Character Creation: Mercenary Breed

Been a while since I've done a SWADE game.

The Game: Mercenary Breed
The Publisher: Mystical Throne Entertainment
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: I think just the one, but maybe SWADE too, we'll see 

This is one of those Savage Worlds games that has a player's guide and a GM's guide, I think. In any event, there are a bunch of sourcebooks (I got this one in a bundle). It's very pleased with itself for being a "sandbox" setting, based on how many times it uses the word "sandbox." (And now I've got a Too Much Joy song in my head.)

So what's the game? You're in the Argo Galaxy, you're a mercenary working for one or more megacorps, you go out and do mercenary things, sandbox sandbox sandbox. The things that interest me about the game are the bits where you can play as a "gemini" (human, basically, and I have no idea why they're called that - are they all twins?), or one of a bunch of "xeno" cultures, or I think there's a random "make your own alien" system? If there is I'm gonna use it. 

I think I'll use that Too Much Joy song as a theme song. Not sure I've ever used one of their songs before, seems an oversight. They're an Ohio band, need to show some state pride! Anyway, the song is very upbeat and jaunty but it is dark if you check the lyrics. It's about shopping in a mall at Xmas time, but feeling "darkness neverending" and remembering being happy in the titular sandbox as a kid. I'm envisioning a merc character who's made it pay pretty well, is doing OK, surviving, but is bored and depressed and distracted (kind of a Martin Blank sort of vibe). 

That's a pretty good start. First up in chargen, we pick a culture (which replaces Race). I wanna be a random thing! For that I need a deck of cards. Dealing three out, I get 7 Hearts, 6 Diamonds, and 10 Clubs. So what's that mean?

The first card's suit tells me what kind of animal I resemble. Hearts is Avian. Cool, I'm a bird-alien. The value gives me...pointed ears, +2 Notice for sound. Well, birds on Earth don't have external ears, but I'm an alien bird, so that's fine. 

The second card is about "overall physicality." The suit (diamonds) affects strength, the value (6) means I am solid (+1 Toughness; I'm a big bird). 

Last card gives me a special trait. It's a club so that trait is gonna be physical, and it's a 10 so I gain the Alertness Edge (it says "Canine" but that's hardly necessary). 

Now, since I have a total bonus of +3, I need a -1 somewhere. Well, let's say that my people's planet is mostly desert. Water exists but is almost all underground where the temp is cooler. My character's people, the Legara, are stocky and tough, and over time have developed tufts of feathers and cartilage on their heads to help them locate by sound (other creatures call those "ears", I guess). Since he's from a desert planet, we'll say that his race is unsuited to cold environments; he takes a -4 penalty to resist cold damage or effect. 

The Legar are on the tall side by gemini standards, and have downy feathers over the bodies. Their beaks have receded and aren't quite as hooked and sharp as they were in generation's past, but speaking Argosian is still a challenge (though not impossible). Legar have never had wings or been able to fly, and they resent the implication, thanks. 

OK, cool. On to traits! Your basic SWADE arrangement, I get a d4 in everything and 5 points to throw around. I kinda want a higher Vigor or Strength to represent my character's stocky-ness, but maybe that's covered by his racial (er, cultural, even though the culture isn't what you're designing...ah, screw it) bonuses. OK, so let's put 2 into Agility (d8), 1 into everything else except Spirit (representing his generally demoralized state). 

Skills work like they do in SWADE. That is, I get a d4 in Athletics, Common Knowledge, Notice, Persuasion, and Stealth, and then 12 more dice to pump in. Any new ones? Yeah, there's a Xenology skill keyed off Smarts that determines knowledge of alien shit for cultures that aren't part of the Alliance. Don't think my guy needs that. Everything else is just ways in which skills interact with the setting. Also Arcane Backgrounds get replace with Tech Backgrounds, so I can have powerz if I want them, but I'm kinda leaning straight gun-bunny for this guy. As such: 3 points into Shooting, 3 into Fighting, 1 into Stealth, 2 into Athletics, that just leaves 2. Battle seems wise, so I'll sink my last two points there.

Hindrances! Any good ones in the Mercenary Breed book? I kinda like Stargazer - my guy likes to look at stars, but is deathly afraid of space. Given his weakness to cold, I think that tracks. I kinda want something to represent his distracted, unsatisfied vibe, but I don't think Death Wish really works. Let's take Hesitant instead. And I'll also take Thin-Skinned; personal attacks really get under his feathers.

That gives me four points (or "boingles" as they're called in SWADE - look it up, I dare you) to buy traits with. Would I like an Edge? Are there any good ones in the Breed book (sounds wrong)? Eh, not really. Actually I don't see a lot of Edges that are available to Novice characters that I like, so y'know what? We're gonna bump Agility to d10 (2 boingles) and spend the other two to put Fighting and Shooting to d10.  

Languages, we'll assume I'm part of the Alliance so I speak Argosian (the "common" tongue) and Legara, my people's language. Reputation starts at 0, and there's no way to raise that, so sure, whatever.  

Gear I'm gonna skip because it bores me, but if I were playing him I'd buy a gun and a sword or something. 

Derived traits: Parry is 7, Toughness is 6 (including my bonus), Pace is 6, Rep is 0, as mentioned.

Ciks (for 'tis his name) is a Legar, one of the large, solid, bird-like xenos from the planet Sanaran. He's about 6'3", stocky and solid (which surprises gemini, who keep expecting him to have hollow bones for some fucking reason). His body is covered with brown and white feathers, he's got bright yellow eyes and a little beak, but hands with three fingers and an opposable thumb rather than wings ("how many times I gotta tell you assholes I can't fly? Why would you even think that? Can you fly?"). He's kind of a badass in terms of straight-up combat prowess, but he's never really developed much of a style and he's really just going through the motions of late (maybe he had a Rep score and then lost it, if that's how the system works). I'm sure he's only one bad mission away from a corporate review or something, but like, he's just not sure what the hell the point is. Money? Really? He could go back to Sanaran and do just fine. Travel? He hates space, it's too cold. Whatever, what's this job, killing alien bugs, cool, let's do it.

That'll do it! Next up: THE 12 GAMES OF XMAS!

Movie #898: Heavenly Creatures

Heavenly Creatures is a thriller/coming of age/black comedy kind of thing starring Melanie Lynskey, Kate Winslet, Sarah Peirse, Diana Kent, Clive Merrison, Simon O'Connor, and Jed Brophy. It's Peter Jackson's mainstream directorial debut, not to mention the feature film debuts of both Lynskey and Winslet.  

In Christchurch, New Zealand, 1953, young Pauline Rieper (Lynskey) meets fellow high school student Juliet Hulme (Winslet) and they bond over previous illnesses (Pauline had osteomyelitis and Juliet had some kind of respiratory illness). Otherwise they're pretty different; Pauline's folks are working class, Juliet's are rich and English. Juliet's father (Merrison) is the rector of Canterbury University College, her mother (Kent) is a marriage counselor and is beautiful and poised. Meanwhile Pauline's father (O'Connor) is earnest and happy, but her mother (Peirse) is...well, a mom, and they don't get on. 

Juliet and Pauline fall in love, and develop an elaborate fantasy world that wibbles between LARP, religion, and delusion. They write endless chapters in their fantasy/romance novel and talk about getting it published and going to Hollywood, but then things unravel because Juliet's mom bangs one of her clients (Peter Elliott), the Riper's border John (Brophy) falls in love with Pauline (this would be less of a problem if she weren't a) gay and b) 14), and the girls' parents start to realize that maybe these young ladies aren't just gals bein' pals. 

Eventually the scandals in the Hulme household reach critical mass (as a side note, I'd would 100% watch a biopic about the life of Henry Hulme, because not only did this shit happen but he went on to be one of the originators of the atom bomb, a period in his life that's still shrouded in secrecy according to my extensive 30 seconds of research), Juliet's health worsens, and they decide to send her to South Africa and that Pauline is, um, not going along. With the fervor that only teenagers in love can manage, the girls become convinced that if Pauline's mother were no longer a factor that the Hulmes would let her go with her beloved "Deborah" (the girls use names from their novel for each other), Pauline and Juliet bash Pauline's mother's head in with a brick in a stock and then it was an accident.

I said it was a black comedy.

The movie ends at this point, so we only get title cards to tell us what happened next - they were both convicted of murder, served some time in prison, and then were released, on the condition they never meet again. Alas. 

So, this movie got an Oscar nom for screenplay and that's definitely where the strength of the movie lies, along with Lynskey's performance. I think Winslet is overdoing it a little, though in fairness everything in this movie is hugely overwrought, and that's clearly a deliberate choice. The movie's tone on homosexuality, for example, is hilariously overblown to account for the idea of the time that it was a mental illness (a doctor, played by Gilbert Goldie, trying to bring himself to say the word is especially funny). Sarah Peirse is this one bubble of sanity and reality in the movie, and of course she's the one that winds up getting her head bashed in. 

I think it works, though - there's a fantastical but eerie vibe to the movie and then we get to the murder scene and shit gets real as she screams and begs for her life in utter confusion. I like that we get to see that scene, and I like that it's not clean or simple - the murder in real life we just as a brutal. The movie leaves out how the police caught them (it wasn't hard: Pauline wrote down everything in her diaries, and we get to hear excerpts read out in the movie, wherein she describes her plans pretty clearly), and pretty much just ends after the murder so we don't get to see the aftermath. Sitting with it, I think that's better, because that would be entirely too much reality.

Also, if I have a nitpick, it's that the pacing of the movie is a little off. There are scenes that really could have been cut or that go on too long. It's not a long movie, and the fact that it kind of felt long tells me that something could have been cut or shot differently. 

But with that said, it's clearly a great show of talent from three people who would go on to be really important in film, and it's a well-done black comedy, which, as I've said many times, is hard to pull off.

My Grade: B+
Rewatch Value: Medium-low

Next up: Krampus 

Character Creation: Passing (Ashcan)

Completely forgot I had this until I rearranged my bookshelves and found the ashcans for this, Epyllion, The Ward, and others hiding at the end of my PbtA shelf.

The Game: Passing (Ashcan Edition)
The Publisher: Magpie Games
Degree of Familiarity: None, other than with the system
Books Required: Just the one

Some of the Magpie ashcans got turned into real games (Epyllion, Cartel, Pasión de las Pasiones) and some just kinda flopped over and died (The Ward, Crossroads Carnival, Velvet Glove). It happens. Passing is apparently in the latter category; it's in the Clearance section on the Magpie site with all their other misfit toys. No idea if it'll ever be finished, but since Magpie just canceled a Kickstarter that had fully funded because it didn't fund HARD ENOUGH, I kiiiiiinda doubt it.

Anyway, Passing is about aliens who, as the name implies, can pass as human, and how they either assimilate or don't. It's a metaphor for the queer experience, but it's meant to play like spy fiction. I was actually pretty excited when I found it because I always thought the premise was cool, though I'm finding the experience of reading it surprisingly dry. Some of that - most of that, I'm sure - is that the game isn't finished. It's enough to run it, I guess, but there would be a lot of work on the group.

Well, that's all fine, let's make an alien. I have five playbooks to choose from. They're arranged by how they fit in to both alien and human society; the Halfling is a human/alien hybrid so the themes there are whether you're alien enough to be alien (which, if we're metaphorically portraying the queer experience, is something that my fellow bi folks can probably relate to). I like the Hidden, though, someone who stowed away on the first ship to make it to Earth and is an outsider to both alien and human life. 

With that in mind, I get to choose some stuff:

Alien Name: Alien names are sensations or descriptions translated into humanslanguage (we just rewatched Home the other day). There are a bunch of options, but I like "the rivers that dry up when two suns occupy the same place in the planet's sky (River-Dry)."

Look: So if River-Dry drops the human face, what does he look like? There are a bunch of options and I can choose as many as I want. If I were an alien, I'd have all the cool animal options and accessories.  

KTHTHTHTHSP

Ahem. That's probably a bit much (but hey, new sbemail just dropped the other day, that's pretty cool. About robots, though, not aliens). So I'll say River-Dry has golden skin, spines, whiskers, paws, and red eyes. Kind of a cat-porcupine sort of situation. 

And then over on the human side, I'll say my name is Bob Crosby (River-Dry wound up hiding out in a movie theater after he escaped the Ocean-Seeker and they played Road to Rio for a while, so he took his name from the two leads, Bing Crosby and Bob Hope). "Bob" is white, simple clothes, strong jaw, closed stance. The cool thing about the Hidden is that I have multiple human identities, and I can create the others during play as need be. For now I'll leave it at Bob.

Stats aren't something I need to worry about; I start with Human -1 and Alien +1. Those would change in play as I mark one track or the other. 

Backstory gives me some questions to answer:

What issues with Sun-Lost caused you to leave everything behind? Sun-Lost is our home planet. I think River-Dry was a political and philosophical dissident. The beliefs to which he subscribed were radical by Sun-Lost standard, but so mired in the local environment and culture that they're utterly irrelevant on Earth. That's made him something of a nihilist here, because he used to believe so hard and still does, he guesses, but what he believes would be impossible to explain to a human and would get him shunned, at best, by other Sun-Lost natives (second and third-wave Sun-Lost, not as much).

What human has become your source of solace? Bob Hope. River-Dry hasn't missed one of his movies since Road to Rio. (Yes, this is probably meant to be a human that actually is part of the character's life, but who cares, it's not like I'll ever play him. And I think this would work in play anyway, though I'd have to watch some old movies to prep. Aw, shucks.)

What human has divulged a secret to you that might be useful to other sun-searchers? Ooh, let's say that River-Dry does have an established second human identity. He calls himself Lamar (yes, after Hedy; River-Dry went and saw My Favorite Spy, I guess). Lamar is Black; River-Dry made him up because he found himself being pursued by Erads and needed to duck into a building. The building he chose was Nob Hill, one of the oldest gay bars in the country, catering to queer Black men. River-Dry would up spending the night with a man named Corbin. Corbin travels for work and told River-Dry about similar clubs in other cities. 

What do you do to satisfy your alien nature? I don't want to tie everything into movies, so we'll say that River-Dry swims in the Potomac River. River water replenishes him (pool water feels awful to him; it's the equivalent of drinking diet pop. Ew). 

What important space does each identity grant you access to? Well, obviously Lamar grants me access to queer culture and Black culture. Bob, I think, lets me pass unnoticed on the street - he's a nondescript white dude. 

Driving Desire: Something that keeps me motivated and working with the Cell. I think "destruction of Erads" is a good one. I can see River-Dry being capable of aggression (hence the spines).

Moves: I get touch me automatically, which lets me secrete poison. I get one more. I'll take you're being watched, which lets me reveal I was watching another alien all along and roll to see how much of what they were doing I caught.

And that's pretty much it! 

D&D: Happy Reunions

Last time, our heroes ended the horrific, undead existence of Madoc, and then went down a tunnel because it had a pleasant, cool breeze coming from it (and because Zook's augury magic said good things would come of it).

They wind up traveling through this tunnel for days. The first night, Dara casts a goodberry spell to give them all something to eat, and they build a fire. Aisling tells them a story:

"When the world was young and the rivers still cried for the sea, a man tracked down the Salmon of Knowledge, a mystical fish into which all the knowledge of the young world had been poured. He intended to take the fish's knowledge and become king. He found the fish and battled it for days, but in the end, as wise as it was, it was a fish, and the man won. He brought the fish home and gave it to his wife to cook (she questioned why he wanted to be king, but she agreed to clean and cook the fish). As she was cooking it, she burned her thumb on the fish's flesh and instinctively put her thumb in her mouth, and found herself flooded with all the knowledge of the world...and the salmon was just a salmon. Her husband saw that she had taken the knowledge, and was angry. He at some of the fish, but felt no smarter, so she ate the rest. He did not become a king, and she told her to get to work fixing their house. And this is why women have always been smarter than men."

The second day, the adventurers realize that they've left Zook's dog, Maeve, and Dara's donkey, Carrots, back in the village of Salann, but it's too late to go traipsing back through the tunnels. They continue on, and they check their gear. Aisling casts mending to fix the fraying and wear and tear, Clara oils her rope and sharpens her pitons, Zook casts prestidigitation to stay nice and clean, and Dara collects lichen and mushrooms to replenish her herbalism stores. That night, she tells them a story:

"Fallon the Lucky, or Fallon the Cursed, was an adventurer who always avoided misfortune by the skin of his teeth. If an ogre would swing a club, it would miss him. But the people he traveled with always grew to hate him, because the misfortune that missed him would hit them, and so he traveled with many different adventurers. He eventually struck up a close friendship with another adventurer, but that man took an arrow to the throat that was meant for Fallon. After that, Fallon went off into the woods to be alone. No one ever learned the origin of his curse..."

The third day, the adventurers continue on through the tunnels, sometimes sloping up, sometimes down, but always with the mysterious breeze. They pass through a large chamber riddled with stalactites, and move quickly and quietly to avoid vibrations shaking them loose. That night, Clara tells them a story:

"I told you before why if you hear a voice in the darkness calling for help, you shouldn't follow it. That's true of echos, too. If you yell to an echo, make sure it says back what you said. Sometimes it'll change, and it starts off funny or flattering or helpful, but the more you talk to it, the darker it gets. Sometimes it talks people into hurting other people by lying or making them paranoid. Sometimes it talks them into jumping off the cliff towards the echo. Sometimes it just makes you so happy that you stay there and starve or freeze. The only way to be safe is not to talk it, and eventually it'll got away. Maybe a month, maybe a week. I'd wait six months to be sure, myself."

On the fourth day, as they're getting close to camping again, Aisling spots firelight up ahead. She can't see the fire - it's behind the next bend - but she can see the flickers on the wall. Zook sends Edna, his spider-familiar, up to check it out...and an arrow that was jammed into the wall dislodges itself and pins the spider to the floor! She melts away, and Aisling calls out, "hellooo?"

A voice comes back. "Hello?"

"Who's there? We were just passing through."

A pause. "Odd question: Are you a bard?"

"Aye."

"And are you traveling with a halfling, a gnome, and an elf?"

"Who wants to know?"

Belle pokes her head around the corner. "Aisling?"

"BELLE!" Aisling runs up and gives her a kiss, which she stiffly accepts. "Where'd you come from?" She looks around the corner and sees Keenan and Fearg. Keenan lets go of the lead and Maeve goes charging around the corner and tackles Zook. Fearg does much the same to Aisling, picks her up and kisses her. Keenan runs up and hugs Zook, and Dara sees that Carrots is in their camp, too, thoughtfully munching something.

Everyone sits down; Belle points to some rodents she has roasting on a spit ("they're actually pretty tasty"). She then explains how they got here:

"When we left you after what happened in Watershed, I wanted to go home and see my family, so we headed east to Osclaimid, my home village. There was some action there-"

"She's being modest," says Keenan. "It was a huge snake-crocodile kind of thing! It bit Fearg up like crazy, but when we knocked off a head, two more grew in its place! Until we figured out that if I burned it, the heads didn't grow up." 

"How many heads?" asks Zook. 

"Started with two. I think it had six before we finished it," says Fearg.

"Anyway," says Belle. "It was swimming around near my village and stealing people. So we killed it, and I visited with my people, and then we headed north to Cian, figuring maybe we'd catch up with you, but we just missed you. We followed you out to Salann, but missed you there, too. We talked about following you into the Dead Valley, but-"

"Not as many magic-people," says Fearg. "Weren't sure if that was a good idea."

"Right. We waited there for weeks," says Keenan, "and then-"

"Wait, hang on," interrupts Clara. "Weeks? We were only in the Valley a few days!"

The others look at each other. "I don't know," says Belle. "We waited for almost a month, and finally everyone figured you for dead. We remembered that Clara and Aisling were from up north, around Cnoc, so we started heading up there to tell them, and we adopted your animals."

"I'd totally have kept Maeve," says Keenan to Zook, "but I'm glad you're alive!"

The heroes ponder this time-wibble. Clara asks Belle where they are, and she draws a map on the ground. They're a ways north of Salann, in the foothills of the mountains that Clara grew up in. But what's weird is that the other group came from the same direction as the characters, but never passed them. 

Everyone beds down, and Zook (figuring that Aisling and Fearg might be, erm, distracted), tells a story:

"An adventurer named Seamus came up with a plan to slay a dragon that was preying on farmers. He knew a spell called catapult that flung heavy objects, so he cast it on a rock and flung it up, figuring gravity would make it hit even harder. It did, it landed on the dragon and killed it, but it hit so hard that it created a massive crater, and it filled with water and became an inland sea! The farmers had to learn to fish, and the area became a port town."

In the morning, they all pack up and carry on together. And finally, Dara sees light up ahead. 

The tunnel opens to a sharp drop, and beneath them they see a plateau surrounded on all sides by mountains. It's big enough that not even Zook can see across it with his goggles, and the plateau is riddled with rock formations. They decide to explore it - not like they want to try going back. 

Dara casts spider-climb on Carrots and very slowly convinces him to walk down the wall (Carrots is not into it). Clara just jumps and lands in a super-hero pose, and everyone else lowers themselves down on ropes. Aisling notes that there are already pitons sunk into the rock - someone climbed down here before, though it seems like it's been a long time. 

Once everyone has landed (including Carrots), they start looking around. The rock formations are tall and a few feet thick, like walls. In looking about, they find a carving on one of these walls: "ÁDHÚIL WAIT FOR ME”. Aisling figures that it's a few days old, maybe a week, but there's no dust on the ground from a recent carving. 

Belle finds a blood trail - tacky, only a couple of hours old at most. The heroes follow it, and it leads them around a couple of corners into a dead end. Zook, riding Maeve, and Belle round the last corner and see a woman in torn wizard robes, black hair and green eyes, scuffed and bleeding, tied to a tall, stone pillar. All around her, horrible half-human, half-jackal creatures snore. She makes eye contact with Zook, and then screams for help. 

"Might not have been a great idea," mutters the gnome, but the creatures leap to their feet. Clara leaps on top of the wall and fires an arrow at one, but it bounces off its hide. Aisling casts a sleep spell into their midst, but only one falls over. The creatures stare at the adventurers and coo and snarl, and Aisling and Belle collapse into slumber. Dara follows Clara's lead and climbs the wall, and casts an entangle spell around the captive woman, rooting several of the creatures to the spot.

Zook takes a more direct approach - he throws a fireball, angling it so it doesn't hit the woman or Belle's prone body. Half of the creatures are incinerated!

Fearg rushes forward and shakes Aisling awake. "Nice job, Zook!" yells Keenan, and tries to scrabble up the wall, but falls. "Slippery!"

The monsters howl and snap! One pulls Dara off the wall, others surged forward and attack Zook, Dara, and anyone else they can reach with crude bladed weapons. Clara leaps into the fray, but quickly discovers that her fists do nothing against these things. Fearg, likewise, rages, but his war pick can't pierce their skin. Dara, on the other hand, figures that magic might work, and throws a poison spray into one of their snoots. It collapses and dies, changing into a jackal.

Dara moves through the battlefield, poisoning them. One of them puts Clara to sleep and they slice her up a bit, but Zook throws magic missiles at them and Aisling plays her lute and inspires the others. Keenan casts a spell and vaults over the wall, now ten feet tall! He flings firebolts at them, and between poison, fire, and magic, the heroes kill the rest of the creatures.

Clara cuts the woman down, and Aisling asks if she's Ádhúil. She says she is, and Aisling tells her about the carving. She asks if they've seen Eowain, her brother - presumably it was him that made the carving. She says that they are adventurers from Fiadh, but they came from the western badlands and took a tunnel in the foothills that had a weird breeze coming from it ("yeah, sounds about right"). They emerged here, but she's not sure how long they've been here. 

Ádhúil says she needs some rest, but then asks if they can go look for Eowain. Belle and Zook do a quick sweep, but they're wary of getting too far away, since this place apparently plays fast and loose with both time and space. Fearg builds a fire, and they all settle down to rest.

Character Creation: Survival of the Able

The Black Death, but somehow worse.

The Game: Survival of the Able
The Publisher: Accessible Games (they have a website, but it seems to be down)
Degree of Familiarity: I'm passingly familiar with Fudge, but never played this
Books Required: Just the one

So, I'll say this for Survival of the Able, the elevator pitch is nice and simple. It's 1374, the Black Plague is in full swing except it's also the zombie plague, and you and the other PCs live in an almshouse because you're disabled in some way. SURVIVE.

I've had this game for a while. It was originally Kickstarted in 2019 and failed to hit a pretty modest goal, and then relaunched in 2021 and funded (but still failed to meet the goal from the original project). I always thought that was strange. It's by no means a bad concept, and I'd like it'd be the kind of thing that would get attention, especially post-pandemic. But whatever, marketing is hard.

The system is, as the King of Town says, kinda Fudge-y, so it's a little like Fate. No Aspects, though, which to me is the defining Fate comparison. It looks perfectly playable. Do I want to play it? I am not filled with a burning desire to do so, but if I had players who wanted to give it a whirl, I would. 

So let's make a character! 

Fairly simple. So, first, I am to consider my concept. An important part of characters in this game is their disability (right there on the top of the sheet). The pregens include characters who blind, deaf, have PTSD, there's one who's a little person, so "disability" here covers a very broad range. What would be, for want of a better word, fun to play? Ooh, could I play someone with Tourette's? I mean, I know I could, the question is could I simulate it mechanically.

Tourette's gets played for laughs in media a lot, but the truth of the matter is that coprolalia (the yelling obscenities that people tend to associate with it) is pretty rare. Folks with Tourette syndrome have tics, and they vary pretty widely. You can see how having uncontrollable vocalizations or movements during a zombie apocalypse might be a problem, I think (plus, tic disorders have been on my mind of late, since I seem to have developed a tic out of fucking nowhere). 

OK, cool. So, the game is set in "Western Europe," let's throw a dart and say Belgium. My character's name is Cyrille. He's living in the almshouse at 14 after most of the rest of his family died of the plague, including his mom, who protected him from people who made fun of him and/or thought he was possessed or some shit. His tics get worse when he gets scared, which means in this environment he's rarely not ticing. 

Let's move on to develop your Senses. This game has each of the five senses represented by a rating, which given the content of the game is pretty smart. Everything starts at 0, and it has to equal out to 0, meaning if I want better hearing something else has to suffer. Do I wish to raise anything? I think I don't. I think Cyrille's Senses can all be 0. 

Determine your Qualities. There are 5 pairs of Qualities, and each pair has to equal out to 0. I'm not 100% clear on the intended at-the-table use, here. It looks like you'd roll a Quality when you want to take an action that's counterindicated by an instinct? Maybe? It's not explained well, and when you take Actions you're rolling on Skills (presumably if you're trying to sense something you'd roll on a Sense). I get that you might roll on Courageous to face your fears, but would you roll Cowardly to...not face your fears? To run away? And then if you fail, do you have to be brave? 

I don't quite get what we're going for here, but I get the intent in assigning traits, so let's see, how does Cyrille roll?

Courageous/Cowardly. Cyrille is young and up until recently was used to mom protecting him, so let's go Courageous -1/Cowardly +1.

Pious/Wordly. Man, I wish I had some explanation of what these are meant to do in play. Let's just say +1 Pious/-1 Worldly, if only because Cyrille hasn't really seen much.

Energetic/Sluggish. Well, my experience with folks who have Tourette's is that they're often very energetic (Tourette's is often also comorbid with ADHD), so let's swing for the fences and say Energetic +3/Sluggish -3.

Generous/Selfish, let's be boring and leave them at 0. 

And then for Cautious/Reckless, let's go Cautious -2/Reckless +2. Might that get Cyrille eaten? Yes it might.

Design Anxieties and Assurances. These tie into Qualities. They're kind of structured like stunts; when [thing happens] you make a [Quality] roll or take Stress. Assurances are much the same, except you can gain Stress back. 

OK, sure. So what's going to cause Cyrille stress? I feel like he's got some anxiety around being told he's demonic or possessed or something. Should that be Pious? I don't know, the traits aren't explained well enough. Fuck it, we'll say "when Cyrille is told that he's possessed or demonic, make a Fair Pious roll or take 1 Stress." 

One more for major Anxiety. Better do something about the tics, right? "When your tics put you or someone near you in danger, make a Fair Courageous roll or take 2 Stress." 

Assurances work more or less the same way, except they heal Stress. I feel like Cyrille would like to be useful, so how about "when you complete a task that someone asks of you, make a Great Energetic roll to regain 1 stress." And then for my major Assurance, let's go back to the familial/comfort angle and say "when you comfort a younger person in their fear or grief, make a Good Generous roll to regain 2 Stress."

And next, develop your Skills. They all start at 0, and I have 3 free levels to raise them (to a max of +2). What do I wish Cyrille to be good (or, indeed, bad) at? 

Well, I feel like just his youth and generally being able-bodied should give him a bonus in Act/React, so let's put that at +2. Animals probably don't react well to the tics, so let's drop Animal Handling to -1. Explore can get a +1, Hand Signals can get a -1. Intuition can be something Cyrille is good at, so let's put that at +1. Lore and Medicine can both be 0; not something that Cyrille would know about, but not something he'd be necessarily deficient in. That leaves 1 point for Navigate, which is fine. That puts me at net +3, which is what I want.

Last thing would be relationships, but it's just me, so I'll skip that. Like I said, Cyrille is in his mid teens, stringy brown hair, skinny, and pockmarked with acne, which scares the hell out of him because he's afraid they'll turn into buboes. I think Cyrille is probably gonna get eaten, but y'know, that's life.

Movie #897: Conclave

Conclave is, effectively, a political drama starring Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, Carlos Diehz, Lucian Msamati, John Lithgow, Isabella Rossellini and Sergio Castellitto. 

The Pope (Bruno Novelli) is dead, and the Dean of the College of Cardinals, Lawrence (Fiennes), is tapped to run the titular conclave to choose a new one. The frontrunners are Bellini (Tucci), an American progressive; Tremblay (Lithgow), a Canadian moderate; Adeyemi (Msamati) a Nigerian homophobe (sorry, "social conservative"); and Tedesco (Castellitto), a fascist (sorry, "traditionalist"). They also get a last-minute addition of Cardinal Benitez (Diehz), a Mexican cardinal whom the late pope appointed to the Archbishopric of Kabul and kept it a secret because being Catholic in Afghanistan isn't exactly safe.

The movie takes place over three days of the conclave, as support waxes and wanes, Lawrence gets put forward as a possibility when Bellini loses favor, Adeyemi loses support when it is revealed that he fathered a child with a nun 30 years ago, Tremblay loses support when it's revealed that he paid others off to vote for him. It seems to come down to Lawrence and Tedesco, though Benitez has gotten a few votes here and there, and then a series of suicide bombs rocks Europe and damages the Sistine Chapel. Tedesco gives an impassioned speech about how the Muslims are responsible and this is a holy war, and Benitez replies with what is far and away my favorite line in the movie: "With respect, what do you know about war?"

Benitez is elected pope, it's revealed that he's intersex (we'll get to that), the conclave ends, new pope, hurrah!

So, Conclave was an Oscar nominee last year, and was very much a contender for Best Picture (wound up losing to Anora). It has a lot more rewatch value than Best Picture noms often do, though - this is the third time I've seen it - and I was thinking about why that is. I think it's because although it's set amidst a highly religious environment, it's really a political drama and has the same kinds of stakes as, say, The Lion in Winter or similar stories. This particular story is set in a group of people who have to pretend that they don't want the papacy, that it's a burden, but like, these are already-powerful men on the cusp of getting even more power. As Tucci's character Bellini says, there's not a Cardinal alive who hasn't already chosen their pope-name. 

Fiennes turns in an amazing performance as Lawrence (in last year's Oscars post I said he was trying to keep a vastly complex machine from breaking down). He's really good at conveying a lot in his eyes, and in ramping up tension within a scene and then pulling back. On a rewatch, I really love Diehz as Benitez, not just for his Oscar-worthy speech at the end (he didn't get a nom; I kinda think he should have) but also for his scene with Lawrence when he's talking about the turtles, which as I think about mirrors their views of the conclave. Benitez is free to vote as his conscience dictates, while Lawrence is trying to keep things alive and working. 

Oh, right, the intersex thing. Benitez was born with ovaries and a uterus, but didn't know that until he was grown and already a priest (already a Cardinal, I think) when he had his appendix out. He was going to have those organs removed, but then decided against it because he wanted to remain "as God made [him]." I go round and round about whether that detail really needed to be there at all - it doesn't come up until the end and I thought the first time I saw the movie that it was a little tacked-on, like we needed an 11th-hour dramatic turn. Watching it again, there's a line that Benitez has that I think makes it work. Lawrence gives a homily early in the movie where he talks about uncertainty and hopes for a pope that isn't certain, because without uncertainty there's no need for faith (I agree, though for perhaps different reasons that Lawrence intends). Benitez, at the end, says that he knows what it is to exist between certainties, and that brings things nicely full-circle.

Last thing: I fucking love Volker Bertelmann's score. 

My Grade: A
Rewatch Value: High, weirdly 

Next up: Heavenly Creatures  

Marvel: Gargantos Attacks!

PREVIOUSLY ON...THIS GAME: THIS.

Our heroes - Magnus, Spider-Man, Bucky, Natasha, and Yelena - are on a rooftop in Manhattan as something large, loud, and invisible smashes its way towards them! It lashes out! Smash!

Magnus can't see it, but he's good enough at mystical sensing to dodge. Spider-Man relies on his Peter tingle and flips out of the way, and Natasha watches him and rolls the direction he does. Bucky puts up his metal arm and takes the blow, but Yelena gets caught by surprise and knocked backward ("OW, what the hell was that?"). 

Spidey flips a bunch of webs at it to try and make it visible, but it just rips them off. Bucky runs up and punches at it, and Yelena and Natasha both empty their pistols at it (to no effect). Magnus tosses a little blue globe at it and yells "Cover your eyes!", but the creature deflects it and it bursts harmlessly in the sky, making a cloud of blue paint.

Bucky winds up and punches it again, but again can't get a good angle (also his Superhuman Strength is still down). But then a jet of water erupts from behind them! Maria Hill emerges from a stairwell, using the rooftop's firehose (you know, like in Die Hard) and sloshes the thing. It's not visible, but it's Wet, so some dust clings to it and makes hitting it easier. ("Anybody got some glitter?") Magnus pulls an RPG out of his hat and fires it, but the creature deflects it. Natasha, however, fires a widow's bite and the thing glimmers with electricity for a second.

The creature wraps Magnus up in an invisible tentacle. Spidey jumps on it and tries to pull Magnus free, but the thing is too strong. Bucky punches the damn thing again and feels something give, and draws back a metal fist covered in purple goo. Maria cuts the supports on a billboard and drops it on the thing, which crushes it. It flickers and becomes visible:

Like this, but deader

The heroes take a moment and a breath. Maria looks at Bucky and asks if he's going to get back in the box; Bucky replies "no." Maria tenses, Natasha says that they needs his help, and just before things get unpleasant, there's a sizzling sound behind them. A big sparkly circle appears, and a man in blue with a long red cloak steps - nay, floats - out. Maria recognizes him: Dr. Stephen Strange. "I'm afraid I have to agree with Ms. Romanoff here," he says.

He invites everyone through a portal to "someplace safe," but when they step through, they note that Natasha and Yelena have not joined them. Strange mutters something about them having bigger issues, but then launches into an explanation. He introduces himself (Bucky confirms that his name really is "Stephen Strange" and that's not an alias; Maria notes that it makes his publications easy to find) and explains that the creature they fought was an interdimensional errand boy, acting on some powerful being's behalf. He gestures and the heroes see a magical recreation of their battle with the monster, but this time with the creature visible. Occasionally, red, glowing runes appear along its tentacles. "That's witchcraft," he says, "and I've only ever known one witch powerful enough to summon something like this. And she's supposed to be dead."

"You're kidding," says Maria.

"Huh?" says Bucky.

Strange nods. "Wanda Maximoff." 

Magnus rubs his temples. "Does she have like a red motif going? Because something pulled me out of the multiversal between spaces and dropped me here, and it had red glowing eyes."

"That's her," says Strange, "and if she can reach into the multiversal membrane things are worse than I thought."

Strange explains that beings who can physically travel the multiverse are extremely rare ("I've never met one - oh, wait, no, met a five-year-old the other day" says Magnus). Wanda apparently wants Magnus, and it's not hard to deduce that his nigh-unique ability is why. 

"Go back to the 'she's dead' part?" says Spidey.

"Right, sorry. Bit of explanation." A few years ago, he says, Wanda appeared in Sokovia with her brother Pietro, and fought the Avengers as they tried to take down the last of HYDRA. They fell off the grid after that, but then Wanda popped up in Kamar-Taj a little before Strange got there. Unfortunately, she fell in with a zealot named Kaecilius, and the two of them (and Kaecilius' other disciples) tried to bring the Dark Dimension here. Strange stopped them ("with the help of two very talented masters of the mystic arts"), and Wanda was sucked into the Dark Dimension along with the zealots.

"So she's not necessarily dead?" says Maria.

"When last I saw her," says Strange, "it very much looked like 'dead' was the next step. But no, I did not see her die. I don't know how she got out of the Dark Dimension, but it does seem like she's back, and she's after you."

"Yeah, I get that a lot," says Magnus.

"Does what happened with Ingrid have anything to do with this?" asks Maria. "She kind of turned on us and her eyes glowed red."

"Almost certainly," says Strange. "And that reminds me." He gestures, and all four of their eyes flicker blue for a second. They feel a cool, refreshing bath for their minds. Bucky winces. "Warn me before you mess with my brain?"

"I'm trying to keep her from messing with your brain," replies Strange. "Just a prophylactic spell." He also warns them against dimensional travel. "Obviously Wanda has some reach into other realities. I don't know if my protective spell would travel with you if you left this one. I think our best bet is to confront her here." 

Spidey pipes up. "Could you maybe do a spell to keep her from finding Magnus?"

Strange nods. "Alter the Shield of the Seraphim...yes, I think so. I need to do some research. Rest up, look around, and if you go to touch something and your instincts tell you not to...please listen to your instincts."

He leaves. Maria pops a couple of aspirin and chugs some water, still recovering from Natasha's widow bite. Magnus offers to find her a healing salve or something, but she declines. "Don't know you that well."

Spidey goes looking around and touches absolutely everything. Surely that won't have consequences...NEXT TIME!

Movie #896: Bride & Prejudice

Bride & Prejudice is a musical rom-com adaptation of Pride & Prejudice starring Aishwarya Rai, Martin Henderson, Naveen Andrews, Namrata Shirodkar, Daniel Gilles, Nitin Ganatra, Anupam Kher, Nadira Babbar, and Peeya Rai Chowdhary.

The Bakshi family is a supposedly non-rich Indian family living in Amritsar. Chaman (Kher) and Manorama (Babbar) have five daughters, so of course Manorama is trying like crazy to marry them off. Things start looking up when her eldest daughter Jaya (Shirodkar) meets Balraj (Andrews) and the two are immediately smitten. The story really focuses on the second-eldest, Lalita (Rai), however, and her burgeoning relationship with Will Darcy (Henderson), a rich American hotel magnate.

Darcy and Lalita initially dislike each other, Lalita meets Darcy's former chum Wickham (Gilles) and takes a shine to him, Wickham winds up seducing the youngest sister Lakhi (Chowdhary), though "seducing" in this movie is a really tame thing, eventually Darcy apologizes for being a dick and proposes to Lalita, finale, ride on elephants. 

It's basically beat-for-beat Pride & Prejudice. Our Lady Catherine analog, Will's mother Catherine (Martha Mason) doesn't get much screen time and her influence isn't really felt the same way - his sister Georgie (Alexis Bledel) actually moves things along more. But that's fine, we stay anchored on Lalita and her family as they navigate a culture that wants them married yesterday, and adds a Bollywood vibe to the whole thing as people break into song and dance (and, even as someone with no particular appreciation for dance, I have to say the choreography here was impressive). The movie is visually beautiful and colorful, but I like the way it transitions from the vibrant, busy chaos of Amritsar to the bright but boring sameness of the Los Angeles suburbs, with occasional stop-offs in London (which just kinda looks like London). 

Henderson and Gilles do OK. Henderson doesn't really do Darcy justice - he nails the stiff, arrogant bit, but I think goes a bit too far into boring. Gilles is so obviously a scumbag from his first scene that it's amazing that Lalita, who's otherwise pretty sharp, ever saw anything in him (though it makes perfect sense for Lakhi). Babbar as the Bakshi matriarch is perfectly nosy and controlling, but I enjoy that Mr. Bakshi has his daughters' backs. 

I actually enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would, especially as someone who doesn't know much about Bollywood (for instance, it was very confusing to me that couples weren't kissing, which is apparently a no-no). I do like musicals, and the music here is fun and upbeat, but doesn't make the movie drag on forever like some movie musicals (that's mostly adaptations of stage shows, though). 

My Grade: B
Rewatch value: Medium

Next up: Conclave 

Character Creation: Emerald Templars

The only opening lines I can think of involve riffing on "Emerald" with "Fennell", and that's just weird.

The Game: Emerald Templars
The Publisher: Geek Lyfe
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

Emerald Templars is a fantasy RPG that kinda doesn't even rise to the level of "heartbreaker" (which is normally something that includes some cool and original element but is otherwise either subpar or just a D&D clone). It doesn't have anything in particular that made me think "huh, that's new." The system is weird, though not incomprehensible (I might be feeling charitable on that front, though, because I spent yesterday making a Shadowrun 3rd Ed character), and the game really needed some love on the editing front. Lots of passive voice, a goodly number of typos, and there's this weird formatting error where the space after the word "Magi" gets deleted, so there's a mention of "Magior Witch" and I though that was some kind of Witch that I'd missed.

And yet...it has some charm. It was clearly made with some love, and unlike a lot of the small-press fantasy RPGs I read, this was made by a team of people rather than one dude. There's advantage to tight focus, but there's also advantage in a diverse team of voices, which is kinda what we get here.

Anyway, the setting is pretty simple: There were Old Gods, they created young gods, there was a god rebellion, the Old Gods and a few loyalist gods got locked away, humanity (well, there are a bunch of non-human species) has had problems with Chaos Magic and it used to be that Emerald Templars were protectors for that kind of thing, but nowadays most governments can handle it so the Templars are more community-service or ceremonial...but the magic is getting worse! (Dramatic music sting.)

So let's make a Templar! One thing I like is that there's some attention paid to how one gets recruited, and it basically cooks down: You volunteer, you get voluntold (a few firstborn of every generation have to join), or you choose a Templar's life over going to prison/getting exiled. I think I prefer the first, so we'll start the chargen process from that jumping-off point. Chargen is an 11-step process, but it's never summarize on one page, sadly. It is, however, all gathered together in a chapter rather than spread out through the book, so good form. (Also the PDF is bookmarked, though the chapters are listed bottom-to-top, which I've seen before and I have to assume is a formatting error or something.)

Stage One: Age. I can young, middle-aged (you mean adult, ffs?) or elder. Hmm. I dunno, really. Well, if I'm a volunteer that implies not elder (I could make it work, but eh). I think I'll go with young.

I was worried when I saw the %s and such low numbers, but it actually looks pretty forgiving (if weird). Basically, you roll a d10 to set the 10s place of your roll, then add the appropriate Attribute and Skill together as the 1s place. So if my Attribute + Skill total is 4, and I roll a 5 on the d10, I've rolled 54, which is then compared to a difficulty. It does seem a little swingy in the way that single-die rolls often are, but the fact that I can explain it from memory puts it light years ahead of a lot of other games I've read.

Anywho, Stage Two: Distribute Attribute Points. As a yute (oh, sorry, YOOOOTHE) I get 26 points to split up, they have to be in increments of 2, and I can't go over 12. Our six Attributes are Agility, Awareness, Influence, Intellect, Strength, and Will, or AAIIWS for short. I get little bonuses at 6, 8, and 12, too.

Well, I could put 4 in each one and have 2 points left over, if I wanted to be an all-rounder. Let's assume I don't, however. I kinda want to play a magic-user of some kind, so assume I want to be a Magi, I should bump up Intellect and Will. If I put Intellect at 8 and Will at 6, that would leave me 10 for the other four Attributes. Hrm. I guess I could go 2s across the board and put the extra 2 into Awareness? Sure, we'll try that.

Stage Three: Stress Meters. Every Stress Meter (there are 5 different ones) starts at 30, and then gets modified by the Attribute(s) linked to it. So:

My Agility, Influence, and Strength are all 2, so there's no bonus from them. My Awareness is 4, which gives me a +5 to Anxiety and Lucidity Stress (35 each). My mighty Intellect gives a +15 to Anger and Lucidity, which makes Anger 45 and Lucidity 50. And my Will gives me a +10 to my choice of Lucidity, Anger, or Physical. Um, Physical, please, I need some help there. So in the final analysis:

Physical 40
Exhaustion 30
Anxiety 35
Lucidity 50
Anger 30

Stage Four: Skillz. As a Young Parson who eats their yogurt from a tube, I get 4 points to spend in Skills in sets of 2, which means I can bump two Skills up by 2. Do I have a starting rating? I don't seem to. Well, the temptation is to put all 4 into Focus, since that's the spellcasting skill, but I think I'd like to diversify a little, so let's put 2 in Focus and 2 in Charm (I'm not naturally anything special in the social arena, which might explain why he's put some effort into faking it).

Step Five: Tradeskills. Same principle, just more focused on professional stuff, and again, I get 4 points (rather, 2 sets of 2). I think I'll take Therapist and Kennel Master and say that my guy's family breeds and trains therapy animals (there's a whole system for them and how they reduce stress). 

Step Six: Vices. Pobody's nerfect, but your flaws can help in certain circumstances. The Vices are actually the Seven Deadly Sins (I mean, sure, World of Darkness 2004 did the same thing initially), I get 20 to split up in increments of 2, and I can't go over 8 in any one so no just dumping everything into Lust and being Super Horny. 

Well, my guy is young, and so Lust actually does make sense, so I'll put 8 there. 12 left, so let's put 6 in Envy and 6 in Pride. 

Step Seven: Pick a Heritage. Here's where it really starts to get fun (I almost think this should have been first, but whatever). I'm picking a species here, and sure, we have a few standards (human, goblin, orc) but also oni, kitsune, and risen (someone who was raised from the dead as a sort of zombie). 

You know, maybe it's just the artwork, but I kinda want to make an orc:

Dawwww

Well, this is weird. No slot for Heritage on the sheet. Oh, no, wait, it's on the second page. I might have to print out at least that one. There's another one for spells. I have to say, though, the sheet design is pretty clean and it's easy to find stuff once you know where to look.

Stage Eight: Pick Culture. Where ya from? I think I want my orc to be from Sanamana, more specifically the city of Khawab-al-Deyo. The city has a bad relationship with the Emerald Templars, partially because they embrace chaos magic, but in my character's case I think what happened was that a group of them was invited in to contain a situation that the locals couldn't (they hate doing that, but it does happen). My character had served on the Adaalat (a council of elected officials from various stages of life meant to mediate conflict) and isn't so vehemently opposed to the Templars, and wound up joining up as his time on the council was coming to an end anyway (when you age out of your cohort, you leave the council rather than just joining the next one up). 

Being from Sanamana, I get a +2 to Daunt and I take half damage from the Poisoned/Venomed Condition.

Stage Nine: Class & Subclass. Well, I already know I want to be a Magi, but what subclass? Well, first of all, I get to bump Focus or Perform by 2. I think I'll put it into Focus, I don't see this guy as much of a performer. I also get 2 Spells, but I'll worry about that momentarily. 

My subclass options are Chronomancy, Necromancy, Astromancy, and Elemancy. Man, I'm so tempted by Necromancy. Does it make sense for this guy? I actually think Astromancy might be better. Sure, staring into the cosmos is risky, but for someone who grew up around other people's trauma, I can see how he might have come across someone who was exposed to cosmic shit and needed a puppy. 

I get Trick of the Light (I can create illusory duplicates that add to my Defense Value) and Cosmic Understanding (I don't get Anxiety from witnessing cosmic events or creatures). 

Two Spells! I'll take Alter Gravity (let's me speed up or slow down targets in an area) and Tongue of Another World (I speak to someone in a cosmic tongue that inflicts damage, but the next spell they cast goes Chaos. Nothing says I couldn't whisper to myself!).  

Stage Ten: Equipment. OK, fine. I get a basic weapon and a shield or two basic weapons, let's start there. I'll take a Talwar (basically a saber with a knuckle bow, but useful for disarming) and a rungu (lightweight throwing club). I get a choice of various kinds of armor. I can wear armor, but it has to be light. Agbada it is, then. 2d6 monies (no, really, that's what the currency is)...3. Great. And a small backpack.

Stage Eleven: Knacks. I get an upbringing Knack and a standard Knack. For my upbringing Knack, I'll take...hmm. Therapist's Child makes sense, but I think I'll take Political Child to reflect his time with the Adaalat. That increases Influence by 2 and Perform or Charm by 2. Again, not a performer, so Charm. 

For my general Knack, I'll take Beloved by Nature. I get a bonus on non-hostile interactions with animals and plants.

Stage Twelve: Hindrance. Yeah, I know, I thought it was 11 stages, too, but then there's this one! But it's also misspelled as "Hinderance", so what the hey. I get to roll a d12 for this, if it sucks I can reroll once. I think I'll just roll 2d12 and pick which one I like better. 2 and 4 gives me a choice between Quick to Anger (all Anger Stress is doubled) or Realm Sensitivity (all Lucidity Stress is doubled). Well, the latter makes more sense, though I don't think it'd be a good gameplay strategy, but fortunately I won't actually be playing this guy. 

The unofficial thirteenth step can be to reconcile all of this, so I wind up with:

Agility 2
Awareness 4
Influence 4
Intellect 8
Strength 2
Will 6

Only one that went up was Influence, does that change Stress? Yes, it bumps Anger and Anxiety by 5. So that leaves me with:

Physical 40
Exhaustion 30
Anxiety 40
Lucidity 50
Anger 35

Skills, I get Therapist 2, Kennel Master 2, Focus 4, Charm 4, Daunt 2.

Yep, I think that's everything. So! Marwak the Orc grew up in Khawab-al-Deyo, and was elected to the Adaalat at age 10. His family breeds dogs for use as therapy dogs, and Marwak was known as an orc with an even temper and a kind heart. As he got older, his interest drifted away from kenneling and more towards cosmic spellcasting, and by the time he turned 20 he was well and truly ready to leave town. That was the year that the Emerald Templars came to town, and Marwak wound up chatting with an oni Magi who convinced him that it'd be worth getting out of town. Figuring that since he only had a few more years till he'd be off the Adaalat anyway, he volunteered for duty.

Marwak is about 6'2", so medium height for an orc. His skin was sky blue when he was a kid, but it's deepened to a kind of teal now. His tusks are still pretty puny, though (his dad tells him not to worry, his came in late, too).  

Tidal Blades: Majestic Time Flap-Flap

Last night we returned the watery world of Naviri. Kind of appropriate, since I just got my copies of Blue Planet: Recontact the other day. Anyway, here's last time. 

Our wet heroes (sounds bad) are out on the water. Two of them are, anyway (Faesli and Sobek). Two, Hobie and Bait, are in the water, trying to figure out what's up with this strange fissure that seems to have wibbly time effects. 

Up on the surface, Sobek watches the boat they saw before, containing a turtle, a croc, a tyro, and a magnafron. He decides to swim over and eavesdrop, and Faesli distorts his image a bit to make him more stealthy. He swims over, quietly, and listens. He hears them talking about this "operation" being very lucrative, and hoping they can join it. The croc expresses concerns for "the people living here," and the maganfron replies "it's a big ocean."

Meanwhile, Faesli tries her hand at fishing and manages to catch a couple of nice big ones! They're beautifully iridescent, and she asks Lowery (one of Bait's dads and the chef of the ship) whether that's a problem. He says it's not, it's just the scales and he's gonna take them off anyway. Lowery heads to the kitchen to start dinner, and Faesli notes Sobek swimming back. He reports what he heard, and Faseli agrees that doesn't sound good.

Down in the water, Hobie peers deeply into the fissure and figures that it's michronic in nature. They swim up to retrieve Faesli and Sobek, figuring Faesli probably knows more about this michronic stuff (fun fact: Faesli actually has an inability in michronic tech, but she does magicky stuff so it's an easy guess that she'd be the one to ask). Faesli and Sobek accompany Hobie back down, and Faesli does her best. 

She starts by scanning it, and learns that it's more like anti-michronic. Michronic tech works on intent, and this fissure just saps that away. If you went in, you wouldn't have the intent to form intent. Faesli relates this, but can't resist poking her finger into it.

Something makes sudden, violent contact with her mind: The bipeds are coming. They're going to grind this whole reef down into powder. Faesli finds herself stuck, unable to move or form intent to move, but the thoughts use her as a loudspeaker and suddenly all of the mantis shrimp above them descend, clearly ready to punch.

Garnet tries to stop them, but they don't listen to her. Sobek puts himself in front of Hobie and Hobie desperately tries to calm them down, but they swarm around those two and up to Faesli, and punch her repeatedly. This does have the effect of pushing her away from the fissure so she can function again, but it's painful. Bait, meanwhile, just tries to swim away, but in this case "away" means "down." He gets away from the shrimps, but sees a beautiful, bobbing light coming towards him.

Just as the last minute, he sees the fangs attached to said light, and swims as fast as his little blobby body can take him. He swims back up, past the depths where the deep-sea fangly fish can follow, and by now Hobie has managed to calm things down. 

The four of them decide to swim up and have some fish stew and talk this through. They hit on a brilliant idea - suppose they get some of that time-oil from Bol, and put that on or near the fissure? Would the michrons and anti-michrons cancel each other out, leaving a neutral state? Sobek also tells them about what he heard, but they decide to deal with the fissure first. 

They all sail back to Angler's Cove, and head to Bol's Oils. There's a "CLOSED FOR RENOVATION" sign out front, but they can see Bol puttering around inside, doing repairs. She invites them in and they explain their plan and she nods and says the area becoming neutral is a logical conclusion. Of course, it might also explode or throw them all somewhen else or any number of other things. Anyway, she sells them a bit cylinder with a plunger and some time-oil. 

They decide to get some sleep and resupply before going back out. They bed down in the ship, and in the morning head to a general store run by a human and his daughter. Faesli purchases some sundries (salt, tapioca flour, and so on), and asks the man about what kind of "operation" might happen out at the reef.

He says that although coral mining is illegal, there are a few groups that do it - it's not like the Citadel has a lot of reach out here. Faesli presses and describes the people on the boat, and the man looks a little taken aback. He writes them a receipt for their purchases and tells his daughter to help them get their stuff to their boat. Outside, Faesli checks the paper: "Angler." 

Faesli is perplexed for a minute, but Sobek fills in the blank. "As in 'Angler's Cove.'" 

"Oh, that's not good." 

They decide that maybe Angler will listen to reason? Anyway, they want to address this fissure thing first. 

The group heads back out and dives back down, and Bait spurts time oil into the fissure. There's a sudden rumble, and then the fissure splits, opening like an immense Pez dispenser. Blue light wells up, and suddenly the characters (and all the shrimps!) find themselves being carried away. The ground feels fleshy and only partly solid, and once they get their bearings, they see immense wing-tips out to either side.

Only much, much bigger

The characters are awed and fascinated, but quickly come to the conclusion that they'd better get off. They disembark and take the shrimp with them, and the creature "flies" out to deeper waters, passing through the ground and any other solid object as necessary.

Hobie looks around and realizes they've lost Garnet, and there's a moment of panic, but then the others find her snuggling up with a larger mantis shrimp. Hobie asks "is this your mama?" and Garnet confirms it!

Hobie is thrilled and wants to give Garnet a little time with her mom. They all swim back to the ship and decide to hang out here for a while. They want to talk to some of the Bright Reef locals, too, and see if they learn why Angler is so gung-ho to mine this place.

Character Creation: Terrors & Tommyguns

Nya(tharlotp), see? 

The Game: Terrors & Tommyguns
The Publisher: Drinking Horn Games (not that there's much on that site) 
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

It's a good premise, I think - noir mixed with cosmic horror. The tone of the book is a lot goofier than that; the writing is very chummy and goes into first person a lot. The writer tells us about why he did certain things in the game and talks about the company's first game (Sagas of Midgard, which I don't own) quite a bit. There are more than a few editing mistakes, often of this "this header is in normal text" variety.

But y'know? I enjoyed reading it. The fiction isn't great literature, but cosmic horror and detective fiction both have rich pulp history, so it doesn't need to be. Unlike, say, Phantasm trying to be "grindhouse" without actually knowing what that word means, Terrors & Tommyguns embraces the tropes of its source material pretty well. (Less so the cosmic horror, I guess, because the setting is functionally New York City and not Arkham or something like it.)

There's a setting, there's a framework for characters, it's a little simplistic, but you wouldn't have to use it (much like you don't have to use SAVE in Chill, actually, but I think it's nice to have it there for a jumping-off point, no matter how much Cryptworld evangelists like to whine). Would I run it? I think I would. The system looks weird (you count up assets and liabilities, each one moves you up or down a step on a table, you roll the dice associated with the step you land on and try to get over a target number - it's fine, it just seems a little arbitrary), but it's miles from my limit of system weirdness.

Let's make a character! Simple 8-step process. 

Step 1: Get a Job, Ya Bum. (Like I said, chummy.) I actually have a concept I want to play with. Behold, "The Kid's Last Fight" by the Statler Brothers:

So in the song, "Kid McCoy" wins a prize fight against Tiger Wells, but then dies from fever (presumably from a combination of exhaustion and getting his brains beat in). I want to play Tiger, basically, but I'm not gonna use the name. Let's call him Wilmer Cullin; they used to call him "Killer Cullin" but that kinda lost his shine when an opponent of his actually died. McCallum, the opponent in question, fought Cullin to a standstill and Cullin trash-talked him a bit to get him riled, but it worked too well and McCallum threw caution to the wind and walked right into a haymaker. McCallum was also hiding a high fever, and died on the mat. 

Cullin had a couple of fights after that, but he was pulling punches and it showed. If he ever had a shot, he doesn't now. 

Anyway, "Prize Fighter" is one of the jobs, so I'ma take that. That gives me +2 Vim, +4 Vigor, -1 Moxie, and "The Ol' 1-2" as a Talent. 

Step Two: Spend points. I get 50 Character Points with which to buy Talents & Skills. They cost 5 + the rank, so rank 2 would cost 7, but...hm. Do I have to buy all the levels, or just the one I want? If I want rank 3 in a Skill, do I pay 8, or do I have spend 6 + 7 + 8? That seems extreme, but that's the way I read it. That sucks bricks, actually, but whatever, let's do this.

Skills are grouped by Attribute, so let's start with Vim. Driving and Grappling both seem like they'd make sense, but that'd eat 12 points right there. Let's assume just 1 in Grappling for now (6 points) and move on to Vigor, which is where the bulk of my points will go, I'm sure. 

Yup. Striking, Feats of Strength, and Endurance are all Skills I want Wilmer to have. Let's see, putting a Skill at 3 would cost nearly half my points. Let's say Striking and Endurance at 2, Feats of Strength at 1? That's 38 spent. 

12 left. Blah. Y'know, this is annoying. Intimidation makes sense, but it's a Moxie Skill, so I'd be in the hole already if I use it. (It should be based on Vigor, I think, but it's traditionally a social skill, so I won't fault the writers.) Talents cost 5 points each, but if I buy a talent, I have 7 left. I could use that to buy a Skill at 1 or bump something to 2. 

Well, I want Cover Up, Kid (defensive boxing, basically) as a Talent, and I guess I'll spend the rest to bump Grappling up to 2. I have 5 points in Vigor Skills, which raises my Vigor to +5, so that's cool. 

Step Three: Scars. I get one automatically and I can take up to 2 more for 5 CP each. I might just do that; there are a bunch of Talents that would make sense for Wilmer. First thing's first, let's pick my initial Scar. Normally I'd roll randomly, but I think I've got a decent sense of this character, so I'll take Insomnia (arising from guilt for killing a dude). And then because I want some more Talents, I'll also take Impetuous and Nervous Tic (hands shaking). (These have a slot on the back of the sheet, but that's mostly not stuff I need to fill out so just pretend it's there.)

Anyway, with 10 more points, I'll buy Double Jab and Do You Even Lift?

Step 4: Heirloom Tomato Item. Let's say it's a nickel. Wilmer got the nickel for his first fight (he lost). He never spent it out of superstition. What Skill should it boost? How about Deduction? Not something Wilmer's likely to roll much, but flipping the nickel helps him focus.

Step 5: Spend money. Nah.

Step 6: Incantation. If I'm a member of the Collective (the default PC organization) I'd start with one, but y'know? I think Wilmer isn't much for magic. I'll say he doesn't have one.

Step 7: Gain a use of Improv. That's like having Inspiration in D&D, so, cool, I have it.

Step 8: Finish up. Well, I have Exhaustion 9, Lunacy 1 (oh, dear) and Mortal 8, all based on Attributes. Otherwise, I think that's it, because I cannot figure this character sheet out. Really badly designed, which, I had to say, kinda puts the nail in the coffin of running this game because I don't feel like redesigning it. C'est la vie.

Anyhow, Wilmer is (now) in his early 30s, still buff, still works out, still shadowboxes, but really would rather not hit you (which is one reason he's not intimidating). Balding, brown hair, brown eyes, cauliflower ear, scar on his lip from where it split. 

That'll do it!

D&D: The Fall of Madoc's Keep

At last, our heroes escape from the lair of the undead! 

Now, what's the quickest way home? Back through the cave?

Here's last time.

Our aforementioned heroes have camped for the night(?) in the Bone Organ room (that sounds worse than it is, maybe). After they've rested, they talked through their options. 

They know the room with the marshy pools of corpses on chains has a couple of exits that lead deeper into the keep, but they also know there's a hallway off the junkpile room that probably leads closer to the beginning. There was a room with three ghosts arguing that they never entered (because at the time they didn't feel like fighting more ghosts). 

After talking it over, Zook uses his augury spell to see what happens if they go back rather than deeper. He sees flickering images in his keek-stane, but hears voices talking over each other. He realizes that if he focuses, though, there's one voice that becomes clearer and he figures that voice might have something important to say. 

That's good enough for the party - they head south, through the junkpile, and back west into the ghost room.

The three ghosts - Conor, Finn, and Sean - are arguing endlessly. Conor insists that Finn killed him with an ax, and so he didn't see what happened to Sean. Finn says he killed Conor with a sword in self-defense, because Conor had just killed Sean with an ax, but he has no idea how Conor died. And Sean insists that the other two ganged up on him and beat him to death with clubs.

The ghosts continually argue these three mutually exclusive points of view, as they clearly have been for years ("I've no language left to say it!" says Conor in exasperation at one point). But the characters talk them through it and Aisling eventually gets them to consider that maybe there was an outside cause of their deaths. They remember that they died near a pub in Cian. Clara realizes that the clothes they're wearing (spectrally speaking) are well-made, but not the kinds of fashion she saw in Cian. Aisling asks who the current Monarch is; they think it's King Auric. Aisling realizes that they died close to 40 years ago.

When she points that out, the scales start to fall away. The ghosts remember that the adventurers killed them - not literally them, but people like them. Why? "Well, it's a bit embarrassing," says Finn. "We were what you'd call scoundrels." "Highwaymen." "Bandits." 

Zook notes that it's far too late to scold them for their activities in life. The ghosts remember that they died, and Madoc brought them here and took out their spines to make his bone organ. The heroes ask if taking that thing apart would make it easier for them to pass on, but none of them much care; they aren't attached to their spines anymore. They start to fade away. The adventurers have time to ask about Madoc, and they tell them that Madoc dwells in the bottom of the keep, and he has some kind of invisible servitor bodyguard working for him (which they've never see, because...obviously). Finn is the last one to fade, and before he does, he tells them that Madoc sometimes talks to someone he calls "the Lord of the Dead."

Dara, the closest thing to a religious expert the party has, thinks about this. There's not a specific deity of death in Abhaile; the people don't really worship gods directly very much, and to the extent they talk to "Death" it tends to be in a defiant "Not today!" kind of way. Might he be referring to Orcus? Possible, though he's not referred to by that title in the tablet they found. Curious.

There's one more door off this room that they haven't been through. It's locked with an intricate mechanism, but Aisling picks it easily. She opens the door - and a spectral woman wails at the heroes!

The wail chills them all to the core, and Zook actually collapses, already near death! Dara calls down a moonbeam to burn it, while Clara punches the ghost, splattering ectoplasm. Aisling heals Zook a bit to let him get up, so he can throw firebolts at the thing. It claws at Clara's brains, chilling and nearly deafening her, but between the four of them they manage to melt it away to nothing pretty quickly.

In the corner of the room, they find a stone chair, upon which is a skeleton (Dara guesses it to be an elf's). In the dust around it, she finds a set of beautiful silver combs. Dara pockets them; with a bit of cleaning they'll look nice in her hair. The heroes rest and recuperate, and then descend to face Madoc.

They enter the deepest room, a large and echoing chamber. At the end of it, they see the man himself, a decaying corpse sitting on a stone throne, still wearing rusted chainmail and a helmet. He looks up at them with a sneer of hatred.

"Why," asks Zook, "are you still here? What are you-"

"Cian," he spits. "You things from Cian. Crude and proud creatures baying."

Zook tries to protest, or parlay, but Madoc waves his hand. "Circos, kill them."

Something punches Clara and Dara in the head, rattling them both. But Dara was prepared for this - she casts faerie fire, illuminating a creature with a strong, humanoid torso, but two sets of legs coming from its waist. Aisling banes it, and Clara goes to work on its kidneys. Zook hurls magic missiles and firebolts, and the creature glances at Madoc and says something in a language none of the characters have heard. 

Madoc responds "oh, you're doing fine!" and the invisible stalker snarls and continues the fight. Madoc does, at one point, raise a hand to cast a spell at Dara, but Zook counters it, and Aisling rebukes him "Performance issues, eh?"

The stalker falls, disappearing to gusts with a sigh of relief ("you're welcome!" calls Clara). Madoc descends from his throne, walks through the cloud of daggers and moonbeam waiting for him, and shushes the heroes. 

Everything goes silent. Zook, unable to cast under such conditions, scampers forward and puts a crossbow bolt in Madoc's throat. This breaks his concentration and the silence falls, and his lips curl back in hatred. He casts another spell, one Zook has never seen, and wisps of spectral energy rise from the ground, surrounding Madoc and tearing at the heroes' flesh.

Clara beats him with her monkly fists, and Dara continually moves the moonbeam, but Madoc keeps his head and simply moves forward. He raises his hands and bashes Clara on the head, dropping her, and his spirit guardians take Aisling down. Zook, likewise, is nearly gone, but Dara grabs him and yanks him back out of the effect...but Madoc walks forward and the attack continues.

Zook realizes that if he and his compatriots stay in this death zone, they'll all be dead quickly. He takes a calculated risk - he throws a fireball. It explodes behind Madoc, catching him, Aisling, and Clara in the blast, but only just. It's enough.

The driftglobe that was illuminating the room falls, and everything plunges into darkness. Dara casts spells and awakens her friends, and Aisling reactivates the light. Madoc's charred body lies on the floor, but the heroes, having seen it start to regenerate during the fight, wonder if they need to do anything else. 

Aisling relates tales of revenants, people who died with such hate in their hearts that they carried revenge back to the land of the living. But a true revenant only has a year from death to exact that revenge...a year, Clara and Zook point out, that was extended eternally by Madoc's contract with Orcus. Dara says that they need to drag him out of the keep, and they do, hauling his body up through the other rooms, using a spell on a scroll Zook found to portal their way past the floating whisper-skulls, and out into the valley.

The instant Madoc's body clears the threshold of the keep, it disintegrates. The valley seems somehow...fresher, more alive, and a pleasant breeze blows. 

The heroes, chuffed, return to Madoc's room and find his treasures, probably harvested from other adventures. Money and jewelry, sure, but also a small statuette of a humanoid dragon sort of creature? Zook suspects it might be a demon, but evil monsters aren't usually depicted in proportion or in well-made armor. Also, what the hell is this thing made of? Dara thinks it feels like bone or antler, but it's too thick and too white.

They also find a cloth sack, which Zook pegs as magical and Aisling identifies as a bag of holding (which is good, because gold is heavy; no word on whether it contains wooden demon-dog statues). They also find one more exit, that they hadn't noticed before... 

The exit leads to a small alcove, colder than the rest of the keep. They feel a crisp breeze from a tunnel, and Clara says that it smells like mountain air, which of course isn't something you tend to smell in caverns. Zook works a quick augury and confirms that following this tunnel would be weal (not woe), so, after a quick rest, they continue on, into the unknown by away from Dead Valley.