Character Creation: Rockopolis

THE NINTH GAME OF XMAS, TWENTY-TWENTY-TWO,
IS ROCKOPOLIS
THEN BROKEN EARTH,
GOOD SOCIETY,
THEN MOONPUNK,
VISIGOTHS VS. MALL GOTHS,
PIRATES OF PUGMIRE,
THE TROUBLESHOOTERS,
THEN STAR-CROSSED,
AND THE FIRST GAME WAS THE ONE RING 2ND ED!

Just keeps goin'. Also, merr crimas to all who celebrate.

The Game: Rockopolis
The Publisher: Minos Games
Degree of Familiarity: None, and it's gonna stay that way
Books Required: Just the one

The "nine" slot in the song is "drummers drumming," so I wanted a game about music. I'd already done Rockalypse, unfortunately, but I did have Rockopolis on my shelf. I hadn't had a chance to read through before yesterday, but aside from having a kind of low-rent layout, which I can forgive, it looked like a kind of urban fantasy game wherein you play rock musicians, okey-day. 

Well...this game has some issues. First and foremost, it's translated from Italian but the translation is pretty poor. It reads like just a literal, verbatim translation and, um, that's not how you translate books. As such, there are a lot of phrases that just flat-out don't make sense, and a bunch that do if you read them a few times. Either way it's a chore to read.

But I was trying to look past that, because that by itself is not an indictment of the game. And past the translation issues, it's just kind of a crap game. For one thing, it's pretentious as all get-out. The foreword to the game talks about rock n' roll and pirate radio stations and that's actually pretty cool, but then the tone of the rest of the game writing is just smarmy. Check it.

There's more, but you get the idea.

Like, what is this crap in aid of? Yes, we all know what the "Name" slot on the sheet is for. You could just say "pretty self-explanatory" and move the fuck along. And the writing is like this all through the book. 

A playful, familiar, or even, dare I say it, humorous tone is fine in an RPG, but you have to know how to write like that and also convey the information you need to, without losing your reader. Rockopolis is just tedious and cringey. 

But never mind that, what about the game itself? Well...it's pretty thin, particularly for a 224-page book. You're playing members of a rock band, and the main struggle appears to be with your own "Muse." But your Muse isn't really a muse, it's a vice with a "clever" name, so if you like to gamble your Muse is "Las Vegas," if you like drugs it's Stormbringer (???), and so on. Some of the names make sense, some don't. The tone of all this is very much "your Muse is a demon that can overtake you," and like, cool, the idea of grappling with an addiction that also creatively fires you up has some potential, but the execution and the writing is such a mess that it's hard to know if that's what they're really going for.

Also, this game has the worst example of play I've ever seen. It reads like they recorded, translated, and transcribed a section of the game at the table, but with all the unnecessary chatter and minutia that a group gets into left in. 

IT'S 2.5 SOLID PAGES OF THIS.

So anyway, I'm gonna make a character, and it pains me that this is my Xmas day character, but y'know. Let's head to Chapter Four: Character's Creation [sic].

whee

So, first off I'm meant to choose a real name and a stage name. You know, like the dudes in Marilyn Manson's band all took the names of killers and models or actresses, I guess. Since I don't have a group, I'm making any band-related decisions myself, so let's lean into Glam and say that our band is Bond Girls. That's not to say all of the members are female, but they all play with gender expression and presentation, and take stage names based on (as the name implies) Bond Girls. My character's name is Christmas Jones. (Crappy Bond movie for a crappy game.) His name name is Andrew Barton; his friends used to call him Bart. "Christmas" is an upgrade. 

Now we do "Souls," which are basically just attributes. Metal (physical force), Punk (dexterity), Blues (intellect), and Glam (social shit). Why are they called "Souls," especially when "soul" is also a form of music and this is hella confusing? Good question. Moving on. 

I get 7 points to split up, min 1, max 3. I know I want to be a drummer (since today is nine drummers drumming), so feels like Punk should be higher? Also, there's a stereotype about drummers that they're...well, not bright (I don't know if that's true; I have met a lot of drummers who talk loudly because of low-grade hearing loss, though). But I don't think I want to have 1 in multiple Souls. Let's do 2 in Glam, Metal, and Punk and the remaining 1 in Blues.

Three points in Relationships, which are either Love or Hate, and I have to have at least two. Let's say my character Hates the Christmas Season (1), but Loves his little brother Joey (2). (If I were playing this character, I might like a character arc that lets him change that Hate into Love. Then again, if I were playing this game I might question my life choices.)

Feats! These are...hell, I don't know. They're a little like skills or professions, but Skills are actually a separate thing. Anyway I get five points and I have to split them between at least two, one of which has to be an Artistic Feat to cement my place in the Band. So Tireless Drummer, obviously. I'll stick 2 points there. I'll put two into Fashion Master and one into Solo, boom.

Muses! As I mention, these are addictions, I guess? Inspirations? I get three points, and I can dump all three into one Muse, though the book advises against this. I don't think Christmas is that deep into any particular vice yet, so I'll just do one point in three different Muses. 

Let's take one in Kama Sutra (sex; I mean I'm named after a Bond Girl, sounds appropriate); Malaphar (I think this is about stealing stuff or just having stuff, but OMG the Muse sections are terribly written); and Bacchus (booze). 

And that's actually it. I get 1 in Inspiration, 0 in Experience, and $1000 in my pocket to buy shit, but if you think I'm going shopping for this game you're very much mistaken. 

Christmas Jones typically wears red, green, bells, lights, and sometimes ugly sweaters onstage, but in keeping with the band's genderfluid aesthetic. He keeps his hair short but wears a variety of wigs, and he spends his time in the band van drawing up costume ideas. He's not a fan of the actual Xmas season (corporate greed gussied up with a big dollop of bullshit religion, no thanks) but his little brother Joey loves it and still believes in Santa, and thinks that having a big brother who is not only in a rock band but keeps Christmas alive all year round is just the coolest thing, and Christmas doesn't have the heart to pop his bubble.