The Public Enemy is a 1931 crime drama starring James Cagney, Edward Woods, Donald Cook, Leslie Fenton, Beryl Mercer, Robert O'Connor, Jean Harlow, Murray Kinnell, Frankie Darro, and Frank Coghlan Jr.
We begin with the early life of Tom Powers (Coghlan Jr.) and his best buddy Matt Doyle (Darro) as Tom sneaks beer, steals things, hurts people for no reason, and gets beat with a belt by his father (hey, I think I might have spotted some of the problem!). And then he grows up into James Cagney (and Doyle into Edwards Woods), his older brother Mike (Cook) stayed in school and is a good, honorable fella who enlists in the Army just in time for the Great War, and Tom and Matt have started running with local small-time hood Putty Nose (Kinnell).
Putty Nose cuts and runs after Tom and Matt kill a cop (there are literally no consequences for this for them, ever), but fortunately Prohibition hits, and Paddy Ryan (O'Connor) is there to pick up the slack with his charming and kinda scary boss, Nails Nathan (Fenton). Tom and Matt live high on the hog, meet girls, Matt marries, Tom kicks his girlfriend Kitty (Mae Clarke) to the curb when he meets Gwen (Harlow), Nails dies in an accident and the whole thing erupts into a gang war that leaves Matt dead. Tom goes to singlehandedly kill the entire Schemer Burns mob, and predictably gets shot. He winds up in hospital until they kidnap him, kill him, and dump his dumb ass at home for his brother to find.
I'm being a little flip, but this is actually a really good movie. Cagney shows us a character that we would now call a psychopath, utterly without remorse, impulsive, violent, and so forth. In what is perhaps the most telling moment of the movie, after Nails dies Tom and Matt go to the stable, buy the horse that threw him, and fucking shoot it.
The plot would later be reused multiple times, often by Martin Scorcese. You can see the influence - guy rises in a criminal enterprise, gets too big for his britches or sticks around past when the getting is good, winds up dead. Except the vibe here is very much "hey, society creates people like Tom Powers and we're going to have to deal with that shit at some point." I was expecting this movie to be a lot more moralistic than it was; aside from the end plates it just kind of presents Tom as the monster he is but doesn't waggle its finger or shy away from showing how much fun he's having.
The Public Enemy is one of those movies that you feel like you've seen even if you haven't seen it, and I always love watching those because it's fun to see where tropes come from.
My Grade: A- Rewatch Value: Medium-low, I think?
Next Up: Alvin & The Chipmunks: Road Chip. At least it's the last one
Ooga-booga. Zug-zug. Swobu. No, wait, that's orcs from Warcraft.
The Game: Stone Punk The Publisher:Planet Nine Publishing Degree of Familiarity: None, but it's pretty simple Books Required: Just the one
I mean, it's...fine, I guess? It's an RPG where you play cavemen. Lots of attention paid to resource gathering, which is fine, but then there are tribes with weirdly sophisticated societies (even a currency, kind of), and it winds up feeling more like a fantasy RPG than anything else.
Like, there's dinosaurs running around with the cavemen, and that seems like such a deliberate choice but it's never addressed. Even if you were to say "we know this is off by tens of millions of years, but dammit, dinosaurs are cool" or "we took inspiration from the 1982 cinematic masterpiece Caveman and dammit, there were dinosaurs there" but nothin'.
And, not to harp on this again, but I have no idea why the -punk suffix is there. There's no establishment to fight against, there's no punk aesthetic. I dunno. I think there are cool directions this could have gone in and instead it looks like someone went "you know what would be cool? Cavemen" and then wrote a D&D setting. I don't mean to say this game is terrible - the artwork is cool, the mechanics seem well-explained and simple, and there are a bunch of scenarios. I just wish it was about something.
And the fucking PDF isn't bookmarked. Blargh.
Well, let's make a caveman. We start by picking a species: I can be a Sapiens, a Neandrathal, or a Denisovan. Think I'll be one of those. They're equally luck as they are adaptable, whatever the hell that means. Anyway, it sets my Health 22, my Speed at 10, and my Luck at 4.
Now we pick a Class. Brute, Hunter, or Shaman. Um, let's be a Hunter.
And now we pick a tribe! This basically cooks down to what biome we live in. Heh, there's a Beach Tribe.
I'm reminded of a bit that Trevor Noah does about how the reason white people tried to conquer the world is because the climate where they lived was awful. As evidence, he presents the idea of two guys on a beach in the Caribbean saying "we should make boats and go force everyone to do the Calypso." Anyway, I'll be Beach Tribe.
And...I guess that's it? Wow, there's really no customization here at all, huh? How boring. Well, I'll name my guy Monda. Monda hunts fish with a spear, and has learned many lessons over the years, such as "if you throw your spear too far you'll lose it" and "if you see a fish that's bigger that you, it's time to go back to the beach." He doesn't trust those newfangled "boat" things some of his tribe-mates are talking about. You try standing on water, you'll fall on your ass, that's just math.
The Game: Under Hollow Hills The Publisher:Night Sky Games or lumpley games or Lumpley & Co. or all of the above Degree of Familiarity: Never played it, but it's PbtA Books Required: Just the one
It's a pretty easy one to explain, actually. You're a troupe of fairies (and perhaps humans) in a traveling circus going through Fairie and the Mortal World. Go to a new place, sniff the wind, set up your show. The vibe is very fairytale-esque, in the old "blood, sex, and death" meaning of the word. It looks really cool and reminds me of some of the more interesting parts of The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus.
As is often the case with PbtA games, we must first choose a playbook. Most of them are for faerie creatures, and while my inclination is to pick the Lantern Jack, I think I shall go a different direction and choose the Chieftain Mouse. The Chieftain Mouse is a kind of small warrior; I suppose Sir Didymus might fit into this archetype, though of course Labyrinth isn't quite the right tone.
I'm meant to start with a mousey name, but a name suitable for a mouse of distinction. I think we'll name my mouse Mushka the Proud (just rewatched Coraline not long ago).
Now we pick aspects of summer and winter; we start full summer, but things can happen in play to make us step toward winter.
For summer, Mushka gets: Apples, sober little face, rufus red, fancy clothing, and charming. For winter, these become wind in tall grass, bright eyes, smoke grey, worked mail, mannish. I think Mushka's pronouns are he/him regardless, though.
And now we assign numbers to plays. Plays are basically what most PbtA games would call "moves," but unlike most other such games, we don't have stats that they attach to. Instead, each play gets a modifier, but as we step toward winter (or summer), these numbers can shift, which I think is pretty cool.
So I get +2 (x3), +1 (x5), 0 (x2) and -1 (x2) to put into the obvious plays (that everyone can do) and the four Chieftain Mouse plays. Let's start at the bottom: What is Mushka not so good at?
I think open up to them and sniff the wind are his weak point. Mushka is a mouse of action, and his long service in the Mouse Army (not the Mouse Guard has made him more a solider than a talker).
For the 0s, I'll put them into sit counsel with them (I'm loathe to put low scores into my Chieftain Mouse moves, but it seems to make sense) and size them up.
Jumping to the other end, we'll put our +2s into summon the Mousey Clans, waylay them, and confront them. That means everything else gets a +1. Mushka is pretty good at the aggressive, even violent stuff, but I think as he moves toward winter he falls into a more decadent, social, and fun-loving aspect.
And that's it, folks, because everything else would require a group. Mushka is a little red mouse (I debated whether he was actually mouse-sized, but I think it works better if he is). He's got a very smart waistcoat and pantaloons, a mouse-sized sword that stings disproportionately to its size, and a cart drawn by a very small pony (that he refers to as a warhorse).
Alvin & The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked is the third movie in the Chipmunks quadrilogy and stars, once again, Justin Long, Matthew Gray Gubler, Jesse McCartney, Christina Applegate, Amy Poehler, Anna Faris, Jason Lee, and David Cross, and adds Jenny Slate and Alan Tudyk to the mix.
The Chipmunks and the Chipettes are going on vacation! Dave (Lee) brings them on board a Carnival Cruise (yay product placement), whereupon everyone tries to have fun except Alvin (Long) insists on being a complete asshole and gets everyone in trouble. Simon (Gubler) continually tries to keep him in line so that his insistence on being a dick doesn't splash back on the others, but is of course unable to do so. And then due to a series of wacky cartoony mishaps, the little CGI abominations get sucked out to sea on a hang glider and crash onto an island. Dave grabs a people-sized hang glider to go after them, but his old nemesis Ian Hawke (Cross), now working as a pelican mascot for the cruise line and intent on ruining Dave's life, wrestles him for it and they both wind up on the island!
Neither side aware of the other, the Chipmunks try to survive. They run across Zoe (Slate), a FedEx pilot who crash landed here multiple years ago (but still has access to hair care and makeup and soap, because she looks perfectly clean) and has been surviving as a Castaway parody ever since. A spider bites Simon and turns him into Simone (Tudyk), a French adventurer, making him fun and adventurous and pushing Alvin and his Chipette counterpart Brittany (Applegate) into the responsible ones. Theodore (McCartney), Jeanette (Faris), and Eleanor (Poehler) don't have much to do. Theodore obsesses over a horror movie he saw, I guess, and Eleanor breaks her foot. Whatever.
So, turns out Zoe is here for treasure and tries to force Jeanette to retrieve it, Rescuers-style, because there is literally nothing original about this movie. Ian and Dave spar over Ian being a selfish, terrible person, but then he kind of has a redemption arc because there's nothing else to do with him at this point, eventually they make it back to civilization in time to do a concert!
I mean, it's more of the same. I found this one a little (a little) more watchable just because it reminded me more of the 1983 cartoon, but like, it's still a bunch of CGI creatures singing pop songs in unintelligible squeaky voices, David Cross and Jason Lee shilling for a paycheck, and now Jenny Slate acting silly. The only time in the movie I laughed was a bit where Ian and Dave are bedding down for the night and Ian, still dressed as a pelican, has built a nest. That's the best joke in the movie.
Last night we played some D&D, consisting mostly of the discussions that happen when someone has access to a wish. On we go!
Our heroes, recall, are outside of the capital city of Cian. Having slain an evil ogre-creature who was preparing to steal and eat some kids, bed down for the night, and in the morning take breakfast in the caravan before rolling into the city. They talk with Aindriú first, and he tells them that when he's in Cian he stays at the Sapphire, a big house in the nicer section of the city. He co-owns it with several other folks, they "share" the "time", if you will.
The caravan rolls into town, and Aindriú's lieutenant pays the staff. They promptly scatter into town. The adventurers first go to the wizard's college to ask about the box and the wish-granting creature therein. Their contact there, Luch, is dead, of course, but they ask for someone who knows about creatures from the Elemental Plane of Earth and are shown to the offices of Séarlas (he gestures at a stone wall and it slurps open, revealing his library and chambers).
The heroes explain the creature, and Séarlas consults a book and shows them a picture - the creature they saw is called a "dao", a specific type of a powerful elemental spirit called a "genie." Almost all genies are evil, he says, petty, greedy, jealous, arrogant. Dao in particular covet the riches of the earth, so a human being wishing to have those riches and then just giving them away would enrage it. Séarlas warns them that genies almost inevitably try to twist wishes to benefit themselves, and says that the box containing the dao should probably be brought here to be locked up.
From there, at Aisling's insistence, they go to the bathhouse and plump for the extra expensive treatment, and show up that afternoon at the Sapphire, cleaned and scented. They are met by a halfling in a smart-looking suit. He introduces himself as Téodóir, and points them to an armory where they can leave their weapons and armor (should they so choose). He shows them to their rooms - they each get their own, except that Zook and Keenan share a room, as do Aisling and Fearg. They discover robes in the closets (Zook, Keenan, and Aisling immediately put them on), and the beds are stuffed with something very soft.
Fearg tells Aisling not to be surprised if he winds up sleeping on the floor (Aisling understands, but no way is she not using this bed). The characters meet up in a common room and talk about their situation. They're concerned that freeing the genie might be dangerous, and Zook pulls out his keek-stane and casts divination, looking at what might happen if they do. He sees the glass of the keek-stane crack and blood starts seeping out, and he feels something smash against the glass in rage. Keenan grabs his shoulder and snaps him out of it ("You look like you've seen a ghost!"). Zook tells the others that freeing the genie outright is a bad idea, but he might be able to learn a spell to banish it home.
They decide they need to learn exactly how this works, so they summon Téodóir and have him bring Aindriú down. He arrives (also wearing a Sapphire robe) and listens to their concerns, and then fetches the box. Aisling plays a song and casts identify, staring at the box, and learns how the box works.
The dao is bound into the box, and is incapable of harming anyone (unless someone wishes it to). Whenever someone opens the box, it appears and must grant that person three wishes. It can only serve one master at once, and a given master remains so until they make their third wish, willingly renounce any further wishes, or dies. The dao is unable to lie but is not compelled to provide information without a wish. If the box is damaged in any way, the dao is freed.
But beyond all of this, Aisling senses something from the box itself. It has magic, yes, but it also has...something else. She can't explain, can't put her finger on it, but the box terrifies her in a "thing that should not be" kind of way. She backs away from it and Fearg notes that she looks pale. Aisling shakes herself and explains what she's learned.
The heroes advise Aindriú to make sure that box is secure, and he wraps it in a cloth, summons Téodóir and asks him to put it in the vault. They discuss their options and Aindriú's thoughts on the matter - Dara advises him to make his final wish, but Aindriú is hesitant. Eventually they have dinner, a few drinks, and Aindriú goes to bed, saying he'll sleep on it.
The adventurers note that they have options - if Aindriú makes his final wish, one of them could become the dao's new master and wish it back to its home on the Elemental Plane (and even specify that it can't come back). There's some talk about bringing it to the wizard's college, so Zook grabs his keek-stane and casts divination to ask about this course of action. He sees humanoid figures fighting over the box, grabbing at it and pushing each other.
Fearg opines that having wishes is a curse, not a blessing. People aren't able to resist that kind of temptation, and he notes that he has a lot of respect for Aindriú not only for holding on to his last wish, but for making a wish to be worthy of love rather than to be loved. He does say, though, that in his opinion it's better to get rid of this thing. "It's the comforts that make us feel numb," he says to Zook.
In the end, they decide that they aren't going to take this to the wizard college, there's just too much that can go wrong. As they're preparing to go to bed, they hear a bell start to ring from downstairs.
They go to look, and Aisling sees Téodóir stumble out from a back room, clutching his stomach. She calls a healing word at him and he falls, showing a bloodied hand (but the main wound healing). "The vault," he gasps.
Priest is an action...horror? I guess movie starring Paul Bettany, Karl Urban, Cam Gigandet, Lily Collins, Maggie Q, and utterly wasting the talents of Christopher Plummer and Brad Dourif.
In a world (IN A WORLD) where vampires are these gloopy, pale, eyeless monsters, the Church employs Priests - some kind of super-warriors with jumpy-flippy powers and cool weapons - to beat them back. This works too well, they win the war, and the priests are assimilated into society, which would be easier if they didn't have fucking crosses tattooed on their faces. One such Priest (Bettany) has retired to a life of brooding when vampires kill his sister-in-law (Mädchen Amick), mortally wound his brother (Stephen Moyer), and kidnap his niece Lucy (Collins).
Priest asks the Church Council to be reinstated, but the lordy high monsignor guy (Plummer) tells him to piss off, we won the war, no more vampires, these are just raiders out in the wastelands. Obviously Priest can't let that go, so he follows Sheriff Hicks (Gigandet), the local law and also Lucy's boyfriend, out into the wastelands where he kills a bunch of familiars (pale humans with weird eyes) and vampires, until he discovers that this is all being orchestrated by a former priest-turned-vampire (Urban)!
This is based on a graphic novel, and it very much feels like it. It's also inspired by Blood, the old first-person shooter video game, which I've never played. It's a little sad in some ways, because it's got a great cast, Bettany is doing his best and he's actually pretty good as an action hero, and the premise has some schlocky gothic potential. But it just kinda...ploops out?
Like, these things are "vampires," which is fine, they're night-stalking creatures that drink blood. But what are they? It's a big screaming deal that Black Hat (Urban's character) is a "human vampire", but that's never discussed until close to the end. Familiars can handle sunlight, and that's apparently what happens when people get bitten, but people can be "infected" - does that mean they grow into the gross hanging blob-cocoons that Priest finds in the vampire train? The logistics are never explained, and that's only a problem because these are "vampires" and that word has a lot of baggage that I don't think we really needed.
Also, making the movie PG-13 was a bad choice. This was in 2011, when everything had to be PG-13 (we were in the early stages of the MCU and the studios were realizing how much money there was in adapting comics and bringing in the 13-20 demographic, but they apparently missed that you have to adapt them well), so here we have a movie about brutal vampires that had to animate part of its sequence so it could show blood and dismemberment (the animated sequence is pretty cool, granted).
It's not a bad watch, it's fun to watch Bettany nibble scenery and Urban and Dourif chew it, but it's dark and dour and it could have been more interesting.
My Grade: D+ Rewatch Value: Low
Next up: Public Enemy, technically, though I suspect I'm going to get another crappy movie from Toasty today
The Game: Coven & Crucible The Publisher:13th Moon Games Degree of Familiarity: Many things about it seem familiar, but no, haven't played it Books Required: Just the one
I don't know if I'd actually run this game; the system seems deceptively simple (roll 2d12, try to roll under a difficulty) but the more I read the book the more confused I became. Like, there's "degrees" and "formula" and "level of success" and "math", and it's all very janky. The system reminds me of OWoD, not so much in the specifics (as that's a dice pool system and this really isn't), but just in some of the ways it's presented.
Also, as long as I'm bitching, we could have used an editor for clarity. Lots of passive voice and some funny typos (the GM in this game is the "Storyteller," further cementing the OWoD connection, but there's one place where they're called the "DM" and I thought, "whoops, I know where you started!").
But there's also a lot I like about this game. I like the setting - in very brief, it's the modern world but magic is real and an accepted part of society. There are witch hunters, but they're crazy terrorists because hating "magic" is like hating "cooking." Magic is depicted as a skill that anyone can do, if they're willing to put the time in, and most people who want to use it will pay someone else to do it for them.
There's also a lot of John Wick in here (that's actually one of the stated inspirations) - witches have their own currency called "Pentacles" that don't have a fixed value so much as carrying more or less weight depending on who's spending them. There's a chain of witch-only hotels called the Continental Crucible where violence is prohibited. If you wanted to sum the game up as "what if John Wick but find/replace 'assassin' with 'witch'" you'd be in the right ball park.
The game was created by a married couple and their daughter - the wife did the setting/world building, the husband did the mechanics, and the daughter did the art (which I have to say is really dope, so hats off to Art Goblin Charlotte. They did a revised version recently and I didn't back it (I rarely back new editions of games I haven't played), but actually I think I might have to grab a copy at some point, especially if I can find more info about the mechanics.
My point here is that the inspiration and setting foundation of the game are solid, and, in reading it, I can see how to run it. That's actually a big deal, because I read so many RPGs, and a lot of them I read and think "eh" or "I could make this fun for the right group, but it would be a lot of work." This actually pokes at my brain a little more, and not just because I'm an ex-Wiccan myself. So let's make a witch!
I don't have a concept handy, so let's find a theme song. Just a moment. And the randomness gods have given me..."Killing Boys" by Halsey!
I really like this song, for multiple reasons. First, it samples Jennifer's Body, so like, good start. It's a song about revenge, but unlike similar songs ("Before He Cheats," f'rex), it seems to refer to the old adage that someone seeking revenge should dig two graves. So I don't think I want to make a character who is after revenge, how about someone who got their revenge and now gets to live with it?
So, my character is Devin Dowling (not a superhero, despite the alliteration). His little sister Denise was killed by a drunk driver when he was 17 (she was 13), and the guy got out after doing 3 years (so Devin was 20). Devin wound up at the same coffee house as the guy one winter evening - this was after Devin had already done quite a bit of therapy and tried to let go of the anger he was facing. The guy (let's call him Ben) was chatting with some friends, and one of them asked the terms of his parole. And Ben said, "oh, I'm not allowed to drink."
It was the way he said "drink." It wasn't "I'm not allowed to drink, because I killed someone while drunk and that's understandable" or "I'm not allowed to drink and that sucks because I miss it", the tone was more "I'm not allowed to drink and that is an imposition." And Devin lost any progress he'd made, and went after revenge.
He tried to hire a witch to hex the fucker, and he couldn't find one who would. Hexing people is ethically shaky at the best of times, and there are laws about it in any case. So Devin started studying magic to do it himself. He did, got his revenge (I'll get more specific after I figure out what exactly Devin can accomplish, magically speaking), and now he's got that hanging over his head. And he's still angry.
Whew, that's bleak. Now for Attributes! I start with 3 in each of them (Will, Body, Agility, Magic, or "WBAM" for short. "Wa-Bam," maybe?) and then I get 7 points to split up. I think Devin has put a lot of time into learning magic, so let's max it out (the max is 7, so that's 4 of my points). And then I'll put two points into Body and one into Will, leaving Agility at 3.
Skills! There are nine Skills, I start with 4 points in each one and I can split up 13 points betwixt them. The maximum is 13, so if I want to be really specialized I could pump 9 freaking points into one Skill (but I do not think I wish to do that).
Let's just take these one at a time. Academics, I'm inclined to leave at 4, but I might put a point or two into it. Magical (there's an Attribute called "Magic" and a Skill called "Magical", no way that gets confusing at the table) should get some points, so how about we put 3 into it for now? Strategic includes sub-skills (that's next) involving planning and executive function, and actually that's something Devin should have some ability for, so let's put 3 points there, too (6 spent, 7 remaining).
Artistic and Martial can start at 4. Technical might be something Devin is good at...Athletics I'd normally raise, but I see Devin as not the most physical of guys. I'll put 2 into Technical for now.
That leaves Social and Underworld with 5 points remaining. I'll put them all into Underworld; Devin has spent a lot of time learning to do shady shit.
And now, sub-skills. Each Skill has seven of these, meaning that there's 63 of the fuckers. Fortunately, they're all pretty intuitive, although that's a lot, it's not nearly the most ridiculously granular I've seen. I get 63 points to throw around, but I don't start with any points in anything. I also don't seem to be capped by the controlling Skill, so that's nice. My max here is 7, so if I wanted to be really shit-hot at 9 sub-skills, I could.
Right, well, let's just list the ones I think Devin should have some ability in:
*There seems to be considerable overlap between these sub-skills.
** These too.
Well, I could put 3 into each of those and have 15 points remaining. Do I wish to do that? Sure, let's do that. Using my remaining 15 points, I shall bump Hexing to 7 (11 remaining), Stealth to 5 (9 remaining), Occult to 5 (7 remaining), Awareness to 6 (3 remaining), Lock-Picking to 4 (2 remaining) and Investigation to 5.
Traits! These are basically Merits & Flaws without the Flaws; there's some mention of some of these applying negative modifiers but it all seems to be in service to the player. So I get 7 points' worth. Let's see.
Definitely not Common Sense (I note, with some amusement, that it's basically the same as the Merit of the same name in OWoD, which we always used to joke was underpriced at 1 point). Let's take Criminal Mind at 2 points, Devin has spent the last few years thinking about how to crime at someone. Similarly, I think Contacts makes sense - Devin has been looking to find someone to hex this guy for a while and I'm sure would have talked to some people. Each instance of the Contacts trait gives me a bonus to rolls with a given group (meaning I could level 2 with Vampires but level 3 with one of the witch Houses). Let's take level 1 with House Strega, and level 1 with Vampires. That leaves me 3 points.
Let's just put the last 3 into Single-Minded (which gives me a bonus on almost any action as long as it's focused, but makes me shit at multi-tasking).
Derived stats!
Health is 13 + (Body x 2), or 23 for me. Base Initiative is Will + Agility (7). Potion Tolerance is 7 (I can drink 7 potions in an hour before suffering "negative effects"). Alcoholic Beverage Tolerance (no, seriously, it's a thing, though I'm not sure why)...I can have 5 strong drinks in an hour before negative effects.
Speed is (Body + Agility + Athletics)2, or 22. Sprint is Body + Endurance, so 5. Magic Resistance is Magic + Magical (see?) + Endurance, or 14. I get 2d12 Pentacles (roll...14). And that's it! (I ain't filling out the back of the sheet, it's a bunch of stuff that would be useful in play but not for chargen.)
Devin is just shy of 6' tall, very skinny, maybe a touch of asthma. He's got his sister's name and dates (birthdate - death date) tattooed on his right arm in red ink. He's got blond hair and green eyes, and he never stops moving his hands when he's talking.
The big question - did he kill Ben? I think he didn't, I think he made him drunk by hexing him and had him arrested for parole violation. And again, it didn't help.
The Omega Man is a sci-fi post-apocalypse flick starring Charlton Heston, Anthony Zerbe, Rosalind Cash, Paul Koslo, Lincoln Kilpatrick, and Eric Launeville.
Neville (Heston) is the last man on Earth...sort of. He was a government scientist who was working on a vaccine for "the plague," a bio-engineered disease that causes people to choke out and die within minutes. He gets the plague but injects himself with the drug before he dies, making him immune, but he doesn't have the apparatus to make more and most of the world is dead anyway.
Not all, though. Sufferers of the plague sometimes turn into white-skinned, light-sensitive ghouls, led in a fanatical society by Mathias (Zerbe). They see Neville as the last remnant of the old world (they call him a "follower of the wheel," which I thought was a nicely poetic touch) and want to kill him to cement their hold on the new world.
But then Neville finds a small enclave of children, looked after by Lisa (Cash) and Dutch (Koslo). They all have the plague but it doesn't make you a ghoul or kill you right away, necessarily. Neville, now having a reason to bother, uses his own blood as a way to make a cure, but gets stabbed and bleeds out in a fountain in the most heavy-handed religious metaphor ever put to film.
This is the second film adaptation of Richard Matheson's novel I Am Legend (the first was 1964's The Last Man on Earth, and then in 2007 we got I Am Legend starring Will Smith). It's interesting to me, reading the synopses of the other two movies, that all of them involve Neville dying at the end, but the original novel and the 1964 version have Neville dying as a monster (the titular "legend") while the Heston and Smith versions have him heroically sacrificing himself after fashioning a cure. I knew that there was an alternate ending to the Smith version that was closer to the novel, but it still misses the biggest point of the novel: That the infected have a society and that they are afraid of the last man on Earth, because he hunts them during the day and kills them.
So taking The Omega Man as its own thing rather than an adaptation of Matheson's novel, it's a fun dystopian film. The shots of Los Angeles completely empty as Neville drives around are haunting, and Heston does a good job of portraying Neville as just a bit screwy from isolation. The monsters aren't terribly threatening - they look scary and Mathias' rhetoric is appropriately fanatical, but they're pale people wearing robes (that they seem to spontaneously generate, because I don't know where the hell else they're getting them) that won't use guns, so they're only dangerous in numbers. (In the novel, they're flat-out vampires.) Rosalind Cash's performance is good, but then she becomes infected and turns white and spends the rest of the movie waffling between joining "the Family" and trying to help Neville. It's a little muddled.
Anyway, it's a classic and a staple of the genre, but it's a pretty poor adaptation of the source material, and now I really want to see The Last Man on Earth.
Today in "oddly specific RPGs," we have a game about mountaineering.
The Game: Full Send The Publisher:12 Pins Press Degree of Familiarity: None Books Required: Just the one
I got this game in the mail (I backed the Kickstarter) recently, but I picked it up to read because I'm planning my next Chill case and I thought maybe it'd give me some mountaineering-related inspiration. It didn't, really, but I'm really glad I read it.
Games that are this niche in their subject matter are frequently mechanically weak. That is, someone bolts a cool idea onto a basic-ass system (roll d6s and count 4s, whatever) and the result is perfectly serviceable but the mechanics don't really do anything interesting.
This game, the system is custom-designed to deal with not only the physical realties of mountaineering, but also the mindset that it takes to climb a goddamn mountain. It's a Tarot-based game, you make your "mountain" by pulling several Major Arcana (or using a pre-designed mountain where the cards are decided for you). Each card represents an obstacle, and the number on the card tells you the number each player has to beat with their cards to bypass said obstacle. That means that some cards (The Magician, The High Priestess, and so on) are so easy that basically any card gets you by them, but some (basically The Wheel of Fortune on up) are going to require some choices.
The mountain can absolutely kill you, and that's handled well, too. I have no idea if I'll ever run this game, but I kind of want to because I think the system is really cool, and that's rare. So let's making a climber.
Step 1: Name and pronouns. Let's name my guy Jorge Morales. He's Puerto Rican/Cuban, but grew up in western North Carolina (his parents had a long and winding road from their places of birth).
Step 2: Class, Drive, Flaw. My Class is much the same as in other RPGs, it's what kind of thing I can do in the context of climbing. For Jorge, I want to pick The Newcomer. That means I get to mulligan my hand once at the beginning of a summit, and if I come in last with Glory Points at the end of a summit, I get an extra 500.
For Drive, I'll take "I idolise another, more experienced climber in the group. I want to impress them." (Obviously I'll leave that unspecified, as it would be another PC.) For Flaw, "I tend to forget about long-term-goals in favor of short-term gains" sounds fun. I note, with some annoyance, that there's no slot for these on the character sheet. There's plenty of white space so it wouldn't be hard to add them, but grr.
Step Three: Relationships. I get one worth 3 points and one worth 1 point. These have to be maintained during downtime, but they degrade in play if I run out of Luck (at which point they act like hit points, kind of). For Jorge, I feel like he's close with his dad, Arturo. Arturo still lives in Shelby, NC and Jorge visits him a lot; he still works in a machine shop, but those days are coming to an end. For the other one, we'll say Jorge is dating a woman named Amiya. They haven't been seeing each other very long, but Jorge is pretty smitten.
Step Four: Lifestyle. I think Jorge is Getting By. That'll cost me 800 GP between summits to maintain. I get to pick an advance now, I'll take Package Holiday Pass (basically I can pay GP to improve relationships during downtime). That'll be costly, but y'know, dream big.
I get 3 Hand Size and 5 Luck, and that's it, y'all, ready to climb! I think Jorge is about 25, maybe has a business degree or something equally dull, but used to skateboard and do similar sports when he was younger. He still likes to be active and he loves being outside (which Amiya does not get), and he fell in with this group after meeting [whoever it is I'm fixated on]. Jorge is Hispanic, obvs, black hair, brown eyes, has a few tats above the elbow because his mom would freak out if she knew (she already knows).
That's it! So quick n' easy, especially in contrast to yesterday.
Back in Dragonia, for the final time (I mean, maybe not ever, but for now). Here's last time.
Our heroes venture into the caverns and tunnels beneath the Searscale Springs, searching for some idea as to why the temperature of the Springs is changing. They pick their way through the tunnels and find a four-way split. Zeblek has a lantern around dris neck, and Stars consults dris Geographical Primer and finds a decent map of the tunnels!
The map indicates that one tunnel dips way below the Springs, and then the map kind of ends, so no one apparently got that deep. The next tunnel goes under the Springs proper, and that seems like the best option. Toverinn consults with dris spirit guide, Sprinkles, and asks how they can make the spirits of this place happy. Sprinkles tells them that the spirits would love the Springs to regain their heat, and the best way to do that would be to go through these tunnels.
They head down the tunnels, Zeblek first, but Zeblek misses dris footing and falls into a rushing underground river!
The other dragons suddenly realize they're without light, and hear Zeblek getting washed away ("wheee!"). Toverinn follows, swooshing through the tunnels, and OB tries to find a light in dris saddlebag of potential but then remembers dre used it earlier and left it topside. Dre jump into the water to follow, trying to check dris descent. Stars, ever the cautious one, digs dris claws into the side and, remembering the twists and turns of the tunnels, slowly climbs along the chute.
Zeblek shoots out of a tunnel into a cavern and lands on a stone surface, getting dris bearings. Toverinn emerges a moment later and Zeblek catches them. OB shoots out next, and Zeblek and Toverinn stretch across the path of the waterslide to catch them. OB, however, fails to act despite danger and all three dragons wind up getting pulled in a big dragony clump into another tunnel!
The tunnel empties out into a shaft, and they all plummet down. They land in water at the bottom, and realize that they can see again - something in the water is luminescent. Zeblek takes a big breath and dives down to try and find what's here, and at the bottom dre finds long, feather-like protrusions coming. Dre get close, and suddenly the feathery bits fold against the stalks and reaches out and drag dris leg!
But fortunately, that's not Zeblek, that was dris mirror image. Dre knows that isn't going to last, though, and has to decide between diving deeper or resurfacing. Zeblek being Zeblek, dre dives, and emerges into another tunnel that leads up, back into the tunnels...
...the tunnels empty out into a large cavern with multiple exits that water flows through. Zeblek notices that one of them is blocked by an oblong object. Dre gets closer and realizes that it's an egg, and that the water gets almost unbearably hot the closer dre gets. Zeblek doesn't know what it is, and figures dre needs some help from Stars. Dre calls upon the void moon and opens a portal.
Meanwhile, Stars has slowly picked dris way to the shaft and calls down to the them. After confirming that everyone is OK, a portal opens and Zeblek's head emerges. Dre calls Stars through, and shows them the egg. Meanwhile, OB and Toverinn climb and flap their way up the shaft, and find the portal as well (Zeblek helpfully kept it open). Stars consults dris books, and figures the egg to be...something unknown.
Dre has seen huge eggs before (the dison of Woodsedge, for instance), but the heat this thing gives off makes dre think it might be some kind of elemental. In any case, it's wedged up against a tunnel, and it's clearly been dislodged from someplace.
At this point they hear voices, and follow them to a chamber where they find three other drakes! OB recognizes one of them - Lokken, the drake that was in Mxlar'nishka's shack. The other two look very similar - long, serpentine bodies, jet black underbellies, but one has blue scales and the other golden brown. Stars realizes that these dragons might be triplets - all hatched from the same egg!
The two clutches talk a bit, and one of the triplets (Hexxen, the brown one) admits to picking up the egg from its resting place using magic - and then losing control and dropping it into the water. They've been trying to find it and return it ever since. OB dresses them down a bit, but they have found the egg now, so dre employs dris dragon trade to make a sling to drag the egg safely. The triplets show the clutch where they found the egg - there's a nest!
The nest looks like it's made of petrified wood, and there's no evidence of any other creatures around. It looks like this egg was here a long time. OB and the other dragons manage to get the egg back in, and Toverinn studies it, figuring that it might be close to hatching! They also realize, though, that they're right below the Springs, and that this egg must be what's been heating them all this time. If the egg hatches, that might effectively destroy the Springs. Do they want to do that?
They're talking this over when Mxlar'nishka arrives, surveys the area, and shoos the drakes out. OB lingers, though, checking what dre is doing, and sees them use moon magic on the area. OB demands to know what they're doing, and Mxlar'nishka says that dre is just dilating time, making sure the egg stays alive but doesn't hatch.
OB stands up to the older dragon, saying that keeping a living thing imprisoned isn't acceptable. Mxlar'nishka says that if OB can figure out a way to heat the Springs, dre is welcome to do it (dre probably doesn't really mean that, but OB takes it to heart). Stars and Toverinn both agree - the egg is a living thing and needs to be free.
Over the next few weeks, the clutch works on developing a heating system and shoring up the tunnels. Stars calls on the liberty moon to create perpetual fire to heat the springs, and they all look at the egg, wondering what it is. Stars mentions to Toverinn that dre could probably commune with it spiritually, and dre does so...
Dre sees themself hatch, and burst into flame, flying up through the rock and into the sky. Dre circles Dragonia, burning gloriously, for ten minutes or a thousand years, and then crashes back to earth in a plume of ash that clears to reveal an egg.
Toverinn reveals all this, a little awed, and the dragons help to hatch the egg. They watch as a little bear protrudes, followed by a scaly head, and then a small, winged creature. It hops around a bit and shakes off its shell, and then poofs into flame and bursts up through the bottom of a pool, vaporizing the water as it goes! It flies off into the skies, and the dragons watch it leaving a fiery trail.
OB sticks around for a while, making a maintenance manual for the new heating system. Stars returns to the capital library to record all of this. Toverinn follows the fire-creature across the continent. And Zeblek starts working on a play. Maybe something about a clutch of drakes that have to help with a controlled burn?
The Game: Children of Eriu The Publisher:Pendelhaven Press Degree of Familiarity: I played Fate of the Norns: Ragnarok a long-ass time ago, but never this one Books Required: Just the one, but it's like 500 freaking pages
Children of Eriu is basically "hey, what were the British Isles doing during Raganarok?" It works on the same weird (or should I say "Wyrd?" Ha-ha! That only works if you already know the game terminology) "draw runes from a bag" system as Fate of the Norns. It looks pretty cool, it's got a very thorough and actually pretty accessible setting, there's just a lot of it.
I remember thinking, too, that chargen in Children of Eriu vs. Norns wasn't as easy to follow, but I dunno. I guess I could pull out that game if I need to. Here we go!
I don't have a Norn, of course, but that's fine. The book says that starting level for PCs is typically 8-12, so let's split the difference and say 10. First thing we do, then, is split those points between Essence and Destiny. Essence is the number of runes in the bag, while Destiny is how many runes we draw when we "Wyrd" (that is, draw runes from the bag), so it's basically a choice between depth and breadth. Essence is 1-for-1, Destiny is 2-for-1. Let's split the difference again, and say 4 Essence, 3 Destiny.
Right, so now I need to wind up with four runes. I can pick them entirely randomly, pick one of each type (Physical, Mental, Spiritual) and then pick the last one randomly, or just pick them. I think I'll do the second one.
From left to right, that's Thurisaz (Barrier), Gebgift (Gift), Ing (Achievement), and Hagalaz (Storms & Chaos). Sure, let's move along.
Right, now we do Characteristics and Lifepaths. I do like Lifepaths! But we'll get there. We start off with Personality, and the book says to Wyrd once for each table. But does that mean draw one rune? When this character Wyrds, they'd draw three runes (equal to Destiny). Well, I don't want to be here all day, so I'll just draw one per. An example of chargen would be REALLY SODDING NICE HERE, GUYS.
Anywho, personality. I draw Jethe, which would give me...Egomaniac. Um, no thanks. I'll use that one for Motivation, let's say, which means my motivation is Joy of Life. Redrawing for Personality, I get Mann, which gives me "Defender". I can live with that. I don't think these are too important, anyway, as there's no slot on the sheet for them.
Early life! I need four runes, here, because there are four tables. I get...my old pal Thurisaz again, Uruz, Fehu, and Ing (again). Arranging these in a way that I find pleasant, I get: I was born in Cashiel (no idea why it's spelled that way), I have three surviving family members, a Faerie owes me a favor, and I was once left for dead. I'll keep all of this in mind as I move along. I'll skip the Brushes With Power tables because that would all be Norn-decided...actually, no, I'll Wyrd for Divine, because it'll play into my "favor from a Faerie" thing.
OK, my draw indicates that I got attacked by a bunch of Coblins who thought I had stolen some relic. Turns out I did have the relic, but I had it because a Faerie slipped it into my pack. I eventually fought off the Coblins and the Faerie got its thingie back, and was pretty grateful that I hadn't lost it or died, so it owes me one.
Dweller relationships I can skip, as it's just me. Social Connections, I'll draw for that, sure. I know the chieftain of a clan, someone who oversees a small kingdom. My guy gets around.
Social standing is my occupation before shit got fucky (also known as "Celtic Twilight"). I get...Liberated Thrall. Um, sure, that's fine. I bought my freedom and worked myself up from nothing (you know, I may have been a thrall when the whole "coblins" thing happened, and my Faerie patron may have nudged things in my direction). I get 125 skatt, but there's no place on the sheet to write that or gear, so that must not be important, either! Moving on.
Choose an Archetype and specializations! There are five Archetypes to choose from (really seven, but two of them aren't available to starting characters) and each one has three specializations. Just a moment. Oh, sure, let's pretend we're playing Werewolf and pick Fianna. For Specialization, I like Ceithernach - ambushers that command packs of dogs, that's pretty cool. That binds my Void rune to Mental, and gives me several abilities that I'd love to write on the sheet, but the font is set to "ant footprint". (Seriously, guys, invest in some fucking sheet design?)
Now I'm meant to map my runes onto the abilities, so I wind up with all of my runes mapped to an Active Talent, a Social Talent, a Skill, and a Passive Talent. These are laid out in a grid, and I seem to recall that in Norns you had to pick adjacent powers? I don't see that mentioned, here, but I'm probably going to do it just to keep things simple. Man, I hate it when 500 page books can't be bothered to explain how the game works. I just checked and Norns actually did explain this better, though I fucked it up in the character I made (but I'm not going back and changing it).
OK, let's go. Active Powers first. I will assume I need to go adjacent and not diagonally. I'll start with Uncanny Ambush, because I really want the one below that (Wild Faol Shape, so I can turn into a goddamn wolf). I'll take Roll Out of the Way, and I'll take Uncanny Disarm.
Social powers! I'll take Chime-In (standing up for my friends, as I'm a defender), Encourage Ally, Timely Distraction, and Growl.
Skills! Survival Wilderness, Hunting & Trapping, obviously. Perception, you never go wrong. Sneak sounds good, too.
Passives! Companion in War sounds like it fits with the wolf-pack thing I have going. Woodland Run lets me take full Move in the woods, that's good for a hunter. Uncanny Opportunist is fine, but I really want Awareness of Danger, so that's my four!
Last thing would be to set starting equipment, but you all know how much I care about that (and there's no slot anyway). So instead, let's just describe my guy!
Irial is lanky, lean, and hairy. He's not dirty, but kind of looks like he should be (he's just got very dark hair and it's all over the place). He's always got a few hounds nearby, and has a habit of pricking his ears up as they do (though not nearly as noticeably, of course). Irial has learned the value of persistence and tenacity, so he's always going to defend himself and others, but mostly he's just in it for a good time.
There, done. I hate it when the game makes it so hard to sustain interest in the chargen process.
Observe & Report is a dark comedy starring Seth Rogen, Anna Faris, Ray Liotta, Michael Peña, Collette Wolfe, Jesse Plemmons, Aziz Ansari, Celia Weston, John Yuan, and Matthew Yuan. It's...not great.
Ronnie Barnhardt (Rogen) is the head of mall security at...a mall (I'm sure the name is mentioned but it's not important). He takes himself very seriously. It would be easy to say he takes his job seriously, but that's not remotely accurately - his job is just a way for him to live out his delusions of being a protector and a warrior. And then one day, a flasher (Randy Gambill) shows up and starts...flashing, and shows his junk to Brandi (Faris), a shallow, vapid, cosmetics salesperson who Ronnie happens to fixate on.
The actual police, in the personage of Detective Harrison (Liotta) show up and try to do actual police work, and Ronnie fucks with the investigation every step of the way. And then the next night, someone vandalizes and burgles the mall, meaning Harrison has to come back again, and Ronnie fucks it all up again. Someone in here gives Ronnie the idea that he should be a cop so he applies, but fails the psych eval (because he has bipolar disorder and has gone off his meds because everything's going so great), we get our Abyss moment, he gets fired, he comes back to the mall, chases down the flasher, and fucking shoots him (nonfatally).
There's a lot more I'm leaving out - he goes on a date with Brandi, there's a mall employee named Nell (Wolfe) that he flirts and talks with, and of course his right hand man Dennis (Peña, speaking with a strong lisp for some reason) turns out to be the thief. The movie does not work, and I've been trying to think about why.
I think part of it is that Ronnie is a truly despicable person. Yes, some of that is mental illness (and also his dad left when he was very small, his mom (Weston) is an alcoholic who used to fuck his friends when he was in high school). But Ronnie is a ticking time bomb - he's a gun enthusiast, he's quite capably violent (in a plot decision I don't fully understand, he's shown to be very able to handle multiple opponents in a fight), and he's a misogynst, homophobic, racist, bigot. He sexually assaults Brandi more than once, and then assumes they're dating after their one pretty awful date (which he blackmailed her into).
But also, the people around Ronnie don't...seem to mind? Like, a lot of people hate him, but his boss (Dan Bakkedahl) puts up with his bullshit for reasons I cannot fathom. Other folks just kind of soak up his abuse, and I have to assume some of it is because they're afraid of him (and rightly so, because he 100% reads as someone who's going to go on a shooting spree at some point), but even people who have the authority to call him out don't.
Part of the issue is that there are no good or likeable characters in the movie. Like, exactly none. Jesse Plemmons' Charles gets close; he's a mall employee moving up to security guard and serves as a very quiet voice of reason, but then jumps in a fight against a horde of cops to help Ronnie. Nell is pathetic, but other than the fact that she's got a foot cast and can't walk and that she's a "born-again virgin," we never learn anything about her. Even Harrison, who is initially positioned as a cop just trying to do his job, snaps at Ronnie (which is reasonable) but then heaps slurs on him.
So if this is a "watch this character unravel" a la Taxi Driver (which the directed cited as an inspiration), OK, but why make it a comedy? Why try to position Ronnie as this loveable goof (which is what the trailers did)? Ronnie is not lovable, he's scary, and the fact that it's the Ronnie Barnhardts of the world who are now members of ICE just kind of puts a sobering spin on all this.
Dark comedy is tricky at the best of times, and this had some potential, but it did not stick the landing. The only things I can say in its defense is a) the needle drops are good (there's a cover of "Where Is My Mind?" that I quite enjoyed) and b) the awkward moments don't linger too long, which is often a problem in Rogen movies.
Barbarian is a horror movie directed by Zach Cregger and starring Georgina Campbell, Justin Long, Bill Skarsgård, and Matthew Patrick Davis.
Tess (Campbell) rolls up to a house she's rented online in a truly shitty part of Detroit, and discovers that that it's been double-booked. There's a young man named Keight (Skarsgård) staying there, and after a few tense moments in which Tess very clearly weighs the pros and cons of entering this house with a dude she doesn't know, they discover they actually run in some of the same circles and wind up having a very pleasant evening together, chatting and drinking wine.
And then the next day, Tess gets locked in the basement and discovers a hidden door leading into a dark, man-made sub-basement, quite reasonably says "fuck that", but winds up looking a little deeper and finding a room with a bed, a bucket, a video camera, and a bloody handprint on the wall. Keith gets back and helps her escape, and doesn't take her concerns seriously, goes into the tunnels...and vanishes. Tess follows when she hears him scream, finds him in the dark, and then a monster-woman (Davis) pops out of nowhere and beats him to death against the wall.
(Sorry, did you think he was the lead?)
And then we cut to Hollywood, where actor A.J. Gilbride (Long) has just been accused of sexual assault by a coworker and is facing legal and financial issues. Turns out he actually owns the house, and he flies back to Detroit to sell it so he's got some money for lawyers. He, of course, stumbles into the hidden tunnels and finds Tess, and shit gets extremely fucky.
Barbarian is really one of the most effective horror movies of the decade, in my humble opinion, and Zach Cregger does really amazing work. The camera work, the shot composition, but also how the story is structured - setting up the situation and then jumping back to see how we got here, and then going forward and seeing how whatever happened in the past has evolved (I'm thinking here of the serial killer (Richard Brake) hunting a woman (no idea, didn't catch the character's name), and then we see her dress in the basement in present day). The little details like the way the killer has the videos labeled - some by name, but some by physical details or actions - go a long way to helping us understand who this guy is and what he's done.
The performances are all perfect. Both Skarsgård and Campbell play their initial meeting with an appropriate amount of trepidation, but then we get to see Keith just taking up space and becoming oblivious as it becomes obvious that he's not in danger, while Tess maintains her fear and guard. AJ, likewise, manages to get close to giving us some moments of humanity, but is never far from being a selfish and privileged jackass. And Matthew Patrick Davis gives us a terrifying but kind of sad performance as the Mother.
This is probably the movie I've been most excited to get on DVD, since it's only just become available on physical media because fucking Disney didn't want to release it. Power the people!
Played a Baker Street one-shot Saturday! Check it.
Our detectives:
Phoebe Vincent, "La Beatricé": Phoebe is an opera singer, a world traveler, and has a smile that lights up a room. She's an accomplished actor and comfortable amongst the upper classes, even if she's not herself monied.
Mickey Flanders: Mickey is a bootblack who sets up shop outside the theater and shines folks' shoes as they go in or out (which is how he met Phoebe). Mickey is easy to overlook and easy to underestimate, and that means he can get in and out of various places.
Bartholomew St. John: Bartholomew is a coroner, originally from a smaller city but moved to London because that's where the interesting dead people tend to be. Very interested in anatomy and tends to forget that's not a suitable conversation topic in mixed company.
Our detectives are having tea at 221 Baker Street and waiting to meet a client that Dr. Watson thinks perhaps needs their help. They are joined, after a bit, by one Miss Elizabeth White. She's young and attractive, but Mickey notices right away a couple of interesting things about her.
First, most wealthy young women are pale (because they don't go outside much, and when they do they're still in London). Miss White, however, has an even tan and looks like she has been out in the sun quite a bit. Likewise, her footwear isn't what Mickey would have expected (and the kid knows footwear). She's wearing boots, obviously custom made, and they have dirt in the treads. Her clothes, too, are cut strangely - they look...well, comfortable and easy to move in. You know, the way a man's clothes would be cut.
Miss White greets everyone and then sits and starts talking, but stands up and starts pacing almost immediately. She was, until a few days ago, on an excavation in Meidum, Egypt. She returned at her mother's request (she's ill), and she brought back several artifacts that were meant to go to the British Museum. One of these artifacts has gone missing, however, and she's very distraught - these artifacts were not hers, but in her care. This is also why she'd rather not go to Scotland Yard, that and she doesn't think they'll take it seriously.
She tells them that she saw the artifact - a small, stone object in a the shape of a fertility goddess - packed in a box, and it was still in that box when she got to London. It was taken to her room at her family's London home, she left the room to go to breakfast. Later in the day she went back to her room and noted the lid was off - and the artifact was missing!
The detectives ask the obviously stuff: Which goddess was depicted (Isis, or maybe Nut, there's some debate), was the artifact worth anything (not on its own, it wasn't encrusted with jewels or anything like that), who was home at the time (Miss White's mother, her, and several staff - Blackwell (the butler), Esther (the maid), Mrs. Landlow (the head housekeeper), Mrs. Rose (the cook)). They ask if it would be possible to see the scene of the crime, and of course Miss White is more than happy to take them. She wants this cleared up quickly.
They arrive at the White house and are admitted by Blackwell, the butler. They are shown upstairs to Miss White's rooms (Miss White herself waits in the study), and the detectives search the area. They find a number of things of note - there's a bit of sand on the floor, perhaps tracked in by the thief? The window is unlocked, and they find a bootprint on the floor. They also find a newspaper clipping about an Egyptologist named Albert Huntington, accusing him of faking artifacts, and a love note on the floor behind the desk (from "Richard" to "My Dearest Elizabeth"). And they find a white horsehair on a chair.
They sit down and start working through all of this. The newspaper article and the sand don't seem important to them. The bootprint...they wonder at first if it's Miss White's (she does wear boots), but Mickey deduces that it's a man's boot, and quite large at that. The thief seems to have gone out (or even come through) the window, and they figure that the horsehair was left behind then - maybe the thief is an avid rider? As for the love note, their guess is that Miss White tossed or swept it to the floor, thinking it wasn't as important as what she was actually working on.
With all of this information, they head back downstairs. Phoebe goes to talk to Elizabeth, while Bartholomew and Mickey look at the ground beneath Miss White's window. They find footprints indicating that someone did indeed jump from her window and land here, but there's no way to track the footprints (they're too close to the street). Likewise, it seems unlikely that anyone saw this happen; there isn't much traffic.
Meanwhile, Phoebe questions some of the staff. She starts with Blackwell, but apart from confirming timelines, he doesn't have much new to contribute. But when she talks to Esther, the maid, she learns something interesting - Esther saw a man in the hallway around the time that the theft would have occurred. He was quite tall and had curly red hair. She tells Phoebe that he looked familiar, but she wasn't sure who he was. She also confirms that Mrs. White had luncheon with two other women, Mrs. Loftwood and Mrs. Thomas, that morning.
Mickey goes into the shoe-room (which I'm sure has a name but I don't know it) and looks over the various footwear there - the kid knows his shoes, and quickly confirms that none of the shoes here are big enough to have made the print they saw upstairs, which probably lets the male staff and Major White off the hook (not that they really suspected him, anyway). Mickey then goes into the kitchen and talks to Mrs. Rose, the cook, who gives him some bread and jam ("you're a skinny as a wee kitten, dear"), but doesn't have much other information - she was in the kitchen cooking that morning.
Phoebe talks with Mrs. Landlow, the head housekeeper, and when she mentions Esther's story about seeing a man, Mrs. Landlow initially says that she thought Esther was just being silly and imagining things. But in thinking about, she thinks maybe she's seen that man, too, maybe a friend of Mrs. White or the family? She either can't or won't name anyone specific, though.
The detectives still want to talk to Mrs. White, but before they do that they talk to Elizabeth again. She confirms that "Richard" is Richard Loftwood, the son of one of her mother's friends, whom her mother has been trying to get her to marry for quite a while now. She doesn't remember seeing him lately, but then she wasn't here when the theft occurred.
Phoebe goes to talk to Mrs. White, and learns that she doesn't really understand why her daughter wants to dig in the dirt in foreign countries and indeed why her husband encourages it. She definitely feels that Elizabeth should be married, and she speaks highly of Richard (and mentions that he is indeed an avid rider). Phoebe doesn't accuse Mrs. White or Richard of anything, obviously, and doesn't take up much of her time. The detectives reconvene, and decide to go to the riding club and see if they can find Richard there.
They separate when they get there - Mickey sets up his station around the stables to catch men finishing their rides (and makes some money, as the reception he gets is "oh, very clever, young man!"). Bartholomew wanders the area trying to look like a prospective member, though he's not really fooling anyway. Phoebe glides around looking at the horses, hiding in plain sight. They've been there only a little while when a tall man with curly, red hair steps up for a shoe shine - obviously Richard Loftwood!
Mickey suddenly realizes that he's in no position to question this grown, upper-class man, and signals to Phoebe, who glides over and strikes up a conversation. Richard is charming and polite (and has in fact seen Phoebe perform), and offers to show her around. She gets him talking about Elizabeth, and he clearly has some real regard for her, but agrees with her mother about how she really shouldn't been traipsing around the world digging up old artifacts.
This all goes very well until Phoebe refers to the missing artifact, whereupon Richard excuses himself and leaves the club. He gets in his carriage and heads back to town (the detectives follow), and goes to his house. A moment later, one of the house staff emerges carrying a note and jogs off.
Bartholomew runs after him and handily keeps pace, while Mickey tries but stumbles (and Phoebe just hails a hack and scoops up Mickey on the way). They follow the messenger all the way to the White house, and Bartholomew goes to the door with the messenger, basically pretending they're just both here by coincidence. Blackwell opens the door and the messenger hands him the note, saying that it's to go straight to Mrs. White. Bartholomew quickly informs Elizabeth of what's happening, and she confronts Blackwell and demands the note.
Blackwell, rather caught between a rock and a hard place, has no choice but to give Elizabeth the note. She reads it, folds it back up, clearly livid, and hands it back to Blackwell, telling him to go ahead and deliver it. By this time Phoebe and Mickey have arrived, and Elizabeth is about to leave the house, intending to go to Richard's house and inform him exactly what he can do with the marriage proposal. Phoebe talks her into going to Baker Street instead and giving them a note to give to Richard, to avoid a scene.
Elizabeth sees the wisdom, here, and dashes off a (probably not very kind) note to Richard. The detectives head over to Loftwood house (and we all spared a thought for poor Mrs. White, quite behind the times now and fretting over the note she just got from Richard saying something like "um, people are asking about this figurine, what do?"). The confront Richard and give him Elizabeth's note, and he relents - Mrs. White asked him to steal the artifact in order to discredit Elizabeth the museum, hopefully forcing her to stay in England and give this up. He says that it was never his intention to actually hurt Elizabeth, and expresses remorse for his part in all this. Phoebe opines that, with a sincere apology, he might salvage his friendship with Elizabeth, and Richard gives them the artifact and tells his butler to get him a brandy.
The detectives return to Baker Street and hand the artifact over to Elizabeth. She thanks them profusely, and pledges that if they ever make their way to Egypt, they have a friend and ally there. She's going back as soon as she possible can.
The Game:Obelisk The Publisher:Tessallation Games LLC, but I have no idea if the game is still available Time: We played two games in about 30 minutes Players: Me, Cael, Del, Ada
Game Play: The game "board" consists of 25 puzzle-piece looking things like in the picture up there. They represent several different kinds of terrain, and one of them has a portal symbol. All of them have little blue arrows on them (except mountains).
The idea here is that monsters are streaming out of the portal and follow the path the arrows point. If they leave the grid, cross their own trail, or get to the mountains, you lose (the game is cooperative, forgot to mention). Players can avoid this by rotating tiles to guide their path, putting "towers" (dice) in the spaces between tiles, and then raising the value of the towers (by incrementing the dice up) to capture a monster every turn.
Before the horde arrives
Incrementing the towers up requires spending monsters, captured by the tower. You can also "hunt," but that only grabs purple monsters (the weakest), and increasing a tower requires four of those. Color of monster determines how far they move and how strong a tower has to be to capture them. So, purples can be captured by any tower (assuming the terrain is friendly, but we'll get to that), but they move faster, while yellows are in the middle and reds move slow, but they require at least a 4 on the die to capture.
Terrain matters because the non-yellow (plains) tiles have modifiers on them. The green ones (forest, I think) subtract one from the effective tower strength targeting any monsters on that space. So if you want to capture a purple monster on a green space, you need a tower of 2 or better.
The map with some towers n' shit
Opinions: The game moves pretty fast, it's very easy to lose. You have to plan moves a couple of turns ahead, and there's very little randomness other than the tile placement (at least with the setup we had; you can slide the difficulty by adding more monsters). It's a fun strategy game, if a bit unforgiving, and the manual needs an editor, but not so much that it's unreadable.
This is a game that Cael picked up at a con and learned it from the creators (who are local), and apparently there are some advanced options, so maybe that changes the game in a fun way. I dunno, I'd check it out.
I should say up front that I'm doing this game now because the...sequel? Second edition? I dunno is Kickstarting and, as of today, not quite funded. I should also say that I'm quite sure the author would as soon spit on me as look at me, and fair enough, but I'm still impressed with the game and Mars Watch looks pretty cool.
The Game: The Watch The Publisher:Peach Pants Press Degree of Familiarity: None, other than the fact that it's PbtA Books Required: Just the one
I don't feel like going down the rabbit hole to figure out where in the early incarnations of PbtA this game came out. I'm actually only interested in that at all because it's one of the "create the threat facing the group" - there are a lot of those, but this may have been one of the earlier ones? Anyway, the basic conceit here is that the Shadow (whatever that is in your game) has infected the land and driven the men - just the men - to violence and despoilation of the world. The Clans (which are enumerated, but not given a lot of detail) broke apart, the civilization fell back, and you're playing a member of the Watch. That is, a woman or enbie task with driving back the Shadow and protecting the people remaining.
Why the gender strictures? Because the game's about toxic masculinity, which is something I know a little bit about. Without wanting to get too personal, I actually had a very good model of masculinity, because my dad was a gentle, patient man, not prone to outbursts or macho chest-thumping (my mother was another matter, make of that what you will). I, on the other hand, while never having been particularly prone to demonstrative macho-ness, have absolutely been prone to anger and even violent outbursts, and it's something that took me a long time to get over. (And that's all the self-analysis you're getting today.)
Anyway, the idea is:
You can read in the Mars Watch Kickstarter how the author's notions of all this have evolved since coming out as trans, but I'm just rolling with what I have.
As with a lot of PbtA games, we're starting with a playbook. Here they're all animals (rather, they're named for animals). The game also does something I really like, which is give a list of the playbooks with a one-sentence blurb and a "this playbook is good for players who X".
Now, if I were actually playing this game, I suspect I would lean toward Bear or Wolf, because I like playing support characters (Wolf also has some interesting relationships with violence that, at the right table, would be fun to explore). For our purposes today, however, I think I want to pick the Fox.
So, starting with name, gender presentation, and demeanor. Gender presentation is, of course, important in this game. I don't mind playing cis or trans women occasionally, though I'm generally more comfortable playing men (which isn't an option here, obviously) or, failing that, non-binary folks. The Fox playbook is very much about moving between worlds (living and dead, or physical and spirit, mostly), so I think I want to lean into that and have my character's presentation be "fluid." I'm gonna name them Teka (it's a choice off the list, and the lists of names are actually constructed to give some thought to the phonology and consistency of the language at work here, which I appreciate).
Completing Teka's look, I think we'll say they have a, arresting face, ragged clothing, and a distracted demeanor. I like the notion of being half "here", but that means I'm also half "elsewhere."
Gear! I get a symbol of my clan, which should probably wait until I pick that. I get a token, mark, or scar that shows the price I paid to talk to spirits. I think the fingers on Teka's left hand are permanently crooked, like half-curled into a fist. When they learned to commune with spirits, the left side of their body was possessed, and they managed to get it out, mostly.
I get a spear, sword, bow, shield, and armor. I get to pick two options off the list to make my gear unique. Let's see here. I'm gonna say my shield is covered in spikes (I just kind of like that imagery), and that my bow is famous for killing the Three Kings. The Three Kings were a pride (pack?) of hyena/lion creatures that were picking off Watch members. The got the nicknamed because the horns on their heads looked like crowns, from a distance. Teka killed them with arrows over the course of three nights, took their horns, and use them to adorn their shield.
Rank...I can be a recruit, initiate, warden, or corporal. If I were playing this, we could only have one corporal, but of course that doesn't matter here. I feel like Teka is more experienced than a recruit or initiate, so let's make them a Warden.
Normally, here I'd do Ties that Bind (establishing history with the other PCs and giving and getting Camaraderie), but y'know, just me, so moving on!
Clan! I get to pick one, but they aren't given much detail, really just a profession. Clan Dothas are mystics, which would make sense, but I think I want Clan Sharn (hunter/gatherers). Going back to the symbol of my clan, I think it should be an empty basket. The thinking here is that Clan Sharn knows that people are always consuming, and if you're going to keep your people fed, you must treat that basket as if it's always empty.
Stats! I get Cunning 0, Luck 2, Training -1, and Valor 0, and then I get to add 1 wherever I want. I think I want Training to not suck so bad, so I'll bump that to 0.
Moves! I get two from the playbook. Let's see now. The obvious one is spirit walk, which lets me (as the name implies) walk in the spirit world and do a number of things, but I actually think Teka's experience with possession made them a little gunshy about actually going there. Instead, I'll take eyes in the sky (I can mark an animal and then see through its eyes) and spirit bond (I can open up, the basic social sort of move, with my Camaraderie with that person rather than using Valor, as long as I teach them about spirits).
And that's actually about it! I picture Teka as kind of on the smaller side, but oddly shredded in a "damn, that skinny guy can run/fight/lift" sort of way. Their armor is light, but the shield is heavy, especially with those horn-spikes on it. Teka has black hair and green eyes, and while they don't know it, their left hand flexes while they're sleeping.
