storytelling and so on. He can be physically a little sub-par because he's out of shape and, well, fat, but I want him to be socially adept and mentally sharp. Let's see what talents apply. 

Well, Interrogation, maybe? Streetfight, I think, at least a little. Apologetics, since arguing is going to be a thing for him. Double Talk, Oration, Protocol (gotta know it to break it). Oh, hang on, legacies are supernatural thingies, but they're not attentions. God I hate this game. OK, fine, legacies. Well, I want The Loop (which extends spells) and Prophylaxis (which protects me from smoke, not STIs), but Wantoness doesn't look like my jam. Any others?

Oh, wait, there's more skills. Mimicry, Journalism, and Sleuth. OK, let's assign some numbers. I don't think I need to go higher than level 2 or 3 with any of these, so let's do it this way (skill/complexity/level/cost).

Interrogation/3/2/7
Streetfight/2/1/3
Apologetics/3/2/7
Double Talk/3/3/9
Oration/4/2/9
Protocol/3/2/7
The Loop/4/1/7
Prophylaxis/4/2/9
Mimicry/2/4/9
Journalism/3/1/5
Sleuth/3/1/5

That's a total of 77 of my 100 points. I guess I'll leave it for now, but I might have to come back and lower some stuff. 

Attentions, then! Oh, lord, so many goddamn sub-systems. OK, barrelling through. Brio looks good (lets me manipulate emotions, and it's cheaper for Morrigan). Chaos, likewise, lets me screw with luck, and then Incantation lets me do damage by shouting (which I'm sure my character refers to as "Sam Kinison Mode"). All of those are complexity 3 for me, so I'll take Brio at rank 2 (7 points), Chaos at rank 1 (5 points), and Incantation at rank 3 (9 points). That's 21 more points, I've spent 98. Hope I don't need many more!

The book says I may want to choose a "taboo" for the character. Let's see! 

OK, rank one taboos are pretty light, but noticeable. I'll say that when my guy starts talking, there's always a lull in conversation in the room. Like, it doesn't continue, necessarily, but if he says anything longer than a sentence, everyone in the immediate area gets quiet (and usually hears what he says). 

Cool, what's next? Contacts, 20 questions, meh. Nothing else to spend points on, though, so I'll take those last 2 points and bump Chaos up to 2. And now for some description thingie! 

His name is Alfred Cobb. He's been a professional standup for a number of years now, following a journalism major in college. He's never cracked the big time, never really even cracked the medium time, but he's got a fanbase and he opens for successful comedians and all. 

Al is large - nearly 300 pounds. He wears a beard (he often jokes that without it, he looks like a really unfortunate meeting of Stay-puft and Mrs. Potato Head), and he favors great big t-shirts and pants with elastic waistbands. It's amusing to him that his himsati is a mynah bird and not, like, a penguin or a dodo or something. 

Al is aware of the war against the Sanguinary and so on. He just feels like etiquette in the face of life-threatening danger is a waste of time and energy. Fuck the niceties - if something is really trying to kill us, then let's shout it down, call it out, and drive it away! 

OK, good enough, jesus god get back on my shelf you strange strange book. 

Movie #657: Blades of Glory

Blades of Glory is a comedy starring Jon Heder, Will Ferrell, Jenna Fischer, Amy Poehler, Will Arnett, Craig T. Nelson, Nick Swardson, and William Fichtner. 

Jimmy MacElroy (Heder) and Chazz Michael Michaels (Ferrell) are two figure skaters at the top of their game, competing in some not-the-Olympics games that are totally the Olympics. They both win gold by getting tied scores, but immediately get into a brawl, resulting in them being banned from the sport. Some years later, they're both trying to find a life when MacElroy's stalker (Swardson) points out that he's only banned from singles, not doubles, which is a loophole that MacElroy's lawyers somehow missed, and through an incredibly contrived set of circumstances he winds up partnered with Michaels. Michaels, meanwhile, is a drunk, a sex addict, and eking out a living doing children's "on ice" shows.

So it's a buddy movie, kept afloat entirely by Ferrell and Hader's chemistry (which fortunately is substantial). The villains of the piece are the utterly psychotic brother/sister Van Waldenbergs (Poehler and Arnett), kept in the mix when Jimmy and the younger Van Waldenberg sister Katie (Fischer) fall in love. Eventually it all comes down to Jimmy and Ferrell skating for gold, which obviously they win, smiles all round. 

There are comedies that work because, while they might not hold together cohesively, they're made of funny individual gags. There are comedies that work because they tell a story that is funny. Blades of Glory, to me, falls just shy in both categories, but is closer to the former. It's funny enough, it's light and fluffy, and since it's not a Will Ferrell vehicle we don't have to deal with a whole movie of him being mediocre and arrogant. Hader's Jimmy is painfully naive but genuinely sweet, and that's a nice whipped cream to the bitter chocolate that is Ferrell (weird analogy). But the supporting cast is kind of where things fall down.

Well, that's not quite true. The cast is fine. Swardson is wasted on two scenes as Jimmy's obsessed, potentially violent stalker (Jimmy reminds him in one scene that he's got a restraining order against him, and he breezily replies "oh, that old thing"), Nelson is steady as the disgraced coach, and William Fichtner is perfect as the slimy billionaire that buys adopts children with athletic talent to turn into gold medalists. But none of them have arcs. The stalker doesn't get arrested at the last minute or save Jimmy from the Van Waldenbergs in a violent manner, the coach doesn't stand up to the billionaire who fired him after Jimmy won gold, and we never actually see the billionaire again after he kicks Jimmy out of the car on the side of the road following his lifetime ban. Over on the Michaels side of things, we don't really have much in the way of supporting cast, but we do have a lot of really obvious and kinda problematic jokes about sex addiction (after the meeting that Michaels attends, all of the participants are fucking out in the bushes because they're sex addicts get it)...and that's basically it.

So, it's cute, it's funny in places, and it's got some talent attached. But as sometimes happens when you hire funny people and let them riff, they forgot to write a full script.

My Grade: C-
Rewatch Value: Low

Next up: The Seventh Seal

Slipstream: Distraction Dragons

Back to the world of pulpy goodness! Like living in a glass of orange juice! Here's last time!

Our intrepid heroes, their ship armed with the new static burst and they themselves burdened with the knowledge of Stygia, head for the fragment of Dracos. They know only that they are to gaze upon the "queen's beauty," but not get distracted. They aren't quite sure where to go, so they land in the capital city and walk around a bit, looking at the red stone buildings and the river flowing around the palace. 

They wander into a shady area in a blind spot between two buildings, and see a Drascos stumbling towards them, covered in blood. The unfortunate reptile collapses between them, and three more Drascos, all dressed in green and gold robes, emerge, brandishing weapons. "Kill him," snarls one, "and no witnesses!"

Oola, thinking quickly, activates her brand new darkness generator, plunging the area into inky blackness. The Drascos fire lasers wildly, but don't manage to hit anything. Iris moves forward in search of a target, unsuccessfully, but Oola pulls the dying Drascos out of the way and Zeenia moves up to where she believes one of the assailants was. She lashes out with her tentacles and feels a body turn to mush. 

Oola makes telepathic contact with the injured lizard, and he tells her "Central plaza. Ten minutes. They're going to assassinate him!" She tries to help him hold on, but he's too badly injured and expires. Oola drops the darkness, and Zeenia surges forward and smashes the other two Drascos assassins against the wall. 

The heroes don't have much time to rest, though! Oola informs them of the plot to assassinate someone, and they rush to the central plaza. There's a huge crowd of Drascos, all cheering (well, trilling) at an apparent noble or ruler. He's wearing gold robes and glad-handing the crowd, as six guards march in front of him. Those guards are wearing the same green-and-gold as the Drascos the characters just fought, as it happens. A Drascos nearby shouts "There he is! HAIL KING SSORISS!"

Just then, Iris notices the guards all reach menacingly into their robes, and Oola spies that one of them is arming a small bomb! The heroes spring into action! Iris pushes her way through the crowd onto the road, and shouts her battle cry at the guards. Oola makes telepathic contact with the king and shows him the images of the assassins and the bomb, but he freezes up and stays where he is. Zeenia pushes through the crowd on the other side and jumps into the river, swimming toward the palace to get near the king.

One of the guards rushes Iris, but he doesn't quite get to her before he collapses into sleep (thanks to Oola). Iris runs toward the king, but just then the assassin throws the bomb just as Zeenia gets out of the river. She tries, in vain to pick it up and throw it clear of the king and the bystanders (and, like, herself), but her tentacles fail her and it explodes. 

Several of the bystanders are killed, but the king and Zeenia survive (both were wearing armor and the camera shows them being throw backwards, which means they live). Oola runs up and starts working on the king. More guards emerge from the palace, along with medics, but the assassins escape with the fleeing crowd (except for the guy who's asleep, obviously). The medics thank Oola for her help, and the characters are addressed in a rather condescending manner by Lord Ssorak of House Telepathicus. By his robes and bearing, Zeenia guesses him to be a majordomo or prime minister type of person. 

He thanks them for their assistance, and gives Oola a ring that he says is "very valuable" on behalf of his liege. He then takes his leave, which kind of leaves the characters wondering what the hell happened and whether anyone is going to clue them in. One of the head guards tells them that the remaining assassin will be interrogated, and if they need to reach the characters they'll send word to the ship. 

The heroes head back to the ship, and Zeenia gets into her tank to heal up while Oola works on incorporating the mind control ring she obtained into her telepathy rig. Iris does a bit of research on the Drascos people, and learns that their politics are complicated and brutal, stretching back years to before the fragment was part of the Slipstream. Understanding the various factions and machinations is quite difficult at the best of times, which makes everyone feel a little better about how weird this all seems.

Iris and Twoot go out to restock the ship, and while doing so, Iris spots a Primal. She follows it back to an Anathraxan warship, and overhears two Primals talking - the ship is leaving in only a few minutes. Iris spots the ship's name: Queen's Beauty. 

She rushes back to the ship with Twoot, and they make ready to depart. They manage to follow the warship close enough to keep pace, but Iris realizes they won't be able to do that long-term. But then Oola feels a little psychic tickle. She tries to tune it in, and all four of them get blasted by a psionic "scream." 

"HELP ME! PLEASE! THEY ARE DOING TERRIBLE THINGS TO ME! I KNOW ABOUT YOUR MISSION! GET ME OFF THIS SHIP AND I CAN HELP!"

The voice fades, but the characters' course is clear. They accelerate, intending to take on and board an Anathraxan warship.

Board Game: Fantasy Frontier

Cool! They've got a blimp!

The Game: Fantasy Frontier
The Publisher: Gamelyn Games, but they don't seem to be selling it anymore
Time: About an hour
Players: Me, Michelle, Cael

Game Play: Fantasy Frontier is one of the many board games that kinda sat in my closet for a long time because while it looked interesting, it never quite hooked us. But it's got cool meeples, and that's appealing, so we pulled it out yesterday. 

Fantasy Frontier, while the title sounds like an adult toy/book store off an interstate in Wyoming, is actually a worker placement game. Everyone controls an airship with five workers, representative of one of four factions. Each faction has a special little bonus - the one I played, the Skyflower, gets to move one space for free every turn even if they don't assign a worker to be a pilot, which I have to admit I found really helpful. 

Let's be honest, punching out the cardboard tokens is a big part of the fun of a new board game

Every turn, you assign your five workers and then have them do their jobs in order. The order depends on which job; attacking and piloting in phase one, disembarking (to gather resources or build a township) in phase two, research and scouting (allowing you to get new cards or terrain tiles) in phase three. Also, some jobs require more workers. You can blast the ground, removing a terrain tile, but it's three of your five workers. 

Terrain tiles come in one of four flavors (water, mountain, plains, forest), and yield different types of resources. You can only build towns on plains, but the real trick to tile placement is to match map cards. It's just like it sounds, you arrange the tiles to match the pattern on the map and then you get points. 

My game board with my workers at their stations

First player to score 40 victory points wins, and you can score them by attacking opponents, completing maps, or building townships. Building townships is a great way to get points (they're 10 each), but they're resource-heavy and collecting resources takes time. Making maps gets you as many as 7 points in a go, but making maps requires arranging tiles, which requires planning ahead to pick tiles out of the bag, place them, and blast tiles the right order, so it's the kind of strategy that requires keeping multiple balls in the air. Attacking others probably isn't a viable winning strategy, just because a successful attack only scores 1 point, but it also lets you damage an opponent's ship, rendering a given station inoperable until they repair it. You might not be able to win by plinking, but you can sure screw up someone's day by hitting their Blast Ground station on the right turn. 

The rather crazyquilt map

Opinions: I really enjoyed this game. I like worker placement anyway (I don't do write-ups for legacy games, but Charterstone was an amazingly good time), and this combines that strategy element with some Catan-like resource management, and some tile placement. It takes a few turns to see how everything fits together and there are a few rules that aren't especially well explained (or rather, are but aren't explained in quite the right place), but once you figure it out it flows really well.

The only real complaint I have is the size of the tiles. They're small enough that the airships crowd them, and it's hard to put meeples on the tiles (which you're supposed to do when the workers disembark). That's pretty minor, though.

Keep? Yep.

Chill: Return to Kuna Cave

Here is the previous session, and on we go! Back on Zoom, but hopefully just for this month!

The envoys head back to the ranch. Dylan asks Beth Anne to elaborate more on this "Jaworsky" character, and Beth Anne reiterates her adventures with the creature under the bed as a kid. During all of this, she hears him whispering, and she reveals that he agreed to help them with the "copycat", but required a favor of her. He hasn't named it yet, and he's never asked for a favor before. Vicki asks if Jaworsky is a butcher ("don't know, sounds like a butcher's name") and he whispers to Beth Anne that he certainly could be a butcher if that's what she wants. BB points out that making a deal with Unknown creatures is never going to be a good idea, no matter what they might offer, and they really need to make dealing with this thing a priority.

They arrive at the ranch and split up. Melinda helps Dee with dinner, Vicki and Dylan hit the books, Emily cleans and stows their gear, Beth Anne sits in the corner mumbling to herself (actually talking with Jaworsky), and BB introduces Dusty to Sweet Baby Jesus. 

Beth Anne's conversation with Jaworsky is disturbing. He specifies the favor he wants (which I'm not going to put down here because my players read these write-ups), and when Beth Anne balks, he says that she ignores her promise at her peril. And then Beth Anne's mind gets fuzzy - she can't focus or hold a thought in her head. 

Vicki and Dylan dig into folklore. Vicki discovers that "Jaworsky" means "sycamore" or "maple," and is a traditionally Jewish name. Looking further, she finds tales of the dybbuk, a ghost in Jewish mythology that normally possesses young woman (the ghost itself presents male). She points this out to Dylan, who has been trying to find something on the "copycat", but hasn't come up with much. The two of them bring their theories down to dinner, and Vicki notes that a prayer case called a mezuzah might drive off Jaworsky, if he is in fact a dybbuk. Dylan also notes that Jaworsky is behaving differently - asking for favors and so on, so maybe this thing that's been talking to Beth Anne recently isn't Jaworsky, but the copycat? 

The characters are confused and tired, so they head to bed. Dylan wards Beth Anne's room, and she immediately feels clearer. They drift off...

...but then in the middle of the night, Vicki, Dylan, and Melinda wake to hear BB's dog barking his little head off. Vicki enters BB's room and sees him tossing and turning, and blood seeping from a wound on his shoulder. She tries to wake him but can't, and Dylan, not wanting to take chances, raises a Sphere of Protection. BB calms, and Vicki wakes him up easily. 

He explains that he was dreaming that he was back in the church basement, where the envoys got their asses handed to them by a bunch of trolls. In the dream, he's holding Dusty, but Dusty wiggles out of his arms and runs into the dark. He hears something like a nail gun, and then something slashes his tendon and he falls. The trolls surround him with hammers and other tools, and go to work...and then he woke up. 

The cut on his shoulder looks like it's from Dusty; Vicki figures he might have scratched BB trying to wake him. They disinfect the scratch and BB goes to sleep on the couch, and the others go back to bed. But the dreams return - and now Dylan has the dream, too. BB dreams that he goes berserk looking for his dog and fires a shot into the dark, only to see Dylan stumble out with a hole in his throat. He tries to heal him, but a troll bursts out of the wound, and BB wakes screaming.

Likewise, Dylan dreams he's hung upside down in that basement, with the trolls taunting him. There's a gunshot, and then he falls, and stumbles out, and sees BB holding the gun. BB grabs his throat and chokes him, and before he wakes he sees BB's eyes are the same sickly yellow as the trolls'. 

Both of them wake up terrified, but BB is also badly wound. His nose is broken, he has bruises and lacerations all over him, and worst of all he has a hole through his left hand. Emily, hearing the screams, comes into the room, and after ascertaining that there's no immediate threat, dresses the wound. Dylan comes downstairs and after some dry-heaving at all the blood, explains what he saw. 

Beth Anne wakes up, feeling refreshed, but then she hears Jaworsky's voice. He reminds her to complete the favor he wants, or else "more sleepless nights." Beth Anne joins them and tells them that she's not sure what to do - fulfilling the favor might hurt them, not fulfilling it definitely will. 

The envoys talk about all this a bit more, and put in a call to Father Will to see if he knows a rabbi or someone that maybe could make a mezuzah. He agrees to make some calls. At that point Darnell walks in and gives them some news: A family has gone missing up near Kuna Cave, and a young boy reported that he saw a "bear" or a "gorilla" attack them in the caves. The characters remember a case they were on nearly 18 months ago, involving a sasquatch. Is that monster back, hungry for human flesh? Or is it the copycat? 

Either way, this is happening now. The envoys gear up and head out to Kuna Caves (and Beth Anne is quiet on the way, reading something on her phone...). When they get there, they find chaos - media, police, EMTs. A group of cops is getting ready to go into the caves, and a young boy is sitting on an ambulance with a bandage on his head. Beth Anne charms her way over to him and talks to him about what he saw.

He says that he was in the cave, hiking with his parents and his sister, when his mother saw something behind him and screamed. Something hit his head and knocked him down, and everyone ran, but he must have run toward the cave entrance and his family ran back into the cave, where it's colder and darker. He describes the creature - a huge, hairy, thing with sharp white teeth. Beth Anne says she's seen it, too, and she and her friends are there to help.

Vicki scouts around and finds a hole leading into the cave, big enough to wiggle through. Emily, though, decides to follow the cops into the cave - she's not about to let another squad of soldiers die at the hands of the Unknown. BB and Melinda wiggle into the hole, but Vicki gets stuck. It takes them some time to get her free, and then Beth Anne follows, but Dylan panics (he's claustrophobic) and can't bring himself to enter. He heads back around to find Emily, but they've already gone in and the cops guarding the cave entrance turn him away.

In the cave, Emily sticks close behind the cops. The other envoys start heading deeper into the cave. A guttural, echoing snarl sounds, and the cops train their guns on it. The envoys hearing the snarl behind them, and then all of their lights go out.

Emily notes that her flashlight just...stops down a nearby tunnel. She remembers this tactic; the copycat used it to get her to shoot into the den. She calls out to the cops to take cover, and they do (as do the envoys, since they hear her yell). 

At that point, the sasquatch appears behind one of the cops, picks him, digs its claws into his ribs, and pulls, ripping him open. Emily draws a bead and fires, wounding it and knocking it back into the dark. The envoys hears the gunshots and creep through the dark area to find the cops, and Emily desperately trying to save the wounded one's life. She can't, though, and Beth Anne gets through to her by reminding her about Mohammed - this isn't him, and she can't save him.

Emily sobers up and heads off into the dark, toward the sound of a crying child. One of the cops asks BB what the hell is going on, and BB tells him that there's no time for questions - there's something here, it killed a cop, and the envoys know how to fight it. The cop agrees and follows the envoys, but tells BB there's going to be questions later. BB agrees, and the bunch of them head into the dark.

Movie #656: Below

Below is a period horror movie directed by David Twohy (of Pitch Black fame) and starring Bruce Greenwood, Holt McCallany, Jason Flemying, Dexter Morgan, Matthew Davis, Nick Chinlund (in a rare not-villain role), Olivia Williams, and Scott Foley.

In WWII, the USS Tiger Shark is on patrol in the Atlantic. It comes across the flaming wreckage of a hospital ship, and picks up three survivors: a nurse named Claire (Williams), a British soldier named Kingsley (Morgan), and a badly burned German POW (Jonathan Hartman). The commander of the sub, Brice (Greenwood), is accommodating enough at first, but then it becomes clear that a German destroyer is following them and someone seems to be trying to reveal the sub's position. A new ensign, Odell (Davis) tries to remain by the book about the whole affair, but the commander and the two lieutenants, Coors (Foley) and Loomis (McCallany) seem squirrelly and follow Brice's lead. 

So it turns out that Brice assumed command after the actual captain, Winters (Nick Hobbs) died. The circumstances of his death make up the meat of the mystery in the movie, and it turns out it's his ghost that's haunting the sub.

Oh, yeah, it's a ghost story on a submarine. 

Below isn't a perfect movie, but Twohy turns a sub into a haunted house expertly. I always say that the key to a good haunted (whatever) movie is giving us a sense of place, and Below does that - we get a sense of the scale of the sub, the various compartments and who's in them, and then as they die off the effective space shrinks and everyone gets pushed into tighter and tighter quarters. Finally, then the sub surfaces and Brice meets his fate, instead of feeling relief at seeing the sky again, everything just kind of feels exposed.

Standout performances from Greenwood, McCallany (now a bigger deal following Mindhunter), and Williams. I actually really like Chinlund as Chief, mostly because he's a voice of reason and that's kind of a different role for him (see: Billy Bedlam in Con Air). Matthew Davis as Odell is fine as a POV character, though I do find him a little bland. The ghost effects are minimal and therefore contribute to the growing paranoia, and I really enjoy Stumbo's (Flemying) conjecture that everyone on the ship is already dead and at the bottom of the ocean. 

My Grade: A-
Rewatch Value: Medium

Next up: Blades of Glory

Character Creation: Starblazer Adventures

Spaaaaaace! 

The Game: Starblazer Adventure
The Publisher: Cubicle 7, but it's out of print
Degree of Familiarity: None with this game specifically, but it's Fate (kinda)
Books Required: Just the one

 

Starblazer Adventures is based on a comic series that sounds pretty cool, but that I have no familiarity with. It's pulp sci-fi/space opera, though, so that's easy enough to get one's head around. The character creation process seems more reminiscent of the older versions of Dresden and Spirit of the Century. This version, however, uses the take on the Fate rules that you can do if you don't have any Fate dice (like a damn weirdo); roll two six-sided dice and subtract one from the other, giving you a swing of -5 to +5. I mean, sure.

It also gives you a method of doing some of chargen randomly if you don't have a group. So since I don't really have a concept in mind, let's do that, at least to start off. So first I roll for background (that is, where I grew up). 1 gives me...a small village (the saga begins). Quality of life? 1 again, which is "second class citizen." So I'm basically doing OK. Actually, more like Luke than Anakin at this point. Next, background twist! 0, which is "nothing unusual." Allllll right. And at this point, the handy tables to create things just kind of end. For cryin' out loud. 

OK, well, back to the normal chargen section. Oh, wait, there's a random world generator, maybe I can use that to make up my home planet. Ice Dwarf planet...wait, didn't I already make a dude from an ice planet? Try again. Well, I'll just reverse the dice and it comes out to Gas Giant. That's cool, let's continue. We've got an atmosphere incapable of sustaining life by default. We've got a full ring system and a large number of moons. The population is in the hundreds of thousands; small colonies. And then I could roll a bunch of times to determine what skills the planet has, but that's a) dumb and b) time consuming. So.

The planet is called Aqua Vitae, and it is completely incapable of sustaining human life. That's because it's made of a dense, almost soupy matter that causes plants and other small organisms to immediately bloom. Diluted and processes, it's a superfuel that makes farming on even the most lifeless rocks possible. Unprocessed, it makes gut flora and any other bacteria or fungi on the body explode into life, killing a person in seconds. So no one lives on/in Aqua Vitae, but lots of colonies exist on the outlying moons, all designed around traveling to "the Well", scooping up some liquid with big mechanical drones, and then processing it for farming and shipping out to other planets. 

My character's family works in that industry, as do a lot of people on his colony moon of Cade U4 (thank you random name generator!). He basically had the "normal" upbringing for his planet, though let's say his mom worked with the drones that collect "the Goop" and made frequent trips to Aqua Vitae, so my guy's been on such runs, too. His father was/is a schoolteacher. He's got a younger brother and an older sister; his brother is still in school on Cade, and his sister joined whatever the equivalent of the Democratic Order of Planets (DOOP?) is in this setting - Star Corps, there it is. His name is Ren Rubid. 

Characters here can be gritty, standard, or heroic. I'll go with gritty - Ren hasn't been off the colony world that long. That gives me:

OK, so now we're into phases. Phase One is "training," which is where I'd be in academy or otherwise coming into my own. Let's say that for Ren, he got a job with the company his mother worked for, but worked on a different rig (company regs prohibit family members from working the same rig). His rig, the Big Dipper, was crewed by a bunch of guys in Ren's graduating class and overseen by Brix Caesi, a gruff but fatherly figure to all of them. They were on a routine run when an meteor shower tore into the Well, smashing their rig and puncturing Brix' suit. He patched it as best he could and kept all the guys calm until a rescue rig could be dispatched, but he knew he was done for and didn't board. Only Ren saw what happened to him. I get two Aspects from this whole time in Ren's life, so I'll take Crew of the Big Dipper and No Way for a Man to Die. 

Phase two! Ren's first Starblazer Legend! I kind of want to say that Ren and his buds stuck together after the tragedy, but didn't work for the company anymore. In fact, let's say they all discovered that even their minimal exposure has left their bodies...changed. The Legend is: Ren Rubid and The Search for the Black Comet! Synopsis: Ren Rupid and the crew of the Big Dipper know that their days are numbered after coming into contact with the liquid atmosphere of Aqua Vitae. Together, they search for the Black Comet, a strange celestial body made of an isotope that can counteract the effects - but will it leave something worse in its wake?! 

Aspects: "No one dies without my permission!", I Can Race a Comet

Phase three! Guest star! This really requires more players, but whatevs. Let's say that Ren's sister, Rayl, contacts him. There's a group of corrupt Star Corpsmen out on a colony world not dissimilar to the one they grew up on, except it's largely cut off from other worlds due to an asteroid belt so the Corps doesn't really bother with it. As such, the Red Giant Ring runs the world with an iron fist. Rayl can't get the Corps to back her, so she goes with Ren and his chums to clean up the colony! Legend: Rayl Rubid vs. The Red Giant Ring! Synopsis: Left out in the cold by the uncaring higher-ups of the Star Corps, Rayl Rubid has no choice but to call on her reckless but loyal brother Ren and his band of daredevil space jockeys to take on a group of corrupt Corpsmen! 

Aspects: Daredevil Space Jockeys (hey, it works), My Big Sister Needs Me

Cool! Now we're done with phases as I am gritty, and we move on to Skills! I get 15 points, and I've gotta do the standard pyramid. But, since I only have 15 points, I can't really put stuff too high. Let's see what Skills I need for Ren. Oh, god, there are too many. Hokay. I need Starship Piloting, Leadership, Engineering to be decent. I feel like some rating in Starship Engineering (yes, they're separate Skills) and Starship Systems wouldn't go amiss either. Well, I can do six Average Skills, three Fair, and one Good. 

Let's make Leadership my Good. We'll put Engineering, Starship Piloting, and let's say Alertness in Fair. And in Average, let's take Starship Engineering, Starship Systems, Fists, Guns, Survival, and Athletics.

Stunts! I get three. This is old-school Stunts where it's a discrete list rather than a system for making them up. I'll take Bounce Back (I heal quick; side effect of the Aqua Vitae exposure, maybe?), We Need it Now! (I can fix starship stuff on the fly) and...hmm. Kinda want something to represent the crew, but the only stunt I can take that makes sense is Minions and I don't love that. Let's keep looking. 

Erm. No, that's really the best fit. OK, then. 

That's actually it, I think? That's all the steps in chargen, anyway. Man, later Fate incarnations are so much better. 

Well, anyway, Ren Rubid is tall, straight (as in, good posture), black hair, brown eyes. He cuts an imposing figure and he's well aware that leading means making decisions based on the goal, not the sentiment, but he's also a firm believer in Brix' style of leadership: Command respect, don't demand it. See your men as people, not resources. And always remember, if things go badly, you do not have permission to die if your men are still alive and need you. 

That'll do it!

Movie #655: The Serpent & The Rainbow

The Serpent & the Rainbow is a horror movie inspired by the book of the same name, starring Bill Pullman, Cathy Tyson, Conrad Roberts, Zakes Mokae, Paul Winfield, Brent Jennings, and a very young Paul Guilfoyle, and directed by Wes Craven. 

Dennis Alan (Pullman) is an anthropologist who roams the world looking for new and exciting plants that could be turned into best-selling drugs (which would probably make him the villain in a contemporary movie, but this is the 80s). He winds up first in South America where he gets dosed with a hallucinogen and discovers that his spirit animal is a jaguar, which is pretty cool, and then winds up going to Haiti during the Duvalier regime (unwise) to learn about a "zombie powder". His source here is that he's got a death certificate for a fellow named Christophe (Roberts), and then a recent photo of him. Seems a little flimsy to me, but whatever, off he goes!

He winds up meeting with a psychiatrist named Marielle (Tyson) who treated Christophe, and together they go looking for what really happened. This search takes them to graveyards, torture, run-ins with the evil head of the secret police (Mokae), a local hougan (Winfield), and a guy named Mozart (Jennings) who can actually make the zombie powder. Marielle and Dennis wind up together, Dennis is framed for murder and kicked out of Haiti, but then comes back and is almost immediately poisoned with the powder. His jaguar comes through in the clutch, though.

My rather spotty summary aside, it's a good horror movie. The science is junk, obviously (tetrodoxin is now and was then pretty well understood), but the movie does a good job of capturing the feel of a nation on the brink of revolution (hahahahasob). Likewise, while Pullman isn't the first name I'd think of to headline a horror movie, he pulls it off nicely and comes off as vulnerable and out of his depth, though still competent in his field. 

The real star of the movie is Zakes Mokae as Peytraud, though. The first scene he's in, while Marielle is being ridden by Erzulie (boy, that's a sentence that changes if you don't know the context), just has him sitting at a table and tapping a glass with a fork, but he manages to exude so much casual menace that you immediately know he's dangerous. Likewise, Craven spends enough time building him up as a threat and showing that Alan is (rightly) afraid of him that when the tables finally turn it means something.

The end fight where everything gets all magic-y is perhaps a little clumsy, but I'm happy that they didn't fridge Marielle, and I think it's cool that Peytraud's downfall coincides with Duvalier's fleeing Haiti and the subsequent revolution. I also think, however, that this movie could stand a remake with Jordan Peele's involvement somewhere.

My Grade: B+
Rewatch Value: Medium

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