Character Creation: Dinosaur Princesses

I mean, I'm amazed it's taken me this long to pull this one out. 

The Game: Dinosaur Princesses
The Publisher: Ardens Ludere
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

Writing an RPG for kids is a challenge. Doing one "for all ages" is even more so, because it has to be on a child's cognitive level but still interesting enough for adults. I've seen any number of "kids'" RPGs that are just D&D with a cutesy aesthetic, but the focus on combat is still there. (I tried to avoid that for the kids' game I wrote, but I wasn't really trying to make it for all ages, anyway.)

So then there's Dinosaur Princesses, which, I think, hits the right notes. You're playing a dinosaur who is also a princess, kind of, but "princess" is just a placeholder for "a job that you do." The game is meant to emulate a Saturday morning cartoon, and honestly as I was reading it I could totally see the animation style (something between Get-Along Gang and Don Bluth, I think). The system is present and involves rolling dice, but it's not so complicated that it'll bore kids or other folks who aren't interested in minutiae, and the game incorporates facets of RPGs that a new generation of players should be learning from the get-go (fail forward, safety tools, being a fan of the players, etc.). 

So let's make a frickin' dino-princess! 

What is your name? My name is Bonk. 

What are your pronouns? He/him.

What type of dinosaur are you? Pachycelphasaurus, thanks very much.

Choose two words that describe your strengths as a dinosaur. Hmm. Bonk is strong and loud. 

What type of princess are you? I want Bonk to be a Builder (he's really more on the demolition side of things, but you've gotta knock down to have the room to build up!). 

Choose words that describe your strengths as a princess. Bonk is hard-working and loyal. 

I picture Bonk as the brash, blustery, "fighter" in the cartoon, a la Rocko on Pink Panther & Sons or Hefty Smurf. But this being a cartoon, he's not actually going to fight-fight. He'll just talk a lot of G-rated trash, and then maybe slam his head against something and knock it down or knock down a wall or what. I want him to have a friend named "Gronk" or "Honk," mostly so I could have him say "MESS WITH THE HONK, YOU GET THE BONK!" I figure he wearing overalls and a reflector vest, but doesn't bother with a hard hat (he had on, but his head kept breaking it). He speaks with a kind of light Brooklyn accent, and he'll get in between danger and his friends (or what he perceives as danger, which, like, "smart" isn't one of his words, OK?). 

And that's it!

Character Creation: Liberté

Appropriately, it's been pouring down rain all day. On we go!

The Game: Liberté
The Publisher: GMDK
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one 

This game is kind of a heartbreaker. Here's the back cover text:

Simple, evocative, compelling. It sets up expectations for the game right away. Once you get into reading the game, though, there are a couple of red flags. One is that it uses a "modified" PbtA system. Look, all games based on PbtA are "modified," because the strength of the system, from a design perspective, is its customizability. But with that said, there are some principles that, if you change them, do kind of upset the balance. Liberté changes the target number from 7 to 8, which skews probability, but it also changes the results from miss/partial/complete to miss/perfect/excessive. It also calls moves "childities", which isn't a word, is hard to say, and doesn't tell you a thing. 

Reading through the rest of the book, the game just really failed to grab me. There are elements that grabbed me. I love the setting of the city with no adults, forever in the rain, with the monstrous sirains just outside the gate, but then the game fails to capitalize on it. There's a lot of table-created specificity, and that's cool, but I feel like this game might have benefited more from a Blades in the Dark like approach; describe the city of Liberté a little more and let the group make up details within that. 

I dunno. It's a bummer because there's a lot I like about it, but I kept thinking of how the moves (sorry, childities) would look at the table and I wasn't really feeling it. 

But hey, let's make a character and see what that does. First thing I need to do is choose an archetype. Let's see. 

You know, one thing that some PbtA games do that I really think I'd love to see in all of them is the bit where they say "play this archetype/playbook/skin if you want to X." I think that's good on a design level, too; helps you figure out what the niche for each splat is. 

Anyway, I pick...the Li'l One, how about. Ages for PCs aren't really specified, but the archetype seems to be about vulnerability and the kind of parental instinct the character triggers in others. I can get behind that. 

Normally the first step would be filling in a questionnaire about the city and the inhabitants and so forth, but that's a full-group thing so I'll skip it. First step in chargen is a name ("how they call me" - did I mention this game is translated from French?). I'll say my character is called Bubba. It's what his parents (were there ever parents?) used to call him, or anyway, it's what he says if you ask him his name. 

Next is "how they see me." I'm meant to circle however many of these I like, I guess? 

See if you can spot the problem here. Guess someone should have shelled out for sensitivity readers. 

Anyway, for Bubba I'm gonna choose small boy, disheveled, dirty, and unremarkable. He's everyone's little brother. He doesn't say much. 

Next, "what is mine." I'll pick "old plushie with a torn eye". Maybe he has the Hippo of Refuge? Nah, I'll say he's got a stuffed bear (can't beat the classics). It may once have been yellow or tan, but it's brown and dirty now. It's missing an eye and the thread on its nose is unraveling. Bubba calls it "little bear."

Let's see. I don't choose any moves childities Learnings, I just get going unnoticed and a child's heart. That lets me do stealthy things, which...why on earth isn't that standard? Especially since there are no stats, so everyone has the same chances if they use another move? Weird. Anyway, a child's heart lets me play to lose Bile, which is basically what will eventually give you Mildew and turn you into a monster (the game acts like it's a big new system, and I'm like yo, did you read Masks? Or Monsterhearts?). 

Last thing, then, is "my so-called friends." (See, that's a loaded statement. Is there any mechanical support for these relationships? Fuckin' nope.) I'm encouraged to apply these to other PCs, but y'know, just me. I'll choose someone who protects me from trouble. We'll say there's an older girl who doesn't really like Bubba, but she refuses to let him get hurt so she's stepped in to protect him or help him sometimes. Bubba doesn't know her name, he just calls her "Her."

And, what the heck, I'll take playmate who takes me on crazy adventures. Xavier is older than Bubba, and likes to tell him what to do and show him cool stuff (and sometimes scary stuff, but that makes Bubba cry and that's only funny so many times). Bubba calls him "Dayber" because "Xavier" is too hard to say. 

And that's it! I have so many grumbles with this game.

Board Game: Shinobi Clans

Those darn ninjas. They're wacky. 

This guy gets it.

The Game: Shinobi Clans
The Publisher: Posthuman Studios
Time: 45 minutes, I think?
Players: Me, Michelle, Sarah, Amanda

Game Play: The basic idea is that you're all heads of ninja clans working to assassinate or protect folks, and you get gold based on whether you meet those goals. Simple enough. We start off with three targets and a reward for each of them (drawn from their respective decks).

The Shogun showed up every round, so everyone wants to topple the king, I guess.

Everyone decides on two targets, and you can either aim to kill or guard (but not both at once; like, you could say kill the Shogun and guard the Ronin, but not kill and guard the Shogun). Deal some cards, draft some cards (pick one to keep, pass to the left, etc.) and then actual play starts.

Cards get played on top of the target, face down. Said cards can be assassins or guardians, specialists that have wonky effects (f'rex, there's a bomber that removes the card below it), meddlers that change the rewards, and weapons. Weapons get played to the right (if assassination) or the left (if guardian), and get put into "slots". 

Kinda like this

And then when a round ends, you start flipping the stack over, top to bottom. Each assassin and guardian has a rating, weapons add to it, total up the kill vs guard ratio. If the target dies, anyone who chose to try and kill 'em splits the reward, if not, anyone who guarded them does. Highest gold total after three rounds wins.

Opinions: First of all, the card artwork is gorgeous. Text on a few cards is a little hard to read against the color backdrop, but not hugely so. 

The game play is very smooth once you get the hang of it, and the strategies present themselves pretty quickly. You can pay attention to where other people are playing cards - if someone plays a weapon into an assassination slot, it's a safe bet they don't want that dude to survive. But knowing that there's a weapon there doesn't necessarily tell you anything - some weapons do no damage but have other effects (like eliminating weapons from an opposing slot). 

Another issue is that everyone decides to attack/guard the same target, great, there's no opposition, but it means you're splitting the reward. Going for a harder task means a potentially bigger payday (and killing gets you more money because it's ostensibly harder than guarding), but if you're the only one trying to kill the Old Dirty Bastard Master Ninja, then everyone else is shoring up his defenses. 

As might be apparent, the game is engaging and fun, but it's not complex enough to be impossible to play if you're, say, tired after cooking the whole previous day. 

Keep? Yep.

Food for the Oscar Gods

I have to say, it's really gratifying that Oscar night is the favorite holiday of some of my closest friends. This year, things were a little more subdued as far as the amount of preparation that went in to the dinner, inasmuch as the ingredients weren't dreadfully expensive and most of the dishes were pretty easy prep (with one exception). For all that, though, everyone was well-fed and happy, and that's all I want for my friends. 

Here's the menu:

• The Trial of the Chicago 7: A Tom Collins, 'cause it's fuckin' delicious. 
• Sound of Metal: Cheese & herb "drumsticks".
• Mank: Vichysoisse, both because it was a staple in restaurants at the time and because it's, erm, white.
• Minari: Spicy stir-fried eggplant (we wanted to make the titular veggie, but it's not really available in Cleveland).
• The Father: Roast chicken with veggies.
• Judas & the Black Messiah: PORK CHOP SANDWICHES.
• Nomadland: 4-egg cake.
• Promising Young Woman: Ruby chocolate mousse cubes. 

The exception I mentioned above was the ruby chocolate thingies, so that was mostly Michelle's dealie, since she's the pastrymancer of the family. She made the bottom layer (flourless chocolate cake) on Friday, but I didn't get any pictures there. 

Saturday, though! She made the raspberry gel, froze it, cut out little circles, and assembled them with the cake to put in the cubie things and back in the freezer.

A-like so.

 And then filled them with the mousse.

Yes, there are Letterkenny magnets on my fridge.

I was not idle during the time, of course. Since vichysoisse can be served warm or cold, we decided to make it on Saturday and try it warm, and then try it cold on Sunday, and see which we liked more. I'd never made or tasted it before - this was really my only point of reference. I had Jenn slice the taters and leeks:

CHOP CHOP CHOP

And then put 'em in a Dutch oven with some broth and simmered them for a while. This is the easiest damn soup. 

In the meanwhile, Michelle made the dough for the cheese straws, I sliced them up (Michelle managed to slice her finger, as is tradition for Oscars, so some delicate finger-work had to be handed off). 

And into the oven wi ye!

Long about now the veggies in the soup were tender, so time to bust out the Saw torture device (i.e., immersion blender) and turn it into, well, soup. 

I want to play a game.

That was basically it for Saturday, or at least that's all I took pictures of. I made simple syrup in there somewhere for the cocktails, but like, that's water boiling on a stove, so just picture it.

Sunday! Back to work on the gelatinous cubes. Michelle made the ruby chocolate coating:

Measure twice, melt once.

BLORP

Terri halps

And decorated with violets from the yard, and raspberry dust.

No rest for the weary (just another day grindin' up stones), though. Michelle got started on the cake. 

Sift, mix, etc.

 And then a bit of a time jump until the cakes were out of the oven and getting drizzled. 

Yes, they're a little cracked, but like, it's not supposed to be fancy.

The drizzle came at a terrible cost.

 Again, though, I was not lazy during all of this. I had chickies to cook. 

Chickies.

Beds for chickies.

Chickies, stuffed and trussed.

And from there, into the oven! 

And from here, we enter the the point in the proceedings when I'm too busy cooking to take pictures, so let's just cut to the finished products, shall we? 

I did take a picture of the cubes, but it apparently didn't save to my phone, so instead here's a picture of a very hopeful doggo:

Can haz pork chop smammich?

Character Creation: Wield

I find myself with a bit of time before I need to jump into the next stage of cooking for Oscars dinner, and this is quick. 

The Game: Wield
The Publisher: John Wick Presents
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

So, Wield is a focused little game, one might even say a bit gimmicky. You play an object - a magical, cursed (well, self-aware, anyway) object with an agenda. The more power you give the wielder, though, the more control they have over you and the more likely they are to know how to destroy you. The GM (sorry, "Fate") plays the wielders as NPCs, so I imagine in play it would live or die on the strength of the players and whether they enjoy manipulating from afar. 

Anyway, let's make a thing. I want my object (it's called a vachta in setting) to be a harpoon. That's step one of chargen, in fact.

Next I choose up to three Domains. I want Water, obviously, and I'll take Destruction as well.

Next up, a Goal! My Goal is going to be to Kill the Eldest Sea-Dragon. The Sea-Dragon is an immense, god-like creature, capable of wreaking havoc on the sea and the land, and my harpoon feels it is destined to pierce the thing's heart. It's not that simple, though. Goals have four steps, and in my case they are:

1. Find the Sea-Dragon's weak spot
2. Find a Hero strong enough to hurl the harpoon
3. Find the Sea-Dragon's resting place
4. Bless the Hero with the gift of breathing water

The next step would be history & connections, which would require other players, so I'm gonna skip it. 

Next, I have to decide how I can be destroyed. I'll say that harpoon can only be destroyed by throwing it from the world's highest mountain - the furthest place from the depths of the sea. 

And now I choose a name. The harpoon is called the Sea-Piercer in the legends that speak of it.

The last thing would be to receive a Wielder from the GM and decide how much control it gets. I think I'd probably just give my wielder two powers at Rank One and build from there, but again, no GM, so I'm gonna skip this.

And that's me done! The Sea-Piercer is an old, heavy, harpoon, with an iron blade and a handle made of black wood. It gives its wielder a constant taste of salt and a hunger for fish. 

Oscars...IN APRIL?!

What a fucking weird year, as evidenced by the fact that I'm still talking about 2020 as though it's happening. Its influence reverberates through our lives like the stench of a particularly foul dog burp, and indeed, here I am doing my annual Oscars post in April rather than February. So come, shadow people in my head, let us scamper through the grim mire of this year's nominations. 

Actually, for all that, there are some good films nominated this year. I know Bill Maher bitched about how they're all depressing, but like, that's the kind of thing you say if you don't really pay attention to the Oscars - they're always like that. I will say, though, that there are almost no light movies on offer this year (at least in the categories I watched) - Borat Subsequent Moviefilm is, of course, a comedy, but beyond that we get into Another Round and Promising Young Woman, both of which have comedic elements but are hardly comedies. 

But, the good news is that there was a hell of lot more diversity across the board, both in terms of POC getting nominated for acting awards (still pretty shy on Latinx folks, though) and a historic two whole women nominated for Best Director! 

I'm probably the millionth person to say this, but it'll be interesting to see what happens with movies in general going forward. The festering hell that was 2020 changed the landscape in a lot of ways, not all of them negative, so we'll see what happens when theaters start to reopen more. Me, I'm just looking forward to going to see Mortal Kombat next week.

Let's do some prediction!

Best Actor: Alas, poor Chadwick Boseman. If I'm being honest, I think he really should have been nominated for Supporting Actor here (and really, I guess I'll make Ma Rainey's Black Bottom my yearly grouse about how we need an Ensemble Cast award), but this is, unfortunately, the last chance the Academy will have to honor him. This happened waaaaay back in 2009 with Heath Ledger, too, and back then, I posed the same question I will now: Discounting the fact that Boseman won't get another chance, does he still deserve the award? 

He's up against some pretty solid contenders, granted. Anthony Hopkins' performance in the The Father was gut-wrenching (but then, dementia is one of my hot buttons anyway). Steven Yuen also turned in an amazing performance in Minari (which is another movie making a strong argument for an Ensemble Cast award). I don't think either of them are going to win, however, which leaves two more nominees: Riz Ahmed and Gary Oldman. 

Of the two, my choice would be Ahmed, hands down. Pushing yourself as an actor doesn't need to be about nearly dying of malnutrition or eating bison liver. Ahmed is a musician, but he's not a metal musician, and the type of music here was different for him. Not to mention learning sign and portraying someone joining, and then ultimately rejecting and being rejected by the Deaf community - there's a lot there. Meanwhile, Oldman turns in another good performance in Mank, but like, he was too old for the role, and the "arty Hollywood back-pat" movie gets through into sharper relief when the other ones feel so much more topical. 

My Choice: Riz Ahmed, but it's close
My Prediction: Chadwick Boseman, which is fine

Best Actress: Not to sound like a stuck record, but why is Viola Davis here instead of in Supporting Actress? (Same reason Boseman is in Best Actor, I guess.) Her performance was goddamn amazing, sure, and apparently there's some talk she might win, or tie(!) with Carey Mulligan. The third real contender is, of course, Frances McDormand, and she very much anchors Nomadland. Nomadland might also benefit from more eyes on it, since it's gotten buzz, I guess? 

In any event, I don't think Andra Day or Vanessa Kirby have much of a shot. The United States vs. Billie Holiday is another installment in the "amazingly talented musician faces hardship and drug addiction" saga, with the added element of the US government declaring war on her, but its pacing is a hot mess. Likewise, Pieces of a Woman has some strong scenes, but the transition from play to movie didn't go especially well.

So we're left with Mulligan, Davis, and McDormand. Of the three, I think Mulligan deserves the win, but I don't know how to call this. But, then again, four predictive awards all went to different nominees, so who the fuck knows?

My Choice: Carey Mulligan
My Prediction: Carey Mulligan or Viola Davis...OR MAYBE BOTH

Best Supporting Actor: Here it gets weird again. Daniel Kaluuya and Lakeith Stanfield are both nominated here for Judas & The Black Messiah, but like, Stanfield is very much the star of the movie and the POV character, so really he and Boseman should swap categories. Sacha Baron Cohen is fun to watch as Abbie Hoffman, and he manages to not quite steal the movie. Leslie Odom, Jr., turned in a great performance in One Night in Miami..., but I would rather the nomination go to Aldis Hodge (but then, I'm a Leverage fan, so). 

Then we've also got Paul Raci in Sound of Metal, who does a great job of not only playing his role, but showing the audience (and Ahmed's character) into the Deaf community (Raci himself is hearing, but his parents are deaf so he's fluent in ASL). And who's the Academy going to pick? I think they're gonna go with Kaluuya, because I think they'll want to recognize Get Out (finally, look, I hate it too, but that's how it works). I bet we'll see Stanfield in Best Actor sooner rather than later, though.

My Choice: Paul Raci
My Prediction: Daniel Kaluuya

Best Supporting Actress: I shame to admit, I haven't seen Hillbilly Elegy. I have no real excuse, other than I just didn't want to watch another drama this week and I don't figure Glenn Close is going to win for the performance for which she was also nominated for a Razzie. Actually this race is considered a lock for Youn Yuh-jung for Minari, and perhaps the Academy can, by giving this first Oscar to a Korean actress, shed some of the guilt they carry for not nominating any of the cast of Parasite for acting awards. 

Ahem. Our other nominees are Olivia Coleman and Amanda Seyfried, both of whom performed their roles perfectly, and Maria Bakalova, the breakout star of Borat 2. If anyone other than Yuh-jung takes it I'd like it to be her, but I don't think there's much of chance of that. 

My Choice & Prediction: Youn Yuh-jung

Best Director: What an interesting spread this year. White dudes in the minority, whaaaaat. Look, I love David Fincher, but fuck me, I hope he doesn't win for Mank. He's done much more interesting work, and any of the other nominees would be more deserving. He's not going anywhere, so the Academy will get another chance, I'm sure. He's not favored to win (every prediction I've seen is for Chloé Zhao), but if there's an upset I bet it'll be his. Blah. 

So, Zhao. How do we feel about that? Of the remaining nominees, I think I'd be fine with any of them winning (maybe not Thomas Vinterberg, as much as I liked Another Round, but that's gonna win International Feature so that's fine). Lee Isaac Chung's very personal story comes across in Minari, and Emerald Fennell fucking knocked it out of the park with Promising Young Woman. In terms of the direction of the movie, though, I have to agree with the buzz - this is where Zhao should get honored. 

My Choice & Prediction: Chloé Zhao

Best Animated Film: I mean, Soul, right? That's gonna win? Pixar rarely loses, and they have two movies on offer this year (one of which, Onward, was the last movie I saw in theaters before the pandemic closed everything down). Of the others, I freaking loved Wolfwalkers, and I enjoyed A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon more than I thought I would. I wasn't crazy about Over the Moon - it felt cutesy and saccharine, which is a weird complaint for animated movies but Pixar et al have been raising the bar for a while now. 

I have to say, though, that if Wolfwalkers isn't going to win (it's not), I'd rather see it go to Onward. I liked Soul, don't get me wrong, but it felt...I don't know, disjointed? Not as smooth as other Pixar movies? I saw the emotions they were trying to evoke, but Onward did a better job hitting the mark. 

My Choice: Wolfwalkers
My Prediction: Soul

Best Adapted Screenplay: Borat Subsequent Moviefilm is nominated here, and Borat the First One With the Long Title was also nominated for a screenplay Oscar. So maybe? The Father and One Night in Miami... are both plays adapted to the screen and they feel like it; of the two I feel like One Night makes the transition better. That leaves Nomadland and The White Tiger. The latter felt a bit like an Adam McKay movie to me, what with the fourth wall breaks and the casual, chatty approach to some pretty dark material. Nomadland, meanwhile, is based on a nonfiction book so the adaptation is mostly about adding a story arc (though I will note that almost all of the actors other than McDormand and David Strathairn are playing fictionalized versions of themselves).

What does all of that mean? I don't know. I feel like if voters are going straight ticket for Chloé Zhao she might win here, too, but then, Sacha Baron Cohen might take it just because his speech would be fun. I'm seeing predictions going a few different ways, so I'll take the safe route.

My Choice: One Night in Miami...
My Prediction: Nomadland

Best Original Screenplay: It's Fennell's to lose. I don't think she's taking Director or Best Picture, and I think this is likely to be the best place to honor Promising Young Woman. I think, too, that the script is the strength, here (that and Mulligan's performance). That's not to say that Minari, Judas & The Black Messiah, Sound of Metal, or The Trial of the Chicago 7 aren't deserving, but like, they're all pretty straightforward or historical stories. I'd like to see the uncomfortable, weird, quasi black comedy that doesn't take an easy ending take this trophy.

My Choice & Prediction: Promising Young Woman

Best Picture: Normally I'd try for 10 films on the prediction list, but I haven't seen all of the Cinematography noms (and I never know how to judge that one anyway) and I haven't seen any of the movies on the Visual Effects list because this year was so goddamn weird. So here we go!

I actually really enjoyed all of the Best Picture nominees, save one. Enjoying a movie isn't the same thing as finding it significant or even rewatchable, of course - I don't know if I'd be excited to re-watch any of the Best Picture noms. There are quite a few milestones this year, as far as nomination goes, and Netflix and Amazon have both come forward as content creators to be reckoned with. It's all very new. 

One of the big questions about the Oscars is always: Who cares? There's money to be made, of course; normally studios spend big to get nominations and/or wins, and of course we know that people win for past films as well as the current ones. Careers get rewards as often as individual movies, and actors, especially win because "it's time" rather than because "holy shit this was amazing."

But for all of that, the Oscars remain a bright spot of the year for me. The awards are interesting as a zeitgeist, and if you really want to learn something, you have to take them into account with a lot of other factors (like, say, the fucking pandemic). Not every year is significant, but it kinda feels like this one is. 

So what does that mean for the noms? I think we can safely discount The Father. It's good, it's moving, but it's another Alzheimer's story, and it's hardly breaking new ground. I think, likewise, we can count out Minari (I know, I said that about Parasite, too, but Minari doesn't have the same bite, and it'll get its props in other categories). 

I don't think The Trial of the Chicago 7 or Judas & The Black Messiah are winning it. Yes, I know, the Academy loves rewarding movies that make them feel like they're fighting racism, but that tends to me white savior narratives, and neither of these movies are that. Then again, will the depiction of the FBI straight up executing Fred Hampton be enough? I don't think it will, but if it's one of these two I think it's likely to be Judas. 

But really, I think it's a three-way between Promising Young Woman, Nomadland, and Mank. Mank, BTW, was the one I didn't much like. I'm not saying it wasn't an interesting story, or that the movie isn't solid, I'm just kinda over the formula here. If you want to tell a story about old-timey Hollywood, get into the dirty stuff (Mank waves at it, but doesn't really dig). Also, Oldman was miscast. Mank was in his 40s or late 30s during the events of the movie (it jumps around in time a bit), and while Oldman could pass for 50s, he's actually 63 and I don't buy it. Particularly not when Tuppence Middleton is playing his wife, and she's in her 30s. The age gaps between him and his co-stars are notable and it just looks weird. 

Anyway, most of the predictions I'm seeing have Nomadland taking it. I enjoyed Promising Young Woman more, but I'm reflecting on whether that's because the script was more dialog-heavy and presented an ongoing reveal of what really happened that night (but the true events are never shown), which kept my interest. Nomadland is a slower, more subtle and sprawling movie, more a depiction of a lifestyle than a real story. But, as more and more Americans face economic hardship, is it, perhaps, the more relevant? Would Promising Young Woman have hit harder if it had come out two years ago? (But then, if it had, would it have been buried under the many other releases?)

It's hard to know. My gut says Promising Young Woman, so that's what I'm going with.

My Choice: Promising Young Woman
My Prediction: Nomadland

Character Creation: Red Markets

I know, bit of a gap, sorry shadow-people in my head. Oscars season, watching a lot of movies lately. Also articles missing from sentences. Very strange.

The Game: Red Markets
The Publisher: Hebanon Games
Degree of Familiarity: None, I've just read the book
Books Required: Just the one

Back when GenCon took place in person and I felt like I could go, there were approximately a zillion sessions of Red Markets getting run, and now that I've actually read the game I'm kicking myself that I never played one. Normally, when I'm reading a game for this project, especially one this freaking big (the book is about 500 pages), I just read enough of the setting and system to understand it and spend most of the time reading the chargen.

Red Markets, though, I started reading from the beginning figuring I'd just read the setting until I got bored, but like, I didn't. The setting chapter is written in character from the perspective of Gnat, a hacker and programmer who inadvertently made the zombie apocalypse...if not better or worse, then certainly more interesting. Writing in-character setting material that isn't boring and still conveys the setting in a way that doesn't leave the reader at the mercy of an unreliable narrator (looking at you, WoD books, including a bunch that I contributed to) is hard, but I wanted to see how this game worked, soup to nuts. 

Part of that is because it commits to its premise with an intensity I've rarely seen. The game is about "economic horror," OK, and I was expecting that to be kinda gimmicky. No. Every single goddamn system, every bit of presentation in the game, hits back to that theme. As a result, I never once had a moment of "why the fuck is this a rule" because the game is modeling exactly what it wants to. 

The system is involved, but it's designed to force you to spend resources to get them, and to decide how much to spend (and what to risk) in order to meet your goals and, eventually, get out of the Loss (the wasteland that the characters now live in; basically everything west of the Mississippi River). It has notes of Blades in the Dark and other job-focused games, and, like those game, the GM (sorry, "Market") doesn't roll during play, but that's because the Market always wins. If you don't resist, the Market will eat you. 

I really want to run this game at some point, but I think I need to wait a little to distance from the last zombie-related game I ran. Anyway, let's make a character - or as they're called here, a Taker. 

First I'm meant to come up with a name. My Taker's name is Duck Hunt (not his real name, of course). He managed to get an old Nintendo system working in the enclave right after he got there, but the only game available was Duck Hunt. It was enough to let the kids in the enclave blow off steam, though, and that was good for morale. 

Now we do spots. First up is a weak spot, which is a character flaw related to Duck Hunt's personality. Following that flaw is good for a point of Will in play if it gets the character in trouble. I think Duck Hunt is Gullible. Wait, no, wrong vibe. He's Trusting. He hadn't had a lot of experience with people deliberately fucking each other over when the Crash happened, and he's kind of remained willfully blind to a lot of the worst of it, somehow. 

Soft spot is a virtue or philosophy that the character holds. I think for Duck Hunt it's "Everyone can be useful." Ties in nicely with his weak spot.

Finally, tough spot. This is a group affiliation, kinda sorta. If this were a WoD game it'd be the "splat." I can pick one or roll for it, let's see, are any of them just perfect for ol' Duckles? 

Actually, I think plain ol' Lost works just fine. That just means he got stuck in the Loss when shit got real, and he's been surviving here in enclaves and so on ever since. That means I get 2 more Skill points, but it also means I'd need more work before I can retire and escape the Loss. 

Next is Potentials, which are basically core attributes. They do act as a cap on connected skills, though. I get one point in each of them and then 5 more points to kick around. Let's see. Obviously Duck Hunt has some skill with electronics, which implies some chops in Intelligence. I'll put two points there, giving me an INT of 3, and put the other two points into Adaptability and Speed. 

Skills! I get 22 points (20 plus 2 for being Lost). I can't take more than the attached Potential, which is gonna limit me to 1 in some cases. I'll take:

Melee 1 (Duck Hunt can swing a bat if need be)
Resistance 1
Shoot 2
Athletics 2
Stealth 2
Awareness 2
Self-Control 2
Foresight 1
Research 1
Mechanics 2
Profession: Electrician 3
Sensitivity 1
Networking 1
Scavenging 1

Dependents! I get only one, since I only have one point in Charisma. That means I don't have to spend as much of my bounty to keep them happy after jobs, but it also means I can't have scenes with them to refresh Humanity, which can be a bugger. 

Duck Hunt's dependent is Ashwin. Ashwin (or "Ash", as most folks call him) was only 11 when he met Duck Hunt, and was one of the kids who played the Nintendo that Duck set up. Ash's parents were already dead at that point, and Duck Hunt kind of unofficially adopted him. Their relationship is more like "cool older brother/younger brother" than "father/son", but Duck looks out for Ash and keeps him fed. Ash wants to be a Taker, too, and Duck Hunt is trying his best to never let that happen. 

And now, Gear! I get 10 bounty worth of gear, not counting the backpack and rations I get for free. I don't have to take it all; I can have some bounty handy instead of buying Gear with it. Let's see. I'll buy an ax (Duck found a fire ax and he's managed to keep it from breaking), a pistol, that's 3 spent right there. I'd like an electronics kit and a tool kit, but that's 5 bounty on those things alone and I'd really like to spend to get the tailored upgrade so they don't fuck with my stealth. OK, I'll ditch the ax, buy those upgrades, and that means I've spent 9 of my 10. I'll keep the last bounty in reserve. 

The last bit would normally be to come up with a retirement plan, but that's a pretty campaign-dependent thing so I'm gonna skip it. In very general terms, we'll say that Duck Hunt's plan is to get fake IDs for both himself and Ashwin and get them through the border into the Recession, but with enough that he can send Ashwin to a good school and live well. The sad truth is that there's almost no way Duck is going to be able to do that, but he might be able to get just Ashwin to that state, and he might well choose to do it, but who knows. 

Duck Hunt is in his early 30s. His skin kind of sags in places (he was pretty chunky before the Crash and he lost a lot of weight quickly). He's pretty much bald by now, and what hair he has left is prematurely graying. He has a pair of glasses that he uses for reading and delicate electronics, and he's utterly paranoid about them getting broken. 

I think that'll do it. Whew! Whatever game I read next has a tough act to follow.

Chill: Vulture Culture

Today was Chill. I know, Tuesday night, whaaaat. Here's last time.

The envoys - Willa, Jennifer, Blake, and Samantha - are discovered in the garage of one Stanley Friedbach right after the poor SOB was stabbed. They're also wearing beekeeper suits. They're taken to the local police station and put in separate rooms - not under arrest, but Detective Jackson has some questions for them. Notably, "what the hell?"

For the most part, their story is straight. Blake claims that they were out looking into the weird hornet attacks, and that the guy with the weird head that they filmed earlier (and sent to Jackson) was the one that attacked Stanley. Samantha says something similar about the bees, but that they didn't see who stabbed Stanley. Jennifer really gets weird - she claims that Stanley was already stabbed and bleeding when they got there, but that she has a "healing gift" that she used to save him (which is true, but not something that Jackson understands). Willa gives the best answer of all to why they're in beekeeper suits - "is it illegal? No? Then let's move on." She, too, claims that they heard a crash, investigated, and found Stanley. 

Jackson is clearly confused by all this. He has them all give signed witness statements and lets them go, whereupon Jordan arrives with Annie Crawford, their lawyer. She gets copies of their statements just in case this becomes a problem, but at the moment they're not in trouble. Everyone heads out to get a beer and talk this through, and do a little tablet research. They show Jordan and Father Will the bracelet, and Samantha tells them about the vision she saw involving the girl with dyed black hair finding the skull. Jordan discovers that the beads on the bracelet spell "ELLE" in Morse code, and Father Will finds something called "vulture culture" - young folks who find bones in the woods and clean and bleach them for artistic purposes. They find Elle's Insta page, and indeed, she has a picture of a clean white skull on her bedside table. Willa messages her to say that she found her bracelet, and Jennifer and Father Will decide they'll go and talk to Eric Hill, head of the neighborhood watch, tomorrow. 

Next day, Willa has a message from Elle. They text back and forth and arrange to meet at a Starbucks (Willa wants to make sure to stay public so as not to spook Elle or be creepy). Jordan goes along. Elle is waiting for them, and is thrilled to have the bracelet back. They chat a little and Jordan steers the conversation toward urban legends, including the unfortunate decapitation (is there really any such thing as a fortunate decapitation?) of Roman Buchanan. Elle knows about that, but only through stories. She does know about Milton Hodges, the cop who was stung to death near the school - she goes to high school with Milton's daughter, Rina. Elle also claims that she bought the skull online; she's lying, but the envoys don't want to burn her so they don't press the issue.

Jordan offers to look at the skull and maybe given Elle some sense of how the person died; Elle says maybe she will. She leaves, and the envoys reconvene. They theorize that if Rina and Elle were tight, maybe Rina knew about the skull's location from her father and told Elle? 

Jennifer and Father Will go out to talk to Hill. The neighborhood watch FB group has some very weird takes and rumors - someone attacks Stan Friedbach in his house, there were people in hazmat suit around so maybe this is a government thing or a chemical spill, who knows. Eric is at first a little leery, but Jennifer charms him and he repeats some of these conspiracy theories. He also tells them that the watch is going to be patrolling in force tonight, and they're welcome to join - more bodies, the better. He pats a pistol on his hip. He intends to be prepared.

The envoys get together for dinner and decide they'll all go to the neighborhood and join the watch (but not in the beekeeper suits). They gear up, in particular taking glowsticks so they'll have light if the electronics go out again, and get some rest until sunset.

Next time: The exciting conclusion!

Atlantis: Swimmin' with Demons

After a goddamn year, we finally have everyone in this group vaccinated and back at the table. Holy shit, it feels good. Here's last time, you shadowy presences in my mind!

The characters hang around the town of Deshdara; Eithne brushes up on her Khem with Akala's help, Thanos reads and mellows out, and Imani and Masamba train their slaves in some basic combat drills. Come evening, the four Heroes are at the inn eating, when suddenly they hear a blood-curdling scream from outside. 

The Heroes, being heroes, rush outside and find Ashmerata, the magistrate of the town, standing next to a woman. Said woman is doing the screaming, and no wonder! There's a severed head on the ground in front of her. Akala goes to examine it, while Imani, feeling more tactful, covers it with a shawl (Akala still lifts it to have a look at the head, however). Akala realizes that the head was torn from the body, and the amount of blood in the alleyway indicates that the rest of the body parts might similarly have been ripped out. 

Ashmerata informs the Heroes that the head belonged to the husband of the screaming woman (said woman's name is Ea). Eithne and Imani spot footprints leading off down the alley and follow them, while Thanos and Akala stay behind to investigate a little more. Thanos senses magic, but in a residual sense - as a practitioner of the Dark Arts himself, he hypothesizes that whatever did this might have been summoned (which would probably make it a demon). Akala manages to calm Ea down, and she mentions that her late husband had fallen in with some bad men - bandits and raiders that live on the edge of town. He was saving up money to open a shop, though, he had severed ties with these men. 

Akala surmises that bandits might not be above summoning demons (or beheading someone, for that matter). Ashmerata asks them to look into this - her town guards have their hands full dealing with bandits and this isn't the kind of thing they're equipped for, anyway. Thanos asks if Ashmerata knows anyone who might be capable of summoning such a creature, but she doesn't. Akala, who, while not a mage herself, is pretty well-versed in the arcane arts, guesses that summoning this kind of creature would require space to work apart from anyone who might see or hear it - the edge of town, maybe.

At this point, they notice that Imani and Eithne aren't there, and go after them. In the meanwhile, those two have followed the prints to the oasis! The prints, which belong to a humanoid creature with six long, clawed toes on each foot, disappear into the plants around the water. Imani, throwing caution to the wind, charges in with spear drawn and very nearly impales an old man sitting in the weeds muttering to himself. 

He's apparently had quite a shock, but Imani talks him down. He tells her that he saw a creature enter the waters of the oasis. Imani tells him to go to the inn and get a drink, and he obliges, leaving the two of them by the water's edge.

Meanwhile, Akala and Thanos are following the tracks (both of them have superior senses, so it's easy). They notice they're being followed by a young boy - he's sneaky, but not enough to fool them. Akala tells Thanos she's going to fly ahead, and then swoops down and grabs the boy from behind. He yelps in fear, and she asks what he's doing. He says he was following them because, basically, they look like cool people doing cool shit (which Akala concedes is true). She drags him by the shirt to the oasis and asks the others to deal with him. Thanos bares his fangs and tells the boy that he'll show him some magic if he pisses off and stays away from the oasis. The boy agrees, on the condition that it won't be scary magic.

The characters look into the waters, and Eithne casts a spell and parts them, allowing them to see to the bottom. There, they see a crack in the ground, leading to...darkness. Akala decides to swoop down and take a closer look, but when she does, the demon - a horrible, blue, warty thing - leaps up out of the crack, grabs her ankles, and yanks her down into the water!

Imani leaps in, heedless of danger. Thanos follows, but casts a spell giving him and Imani gills so they can breathe. Eithne strengthens the water-parting spell, and then jumps down as well, but turns herself into a crocodile as she goes. 

In the dark water below, Akala looks down and sees the remains of an immense city. The more immediate problem is that the demon is holding onto her and trying to drag her down, however, so she tries, in vain, to kick free. Imani pokes around with her spear, but can't see a thing. Thanos summons up light, and Eithne swoops in and bites the demon's head.

This induces the demon to let go, but it's not getting any respite. Thanos calls up magic to widen its wounds, and Imani stabs it with her spear. It claws at the crocodile, but it's surrounded and outnumbered - Thanos blasts it with arcane energy, Eithne keeps biting, and Imani impales it. It slides down the spear to claw at her, but she kicks it off and yanks the spear out. It starts to sink, dying, and screams "Saramesh!" as it falls.

Eithne swims after the corpse and brings it to the surface with the others. They crawl out of the oasis to find Ashmerata and many other townsfolk peering into the water. As the heroes clear their lungs of water and regain their normal forms, the townsfolk cheer! 

Next time, perhaps, we'll find where this demon came from and what "Saramesh" is.

Predation: Story Time with Dakota and Tallahassee

SKRONK!

Recall that last time, Dakota and Tallahassee were led into the mountain, blindfolded, by a bunch of Butterflies. They're led into a system of caverns, and eventually their blindfolds are taken off. Tallahassee notices that their guards are deliberately avoiding stepping in certain places, and figures there might be traps. They arrive in a larger chamber with a bunch of Butterflies, and everyone sits down as one of them stands in front of them and tells a story.

The story, which has the tone of a religious recitation, concerns a Hunter and a Guide going back in time in a metal bubble. Despite the Guide's warnings, the Hunter leaves the path, killing a butterfly and dooming the future. "We are all the butterfly," says the storyteller. "Stay on the path, and listen always for the thunder." 

Dakota is pretty confused by all of this, and worries that, as a hunter herself, the butterflies might have some ideological issue with her. After this odd ceremony, they talk with a woman whom Tallahassee finds kind of familiar, introduced as Aldaine Rhyne, Queen of the Butterflies. They don't have any problem with hunters, but they do have a problem with time travelers. They subscribe the theory that altering events here in the distant past might irrevocably flummox the future. Tallahassee, as an aeternologist, disagrees, and there's some tension here, but they all do agree that they're no fans of SATI.

Meanwhile, out in the woods, Omaha and Buffalo keep watch. They talk a bit about the others, and Buffalo opines that going with the Butterflies probably wasn't smart. Omaha says they might have to rescue them, but Buffalo isn't sure that's even possible, much less wise. They spot a red glow in the distance and go to check it out, and discover that it's a time anomaly. Omaha uses her time tap ability to check and make sure that Dakota and Tallahassee are going to get out safely. She sees a vision of them running in a cavern, and then their bodies getting pierced with spikes. It's decidedly not looking OK. 

Buffalo notes, too, that the flickering light of the anomaly is getting brighter, and it's emitting heat. They decide to leave, because that's never good. They find a place to hunker down just as a massive boom resonates from the area of the anomaly, followed by a blast of heat...and Omaha notices that the forest is on fire.

Inside the mountain, Rhyne tells them that Tentra shouldn't have showed them where this place is. Since she did, normally she would either have to convert or kill them, but since they found evidence of new time travelers, maybe they could help each other, or at least agree to stay out of each other's way? Rhyne asks them to tell the Butterflies anything they find out about these "future-SATI" folks, and to never reveal the location of the Chrysalis. Dakota agrees, but Tallahassee says that she's pretty talkative and generally tells everyone everything, but she really isn't interested in the Butterflies philosophy and so probably won't remember it. 

Rhyne doesn't seem exactly on board with this, and walks off, saying she's going to consult with some people. Dakota notes the tension in the room and feels danger in the offing, but it gets worse. Tallahassee mind-links with Kevin and sees him emerging from water (underground lake, maybe?) into caverns. He noses a door open...and the Butterflies around them start reacting. Clear an alarm has gone off somewhere. 

Kevin sees guards with guns, and they fire, shooting him and injuring him pretty badly. He stumbles back to the water. Tallahassee screams and the Butterflies guarding them hold them at gunpoint, but Tallahassee ain't having it. She activates a force field and draws her pistol. Dakota, likewise, activates a cypher to speed her up, and the two of them trade shots with the guards for a bit. Neither can score a hit, though, and finally Tallahassee just charges right through them, using her force field as a kind of battering ram. 

Outside, Buffalo and Omaha lead the dinosaurs downhill to a lake (with Omaha making weird noises to spur Klio into moving faster). They arrive at the lake and jump in, although Buffalo notes it's full of carnivorous fish. They're all picking at something at the north end of the lake, though. Sebie wanders around the lake and finds that the fish are picking at Kevin. She considers for a moment, and then calls the humans over. 

They fish Kevin out and Buffalo manages to get him breathing again, and they wait there in the lake for the fire to stop.

But meanwhile, in the mountain, Dakota and Tallahassee are running for their lives. Tallahassee is pretty good at spotting traps, so they avoid the worst of it - until she sets off a fire jet and Dakota tackles her through it to avoid getting burnt. They realize that no one is chasing them, so they take their time and check more carefully for traps. They do all right, until a spike trap drives a bunch of bamboo at them (Tallahassee is the only one injured and her force field absorbs a good deal of it). 

They eventually wind up at the door, and Tallahassee hacks it open. Upon stepping out, she sees a fish swimming straight at her, and she punches at it! Dakota just sees her punch nothing, and after a few frantic flails Tallahassee realizes that what she's seeing isn't really there. Dakota leads her down the hill away from the door, following animals away from this forest fire that's just come up, and they finally make it to the lake. There, Tallahassee realizes she was seeing through Kevin's eyes again, and races out to him. She patches him up and gets him fit as a fiddle again, and the characters are reunited in the lake.

But just then, a bunch of SATI drones swarm overhead, shining lights down on the area...

Slipstream: Diplomacy in the Sun

Tonight was Slipstream after a bit of a hiatus. Here we go! 

Our intrepid heroes had invited Prince Craw of Avia, whom they're pretty sure is in league with the evil Queen Anthraxa, to the nearby fragment of Idunn. Idunn is covered with sand and shallow, warm seas, so Zeenia is pretty much at home there. They arrange for a suite for Craw and his retinue, and meet out on a small island with a gazebo kind of arrangement to talk. Zeenia hires some local folks to carry her in her "receiving tub", so she can arrive in style.

Craw is lounging and sipping a drink, and comes down to meet with Zeenia. They talk about the various fragments they've both visited, and Zeenia mentions the difficulty she has with worlds that have a lack of water. Craw offhandedly mentions that any fragment can be "made habitable."

Zeenia asks the most exciting fragment Craw has been to, and he mentions he's been through the Dust Cloud, he's been to Amicus, and he's been to Simba recently. That catches the characters' attention, since they fought alongside a noblewoman from Simba (way back here). They ask after Lady Raoora, and Craw says he hasn't met her. Zeenia mentions that they plan to visit Simba sometime soon, and Iris notes a couple of the prince's retinue chuckling. One says to the other, in Avian, something to the effect that if they want to talk to someone from Simba, they'd better hurry.

Iris, not the most subtle or restrained of people on the best of days, calls them vultures, and Prince Craw puffs himself up and demands to know what she said. She clarifies that she was talking to his men, and he softens a bit, but does tell her not to speak to his retinue that way. Craw claims not to know Raoora, but says he met with the Tribal Council on Simba, including a Lion Man named Lord Raoor - maybe her father?

The conversation turns to the Avian royal family as Iris and Zeenia ask after Prince Boolar, Craw's brother. Craw doesn't seem the least bit concerned for his brother's safety, and when the characters bring up Queen Anthraxa's habit of kidnapping males (including Zeenia's betrothed, Zeemar), Craw downplays it, saying that the "Queen" is misunderstood and that the stories about her are mostly false. He is, of course, clearly lying.

Oola, listening to all this quietly, notes that the prince is wearing a circlet that seems to house some interesting technology, not too dissimilar to the device she uses to communicate telepathically. She makes the mistake of reaching for it and one of Craw's guards catches her wrist, but Zeenia jumps in and flatters the prince a bit, and he takes off the circlet and allows Zeenia to look at it more closely. Oola, also, takes a look, and notes that it is indeed the same sort of tech as she's using, just streamlined. She isn't sure if it would do exactly the same thing - maybe reading thoughts, instead?

The conversation gets a little testy towards the end of their meeting, as Craw implies that the "unruly" fragments can and should be brought to heel ("smooth off the rough edges"), and Zeenia slowly comes to realize that what he's talking about is subjugation. Zeenia invites him to her planet, saying that accommodations can be made for air-breathers, and Craw repeats his earlier mantra - any fragment can be made habitable. 

The groups part ways, and Iris laments that she wasn't able to drown the prince. The characters try to reach Simba, but they're too far away and decide to just head on out there as quickly as they can. Zeenia puts in a call to her father and secures some additional funds, and off they go!

Movie #628: Saw II

Saw II is, as the name implies, the sequel to 2004's Saw and stars Donnie Wahlberg, Tobin Bell, Franky G, Shawnee Smith, Erik Knudsen, Glenn Plummer, Timothy Burd, Beverly Mitchell, Emmanuelle Vaugier, and Dina Meyer. 

Detective Allison Kerry (Meyer) finds a note left for a colleague, Eric Matthews (Wahlberg) at the scene of one of the notorious Jigsaw's traps (Jigsaw being the crazy guy who puts people he feels are "unworthy of the life they've been given" in deadly traps that require them to mutilate themselves or others to get out). Matthews has his own issues; his son Daniel (Knudsen) is acting out and getting into trouble, and he's left a life of intense (and very corrupt) police work to work a desk job. He figures out a clue from Jigsaw, he, Kerry, and a SWAT team hit Jigsaw's lair, and find the man himself, a terminally ill cancer patient named John Kramer (Bell). 

But then there are these monitors that depict a group of people trapped in a house, slowly dying from nerve gas poisoning. One of them is Daniel, and another is Amanda (Smith), a previous participant in Jigsaw's game. From there the movie basically has two parallel points of action going, the story in the house as the subjects find their personalized traps and die off, one by one, and the story in Jigsaw's house, where Kramer tells Matthews that he'll get his son back if he just sits and talks with him. 

Much like Saw, the central conflict here is that everything you need to understand and survive Jigsaw's puzzles is right there in the instructions, but you need to look past the immediate trauma of what's happening and follow those rules in order to do that. Saw II ups the ante from the first movie, as any good sequel should; while the first one showed some violence but also left a great deal implied, this one gives us lovely close-ups of Xavier (G) cutting skin off of his own neck, Amanda getting thrown in a pit of needles, Obi (Burd) being burned alive, and so forth. 

The strength of the series (this is the only one I own, because while I like the original I don't think it's quite as tight as this one, plus Carey Elwes really overacts) is the mythology that comes up around Jigsaw, Amanda, and his victims, and of course the ingenuity (if you want to call it that) of his traps. With that said, there's a lot to keep straight, and the genre is very much more on the side of torture porn than slasher. Also, I had never realized quite how many flickery jump cuts and smash cuts and strobe lights there and, and it gets a little much. 

But there's something weirdly engaging about it, and I kind of want to watch the rest of the series just to see where it goes. Leigh Whannell, the writer of Saw and co-writer here, went on to write and direct The Invisible Man, which I thought was really solid (he also wrote the Insidious series, which I haven't seen). So I guess I'll keep getting these DVDs from Netflix (yes, that's a thing they still do) and see where it goes. I suspect they'll keep getting worse because horror franchises usually do, but what the heck.

My Grade: C+
Rewatch Value: Medium, which is higher than you'd think

Next up: Say Anything, once we're done with Oscars

Cairn: The Last Frogs of Autumn

Here's last time, on we go.

Our heroes are headed to the spooky ol' lighthouse south of Cairn. They arrive at the coast as the fisher-folk are pulling boats out, and spot the otter that they talked to last night. He agrees to drop them at the lighthouse, and tells them to just signal him when they want a lift back. 

He takes them across the lake and they disembark at the dock, and rows off to fish. They start to head for the lighthouse, but the dock immediately collapses. Ratatosk, Russelet, and Snootabur jump clear, but Rumdiggle loses her footing and falls into the water...and then immediately faints, because that's how possums do.

Ratatosk casts a spell to prevent her from sinking, and they tow her to land and wake her up. They head toward the lighthouse, but as they get closer, they all feel...slimy, like the emotional equivalent of having a slug-trail on their palms. Russelet flutters up and perches in a window, but doesn't hear anything untoward coming from inside. 

Ratatosk calls on his druid magic once again and calls a seagull over. The seagull confirms that there is indeed a frog in the lighthouse (rather, Ratatosk extrapolates that from the information the bird can give him), and that it's dangerous - it eats seagull chicks. Ratatosk passes this along, and they decide to take the bullfrog by the horns, as it were, and kick in the door. 

Ratatosk kicks in said door, and the door screams. Ratatosk nearly falls into a shallow pit of mud and worms. He manages to cling to the wall, and the others crowd into the doorway, to see a huge bullfrog in the middle of the room, wearing tattered robes and looking...rather disheveled and dirty. Snootabur tries taking him to task for stealing the worms, but he doesn't even acknowledge that he took them - they're just his. (Snootabur, as a worm rancher herself, also points out that this isn't the best way to keep worms alive, but the frog just says the worms won't be here long enough for that to matter and eats one.)

Russelet throws his voice to confuse the frog, and it works - the frog (his name is Brock) glances around and then wiggles his fingers, and the whole place goes dark. Russelet, of course, can function just fine in the dark, and flies into the room. Ratatosk starts moving around the room on the walls, but loses his footing and falls into the worm-pit, and winds up with worms squirming in his tunic. Snootabur goes down into the pit and makes her way toward where she thinks Brock was, and Rumdiggle hangs back and sings her little heart out.

Russelet senses Brock moving toward Ratatosk and flies to intercept, and gets a sticky tongue all up on his belly. He's yanked across the room and Brock grabs his wing, preventing him from nocking an arrow. Snootabur fires an arrow at the commotion, and Russelet bites Brock's tongue, which does compel him to let go. Russelet falls back and fires a sleep arrow, but if either arrow found its mark, Brock is still on his feet.

Ratatosk moves closer and swings his staff, but misses and winds up face down in the worms again. Brock leaps forward and stabs Russelet in the shoulder with an iron knife, and he cries out. Ratatosk decides, once again, that "fuck it" is the better part of valor, leaps on Brock (and winds up halfway down his throat) and pours all of his remaining sleeping draught down the frog's gullet.

Brock spits Ratatosk out, stumbles a bit, and passes out. The darkness goes away, and Rummy pulls Brock over into a corner while Snootabur starts taking the worms outside. Rummy notices, however, that Brock isn't breathing, and reports this to the others. Ratatosk pours a healing potion down his throat and he revives, but they tie his hands and stick him in the corner so Russelet can watch him.

Rummy and Snootabur get the worms out of the water, and Ratatosk, as he tries to brush frog-mucus off his face, signals the otter to come get them. Russelet offers Brock a pipe and tries to get him talking about why he stole the worms, but all Brock says is that he was hungry. Russelet points out that everyone gets hungry, but Brock says "not like me." He then asks Russelet to untie him, and Russelet, strangely, finds that a perfectly reasonable request from his new friend Brock. He cuts Brock's bonds, and Brock leaps up to a window, telling Russelet he'll be right back.

The others find Russelet sitting by where Brock was, slowly realizing (as the Charm spell fades) that Brock isn't coming back. They load up the worms onto some boats and return them to Cairn, and then go the heck to sleep.

The next night, Meestar Snufflestar invites them to dinner, where they get a feast of worms (and some food more appropriate to a squirrel, of course). He's able to pay his worm-debt to Moriarty Sprit and Ripark, but does wonder how Brock was able to tunnel up to the worm ranch. They assume he got a mole to help him - but who, and why? That they don't know.

Winter is almost here, though, so while Brock might bedevil them again in the future, they need to prepare for the long nights ahead.