After missing a month because norovirus happened (ew), we are back in the fantastical land of Pugmire where there's a king, but he isn't a complete evil bastard and is in fact a dog. Things are better there is what I'm saying. Here's last time.
The Pioneers have returned home to Pugmire after more than a year away. A few things are different - there are a couple new mendicant acolytes working and serving in the kitchens in Riverwall. Granny Sue Weimaraner has opened a second tavern in the northern end of Riverwall, nearer the city center. Recreational "treats" are now legal in Pugmire, and stalls and vendors dispensing said treats are all over the place, some of them kind of shady. There's talk of building a bridge over the river, and someone - a former associate of the now-deceased crime boss Luigi Husky - is trying to raise plastic to get it going. And the site of the characters' former storehouse, the one that burned down back here, has been purchased by parties unknown. Whoever it is intends to build something fancy there, perhaps in an attempt to gentrify Riverwall.
In any case, the Pioneers have decided to head back to the village of Ellendonk, the hometown of Petunia Pibble. If you've got a really good memory, you might recall that they were there once before, following a request by Heinrich Doberman. Turns out Doberman was a slaver and cat trafficker and just all around bastard who tried to have the Pioneers killed, and that he'd already arranged to empty out Ellendonk as cover for his slave-staffed iron mine. King Puckington Pug has, in the two years since then, stationed a garrison of guard dogs at the mine to make sure that the miners are, like, employees. Ellendonk has been repopulated (some previous inhabitants have come back, some are miners and their families). Heinrich is still a power player in Pugmire, but his influence and reputation have been greatly reduced and his "Cat Conservation Society" has basically fallen apart.
The Pioneers have breakfast with their trustee, Bivi Affenpinscher, and he relates all this and helps them get ready for the journey (it's about a week's walk to Ellendonk). Boomer Pitbull and Petunia both grab a thunder egg from the Pioneer Hall. Dire Newfoundland, realizing that his Gloves of Missile Catching don't really do him much good since he uses a shield, goes to Scooter Frenchie's Magic Emporium to see if he can trade them in.
Scooter offers him a few different options as trade in - a mechanical bee that buzzes around and distracts a foe, perhaps? Dire asks if he has a shield, perhaps, and Scooter shows him a round shield with a big eye in the center. Hang it up when you're sleeping, says Scooter, and it'll watch over you and wake you if anyone intrudes. "How does it sound an alarm?" asks Dire. "I'm...actually not sure," admits Scooter. Dire accepts the trade, though - it's a good shield, in any case.
The dogs get on the road and travel for a day without incident. Dire hangs up the shield as they camp and the eye opens and looks around, but doesn't seem to respond to the dogs' talking to it ("Blink once if you understand us," says Gelert Sausagedog, but the eye does not). Nothing intrudes that night, though, and in the morning the Pioneers move on.
They take a different route to Ellendonk than they did last time, wishing to see more of the countryside. As such, they come to an area they've never seen, a meadow bordered on one side by forest and on the other by a hillock with a cave - but the cave is blocked by a boulder. The dogs find this odd, since there's no rock formation this boulder would have rolled from, implying that it was placed there deliberately. Sausagedog knocks on it and it clangs - it's a big metal sphere.
Dire initially advises leaving it be; if the cave was blocked off deliberately there's probably a reason for that. Petunia sniffs magic inside, and they decide just to take a quick peak. She casts a Slick spell on the thing to get it moving more easily and Boomer and Dire heave it out of the way...but then a high-pitched whine starts up. Petunia notices first and gives the dogs time to back up, before the sphere starts vibrating. All of the dirt and moss fall off, revealing a shiny, chrome exterior, and then a huge red eye opens on the front and metallic tentacles unfold from the sphere.
Peppa Papillon quickly summons up a Spiritual Weapon and Blesses her warrior compatriots, which is good - the tentacles wave about and fire bolts of energy! One of them catches Petunia and blasts her against a tree. One strikes Dire and covers his floof in an icy layer of rime, but he gets his shield up in time to avoid the worst of it. One hits Boomer and lights him on fire ("AGAIN?").
Sausagedog remembers that he's read about this thing - it's a weapon left over from the War of Cats and Dogs, called an Auva (though he doesn't remember which side used them - maybe both?). They were rolled into the midst of enemy soldiers and let loose to destroy. That's enough for Dire and Boomer. Boomer flies into a rage and both dogs wail on the thing with blunt instruments, denting it and sending up red sparks. And then Petunia stands up, dusts herself off, and throws a swarm of Seeking Stingers at it. It starts to vibrate and Dire and Boomer jump clear as it explodes.
The dogs emerge and Dire, ever practical about these things, gathers up as much of the armor plating as he can and puts it in his sack of holding. Sausagedog and Petunia investigate the cave, and find something covered in a cloth. Sausagedog uncovers it (with Peppa covering them, just in case there are demons about), and finds that it's a mirror with a decorative wooden frame. A small piece of parchment rolled up and stuck in the frame reads: "BEWARE: ONCE YOU'VE LOOKED, YOU KNOW."
The dogs realize that the mirror isn't reflecting them as they stand together, and Sausagedog realizes he's read about this thing (in the same history book that talked about the Auva, actually). The Death Mirror, as it's called, shows the death of any person who looks into it while alone. It was created during the War as a way to strategize. The dogs cover it back up and tie the cover on, and Dire advises either smashing it now or putting it in storage forever. But Boomer notes that such a relic is exactly the kind of thing that advances a family's prospects as nobility...
They put the mirror in Dire's sack of holding, and take a little breather before heading on.
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