Character Creation: KAMB Orange

Say it with me now. ALL HAIL KING TORG!

The Game: Kobolds Ate My Baby! Orange Book
The Publisher: 9th Level Games
Degree of Familiarity: I've played a bit of KAMB, but never this edition
Books Required: Just the one

I picked this game today because it's in a Humble Bundle that only costs $45 (or less, if you don't want all the games involved) and benefits the Children's Miracle Network. I actually did waffle about buying it, not because there aren't good products in it (Wildsea, Slugblaster, and Night's Black Agents just to name three, but also some more traditional fare like Call of Cthulhu 7th Ed, indier stuff like Be Like a Cat, etc. etc.) but because a) it adds a shitload of new games to my list and I was actually making some progress this year and b) it adds a game that I suspect I am going to find upsetting to read (that'd be They Came From Beneath the Sea!, my last published, though uncredited, work, but we'll get to that someday when I feel up to it). 

But at the end of the day, it's just too good a deal to pass up, and I wanted to do a character from a game from the bundle in order to...promote it? Probably not, since I think anyone reading this is likely to already know, but whatever, maybe you tripped on the Internet and landed here, in which case, hi.

ANYWAY. Kobolds Ate My Baby! is a beer-n-pretzels RPG in which you play the titular little buggers. It's been around for a lot of years (I made a character for a previous edition, and it was the 7th character I ever made for this project, and that was back in 2008). If you've ever been at a con and heard a bunch of idiots yelling "ALL HAIL KING TORG!" (ALL HAIL KING TORG!) then you've got a general sense of the vibe. 

Generally, you're all kobolds, you typically get sent out on some stupid mission for your voracious king (ALL HAIL KING TORG!), and you're going to wind up making multiple characters because kobolds make Death Checks frequently.  

I think KAMB might be a younger man's game, as thinking about playing it now just makes me tired, but who knows, with the right libations and environment, it could be fun. I definitely do like this new edition. When I saw it was using the Polymorph System (same system as The Very Good Dogs of Chernobyl and Scurvy Buggers) I was a little concerned because that system usually splits characters up into classes and gives each one a different sort of die to roll, but they hung a lantern on that and the game still just uses d6s. 

So let's make a kobold! I will name my kobold Brap. 

I choose a Role for Brap, which means exactly nothing. Let's pick the Die Six.

I speak 1d6 Human Words. Ooh, rolled a 6! I'm one eloquent little bugger! Let's see...Brap can say soup, bucks, saddle, carnitas, yelp, and liqueur. 

I has a flavor! Rolling a die...Brap is bitter. He gets Advantage on Eat rolls.

Jorb! I could roll a d6 and pick one of the basic ones, but I think I'll roll a d66 and get something more interesting. 1, 6 means either Braumeister or Tourist. Think I'll go with the former. That means I get a beer helmet, meaning I can have two drinks but keep my paws free. Speaking of my paws, in my Wrong Paw I have a bag of bottle caps. And then in my Left Paw, I have (roll d666) a weapon, and it's Dangerous! Specifically (roll d66) it's an Iron Poker!

And that's it. My little Braumeister is probably going to talk someone's ear off about craft beers and wind up as soup for his trouble, which is just as well. 

Character Creation: ALL HAIL KING TORG!

The Game: Kobolds Ate My Baby!
The publisher: Dork Storm Press
Degree of familiarity: Some, but honestly it doesn't take much. Played it at MarCon a couple of years back, and it's goddamn awesome.
Books required: Just the KAMB book. 

The lengthy bit of this is going to be typing it out and scanning in the sheet. Making a character for this game goes faster than braised kobold through King Torg (ALL HAIL KING TORG!).

OK, so first step: I roll 2d6 four times, once each for my four stats (Brawn, Ego, Extraneous, Reflexes - see that? BEER!). Using this handy-dandy dice roller, since my actual dice are downstairs, I get:

Brawn: 6
Ego: 5
Extraneous: 9
Reflexes: 12 (damn, I'm a fast little fucker. AGAIN).

Now for Hits and the other four stats:

Hits = Brawn = 6.
Meat = 2.
Cunning = 2.
Luck = 3.
Agility = 3.

Now, Skills. I get up to six skills, but since I can't have more Skills than my Ego, I only get five. Boo.

I have to choose at least one from each category, and I have to choose Cook, so this will be quick. I pick Swim, Shoot, Bard (allowing me to sing in Kobold, which is fun) and Wiggle (also fun).

Edges and Bogies: I automatically get Bark like a Kobold, Kobold Senses, Fearless and Taste like Chicken. A roll on the random Edge chart gives me Extra Padding (meaning I get an extra 1d6 hits...let's check...5!). A roll on the random Bogie chart gives me Angry Friends. Ha! No Bogies! I'll...probably die just as quickly, but at least I don't have to hump anyone's leg.

And, finally, Gear. I get three rolls, one for armor, one for a weapon, one for random shit. I get:

A Leather Jacket (I get jack shit, but for looking cool)
A Cooking Utensil (I get a bonus die to Cook rolls)
Adventurer's Castoffs (this last requires another roll, meaning I get an Iron Ration)

And that's it! I name my little kobold Taem, and send him out to serve the king (ALL HAIL KING TORG!)