Saturday, May 31, 2025

Character Creation: Ganymede Outriders

The final character of May! To celebrate the warm sunny...well, no, it's been more like November the last few weeks. Ah, well.

The Game: Ganymede Outriders
The Publisher: Caradoc Games
Degree of Familiarity: None, but the book is the size of a Little Debbie oatmeal creme pie
Books Required: Just the little pie thing

(It's not the same shape as a creme pie, so I don't know what I'm on about.)

Ganymede Outriders is a sci-fi kind of thing set on Ganymede, which used to be a tourist destination and is now overrun with marauders and dinosaurs. You're looting the place, or adventuring, or just tearing around on buggies. I can't imagine doing much more than a one-shot of this game, but I think it'd be fun for that, at least.

First thing I'm meant to think up is a name, and the book tells us that Outriders typically use nicknames. My outrider is called "Snacks." He always brings snacks with him on runs and he tends to forget to turn his comms off when he's cronching on something. But he's happy to share. Snacks are how you make friends. 

I think Snacks grew up in the Lights, the oldest inhabited part of Ganymede. He didn't grow up rich, but his dad was a requisition officer, making sure the right stuff got ordered and distributed. As such, while the family was kind of on the poor side, Snacks never went hungry because dad could always count on something falling off the back of the spaceship when necessary.

So why is Snacks an Outrider? I think because it sounded exciting, and Snacks didn't want to go into the military and openings in dad's kind of work are few and far between (it's a good job and it's got a low mortality rate). Dad isn't thrilled that Snacks is out in the Wastes, but y'know, it's work. 

Next I would make up a relationship with another PC, but of course I ain't got none. I'm always meant to come up with a relationship with an NPC, and obviously that's gonna be Dad.

OK, numbers! Five stats, 11 Skills. I get three stats at 1 and two at 2. I'll put Presence and Tenacity at 2.

For Skills, I get one at 4, two at 3, two at 2, three at 1, everything else is U (Unskilled). Hokay then. I think I want my 4 to be Influence; Snacks is a likeable guy and munchies really do grease the wheels. For my 3s, I'll take Drive and Fix (good with vehicles). For my 2s, I'll take Know and Endure. And then for 1s, we'll take Fight, Shoot, and Notice. That leaves Move, Sneak, and Heal at U.

Stress! There's a tachometer kind of thing. I start with my Tenacity x 2 (4) and add 8 (12), divide that in half (6), and that's how many green bars I get. I then get half the remainder (3) as yellow bars, but I don't have a yellow pen on my four-color, so I'ma leave those blank, and then the least 3 are red. 

Health is the same...well, mostly. It's Vigor + 7 (so 8), half is green, three is yellow, and the last one is red, but I fucked up and color an extra one in red. Nobody tell the GM.

And that's it, friends! I think Snacks is stocky but not chunky, but he'll probably be heading that way if he lives long enough. I picture him kinda like Lucas Black from Tokyo Drift, actually - not unpleasant looking but no stunner. 

This sheet did not need to be two-sided.



 

Movie #857: The A-Team

The A-Team is a movie version/reboot kinda thing of the iconic 80s TV show, starring Liam Neeson, Sharlto Copley, Bradley Cooper, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, Jessica Biel, Brian Bloom, and Patrick Wilson. 

Four Army Rangers wind up coming together during a rescue mission in Mexico: Hannibal Smith (Neeson), the planner and leader; Templeton "Face" Peck (Cooper), the social engineer and hottie; B.A. Baracus (Jackson), the muscle and mechanic; and H. M. Murdock (Copley), the pilot and nutcase. Cut to eight years later when this "A-Team" has been doing missions for the US Army in Iraq (but only good guy missions, obviously) and is recruited for One Last Job retrieving a case of dangerous MacGuffins (OK, actually they're engraving plates used to make US currency). It all goes fine, until the end when both the general who greenlit the op (Gerald McRaney) and a shipping container full of counterfeit money blow up, and the team is blamed for disobeying orders, court martialled, and sent to prison.

I want to pause here and say that the scene in which Hannibal and company get this job is really bad. It's taking place at a US Army base or camp or whatever in Iraq, and we've got Hannibal getting briefed on the job by our mysterious slimy CIA dude Lynch (Wilson), while Face is being told not to take the job by his DOD ex Sosa (Biel), and then Hannibal goes to General Morrison to ask to take the job? It's very muddled, and in a movie that took itself more seriously, I might think it was making a statement about the general higgelty-piggelty of the military. In this movie, however, in which a group of men fly a tank into a lake by firing the main cannon to propel them towards it, I suspect it more that the script just didn't make a lot of sense.

Anywho. The team escapes from various prisons and goes hunting for the evil mercenary (Bloom) and the plates to clear their names. Various people promise them clean slates, but when they eventually do recover the plates in a big explodey way (oh, and turns out Morrison is alive but then he immediately gets blown up so whatever), they're reminded that breaking out of federal custody is also a crime, so they are hella going back to prison. (But not really, they immediately escape to become SOLDIERS OF FORTUNE.)

I used to watch The A-Team when I was a kid. It was very much a children's show, what with the sanitized, bloodless approach to explosions, car crashes, and gunplay, and also Mr. T. I always loved the montage scenes (I used to refer to them as the "building stuff scenes"), where they would make cannons out of piping and soup cans or whatever. A lot of times, when properties from the Simpler Time that was the 80s get reimagined for modern audiences, they make the mistake of trying to make them grittier or more realistic, and I think there's a bit of that here. The team absolutely kills people, and it's even a (kind of weak) plot point that B.A. decides he doesn't want to do that anymore. 

But that said, you enjoy this movie a lot more if you go in with the same expectations as watching an episode of the show. Sure, Liam Neeson is a little too serious for the material at times, and sure, Quinton Jackson is fun but he is no Mr. T (but who is, really). Cooper and Copely, however, are having enough fun for all of them, and Wilson and Biel are also fully aware of what movie they're in. I think that in the hands of a director that was able to make the movie a little more self-aware, it might been better, but I also think that with a script that had a little more polish, it would have been easier to follow the story so we could focus more fully on the absurd action.

Bottom line: It's very watchable, but it did kinda make me want to see if the show is streaming anywhere.

My Grade: C+
Rewatch Value: High

Next up: The African Queen

Thursday, May 29, 2025

Character Creation: Ultima Forsan

Oh, no! It's-a zombie-a! 

The Game: Ultima Forsan
The Publisher: SpaceOrange42, I guess? That's what the DTRPG page says, anyway, though the book says "GG Studio," but searching that doesn't get me anywhere near this game
Degree of Familiarity: None with this specific game, but a bunch with the component parts
Books Required: Ultima Forsan and some species of the Savage Worlds rules; it's written for Deluxe, but my experience has been that any version works

Ultima Forsan is set in an alternate sixteenth century where a zombie plague has ravaged Europe. The zombies here are mostly the standard infectious variety; there's a bubonic plague, they have blood full of plague juice (I bet their lymph nodes are as big as cats!), they nom on people's limbs, etc. Some people are "Tainted," carrying the plague and able to spread it, but not actually zombies (until they die...hang on, this sounds a lot like Red Markets, as I think about it). Some zombies are intelligent, some are mutated - this setting is not unlike a lot of similar ones I've read, is what I'm saying. The one it reminds me most of is Unhallowed Necropolis, actually. 

So! Let's make a character!

I think there's enough grimdark in the real world of late (though no zombie plagues; of course, if there were, I'm sure the administration would be doing everything it could to make sure it spreads to the serfs so they can sell horse paste as a cure or whatever), so I think I shall make someone who truly believes that the Plague is curable. I've probably made peppy sidekick characters for this project before, because my thoughts are drifting to the doomed characters played by Shia LeBeouf in Constantine, Elijah Wood in The Last Witch Hunter (at first, at least), or David Wenham in Van Helsing (there are probably examples in better movies, of course). So my character's name is Enrico Abbandonato. Left on the doorstep of a monastery as a baby, little Enrico demonstrated a talent for reading, science, and alchemy from a young age. The brothers at the monastery told him (mostly jokingly) that he'd be the one to find the cure, and, well, Enrico kinda believes it. 

Starting, then, with race, Enrico is Untainted (the other option is Tainted, but I don't want that for him). I get the usual d4 in my stats and then 5 points to throw around. Obviously Smarts and Spirit need to be high, so fuck it, I'm gonna put them both to d8 and put Agility to d6. That leaves Strength and Vigor at d4, but life's like that.

Skills! This being Deluxe, not SWADE, I just get 15 points to throw around. Are there any differences in Skills? (I discovered while doing this that I must have bought this game at a con, because I don't have the PDF of the full game, just the setting guide, which is annoying.) 

Well, since I want to be an Alchemist, I need Alchemy. I'll just go ahead and take that at d8. I'll take Healing d4, Investigation d6, Knowledge (Plague) d8, Notice d4, Persuasion d6, Stealth d6, and Taunt d4. 

Derived traits! Edges n' shit! I get a free Edge for being human, and I'll take Arcane Background (Alchemy), thanks. Actually, let's think about Hindrances, too. There's one in the Ultima Forsan book called Weak Stomach, and I think that fits li'l Enrico. I'll take Loyal and Pacifist (Minor), too; I could take Vow, but I don't know that his monkey vows would be that big a deal in play.

That gives me 4 more points to play with. Let's figure out my Alchemy stuff before I spend them (since I might want another "power"). I get three "powers", and I don't worry about Power Points (the setting doesn't use them, instead we apply a penalty to the roll to make the alembic equal to half the PP cost). 

So obviously Enrico needs some kind of defensive power. Let's take Armor and say he makes an ointment that hardens the skin. Healing, obviously. And then let's take Burst and say that Enrico kinda discovered that one by accident and was all set to quit the order in failure (he was actually trying to make something to strengthen stone and therefore fortify a building) and the Abbott was like "Um, you can see how delivering a large amount of concussive force would be really useful, right?"

Actually I think that's good for powers, so let's see, where else could I spend my points. I'll blow one and buy Fighting d4 just so my Parry doesn't completely suck ass. Ooh, hell yeah, I'll buy the Fool the Dead Edge, meaning I can use Smarts tricks on undead creatures and against the living I get a +2 to such things. And then I'll spend my last point and buy Taunt up to d6.

And now it's time for Derived Traits. My Charisma (still a thing in this edition of the rules) is 0, Parry is 4, Vigor is 4, Pace is 6. I'm not gonna bother with Gear, 'cause y'know, fuck it.

Enrico is young, maybe 19. He's smart but not especially perceptive, and he is 100% going to panic and run the first time he really encounters the Dead. I picture him as kind of like Christian Slater in The Name of the Rose, except much smarter and probably not as a pretty.

Tuesday, May 27, 2025

Movie #856: Thor: Ragnarok

Thor: Ragnarok is the next movie in the Thor series, starring Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Tessa Thompson, Jeff Goldblum, Cate Blanchett, Anthony Hopkins, Taika Waititi (who also directed), Idris Elba, Karl Urban, Clancy Brown, and Mark Ruffalo. 

Thor (Hemsworth) has been having visions of Ragnarok, and kills the fire-giant Surtur (Brown) to prevent it. He also learns that Odin (Hopkins) isn't actually on Asgard, despite there being a dude who looks very much like Odin there, so he flies back and unmasks Loki (Hiddleston). They go to Earth to find Odin, with a little helpful cameo from Dr. Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch), and get to him just before he dies. This has the unfortunate effect of releasing their previously unknown sister Hela (Blanchett), Goddess of Death and Pointy Things, from imprisonment, and she promptly shatters Mjolnir, knocks both brothers out of Bifrost, kills the warriors three (Ray Stevenson, Zachary Levi, and Tadanobu Asano), and takes over Asgard.

Meanwhile, Thor and Loki wind up on Sakaar, the junk planet, ruled by the flamboyant Grandmaster (Goldblum), who runs gladiatorial combats starring his champion, the Hulk (Ruffalo). Wait, what? Yeah, turns out the Hulk fell into a wormhole after Age of Ultron and has remained in Hulk-form for years. Thor, Hulk, the displaced Valkyrie (Thompson), Loki, and a bunch of misfits from Sakaar wind up going to confront Hela, but it turns out that since she draws power from Asgard, the only way to beat her is to facilitate Ragnarok, releasing Surtur and letting him wreck the place. 

I like this movie, but watching it in light of Love & Thunder, I have somewhat mixed feelings. Ragnarok was a breath of fresh air in the MCU. Consistently, the best way to get a good MCU movie is to hire a director with a style and actually allow them to express it - it's how we got Winter Soldier, Black Panther, and, I'd argue, Thunderbolts*. But the flipside to that is that sometimes the style comes before the continuity. For example, this is the movie where what a "god" is in MCU terms really comes into question - Thor seemed to established that it was just mortals worshiping advanced beings with (what seemed to be) magical tech, but here Thor being the "God of Thunder" is actually a pretty important point. Likewise, I've never really loved that Age of Ultron ended with Thor flying off to look for Infinity Stones, and this movie begins with him offhandedly saying "looked for magic rocks, didn't find any." Might as well have had a voice-over from Taiki Waititi saying "yeah, yeah, Disney, blah-blah, anyway, let's get to the fun stuff I want to do."

But maybe that's a good thing? I don't have any problem with Thor's turn towards comedy, and I think the Russos handled it pretty smoothly in Infinity War. I actually think the story and script were pretty strong for what they are. Did we need to kill off the Warriors Three so unceremoniously? Probably not, but evidently Waititi wanted to show Hela as a real threat and those were the characters they deemed killable. Does it make sense that "Odin" branded Heimdall (Elba) a traitor and he was never able to see through Loki's disguise and expose him, or just brought Thor to Asgard and said "hey, dude, that's not your dad." Hell, why didn't Heimdall know Loki wasn't dead? 

On the other hand, Tessa Thompson is an absolute joy as Valkyrie, and I love the direction her character has gone during the brief moments we've seen her since. I wish Disney had the balls to actually let the character be queer, but that's what we called a "known issue." While the goofiness is kind of a tonal shift, as I mentioned when talking about Thor, the character has always been depicted with a sense of humor and a bit of "lovable lunk" to him, so it's not a total lurch. I think Ragnarok is probably the strongest of the Thor movies just as a movie, and I think its negative points are more about what it set up for Love & Thunder than anything else.

My Grade: B+
Rewatch Value: High

Next up: Thor: Love & Thunder

D&D: Welcome to Cian!

Here we are in the magical land of Abhaile! Here's last time.

Our heroes trek north for another week. Zook re-summons his spider familiar, names it Edna, and lets it ride on his shoulder as they walk. Dara chats with the critters they see as they walk, looking for weirdness (though "weirdness" expectations have to be adjusted when you're talking to, say, rabbits: "IT WAS A HORRIBLE SLAVERING BEAST, IT ATE MY FAMILY-" oh, it was a fox). Clara tries to figure out the mysteries of a little trinket she found a while back - it's a little mechanical crab that moves if she's not looking at it ("Maybe I'm just not fast enough?"). 

Eventually they start getting close to the capital city of Cian, and they can see the stone walls in the distance. Zook, of course, is familiar with Cian - he trained to be a wizard here - but the others have never been, and Dara and Aisling have never seen it (Clara saw it in the distance as she headed south originally). Aisling notes with wonder that it just keeps getting bigger every time you look away and then look back.

Cian itself is surrounded by stone walls. The north entrance (the "back," from the characters' perspectives, since they're coming from the south) has an immense portcullis that's kept closed, but opened for travelers, traders, or other entrants as needed. The southern entrance, the huge wooden doors, are always kept open except in times of emergency. The last time they were closed, a necromancer raised an army of the dead and marched on Cian to try and retake it, and when the people retreated inside, tried to wait them out (dead soldiers don't starve, after all). They were defeated through patience and archery.

Anyway, the lands immediately surrounding the city are a melange of small villages and farms, mostly growing stuff you don't need a ton of land for. As the heroes approach, they spot a man hoeing a garden of cabbages and stop to chat a minute. He tells them if they head west they'll hit the main road, and that'll lead them right into the city through the southern gates. If they keep going north from where they are, they'll come to the Glass River (the city sits on the confluence of the Glass and Hidden Rivers), and they'll have to find a bridge to cross. They decide to just head west; they're in no particular mood to wander around. It's been a long trip.

As they're walking through the villages, Zook spots an old man sitting on a bench, and feels for a moment that he knows him...a second later it hits him. That was the old man they saved from the doppelgangers, wasn't it? He tells the others, but when they look back, the old man is gone. This concerns the heroes somewhat; if that guy was Sennin, there's no way he moved that fast. If he was a doppelganger, that means these monsters are in the area. But maybe Zook was just mistaken? The heroes move on, and come to the main road.

The main road is lined with vendors with makeshift booths and tents. Unlike the people the heroes have met on their travels, these folks sell their goods, but fortunately the heroes have managed to accrue coin. Aisling goes a little nuts buying ribbon and jewelry and so on (she's a sucker for a pretty face, and there are lots of pretty people selling things). She also buys some strings for her lute. Zook does the same thing with food and drink, and Clara is amazed at the different things that can be done with corn. Dara is not a fan of the noise and the chaos, but finds a stand that sells trinkets with minor magics and buys a set of earrings that mute the noises around her, and that helps.

The heroes head into the city through the gate, stopping to talk to a couple of the guards. Zook explains the "authority" structure of Cian a little - at the top are the Monarch and the Voice. Monarchy in Abhaile isn't determined through lineage or "divine right" (remember that Abhailans don't really see the gods as having much direct input in their lives). If you want to be Monarch, you can be, if you've got the reputation and support to hold up your claim. The Voice is elected by all the people of Abhaile, though in practice it's usually just the people of Cian who vote. 

The Monarch is protected by ten hand-picked Sworn. The Sworn are often adventurers who put their heroic careers on hold to join this force, and then pick it up when the Monarch steps down or dies. Beyond the Sworn, there are the Delvers (detectives empowered to arrest, question, and investigate - there are eight at any given time, four each chosen by the Monarch and the Voice); the Strikes (professional guards and watchers who work in 8-hour shifts, five for each shift, the Day Strikes, Noon Strikes, and Night Strikes); and the Posted (volunteers who act as kind of guardians and first responders). The folks at the gate are Posted.

The two guards chat with the characters a bit, and one of them gives the characters directions to an inn called the Clumsy Archer on the north end of town. He warns them that it's cheap for a reason - the inn is near the outflow pipes and it gets kind of ripe at certain points in the day (the heroes concede that what happens to the city's waste never really occurred to them), but if they're looking for modest prices for long-term, it's a good bet. The heroes thank them and give them some snacks, for which they're very grateful (both of them are coming to the end of their shift and haven't eaten), and then head into the city.

The city was chaotic outside, but it's so much more so now! The characters marvel not just as the noise and the density but the diversity. They're used to seeing villages where most of the clothes are made by the same people out of the same materials, but here there are folks from all over the country and therefore different styles and colors. Likewise, they see not only humans and elves, but half-elves, halfings, and even the odd tiefling! 

Clara looks for a monastery, and finds a monk in fairly short order (Zook mentions, too, that the current Monarch, Queen Niamh, was a monk before becoming pregnant with her daughter and giving up life on the road). Clara asks the monk where to find others, and he leads her to a structure blocked off with a wooden fence. Inside, there are monks sparring and meditating. The man tells Clara that this is just a place that monks of any tradition can come to rest and interact, but there is an actual monastery of "city monks", to which he gives her directions.

Meanwhile, the others head on. Zook spots an establishment that cuts hair! He goes in to get a haircut ("I want something that'll look nice even after I've been wearing a hat"), and the half-elf cutting his hair mentions that he trained as a wizard briefly, but really wasn't much good at it ("could never remember all the spells; did you know if you mispronounce part of a Color Spray spell you get something more like a Stinking Cloud? Pretty awful"). Zook asks where he might find a leatherworker who could make him a saddle for his dog, and the hairdresser says to check with a trinket shop run by a gnome named Darragh Bumpshadow. She probably knows someone who could help. He mentions that the shop was actually run by Darragh's father, Trice, but he passed away recently.

Dara and Aisling, meanwhile, find a bath house (after grappling with the local accent a little - "yer lookin fer bats?" "Bats? No, baths." "Swat ah sayed, bats."). The halfling who runs the bathhouse lays out the options and they plump for the gold package - hot water as needed, scent, and snacks. A man made of copper walks in to fill the baths, and the halfling tells them that this device was a gift from her brother, an adventurer. He died out on his adventures and the copper man walked all the way back to Cian with a note saying that it belonged to her now. Fascinated by the prospect of having a metal butler on their travels, the two of them relax in their tubs.

Zook winds up being the first to the Clumsy Archer, and books them a room for the weak. The innkeeper gives him keys ("Ah onleh got tree keys fer thas rum"), and he waits for the others to show up. The four of them go down the block to a restaurant (the Clumsy Archer doesn't serve food), and compare notes, make plans for the next day, and hear a loud DONG (which Zook explains is the bell changing the Strike shift). 

They wake up the next morning to a really terrible smell. They go downstairs and find the proprietor wearing a strip of cloth over his face ("sarry bout the shite stank, nawt ah I can do"). They head out into the city and split up - each has some things they want to check out.

Clara goes to the "city monk" monastery, and discovers that it's much like most of the buildings here, rather than the open-air affair that she saw yesterday. Monks play board games and spar, but the windows are open, letting in the noises and aromas of the city (fortunately they're far enough away from the north wall that they don't get that aroma). Clara speaks to an elf, who tells her that the noise of the city is its own enlightenment, and learning to think through it is much the same as learning to think through the birdsong and forest sounds of his home in the south, or, presumably, the rushing winds of her home in the north.

Aisling finds the college of bards and demonstrates playing a harp-lute (she doesn't have hers with her, but they have one on hand, though few can play it). They trade songs and stories for a bit, and Aisling invites some of them to come and play music with her at the Archer later.

Zook and Dara head first to Bumpshadow's Trinkets, where they meet Darragh. Darragh tells them that there's a halfling named Ioan Glassbeard who has made dog-saddles before. She also sells Zook a vest that will take on the scent of anything put it in the front pocket, and a button that changes the color of a garment it's sewn to (Zook wants the vest to match his hat). She warns him to be careful what he puts in the pocket; her father forgot and put a bit of cheese in there once. Zook expresses his condolences about her father, and she thanks him - she always thought he'd live forever. 

From there, Zook and Dara go and visit Ioan Glassbeard, who takes measurements for Maeve (the dog) and says he'll send word when the saddle is done. And then they head to the Arcanum, where wizards are taught - they have questions about demons and spiders. Zook speaks to Magister Rose, one of his old teachers, and she points him to the library and sends one Magister Luch to meet them. 

Luch is not a halfling, but is short enough to be mistaken for one. Dara and Zook tell him about their experiences with the gnolls and the Bride, and he tells them that gnolls originally came from a demonic bargain with the Queen of Hunger, also called Yeenoghu. There's no reason that couldn't be extended to other animals besides hyenas, but he's never heard that happening before. Zook also shows him the head of the spider-creature they killed, and he marvels at it - it looks like it is partially an elf, but...those eyes! ("Yes," says Dara with a shudder.) Zook shows him the transcription he made of the chant the creature was forcing his victims to repeat, and Luch says it's not any tongue he's ever heard of. He makes a copy and says he'll do some digging, maybe he can at least identify the language. They also tell him about the succubus they've fought, twice, and he tells them that the odds of summoning the same succubus twice by accident are virtually nil. That means someone summoned that particular demon for some reason, and the heroes wound up "killing" it both times. Very curious.

Clara and Aisling show up, as well, and they mention what they saw yesterday (that is, the possible doppelganger). Luch says that doppelgangers are generally lazy and opportunistic, but also evil by inclination. That is, it never occurs to them to be kind and therefore it doesn't make sense to them when others show kindness. The thing they saw yesterday might have been a doppelganger, but it's not like them to follow enemies or hold grudges; they're not usually that motivated. Likewise, although a doppelganger might learn spells and therefore have become invisible, they don't normally that sort of focus. They can, however, skim the thoughts of those around them, which is what lets them impersonate people effectively. 

Aisling tells Luch about her tactic of casting a Sleep spell to reveal a doppelganger, and Luch is impressed - of course such a spell wouldn't affect a doppelganger, so in the right circumstance it's a clever way to reveal one. Luch thanks them and tells Zook to give him a day or two, and hopefully he'll have learned something. 

It's getting later in the day, so the heroes start heading back to the north end of town. They had noodles for dinner last night, maybe pies tonight?

Monday, May 26, 2025

Character Creation: Path of the Aram Thyr

Apparently our chargen theme this week is "may as well get this over with." 

The Game: Path of the Aram Thyr
The Publisher: Blackoath Entertainment
Degree of Familiarity: None, but it's basically D&D
Books Required: Just the one

 

Path of the Aram Thyr is "progression fantasy," which is to say, characters improve as they adventure. So...D&D. The book talks about a few examples of progression fantasy in literature, and I suppose it's a thing (as opposed to, say, Lord of the Rings, in which characters might progress in terms of personality and storyline but getting more badass isn't so much a focus), but at the end of the day this reads like yet another fantasy game with a lovingly crafted but ultimately kind of dry setting. 

Now that I've been running D&D for a while, I'm thinking about why I love the setting I've made so much and I'm utterly indifferent towards most published ones, and I think it's a combination of things, many of which I've said before: I find the xkcd Fiction Rule of Thumb applies as much or more to RPGs as it does to novels. I also find fantasy settings hard to get my brain into if the scope is too wide. That is, if we at least start out in a village and we get a look at how this particular person or family functions, then it's immediate and real enough to get my interest. RPGs, though, almost by necessity often take a wider view (and fantasy RPGs particularly often do history sections that span tens of thousands of years), it just kinda loses me.

With all that said, Path of the Aram Thyr, aside from having a largely meaningless title that's hard to remember and spell, looks like a perfectly serviceable RPG, and it's one of those that has exploration-via-hex, which I've always wanted to try out. It's just that it's yet another game the players would have to read to really get the most out of, and that isn't real likely (and I wouldn't ask them to read it even if I thought they would, 'cause it's kinda dull).

Anyway, let's make a Armie Tear or whatever the hell.

Begin by taking a new character sheet. Check. 

Roll 3d6 six times for the stats (standard D&D spread). No allowance for crap rolls, huh? OK. My rolls 5 (yep, gonna be that kind of day), 9, 11, 14, 15, 12. OK, except for that first one, that's actually not bad. Now we assign them, and I'm left with the eternal chargen question: What is my dump stat?

(Slight tangent: It bugs me that there's a right answer. The right answer is Charisma, because unless you're playing a Bard or something like it you don't really have to roll CHA often. But if you put it in DEX you're fucking yourself out of initiative, ranged combat, and probably defense. If you put it in CON, you're fucking yourself out of hit points. If you put it in WIS, you're never going to notice anything and there are some pretty important saves - which are also a thing in this game - that you'll suck at. If you put it in STR, you might be OK if you stick to ranged or finesse weapons. INT is the other possibility.)

Well, let's buck trend a little and put my 5 in Strength. If this were a more realistic setting, I'd say he has a degenerative condition that affects his muscles, but in this kind of game I think "cursed by a witch" might make more sense. I'll wait on that, thought. 

I'll put the 11 into CON, since it makes sense it wouldn't be terribly high. I'll put the 9 into Intelligence, the 12 into Charisma, the 14 into Wisdom and the 15 into Dexterity. Rogue? Maybe, we'll see. What's next?

I mean, obviously

Moving on. Technique affinity and Kin gift. Oh, wait, I get +1 to three Skills of my my choice. That's not in the list of chargen things to do, but it is listed with the Skills chart.

You know, maybe there's a market in indie rpgs for a utility reader? Like, they have sensitivity readers, which is great, and they have proofreaders (sometimes), but how about someone who just reads the damn book and makes a character and/or preps to run a game just to see whether all the moving parts work? I'd be good at that, but obviously I'm not a viable choice.

Anyway. I'm gonna hold off on Skills because the technique choice might influence my choices. Rolling a d10 to pick technique I get...4. Dominator. Sure, I shall be known as THORBILG THE KITTEN-ARMED. 

I don't see a slot for technique on the sheet. I see Path, Domain, and Kin Gift. Must not be important. What's next? 

Kin Gift. I roll a d20, and get...Aendalin's Gift. I always know which way is north, and I can remember stuff real good. Well, I guess that makes more sense than something mighty-thews-ish. 

Path! This I get to pick, and it looks like the technique I picked earlier is an expression of Path that I'm just good at (and despite my earlier assumption, "Dominator" is about controlling a battlefield, so maybe I can actually do it). 

OK, what Path? The book says Path is typically set by one's clan, but I don't think there's like a list of clans or anything. Since my Kin Gift gives me perfect direction and recall, let's follow that "in tune with the world" notion and take the Path of the Rolling Boulder. That gives me +1 CON (always useful), and means I don't suffer Fatigue or penalties when moving through difficult terrain. That's pretty dope.

Back to Skills, then. I'll put my bonuses into Survival, Perception, and Medicine, I think. 

Is that...it? I mean, I'd get 3d20 silver and be able to shop, but you know how I feel about that shit. Oh, wait, derived/etc, which should be under chargen. Anyway. I have 2d6 + 6 HP (roll...8, so 14). My Defense Level, which, fun fact, is labeled AC on the sheet (lol), is equal to my DEX mod, but I get a +1 for my Path, so it's 2, plus 10, so 12. Tenacity is 10 + WIS modifier, or 11. Reputation is a d20 roll, so...5. Yeah, that's about right. 

So...I guess that's it? I like the idea that my guy is from some clan that lives out in flat terrain and teaches the Path of the Rolling Boulder as a way to avoid getting tired when you're walking for days on end to find water and so forth. I think that his extreme physical weakness is probably due to some kind of magical curse; since I'm at the start of my adventuring career I'm inclined to call it a clan curse. Maybe the clan was supposed to perform some kind of ritual or sacrifice and didn't, and my guy was the first child born after that. It's been corrected since, but there was a generation of real weaklings born, and my guy was the only survivor...as far as he knows. 

Ooh, there's a random "name your clan" table. Rolling for prefix, core, and suffix, I get Téaéatha, which...huh. Actually I dig it, the clan name comes from their loud, almost yodel-like cry to signal each other over the plains. My guy's name is Siadh (it's one of the examples), so he's Siadh of the Téaéatha, I guess. 

I like this idea of Siadh being of normal build, so it's not obvious how physically weak he is until you throw him something like a waterskin and he can barely catch it. Clearly he'd be using a bow, because he doesn't have the arm-strength to hurl a spear or spin a sling. Siadh believes he can break the curse. Well, hopes he can. 

Cool, good enough! 



Saturday, May 24, 2025

Character Creation: Renegade City

Sure, why not, I got some time today. Actually I'd like to do four or five more characters this week, but I'm off for my very brief summer vacation before doing summer clinic, so it should be doable. 

The Game: Renegade City
The Publisher: Polyhedral Knights
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

I backed this game on Kickstarter a while ago (the books were delivered last year), I remember picking it up and reading it one morning and being kind of unimpressed, but I couldn't remember why. And then I just read the back cover text and remembered why - man, did this book need an editor. We've got missing punctuation, random capitalization, and syntax that reads like a half-hearted Reddit post. 

So what's the game about? Reading the back cover, it's a game in which characters are connected to organized crime, it's set in the fictional city of Vorhees, NC, and there's a cult and some witchcraft and...I dunno. The first three chapters are setting, talking about the city and the cult, but they're hard to read because of the, well, writing. Also, I just realize that the back cover text gets repeated in its entirety at least twice in the book. This game looks like it wants to be GTA with a splash of Witchcraft, maybe. There's an example scenario, let's check that out.

OK.

You know, let's just jump to chargen and follow the instructions and see what happens.

The chargen chapter recommends I'm a member of the Consortium, which is a criminal organization. Okey-doke. I think I need a little more than that. Well, having just finished watching Black Doves, my favorite character was probably Williams. Williams (played by Ella Lily Hyland) is a triggerman, but much more blunt and thuggish than Sam (played by Ben Whislaw). I think I want my character to be closer to the Williams side of things, capably violent but not a marksman. More a fan of the shotgun than the sniper rifle, if you see what I mean. 

Attributes! I get 17 points, there are six Attributes, min 1, max 5. Vigor, Smarts, Reflex, Flash, Discipline (which we're told is "willpower to resist things"), and Fitness. Not sure what the implications of having a 1 are. Let's do this, I'll put 2 in each one (12 points), and then I'll bump Vigor and Fitness to 4 and Reflex to 3. 

Derived Traits! (Goddammit, this should go at the end.) Hurt Level is on a chart cross-referencing Vigor and Fitness, which gives 45, and then adding 10, so 55. 

Hauling Ass, which is a real goddamn thing on this character sheet, is determined as follows:

Sure. I guess that means (Reflexes x 2) + Fitness, but whatever. If that's the case mine is 10.

Pain Mod...OK. These are "what the character adds to damage when they hurt someone." There's a chart for CQC and Range, the former based on Vigor and Smarts and the latter on Reflexes and Smarts but I have no idea how to interpret them.

There are pre-gens in the book, though! Let's see. Miles Jefferson has Vigor 2, Smarts 4, Reflexes 5. His CQC is 3 and his Range is 6. How'd we get there? I...have no freaking idea. Like, I'm legit baffled. Let's try another pre-gen, maybe Miles has a talent or something that modifies this. Officer Molly Redfern has Vigor 2, Smarts 4, Reflexes 3. Her CQC is 3 and Range is 4. 

Man, I have no idea. I guess I'm just leaving those blank.

Languages, well, I just speak my native because I only have 2 points of Smarts. Every two points of Smarts gives you a language, so what if you only have 1 Smarts? 

I start with Reputation 0. Rank...I dunno. It's defined, but we're not told where we start. The pregens start at 6 (higher is better), so I guess we'll start there?

(Side note: I started reading the combat section to see if maybe Pain was defined there, and man the system is gobbledegook). 

Archetype. This gives me an Asset, and then if I want to take a General Asset, I can take an Archetype Liability. Sure. 

I guess the only thing I have left to do is name and Motivation, which means I need to conceptualize a little. So let's say 

Well, Hired Gun, Dirtbag, or Thug all fit. Dirtbag was my first thought, but I dunno. Maybe I don't want to make someone quite that degraded. Maybe I am putting too much thought into this. I'll go with Thug. That gives me +1 Vigor which means I have to refigure my derived traits which is WHY THEY SHOULD COME LAST DAMMIT. I'll take Dirty Fighting as my Asset. Do I wish to take a Liability? UGH. My inclination is always to do that because they make characters more interesting, but do I really wish to stretch this out? I mean, if I take a Liability then I have to figure out my parameters of Assets. Christ, I think I'll skip it.

Skills! I get (ugh) 55 points, max is 6, but I can only take 6 in two Skills to start, otherwise max is 5. Sure. I want the max in Brawling. I'll take 4 in Athletics, 4 in Dodge, three in Drive (car), 3 in Intimidation, 2 in Interrogation, 5 in Melee, 4 in Pistols, 3 in Security, 2 in SMG, 4 in Rifles...this is weird, there's no Shotgun skill. Did they forget they exist?

No, shotguns are listed in the Equipment section, but that's it. Let's assume there's a separate Shotgun skill, since that seems to be the level of granularity we're on. I'll take 6 points there. Better total real quick...46 points, 9 more. Let's say 4 in Streetwise, 2 in Throwing, 3 in Stealth. 

I guess all that's left is name and Motivation and so on. Let's say this guy's name is Gordon Wright. Gordon grew up in a criminal family - mom and dad were both Consortium, both mid-level, both got caught up in a sting and sent away, both died in prison. By the time that happened, Gordon was 17, had already dropped out of high school, and was big and muscular. Dad taught him to fight, mom taught him to shoot, he's kept up with both, and that's...kinda what he does. He doesn't have the precision or planning to be a triggerman and he doesn't have the flash or the savvy to be a dealer or a con artist. He can fuck somebody up pretty good, and that's always useful, but that's about it.

But Gordon has plans. Rather, he has aspirations. He wants to progress in the Consortium, not because he particularly wants or thinks he deserves power, but because he legit isn't sure what else to do. He's not stupid, but his bubble is tiny and as far as he knows, the world outside the criminal underworld might as well be a TV show for all it matters. 

I think Gordon is a decent character in search of a better game, if I'm honest, but that's me done! I backed this company's current Kickstarter, but I'm thinking I might need to cancel that pledge, because this game is hot garbage. 


Thursday, May 22, 2025

Movie #855: Thor: The Dark World

Thor: The Dark World is, of course, the second in the Thor quadrilogy, stars most of the people from the first one, except that we've lost Colm Feore ('cause his character dead) swapped out Joshua Dallas for Zachary Levi and added Christopher Eccelston, Adewele Akinnuuoye-Agbaje, and Jonathan Howard. 

In MCU chronology, this is after Avengers but before Age of Ultron. Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and the Warriors Three (Levi, Ray Stevenson, Tadanobu Asano) and Lady Sif (Jaime Alexander) are romping around the various Realms...fighting marauders? We're told that the Realms have "erupted in chaos", and that it's maybe due to the destruction of Bifrost in the first movie, though now Bifrost is working again so I dunno. Thor hasn't been back to see Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), and she's trying to move on and date; her suitor at the beginning of the movie seems a very nice fellow and I'm sure he's a got a solid job in IT (Chris O'Dowd). 

Anyway, there's also this thing called the Convergence happening, when all nine Realms move into alignment. Malekith (Eccelston), the king of the Dark Elves, returns from exile in the titular Dark World and intends to use the Aether to destroy the universe and bring back the darkness. EVERYBODY GOT THAT? 

But Jane winds up absorbing the Aether, Thor takes her to Asgard, Odin (Anthony Hopkins), who seems to have gotten quite a bit more impatient and frankly dumb since the last movie, basically says "go home and die of your mysterious illness that is clearly magical in nature." Thor's mom Frigga (Rene Russo) is more sympathetic and hides Jane from the Dark Elves, and gets killed in the process. Thor frees Loki (Tom Hiddleston) from his cell and goes to the Dark World to try and get the Aether out and then destroy it. This does not work, Loki seemingly dies saving Jane, the Convergence starts, everything goes fucky, and Jane, Darcy (Kat Dennings), Eric Selvig (Stellan SkarsgÃ¥rd), and intern-who-shall-never-be-seen-again Ian (Howard) save the day! Thor helps a little. 

This movie gets a bad rap, but it's not bad. It's just kind of mid as far as MCU movies go, especially during Phase Two when there hadn't been that many movies and they'd been mostly bangers. (This was two movies after Avengers, preceded by Iron Man 3, which kinda had the same problem.) I think my biggest complaint about it is that nothing in it really mattered until Endgame, when the Time Heist involved going back to this movie and getting the Aether out of Jane. But before that, I don't think anything came back around: We never see Ian again, we never hear about Eric Selvig getting arrested, we never even here that a large spaceship crashed into Greenwich (even in Civil War where it would have made sense). The scene in Svartalfheim where Loki "dies" actually is the only thing that gets referenced again.

Hemsworth is consistently solid as Thor, Portman does her best (she's actually a more important part of this movie, but even so she's largely a MacGuffin), Darcy remains the most charming part of the principle cast. Christopher Eccelston joins the ranks of "great actors who are utterly wasted as MCU one-off villains." (See also Mads Mikkelson, Christian Bale, Jude Law; there are a bunch more actors who were one-offs but I'd argue they weren't wasted.)

Like I said, not a bad movie, but mostly a placeholder. 

My Grade: B
Rewatch Value: Medium

Next up: Thor: Ragnarok 

Tuesday, May 20, 2025

Wearing the Cape: Death Roll!

Back in the Big Easy...but this time, the heroes are the beignets! (Kind of.) Here's last time.

It's been a few days since Mardi Gras and the Anguillite invasion. Magnus has been popping up around the city doing tricks and generally getting a feel for this world. Styx does tours at local cemeteries (not for any of the tourist places, just like shows up with a sign that says "GHOST TOUR" and waits for people to gather round and give her money). Levee has been doing readings for kids at bookstores along with Toby (but of course Wing Diesel is the real draw). 

And on this particular afternoon, at an old bookstore near Jackson Square Park, Levee is, in fact, reading a book about a mermaid that lives in the swamp to her fifth group of second graders. Toby is nearby, Wing Diesel is out in the dark gleaming (he's too big to fit inside). Magnus and Styx are in the area, perhaps coincidentally, but really, are there coincidences? 

Suddenly, Wing Diesel hears screaming from the riverfront! He takes off and flies there ("Let's Go, Wing Diesel!"), leaving Toby and the other heroes a block or two away. Styx and Magnus start running, but Levee lingers a bit to comfort the kids and make sure they're safe (she is, after all, a NOLA Girl Through and Through and these are her people).

Wing swoops in and sees a monster! A nine-foot alligator-man, standing near the water, looking hungrily at the people out walking their dogs and so on. It bellows and Wing, not taking chances, breathes out his heated exhaust breath weapon at the creature.

The Gator Man doesn't even break a sweat. It leaps into the air and grabs Wing, digging its claws into his chrome exterior. Wing howls in pain, and a block away, Toby stumbles and clutches his head. Nothing has ever hurt Wing Diesel like this before.

Magnus and Styx arrive on scene and see Wing locked in mortal combat (I reflexively typed that with a "k", jeez) with the Gator Man. Styx gets the people standing around filming to run, thanks very much, while Magnus considers whether this thing will fit in his hat. He closes the distance, and the Gator Man claws up Wing some more. Magnus throws a gravity tether from his hat and yanks both Wing and the Gator Man to the ground, and Wing shoves the Gator Man back and off him.

Levee arrives and calls up a lash of water from the nearby Mississippi River. It wraps around the Gator Man's neck and yanks him backwards. Wing flies back to the nearby parking lot and Toby tries to comfort him, and Magnus runs over and dances for the Gator Man ("Look! Delicious magician! Woo!"). The Gator Man, now Distracted, doesn't notice Styx creeping up behind him.

Styx channels the ghost of a gater wrangler and leaps on the Gator Man's back, trying to tie a scarf around his snoot and prevent him from biting anyone. Levee calls more water out of the Mississippi and surrounds the Gator Man In a Bubble, and Magnus, not really paying attention to the fact that Styx is in there as well (after all, We Are But Dust), pulls a cattle prod-like device from his hat and electrifies the bubble. This hurts the Gator Man, sure, but it also zaps Styx, and the Gator Man attacks, rendering Styx Clawed to Ribbons and giving her Massive Blood Loss. The bubble goes crimson...

Wing swoops in and fishes Styx out, and Levee firms up the bubble by increasing pressure. She then asks the water what this thing is - a breakthrough? Another alien creature like the Anguillites? And the water answers: It is the fear of the creature lurking beneath the surface. Someone reached into that fear and made this thing. It's not and never was human, but it is alive. 

Toby drags Styx out of harm's way and calls for help, while Levee and Magnus debate what to do with this thing (it's pretty much immobilized, as it doesn't have the leverage to break out of the bubble). They could kill it, maybe, but it's really tough, and do they really have the stomach to just pound on it until it dies? Finally they decide to let the authorities handle and it and call Sgt. Guidry. Magnus retrieves a massive syringe from his hat and drugs it, and the cops arrive to take it away. 

Styx is taken to the hospital and stitched up, and Wing settles back to lick his wounds. They all wonder, though, exactly who it was that created this thing...

Monday, May 19, 2025

Movie #861: Thor

Thor is, of course, the MCU movie about the titular thunder god/superhero, starring Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Kat Dennings, Stellan Skarsgård, Anthony Hopkins, Rene Russo, Jamie Alexander, Ray Stevenson, Joshua Dallas, Tadanobu Asano, Clark Gregg, and Idris Elba.

Ah, the heady days of Phase One. Anyway, Thor (Hemsworth) is an Asgardian, often worshiped as gods on Earth, but really just a member of a more advanced race with super-science and sorcery. His dad Odin (Hopkins) once drove the Frost Giants away from Earth (sorry, Midgard), and now, Thor is about to be crowned king! Thor is all about battle; he thinks he wants to be king, but really he wants to be out adventuring with this pals Sif (Alexander), the Warriors Three (Dalls, Asano, and Stevenson), and his brother Loki (Hiddleston).

But then some frost giants break into Asgard on the big day, Thor goes to Jotunheim to confront Laufey (Colm Feore), king of the Jotuns, things get fucky, and Oden banishes Thor to Midgard stripped of his powers...

...whereupon we meet astrophysicists Jane Foster (Portman) and Eric Selvig (Starsgård) and their plucky intern Darcy (Dennings) who are studying the weird phenomena that accompany the Bifrost opening. We learn that Loki was responsible for all this (duh). SHIELD rolls in, Thor tries and fails to get his hammer back, eventually learns an important lesson about not being a complete dick, regains his worthiness, and Thor swears to be an ally to Midgard, but then returns to Asgard and winds up breaking the Bifrost to save Jotunheim. Don't worry, it gets repaired by the sequel.

This is such an interesting movie, not so much for what it is (I mean, it's a good superhero movie but I don't know if it does anything really challenging), but for how it slots into the MCU generally. People talk about Thor's comedic turn in Thor: Ragnarok, but the truth is that Thor was winking to his friends and being jokey back here, he was just doing it with kind of stilted dialog. 

But what I find interesting, and this is something I wish they'd have done a little differently, is that what a "god" is in the context of the MCU is never really defined. Same thing with "magic." Much of the movie seems to indicate that Asgardians are, effectively, an alien race (I mean, from Earth's perspective) and that their magic is technology-based...except Loki is explicitly called a "master of magic." So does he use magic in the same way as, say, Dr. Strange, just with a different filter? And what is a "god", because here it seems to be just a title that silly humans bestowed, but even before Love and Thunder came along and muddied the waters terribly, Loki was calling himself "God of Mischief." 

I think the answer is: This was Phase One, it was directed by Kenneth Brannagh who took a very operatic, nigh-Shakespearan approach, and the nerdy logistics weren't really something they were thinking about. Certainly not in terms of how it would all slot together 30 films later. So what's this movie like on its own steam?

Hemsworth and Hiddleston are the standouts, and Marvel really lucked out with both of them. Hiddleston, more than anyone, has come to be a real focal point in the MCU, and Hemsworth manages to portray Thor as immature and brash but still having a seed of the greatness that he'll come to show later, which is a hard needle to thread in a movie about "Frost Giants." Natalie Portman is good as usual, but she's largely playing Girlfriend, I hate to say (I mean, she has enough personality that she doesn't feel like an interchangeable part, but it's not like Jane has an arc, at least not in this movie). Kat Dennings' Darcy pulls focus from her, and lo and behold, we've seen a lot more of her since. 

I think the movie stuffs in a lot of characters, and I think that later films haven't treated what was established here with much respect, but like I said, we'll get to Love and Thunder

My Grade: B+
Rewatch Value: High

Next up: Thor: The Dark World

Chill: Die at the Party

Yesterday we started a new Chill case (here's last time). Didn't get all that far, because of the players fell victim to a migraine and had to go lay down, but the stage is definitely set. 

Rather, the stage was set, and then someone died next to it. Read on. As always, any references to real businesses or entities is done for game play purposes and is no way meant to reflect any statement or any real research into them.

It's May in Seward, and it's the Thursday before Harbor Opening Weekend. The tourist season is about to start off, in a trickle as schools let out and then a torrent as the summer crowd converges. But for the moment, things are still pretty chill. Amelia Rostov is working a QCOM booth at the Mermaid Festival (yes, it's a thing). Britt Lepus is at a bar, cutting limes and getting ready for the evening shift. Nicholas Failor has completed a supply run and is doing a maintenance check on his plane. 

Mercy Williams, still perhaps a bit stiff after getting stabbed during the last case, is working the afternoon shift as an EMT. She gets called to a minor traffic accident - two guys were driving in opposite directions down 3rd Ave, one of them suddenly swerved into the other lane, crunch. As head-ons go, though, it's pretty benign. Cuts and bruised, one of the cars' airbags deployed. Mercy is doing a concussion check on Frank Humphrey, the older gent in the car that swerved. He seems lucid and largely uninjured, but he does ask about "the girl."

Mercy doesn't know what he means. "The girl in the road," he says. "She walked into traffic and I swerved to avoid her. I didn't see her after that." 

Mercy talks to some of the cops on scene and none of them know anything about it, but they knock on a couple of doors just to make sure (as Mercy points out, if this girl did get hit, she might have wandered off injured). She talks to Isaac Meyer, the guy driving the other car, and asks about it. He says he saw her, too, and asks if he might be concussed, because it looked for all the world like she just vanished. Not ran off, not fell, but literally disappeared. Mercy finds no evidence that he's been injured, and points out that the moments surrounding a car crash are often hard to remember fully, but she does put all this into the group chat. She also gets a more thorough description from Frank. He says the girl looked young (20s? Teens? Frank doesn't have a good gauge anymore, they're all kids), white, brunette, and maybe dressed a little scantily? Like she was partying? Also, Frank says something curious - she wasn't wearing red, exactly, but she had a red...something? to her.

Nicholas isn't far away, so he hikes up to this intersection and uses Postcognition. And sure enough, he sees the girl appear. She's probably in her late teens, maybe 20 or 21, and she's definitely dressed for a good time. Nicholas sees confetti fall from her shoulders as she walks into the road, and notes a weird red aura around her, getting more intense as he stares. She doesn't acknowledge the cars, and even when Frank swerves to avoid her and crashes into Isaac's car, she doesn't react. She just vanishes again.

Nicholas puts all this into the chat, and Mercy does a quick internet search for any fatal car accidents around here - no dice. Britt points out that if she's a party girl, she might be a tourist - did her clothes look contemporary? Nicholas is hardly on the cutting edge of party-scene fashion, but yes, she did look like she was dressed in today's styles. Mercy narrows her focus a little and finds a report of a death a couple of weeks ago - there was a pop-up rave in a disused warehouse down by the waterfront, and after it was over someone called in an anonymous tip about a dead girl. The girl isn't named in the article, but it does say she was believed to have died of an overdose. Mercy heads back to the hospital and asks around, and learns that the girl was indeed found dead in that warehouse in the early morning hours of April 27. She had died of an overdose of "pink cocaine," and her tox screen was just bananas. She had since been identified as Charlotte Deneer, born in Anchorage, next of kin there, but with a local address.

Mercy talks to Carrie, a patrol officer she knows, and learns a little more. The rave was put on by two local party promoter types, and Seward Vice (which consists of one person) wants to talk to them, but they've skipped town. A guy named "DJ Killer Bigfoot" was performing and he was interviewed, but apparently put on his best "What? DRUGS you say?" act. No other arrests, as the place was abandoned before the police were called.

The envoys discuss a little. If she's a ghost, why? Lore is replete with stories of phantom hitchhikers, but she wasn't doing that, she just walked into the road, and that was several blocks from where she died. The envoys realize they need to know a bit more, and they'll probably have to talk to her roommates, if she has them. Amelia is best suited for that, and she's busy.

Nicholas, though, doesn't want to wait for Britt and Mercy to get done with their shifts. He heads to the warehouse and looks around. Police tape across the doors, and inside, a makeshift stage at the end of the room. Nicholas also notes confetti everywhere. He focuses and uses Postcognition again, and finds himself in the midst of the party. The music is deafening as DJ Killer Bigfoot (presently behind his setup with a fuzzy mask) plays, and Nicholas looks around and spots Charlotte. She dances a bit and then goes and sits down, and another girl follows her. They converse briefly and Nicholas can't hear them, but does notice the girl pull out a vial. They leave the room for a moment, and then come back. Charlotte half-heartedly dances a bit more, and then wanders over to the other end of the room, near the stage.

Nicholas follows, and sees her text something, but can't see what. He notes that she's between the stage and a table full of water bottles, and because of the way the lighting is she's in a bit of a blind spot. Charlotte collapses next to the stage, unnoticed, and a moment later the beat drops and DJ Killer Bigfoot hits a button that fires the confetti cannons. 

The vision fades, and Nicholas starts putting all this into the chat. There's no evidence of Unknown activity here, at least during the party. It looks like Charlotte just got sold the wrong hit and OD'd (Mercy's contacts have noted that it probably wasn't a bad batch, or they'd have seen more overdoses, but you never know). Nicholas notes that they need to identify the girl that gave her the drugs, and they need to figure out what she was texting.

Just then, a cop car pulls up and kicks Nicholas out of the warehouse. The cop doesn't care enough to check his ID, but does watch him as he walks away. The envoys still aren't sure the extent of this problem, but they do have a couple of avenues to explore.

Sunday, May 18, 2025

Character Creation: Mycelium Soup

MUSHROOM MUSHROOM

(badger badger badger etc)

The Game: Mycelium Soup
The Publisher: Kids in the Attic
Degree of Familiarity: None, but it ain't complicated
Books Required: Just the one

Mycelium Soup is one of those rare games that looks well-designed, art is fun, concept is tight, and I want nothing to do with it. That's no slam against the game, it's just that the game is about hunting and killing animals for meat, and while I may once have had a few players that would get into it, I know that it'd be a hard line for a bunch of my friends now (probably me, too, if I'm honest). 

If you told me this was from a TTRPG, I wouldn't assume it was something you play

But like I said, the game looks cool, so let's make a shroom hunter! (Not a shroom-hunter.)

This is a really quick process:


It's not on this list, but the first step is actually to pick a tribe. That effectively acts as your class; the picture of that horrible thing up there is a "Fungus Gourmand." I, however, wish to make a Thornweaver. Annnnd there's no spot for that on sheet. Not off to a great start, guys.

Well, anyway, I get to pick a Skill from Crafting Trapmaking, and Survival to get a +1. I shall pick Trapmaking. I get to split 3 points into Strength, Agility, and Wit (which isn't on the "Basics" list, either, c'mon, man). I'm gonna leave Strength at 0, put 2 in Agility and one in Wit. I get a vine rope and a spear, and I roll 1d6 for Meat (which acts as currency)...1. Well, just means I'm hungry.

My character's name is Skypierce. He's happy to set traps for catching land animals, but what he really wants is to catch flying creatures - birds and bats. Either's good. Bats have more meat, birds are slightly easy to trap, but mostly he just likes seeing things fall from the sky and wind up (eventually) in the Soup. 

And that's it! 

Friday, May 16, 2025

Movie #854: The Thomas Crown Affair

The Thomas Crown Affair is a heist/drama starring Pierce Brosnan, Rene Russo, Denis Leary, Faye Dunaway, and Ester Cañadas. It's a remake of a 1968 movie starring Steve McQueen and Dunaway, which I have not seen, but it has the worst trailer OMG.

ANYWAY. Thomas Crown (Brosnan) is a very rich, very handsome businessman who arranges to steal a Monet painting by hiring a bunch of thieves to rob the museum, letting them get caught, and swiping the painting in the chaos (he apparently uses Pym Particles to get it to fit in a briefcase, but whatever). New York Detective McCann (Leary) is on the case but doesn't much care; he has actual crimes worry about. Kickass insurance investigator (not words you normally hear in that order, I grant) Catherine Banning (Russo) is also on the case, and she's much more invested because she gets a 10% cut of the value of the returned good (which in this case would be something like $10 million). 

But really she's in it for the same reason Crown is - the thrill. She outright tells him she knows he did, he basically admits it and dares her to catch him, and they begin a game of cat-and-mouse that changes very quickly into the two of them naked on a marble staircase (and, look, feel whatever way you want about explicit sex scenes in movies, but sometimes they're sexy and sometimes they're ludicrous and sometimes they're just cringeworthy, and this one is very much in the first category). 

Interspersed with all of this, we have scenes with Crown in therapy with a psychologist (Dunaway), pointed out really obvious things - he doesn't trust people, he really doesn't trust women, and in Catherine he's found someone that he could potentially love but can never really trust (these scenes could have been cut, I think, they're just there to give Dunaway a role in this movie). At the end of everything, he goes to put the painting back and Catherine drops a dime, but it's all an elaborate reverse-heist! (And also a heist-heist, as he steals another painting.)

I like this movie, but I always forget that it's more "romantic drama" than "heist." It's not like Ocean's Eleven inasmuch as you get to see how the heist was done - Crown doesn't pull off heists with crackerjack timing and amazing skill, he does it with good planning and having a lot of money. As such, it can be a little hard to root for him because, like, he's a billionaire and fuck those guys, but that wouldn't have so much the case in 1999 when this came out. As far as non- or post-Bond Brosnan roles (his last Bond role was in 2002), I think The Tailor of Panama is a better film, but this is 100% sexier. 

Also, Crown is the title character, but Russo's Catherine Banning is the real star of the movie. Both she and Crown have arcs, but we get to see hers a little more clearly, and she has equals around her to play off of, while Crown is largely isolated (I'm sure that's deliberate, of course). 

My Grade: B+
Rewatch Value: Low

Next up: Thor

Wednesday, May 14, 2025

Character Creation: The Electric State

ZAP.

The Game: The Electric State
The Publisher: Free League
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

Evidently The Electric State is an art book. I haven't seen it, but the Kickstarter for the RPG looked cool and I know Free League games are pretty solid, so here we are. (I have not seen the movie with Chris Pratt but I'm reliably informed it kinda sucks.)

Anyway, The Electric State is a post-apocalyptic game in which the USA had a second Civil War in the 80s, balkanized, it's now the 90s, and by default we're in the nation of Pacifica (most of what is now California). The book briefly touches on the rest of the country and how it's split up, but makes no mention of my area of the country or anything east of that, which is weird because, like, there's a lot of stuff on the east coast. 

Either way, corporations, or more specifically Sentre, run everything. They've put out a product that lets people jack in to an augmented reality, and ever since Mode 6 came out people have been get steadily more addicted. They starve wearing their weird little helmets or the just kinda become zombies, stumbling around as their brains deteriorate. 

But the game has you undertaking a journey from Point A to Point B, and the length of the Journey is determined by how many Stops you make. Honestly it reminds me a lot of The Last Caravan, but it doesn't seem quite as tightly designed. The production values are amazing, though (as is typical for Free League) and it looks perfectly playable, and I think with the right group it'd be fun. 

So let's make a Traveler! This is...jesus, 17-step process. Some of them involve the group, though, so I shan't do them here. Step One, however, is to choose an archetype, and I can definitely do that! The Archetype write-ups all have a movie quote, which includes the character's name but not the movie, and I take issue with the one they used for The Artist because it's from Batman (1989) and it's attributed to Jack Napier, but it's from the scene in the art museum where he's talking to Vicki Vale which is clearly after he becomes the Joker. 

Anyway. I'm not gonna be an Artist. I'm gonna pick...Runaway Kid. Grant Pimer and his parents and uncle lived in a small town in northern California. He was born in...let's see, if we want to say he's 16 now, and the "now" of the game is 1996, I think? That means he was born in 1980. That's during the Second Civil War, so he probably has vague memories of it. Anyway, his town went into a steep decline, his parents and uncle got hooked on neurocasting, and when Mode 6 came out they just never unplugged. Grant tried to unplug them directly once, and his uncle kicked the shit out of him and told him to mind his business. So Grant left. 

There's, that's appropriately fuckin' bleak. Now for Attributes. I'm meant to roll a d6 for each one, rerolling any 1s I get. 3, 3, 3, 2. Well, I am a kid. I'll put the 2 into Strength, I guess. On the plus, side, since my total is less than 15 I get an extra Talent. Health is the average of Strength and Agility, rounded up, so 3. Hope is the average of Wits + Empathy, so also 3, but I can raise it if I take the Dreamer Talent so I'll hold off on that for the moment.

Speaking of which, that's the next step! There are three recommended Talents in each Archetype, but y'know, I have a pretty solid concept going so I'll pick. I get two, recall, since my stats suck. 

I don't think Dreamer really fits the character, but Hardened, which gives me a better chance to resist trauma, might. Likewise, Neuroresistant might explain how he avoided getting hooked along with his family. Nah, I think I like Hardened, and then I want something a little more physical so I'll take Stealthy.

Next up, we roll or choose Dream and Flaw. One of the options on the Archetype is "find a new home," and I think that's pretty good. I don't want Grant to be angry all the time, though I think that might be part of his arc (otherwise I might pick "smash the Electric State!" as his Dream). I will, in fact, take "anger issues" as his Flaw. 

Favorite 90s song! There's a list, and I note with some amusement that "Runaway Train" is not on it. I could take that as my favorite song, is that a little too on the nose? Nah, it's actually perfect. 

Describe your Traveler! OK, Grant is skinny and wiry because he doesn't eat much. His teeth are bad and he's going to need a dentist before long. He carries a backpack but tends to wear it in front, because that way no one can grab it if he has to run away. He's got dirty brown hair that's probably going to need to be shaved rather than untangled. 

Next step is name, but I did that. Neurocaster model...um, none, thanks. I'll take a knife as his personal item. I get d6 x $10 starting cash...hey, $50! That's pretty good in 1996 money.

Everything else would require a group, so that's Grant done! Feels like he should be getting somewhere.


 

Movie #853: Thirteen Ghosts

Thirteen Ghosts (or Thir13en Ghosts) is a kind of schlocky horror movie starring Tony Shalhoub, Matthew Lillard, F. Murray Abhraham, Rah Digga, Shannon Elizabeth, Embeth Davidtz, JR Bourne, and Alec Roberts. It's a remake-in-name-only of the 1960 William Castle flick, produced by Dark Castle (they of Ghost Ship and House on Haunted Hill).  

Arthur Kriticos (Shalhoub) is in mourning after losing his wife in a fire, and having trouble making ends meet, living with this teenage daughter Kathy (Elizabeth), young son Bobby (Roberts) and their...live-in babysitter Maggie (Rah Digga). How and why they afford her isn't really explained, and frankly it's not worth worrying about. 

Anyway, Arthur gets a visit from lawyer and walking wax statue Ben Moss (Bourne), who informs him that he's inherited his uncle Cyrus' house (Abraham - the uncle, not the house). We've already seen Cyrus hunting ghosts in a junkyard at this point so we know he is - was - a sonofabitch, but that's not important. The house is amazing, with glass walls and weird Latin inscriptions on the walls, floors, and ceilings. 

Also near the house is one Dennis Rafkin (Lillard), who turns out to be a psychic that hunted ghosts with Cyrus and is just here for the money he's owed. But they all get stuck in the house that is slowly opening doors and releasing the titular 13 ghosts (well, twelve of them, we'll get to that), the members of the "Black Zodiac." Turns out the whole house is a machine "designed by the Devil and powered by the dead," which when completed and catalyzed by a willing living sacrifice (the 13th ghost), will open the Eye of Hell giving whoever controls is limitless knowledge. Cyrus is still alive, by the way, and is skulking around the house with...I guess makeup making his throat look slit? I'm not entirely sure why, however, other than for a couple of cheap jump scares.

And boy howdy, "cheap jump scare" is the name of the game, here. Most of the movie is shot in slow motion as the actors walk through the space, the ghosts flickering in and out of visibility. Sometimes they just stand there and look menacing, but a few of them don't fuck around and just run straight at people and physically attack them. Anyway, at the end of it all, Academy Award winner F. Murray Abraham gets through into the machine and cut to bits, the house explodes, and the ghosts get to go free, which for most of them seems like a really bad idea, but whatever. 

Much like Ghost Ship and House of Wax, this movie is terrible and I thoroughly enjoy it. A lot of why I love it is my own horror predilections - there are any number of RPGs you could do this movie with and have Arthur, Maggie, Kathy, and Kalina (Davidtz) as PCs (actually my first thought would be Dread). But what I really love is the amount of work and backstory that went into the Black Zodiac - each one has a name, a history, and an explanation for why they look so fucked up. It's not all A-material - The Torso used to be a small time gambler called...Jimmy "The Gambler" Gambino - but someone clearly had a lot of fun coming up with these little stories and then translating them to the screen. Having written supernatural investigation stories and having needed to come up with that kind of backstory, I appreciate the work.

Also, Matthew Lillard is just a goddamn delight in this movie. His character Rafkin is psychic, but not the fun kind where he gets to be all mysterious. His abilities actively hurt. If he touches someone, he gets a flash of their worst moments, and Lillard does a fantastic job of committing that bit, avoiding contact with other people in every shot he's in and wincing if it happens. Also can't nobody drool painfully like Matthew Lillard, which is a weirdly specific skill, but hey, gotta play to your strengths.

My Grade: C (it is not a good movie, but the production design is fantastic)
Rewatch Value: High 

Next up: The Thomas Crown Affair

Tuesday, May 13, 2025

Movie #852: Shark Night

Shark Night is a horror movie directed by David Elllis (the genius behind Snakes on a Plane), and starring Dustin Milligan, Sara Paxton, Joel David Moore, Katherine McPhee, Sinqua Walls, Chris Carmack, Donal Logue, Joshua Leonard, Alyssa Diaz, and Chris Zylka. 

Sara (Paxton) takes seven of her buds to her lake house on a...lake in Louisiana (a salt water lake, which becomes important). On the way there, her football played chum Malik (Walls) nearly gets into a fight with two rednecks, one of whom is just drunk and stupid (Leonard), but the other, Dennis, is beefy, scarred, and pretty intense (Carmack). Sara and said drunks clearly have history - she's local but hasn't been here in years - but it's all good, let's go party!

So while waterskiing, Malik is pulled into the water and has his arm torn off. He manages to make it to shore where his tutor and chum Nick (Milligan) binds his wounds (he's a med student or something), and while diving into the water to retrieve his severed arm (which he manages to fucking find), he sees a shark.

A shark. In the lake. Like I said, salt-water lake, so it makes perfect sense. 

What follows is technically a natural horror movie; there are multiple sharks of multiple species in the lake, and the rednecks (who are in cahoots with the local sheriff (Logue)) put them there! To film it, snuff-film style, when the sharks eat people! Which they totally do! Eventually it comes out that Sara and Dennis were lovers and used to dive together, and Sara ran out of air and Dennis didn't help her and then she wound up slicing up his face with a propeller and now he holds a grudge...it's all very wibbly. Anyway, Sara and Nick are clearly our Final Girl & Boy from the jump, so everybody else gets sharked to death.

I said that Shark Night is technically a natural horror movie, but really it's structure more like a slasher film. Natural horror usually contains some theming around man's intrusion into the natural world, and focuses on the animal hunting or generally doing its thing, but there, the sharks are very clearly a weapon used by the human antagonist. I don't think that's good or bad, though if it was deliberate (it may not have been) I wish it had been underlined a little more.

But really, if we're wishing things about this movie, I have a list: I wish it had been rated R (fun fact: Snakes on a Plane was originally going to be PG-13, and it was internet chatter and Samuel L. Jackson that turned it into the cinematic fucking tour-de-force that it is). I wish that Sara had been in on the con and been happily feeding her friends to the sharks. I wish that some of the bits that were cut (there's a bit with Nick eating drugged soup that just gets glossed over and then he just passes out and you're like "wait what?"). I wish that the only Black character hadn't been a football player, named "Malik," and winds up hunting a shark with a goddamn spear. 

I'm fine, however, with the general stupidity of the movie, the sharks behaving exactly nothing like sharks really do, and glossing right over how these morons managed to capture multiple very large sharks that live in very different habitats and transport them into a lake big enough to sustain them but that they could keep them contained. And feeding Katherine McPhee to cookiecutter sharks was a nice touch.

My Grade: D
Rewatch Value: Medium-high

Next up: Thirteen Ghosts

Saturday, May 10, 2025

Character Creation: Slugblaster

Radical! Cowabunga! Turtles!

The Game: Slugblaster: Kickflip Over a Quantum Centipede
The Publisher: Wilkie's Candy Lab
Degree of Familiarity: None, sadly, but it's basically Forged in the Dark
Books Required: Just the one

OK, now, I know the title of this thing sounds like someone had a stroke, but it's actually a pretty dope little game. Shades of Misspent Youth here, but the tone is less dire (not that Misspent Youth is necessarily always dire, but there's a harder edge to it than this). Slugblaster has you taking the role of teens in Null, a dimension that is perfectly livable but just kinda bland. Fortunately, dimensional travel is now a thing, and you and your chums can zip through spots where the barriers between worlds are thin and like do sick ollies and stuff.

So yes, there's a big skateboarding aesthetic here, and the vibe is very much 90s, so the game occupies a weird quasi-nostalgia - I remember the 90s, of course, but I was in college for most of it so it doesn't have the same feeling for me as a game set (or reminiscent of) the 80s. 

But this game looks like a good time, and it has hands down one of the best examples of play I've ever seen, nicely threading the needle between "this is how a game session feels" and "recreating every stupid comment everyone at an actual game session makes" (look at you, Rockopolis). So let's make a slugblaster!

First up, we pick a Personality. Wouldn't it be nice if we could pick that? Anyway, Personality is basically your playbook here. 

Hmm. I was leaning toward The Grit, but then I note that The Chill has a trait called "Um, Guys?" meant to represent noticing shit that others don't, and that's just too cool to pass up, so I'ma be The Chill. 

As part of this step, I define Look, Family, Bond, Vibe, Traits, and Gear. Some of these have random tables and you know I love those! Let's roll for Look! This is a d66 roll, and I can take as many as I want. I roll 2 and 6, which read one way gives me "provocative" and another way gives me "glasses." I'm fine with glasses, but provocative isn't my usual jam. Actually, sure, let's say that my guy is annoyingly, effortlessly hawt, tends to dress in short shorts and tight tees (with safety padding, of course, when he's slugblasting), and just kinda manages to make it look like he is dtf. He actually kinda isn't - I suspect he's not opposed, but it's not his priority. But jesus. "Either kiss me or put some clothes on" is something that's been said to him at least once. (His response is probably "huh?") I think he wears round glasses with gold frames, but he forgets them a lot.

Family! Another two dice roll (not quite d66, because there aren't that many options). Possibilities come up "poor" or "supportive," and I think it'd be cool if he lived with his aunt. He's not sure where his parents are; she told him they died when he was a baby, but he has some vague memories of parental people? But maybe that was his aunt and a boyfriend or something? Probably not important. We'll say she's both poor and supportive.

Bond! This is normally something that would interconnect with all the PCs, but it's just me, so let's say we're all (roll...2) mutual goals! Huh. Not something that goes with The Chill easily, but I dig it. He and the other members of his crew all want the same thing, which implies that we have some shared history, and I think it'd be neat if it involves my character's parents in some way. Hell, maybe we all have the same dad and we didn't know about each other until we were all teens, and we're trying to find him and have a Talk. 

Vibes! No tables this time. Oh, wait, no, there is one, it's just with the Personality write-up. Cool! "Always eating a bag of chips." I'm down. I think they're sun chips or something kinda grainy like that, stuff that doesn't have a lot of flavor on its own, but really, dude, if you eat fifty or sixty they start to taste kinda good! I think an ongoing bit would be "where are you keeping those?" ("huh?")

Traits! Actually "trait," as I just get one to start. I already know I want Umm...Guys?

Stuff! I get a raygun, a phone, a hoverboard, and one special personality item. Oh, it's "something I found on the way here." Let's say it's a bottle of some kind of drink, bottlecap still on, but the label is in a language we've never seen. I also get two pieces of gear from a list. And they're helpfully printed on the sheet, nice! I'll take a mask and a spacetime amp. 

I get to roll stuff for a raygun...but do I want a raygun? This guy seems pretty nonviolent. Maybe I'll say it just doesn't do lethal damage. Rolling some dice, I get "maser projector", and I'm good with that. My "raygun" looks like a toaster with a handle and a trigger, and it sends out infrared or microwave beams. It could do real damage to a living thing, but only if you stood there and let it cook you. Mostly it just makes a beam of uncomfortably hot energy. Great for driving away things trying to eat you, or even disguising one's heat signature (which I seriously doubt my guy has thought of). 

Board! I get a hoverboard. Let's start with make and shape. Rolling 3.6 gives me a wave, which is huge and looks like a surfboard. I'm game. Grip color: Either classic black or clear. I like clear, and I like if my guy is always losing it. But there's a mosaic pattern carved into it, not inked or colored. You can only see if there's light behind it and you're staring right. It's got a spirally pattern that makes you think, man. (Or gives you a headache, depends on the day.)

And that's it, basically, other than name. Let's say his name is Armand Lambden, but his buds call him Waves. Some of that is because he's got more of a surfer than skater vibe, but some of it is because he'll wave at everyone. Friend, stranger, ravenous beast, s'all good. His crew has learn that if you want Waves to not give away your position, you need to tell him, probably more than once. 

Waves is blond, built like a swimmer, and is really, really pretty. He always has a bag of those chips, and no one's really sure where he's keeping them. No one ever seems to see him pull a bag out of anything, but if you look away from Waves you'll hear cronch in a second. 

That'll do it! I do like this game, I'd love to run it at some point.