Pugmire: The Evil Dog Triumvirate

Today we played some Pugmire! Here's last time, on we go.

Our heroes have a plan! They meet back up at the temple, where they find Peppa Papillon ("what happened here?!") and explain what they've learned. Hobbes von Shadow goes to visit his friend in the cut church in Riverwall, taking Peppa with him.

They meet up with Hobbes' friend, a minister named Pudding Cup von Mau. Hobbes explains the situation and asks if she knows a very powerful and experience minister. She does - Starlight von Korat.

Starlight comes to meet with them, and Peppa and Hobbes explain their enmity with the Nagayaga and their plan to cleanse some dreams. Starlight agrees to help, and the dogs regroup. 

They send messages to their old friend Boomer Pitbull, and prepare to get moving. Ruby Labrador, the Inquisitor that has a snake in her dreams, says that she can bring some of her Inquisitors with her, and of course Princess Yosha Pug can bring royal guards along. 

A week or so later, they meet up at a keep halfway between Pugmire and Houndton. Boomer and some of his biggest relatives meet them there, and Pioneers reunite. Boomer is more dressed than usual (Petunia Pibble says it suits him; Boomer's not a fan), and they explain that they need Boomer to help with repelling etherkesh and any other minions the Nagayaga might have.

The nine of them - Hobbes, Peppa, Petunia, Gelert Sausagedog, Dire Newfoundland, Ruby, Yosha, Marshmallow von Mau, and Bivi Affenpinscher - enter the keep, and discover that Not Even the mouse is already there. He asked whose dreams they going into first, and they decide on Ruby, figuring that Ruby is combat-capable and that Boomer and the guards might need help. Starlight casts the spell, and the dogs can hear each other's thoughts. Peppa is thinking of mud. Petunia wondering if she wants more crackers, or if she's had enough. Dire's thoughts are fleeting mingled with white noise. 

Not Even tells them to get comfortable, and that their sleeping draught should kick in momentarily ("Wait, wha-" snore). 

The dogs awaken in what looks like a church of Man...but defiled. The holy texts are ripped apart and scattered on the floor, the statues and reliquaries smashed. Ruby is chained to the ceiling and looks dazed or drugged, and three dogs sit in judgement in front of the Pioneers.

The first is a yellow-furred dog with kindly eyes and an easy demeanor. A nameplate in front of him says "Yeller Blackmouth."

The second is a huge dog with drool dripping from his mouth and slashes on his face. Blood trickles out, but then becomes red smoke and vanishes, screaming. His nameplate reads "Cujo Bernard."

The last is a short, squat dog with a flat face and white fur, but even he coughs or sneezes, he expels a cloud of flies. His nameplate says, "Beefy Bulldog." 

"The next question is for you, Peppa Papillon," sneers Beefy. "All the mud - what's up with that?"

"The mud helps to bring us closer to Man, healing us in body and soul-"

"No, sorry wrong!" The dogs all stagger as their brains sizzle. The Pioneers look at each other - what's happening here? Cujo snarls, but doesn't speak. Beefy aims his next question at Petunia.

"Petunia Pibble, some time you and your Pioneers faced a creature while you were in the Monarchies of Mau. What spells did you cast to defeat it?"

"We could help you," she says, as he spits out a bunch of flies. 

"Nope, wrong!" BUZZ. 

"Easy, Beefy," says Yeller. "Dazolm Newfoundland, this one's for you. Some years back you stole a piece of plastic from a blind dog who was panhandling. Why didn't you steal his cup, too?"

"It didn't occur to me at the time," mutters Dire. 

Yeller looks at his compatriots. "What do we think? No? Sorry, that's wrong." BUZZ. 

The Pioneers have had enough of this, and they realize, too, that if it keeps up they'll eventually succumb to this assault. Petunia kicks things off. She arcane lassos Sausagedog up to the ceiling. He grabs the chains binding Ruby and sees that they're locked with three padlocks. He gets to work picking locks. 

Cujo leaps over the table and snaps at Dire, and Yeller likewise approaches the group, whispering to Peppa. She feels her ears start to bleed at the madness in Yeller's incomprehensible words, but shakes it off and casts a healing spell for her allies. Hobbes strikes at Cujo, and lands a solid punch to the dog's head, but feels the same punch catch him in the back of the head!

Beefy flops over the table and a long, barbed tongue flicks out and strikes Hobbes, sucking the moisture from his body. Dire calls up a shield of faith and pulls a mace, swinging on Cujo. Petunia does one better, lowering her head and beginning a rebarbative growl. Cujo snaps and snarls in fear!

But Yeller isn't so easily cowed. He leaps to the ceiling and whispers to Sausagedog, worming dark magic into his brain. Peppa calls up her spirit guardians and they snap at the demons, but also at her! Hobbes strikes again at Beefy, but misses, and Beefy flicks his tongue at Petunia. Dire bonks Cujo with his mace, and Cujo snaps again, but misses. 

Sausagedog manages to open the last lock, and Ruby plummets to the floor and lands on Dire. He picks her off his head and lays her down in front of Peppa ("You got this?"), and goes back to the fight. The spirit-Yorkies continue to bite and snap, and one more punch from Hobbes drops Cujo! Petunia launches a flight of seeking stingers at Beefy, and Peppa glances up and throws a guiding bolt at Yeller. She blows a hole in his chest, and he drops to the ground, wheezing "ol' Yeller...come back Yeller...best doggone dog in..." before dying. 

The fight over, Peppa casts a healing spell to get everyone back on their feet, and they look around. There are three doors out of this room. Two are wooden, but one of those has an ivory handle in the shape of a dog's muzzle, open and with a tongue lolling out. One word - "SUBMIT" - is carved above it. The other wooden door has a bulldog's face worked into the grain, but no words. The middle door is made of iron, but a mass of long, iron strips.

Sausagedog thinks about what he's read about these demons, and remembers reading that they were named for three evil dogs that betrayed humanity. Ruby says that she actually helped kill the real Beefy Bulldog, and she never met the other two but has talked with the Inquisitors that did. Meanwhile, Peppa tries to get a read on the doors, and can't quite get her brain to align right, but figures that it's possible to suss out the dream-logic that governs here. 

Petunia investigates the doors, starting with the one with the face, and prods at it. The face animates and laughs, loudly, and Dire walks over and whacks it with her mace ("SHUT UP"). It works - the face stops laughing and pouts, and the door opens. Inside is an immense egg. Petunia focuses and realizes that this thing is the manifestation of the Nagayaga in this dream. Dire draws a greatsword and chops it in half, and the scene fades away...

The dogs wake up, and Not Even congratulates them. Ruby stands and stretches, feeling much better and without the paranoia she was feeling. She dons her armor and goes out to help the others, while the Pioneers prepare to enter the dream of Princess Yosha Pug!

Pugmire: Clanky Noodles

Yesterday we played some Pugmire! 

Recall that last time, our pupper (and one cat) protagonists were investigating the sudden changes in personality of five other folks. They'd stashed most of them in a Temple to Man: their Pioneer Guild supervisor, Bivi Affenpinscher; Inquisitor Ruby Labrador; cat diplomat Marshmallow von Mau; and the goddamn Princess of Pugmire Yosha Pug. But they still weren't sure what was causing the problem.

Peppa Papillion was working on creating a Hallow at the Pioneer's Guild (I know we said she was doing that last time, but her player got stuck fighting the Wombat Men of Venus or something and couldn't make it), so the other four reconvened to talk about this. Gelert Sausagedog might seem like a truly rough-and-tumble sort of rogue, but he's remarkably well-read, and notes that this isn't really possession per se. Possession wouldn't survive being in a Hallowed space, not without some dramatic responses. No, this is more like an infection of a mental sort...and the Nagayaga does like to communicate via dreams, doesn't it?

Petunia Pibble goes off to hit the books and see if she can learn a little more, while Sausagedog suggests they drop in on a friend of his who services the Doberman estate. They find him at a seedy little bar in Riverwall called the Blushing Blossom, and talk with him over a couple of pints. Viveka Doberman has been really contented of late, and he notes that she's been sleeping a lot, too, but then wakes and acts happy and rested. 

Petunia, meanwhile, learns that communication via dreams, and indeed direct mental communication, isn't something that's common in cat or dog magic. However, rodents are rumored to have a much more reliable grasp of this so-called "psychic" art. And as it turns out, Petunia knows a rat named Schelemeus who works down by the docks! She goes to the Blossom and grabs the others, and they head to the docks - still a seedy bit of Pugmire - to find him.

Other than a couple of dogs recognizing Dire Newfoundland and trying to pick a fight (Dire remains the bigger dog, literally, and advises these two to let Man into their hearts; Petunia says she wishes Peppa could have seen that), they don't have any real problems. They find Schelly and Petunia asks him whether he knows anyone who could help with this problem, and he says that he does know a guy, he's a little sketchy, but he's real good at this "pyschic" stuff. He says he'll send the dogs a message at Granny Sue's, and they head off to get some rest, figuring they'll hit up Granny Sue's tomorrow.

And indeed, tomorrow, they first decide to stop by the temple and visit the folks who are hiding out. They find Bivi in the main body of the temple, sitting in a pew. They ask after him, and he says he's doing all right, but had a bad dream. Hobbes von Shadow asks about it the dream - having read the works of Sigmund Fuzz, he's got some training in interpreting dreams - and Bivi says that in his dream he was in a long corridor, trying to get to the end, but as he walked he felt something slowing him and he was powerless to stop it. The dogs talk with Ruby and find that she had similarly frustrating dreams, and find Yosha still asleep. They wake her ("YIP!") and she says that, she, too, had dreams in which she was trying to get somewhere but couldn't (I do not remember the specifics I gave as her dream). 

The Pioneers give the folks breakfast pies from Granny Sue's, and ask about Marshmallow. Brother Darius German says that he went out for a walk a little while ago, and the Pioneers get a sinking feeling that these dreams might have been bait to lure these folks out of the shelter of the Hallow. They head out into the streets, and Sausagedog hears a clanking sound. Looking over into an alley, he sees a metal cable disappearing around a corner. 

He races over and sees a mass of writing, metal tendrils wrapped around a struggle figure. The figure reaches out with a white paw and from within, Sausagedog hears "HELP ME!" He chops at the thing with his hand ax and Petunia unleashes a barrage of Seeking Stingers at it...but Dire notices three more of these tendril-masses climbing over roofs and heading for the temple. He remembers well that these things are called "etherkesh," and they are servants of the Nagayaga.

Dire runs past them and blocks the door to the temple. Hobbes takes off his glasses, doffs his cardigan, and punches one of them hard enough to dent steel! Two of them charge at Dire, but one just climbs up onto the roof. Hobbes wiggles his butt and leaps into the air, landing on the roof, and squares off against the thing.

One of the others slips past Dire into the Temple, but he figures between Yosha and Ruby they can probably handle one. He clonks the one in front of him with his hammer, and it whips him with its tentacles. The one holding on to Marshmallow falls to Petunia's magic, and disgorges Marshmallow ("ow"). He's a bit scorched, but seems mostly unharmed, so Petunia and Sausagedog run to help the others. 

Hobbes pummels the one on the roof into limp metal noodles, and then lands next to the one fighting Dire. He, Hobbes, and Sausagedog finish it off fairly quickly, and pull Marshmallow back inside. The last etherkesh has already dead; Ruby stands over it with a mace and Yosha is nearby brandishing her arcane focus (Bivi is hiding under a pew). 

Ruby goes to work healing Marshmallow and he admits that he took a walk to clear his head. He was having dreams, you see...

The Pioneers take a little rest, and then head to Granny Sue's to await word from this mysterious mouse. They aren't there long when a messenger shows up and hands them a scroll. It contains a set of directions, but they pretty much need to be followed to make any sense. The Pioneers get their stuff together and head out!

The directions take them to a cheese shop, but when they go in, there's no cheese in evidence. A mouse behind the counter asks what they're looking for, and Petunia shows him the scroll. He sighs and hands her a wrapped package containing a lovely bit of cheese and a note. It says "Enjoy the cheese, then come into the building across the street."

They all take a bit of the cheese (and it's very good), and then go across the street. There's a sign on the door that just says "NO," but they figure they're allowed, so they enter. A mouse sits behind a table covered in weird sigils and implements, dice, a dagger stuck into it, and suchlike. He immediately hands them each a vial and tells them to drink it. ("What's this?" "The antidote." "For?" "The cheese.")

They drink the vials, and the mouse, who says his name is "Not" ("with a K?" "I don't know, I can't heard the K") listens to their problem. He says that the Nagayaga is a creature of dreams, and has left eggs in the dreams of these people. If the eggs hatch, there are snakes, and then the snakes feed on each other until only one, the Nagayaga, is left. If they are to kill the Nagayaga for good, they must enter the dreams, smash the eggs, kill the snakes, give the Nagayaga nowhere to hide.

How to do that? Not says that he can help someone enter dreams, but doing it to multiple people at once is beyond his skill...unless those people were linked mentally. He knows that a cat minister, a very powerful one, could do that, but he doesn't know anyone in Pugmire like that. Hobbes says he might, however, or at least someone he could ask. 

Not says that they don't necessarily need to be in close proximity to the dreamer (dreams, after all, don't take place in physical space), but he'd need something intimate belonging to said dreamer or to know them well, and of course you'd need to make sure they stay asleep. Getting four of the dreamers to cooperate won't be hard, but what about Viveka? And what about keeping the physical bodies safe while they're dreaming? 

In the end, the Pioneers decide that maybe they could have Boomer meet them halfway from Houndton, and have him and his family guard them while they go dream-exploring. If they take care of Ruby, Bivi, Marshmallow, and Yosha, the last dreams they'll need to cleanse will be Viveka, and they can deal with that when they get to it. 

Not hands Petunia a card of plastic with a shiny metallic square on it, and a metal box with a slot. Insert the card into the slot when they're ready, he says, and he'll know and scamper to find them, but don't waste it, because it only works once. They'll need it to get his attention, he says, because when he doesn't want to be found, no one can find him, not a dog, a cat, a snake, a bird...Not Even a mouse. (Petunia keeps the card, but hands the reader to Dire to put in his bag of holding, just to be on the safe side.)

The dogs' vision blurs and they heard a buzzy sound, and when it clears, Not has gone. The Pioneers head back out to find Peppa and start preparing their dream-jaunts.

Pugmire: Curse of the Cat

Here we are once again in the fanciful land of Pugmire. It's been several months since we last saw our pawed protagonists. 

Peppa Papillon has been doing what she usually does, ministering to the unfortunate, feeding the poor, rolling in mud, often some combination thereof. She's heard whispers that the Inquisition - the more spiritual branch of law enforcement in Pugmire - has been investigating petty theft a lot lately, which is weird.

Dire Newfoundland has been doing some of that, but also going out on the street and stopping crime (he's also finally managed to have the auva shell he obtained a long time ago made into armor). 

Gelert Sausagedog has also been out on the streets, juggling, entertaining, making sure people have heard of him, but also keeping an eye to the ground. He's heard of some new sect or cult, mostly among the rodents, called the Riders of the Collective. They believe in connectedness between the species, which sounds harmless enough on its face.

Petunia Pibble has been chronicling their exploits in the Pioneers' Guild records. As she's mostly been hanging with the more well-to-do, she hears that Princess Yosha Pug (whom the characters befriend waaaay back in our pilot episode) is ill and hasn't left her rooms in weeks. 

Petunia can't ignore such a thing - she calls the other together and says that they need to go and see Yosha, today! They gather up their stuff and head to the palace, and Petunia talks her way past the guards (it's not hard; the Pioneers are kinda famous) and they head up to the princess' rooms.

Petunia knocks and Yosha answers, and right away the Pioneers can see there's trouble. Yosha's room is in disarray - books and scrolls lie scattered around, hundreds of little bits of paper with notes scribbled on them, and a big section of cloth on the wall with sketches and pictures all connected with bits of string. Yosha looks more bug-eyed than usual (which for a pug is no mean trick), and lets them in. She tells them that something out there is following her, and she sees it in the shadows. In here she feels safe.

The Pioneers consider this, and Dire and Peppa immediately note that her rooms are Hallowed (which only makes sense, of course you'd Hallow the princess' room). Peppa sniffs for poison and finds nothing, and then sniffs for evil and, again, doesn't smell anything. She goes outside the room and walks around a bit, and then has the others bring the princess outside...and then gets a tiny, fleeting whiff of something, something deep inside Yosha rather than on her. If Yosha were a tunnel, this would be at the far end.

They talk with Yosha and kind of ease her back into reality a little, and convince her to come out with them to Granny Sue's - she says she'd like some cider. Maybe outside the palace, they can figure out what's going on. 

Meanwhile, over in Riverwall, Hobbes von Shadow, cat therapist, hangs out his shingle. His most important client, of course, is probably Boomer Pitbull, but Boomer is down in his estate far south of Pugmire, and Hobbes has to pay the bills here. His bell jingles and a white cat enters. "Hello?"

Hobbes welcomes him, and the cat introduces himself as Marshmallow von Mau, and asks if they can talk. Hobbes says that he doesn't normally take walk-ins, but he's got a moment, so Marshmallow sits and explains his problem - he's seeing things. Nothing specific, nothing he can identify, but things in the shadows that jump out of his vision if he peers at them. Hobbes asks a bit about his background and lifestyle, and Marshmallow says he moved to Pugmire a few months ago. Back in Mau City, he had a kind of government functionary sort of job, and here he's been made a liaison or diplomat for the Monarchies. Of late, his job has been to sit on a panel to determine sentencing for convicted criminals, when representation from the Monarchies is necessary. 

Hobbes asks if there are other people in Marshmallow's family that he could meet, to try and get a sense of whether there's anything actually in the shadows, probably. Marshmallow says he's living with a cousin, but they can meet later at Granny Sue's Roadside Tavern. Hobbes agrees (but does note the surcharge for a house call). 

That night, the Pioneers, Yosha, Hobbes, and Marshmallow all wind up at Granny Sue's. The Pioneers recognize Hobbes (again, he's Boomer's therapist and Boomer talks about him a lot). Hobbes is a tuxedo cat, dressed simply and not obviously armed or in fighting trim, but Dire can tell from the way he carries himself that he's capable of throwing down. 

The group of them wind up all talking together, and they learn something interesting - Marshmallow and Yosha know each other, because Yosha is on the sentencing panels, too. In fact, a few weeks ago they were on the same panel, that of one Amelia S. Fold, the cat criminal, demon-consorter, and terrorist brought up from Houndton. They were determining whether to send her to the Monarchies to be tried for her crimes there or for her to be imprisoned here in Pugmire (they decided to keep her here, because transporting her overland was deemed too risky). 

Peppa asks who else was on the panel. Marshmallow says it was himself, Princess Yosha, Ruby Labrador of the Inquisition, Viveka Doberman (a round of "ugh" from the Pioneers), and Bivi Affenpinscher of the Pioneer's Guild. Peppa notes that she's heard that the Inquisition is acting weird, and all of the Pioneers realize they haven't actually seen much of Bivi lately. They decide they need to look into this more closely, but send Yosha and Marshmallow to the Temple of Man here in Riverwall - that's Hallowed, and being in a Hallowed space made Yosha feel better.

They head for the Pioneer Storehouse and find Bivi asleep with a book on his face. They wake him up ("ACH - oh, it's you") and ask whether he's been seeing things in the shadows. Bivi admits that he has, but he thought he was just getting old and his mind was starting to go ("Well," says Sausagedog, "there's good news and bad news..."). The dogs suspect, of course, that their old foe the Nagayaga is responsible somehow, but aren't sure exactly what's going on. They send Bivi to the Temple, and decide to drop in on Ruby Labrador.

When they get to the Inquisition HQ, they see a couple of guards frog-marching their old friend Kadjit Brikovy into jail. When asked, the guards say that he was stealing ("KADJIT IS INNOCENT OF-" "hush, you"). The Pioneers argue, saying that he's not a thief, and one of the guards leans in and asks whether Peppa would be willing to swear that Kadjit is honest as a representative of the Church. She is, and they let him go. "Good enough for me," mutters the guard.

The guards tell the Pioneers where they can find Ruby, and say that of late, she's become obsessed with theft and has been micromanaging the investigations. Even now, she's with a contingent of guards rousting the Nippers (the Nippers are a street gang of small dogs; the characters have crossed paths with them before). The Pioneers rush out to Riverwall and find Ruby pacing up and down the street behind a group of guards, pointing crossbows at a house. The windows are boarded up, but every so often a tufted ear is visible - probably that of Clyger Fox, the leader of the Nippers.

The characters manage to get Ruby talking, and realize that she's become obsessive about theft ("people taking things that don't belong to them is a Sin Against Man and-"). This is clearly not the Ruby Labrador that the Pioneers know and worked with before. Peppa can't just Hallow the area, it takes too long, so they do the next best thing - Petunia casts private kennel. The spell calms the area and makes it cozy and safe, and Ruby mellows out enough to know that she's being weird. The Nippers agree to spend some time doing community service with Dire, and the Pioneers coax Ruby back to the Temple (which means that now Marshmallow, Yosha, Bivi, and Ruby are there, so they have enough to play hearts). 

The group of them discuss all this, and decide that they need to talk with Viveka. Bivi notes that he's heard Viveka and Heinrich are on the verge of divorce; supposedly Viveka has taken a lover and has been just mooning about looking dreamy lately. That's a far cry from the paranoia and obsession the others who were on Amelia's panel have displayed. They get some rest, and Yosha pens a note to Viveka so that she'll allow the characters in to see her. 

The next day, the Pioneers meet up with Viveka. And, indeed, she looks...content. Peppa sniffs for evil, and in addition to the just general evil that Viveka gives off (she is, after all, an unrepentant bigot), there's something deeper, something inside her. It's more steady and easier to sniff than whatever is in the others, but not any stronger. Very curious.

Viveka denies that she and Heinrich are having troubles or that she has a paramour, and Hobbes, an excellent judge of character, feels she's telling the truth. But when Petunia asks whether her overall demeanor has changed, Viveka denies is, but Hobbes notes that he guards kind of give each other a look and quietly scoff. Viveka isn't interested in talking further and certainly isn't going to come to a Temple with them, but she doesn't seem to be affected the same way anyway...though she's certainly affected.

The characters decide they'd been talk to Amelia. Petunia, Sausagedog, and Hobbes go, while Dire spends a few days dealing with the Nippers and Peppa casts Hallow on the Pioneer Storehouse, just to make a safe space for them all. Amelia is being kept in a special prisoner a little ways out of Pugmire, so it's an all-day trip.

When they arrive, a large dog named Barney Newfoundland meets them. He checks their weapons and armor, and tells them that they must not use any magic inside the prison, nor can they accept anything from Amelia or pass her anything. She's at the end of the hall, cells are on the left. "You keep to the right."

They walk past a row of cells - a big dog sitting in the dark brooding, a dog pressed up against the bars, grinning ("HI"), a nimble cat crawling the walls and hissing at them ("I CAN SMELL YOUR CATNIP"). And then, at the end of the hall, Amelia S. Fold.

She's not particularly happy to see them, but is willing to talk (not like she has much else to do). They ask about her consorting with demons, and she says that she was never exactly happy about that - it was always a means to an end, and that end was killing Boomer Pitbull. She failed at that (though she did get to see him beheaded, even if Peppa then fixed it, which hardly seems fair), but she does say that when she was sentenced and led away in chains, she felt better - lighter, like something had been lifted from her soul. 

She doesn't know what's happening with the folks on her panel and she denies laying any kind of curse on them (she did spit and curse at them, but in a much more mundane sort of way). The Pioneers leave the prison and head back to Pugmire, still unsure of the nature of what's happening...

Pugmire: The Death of Boomer (Sorta)

Last time, our intrepid Pioneers kicked in a door and found themselves confronted by three deadly foes - Amelia Fold, Max Pitbull wearing the body of Boomer Pitbull, and the goddamn Nagayaga! As they brace themselves for a deadly fight, suddenly time slows, and they hear a cough from above them.

They look up, and see a pair of golden eyes in the darkness. The eyes get closer and they can see a snoot as well. It looks like a gigantic dog's head is looming over them. Specifically it looks like the head of a Transylvania-Hound. 

The strange being says that it was the one that asked them to CLEANSE THIS PLACE when they first got to the castle. It says that it can't help them as much as it would like to, due to "that cat-snake thing," but it can do something, whereupon it leans down and licks them all. They all feel revived and refreshed, and then time restarts, and the battle is joined!

Dire Newfoundland gestures at Peppa Papillon and encases her in a sanctuary, protected from harm and attacks. He then points at "Boomer" and calls upon the magic of Man, yelling "GET DOWN!" Boomer flops onto the ground, growling but unable to resist the command.

Boomer - the real Boomer (OK, from here on out, the real Boomer is "Boomer" and the fake one is "Max", though last night we took to calling them "Boomer Max" and "Boomer Prime"; sadly there was no "Boomer Plus") rages, draws the longsword he's carrying, and charges over to Max, stabbing him in fury. Petunia Pibble calls upon magic and increases gravity in the area, crushing Max to the ground and further immobilizing him (and the Nagayaga, just due to proximity). 

Amelia Fold appears from the shadows and hurls fire at the Pioneers, scorching them a bit, but Gelert Sausagedog runs over and hurls a dagger at her - and then, thinking quickly, throws his bag of Pawprint Powder at her, seeking to keep her from disappearing into the shadows again. The Nagayaga stares deeply at Dire, trying to instill fear, but since Peppa cast a protective spell just before the battle began, the attempt fails!

Boomer continues whaling on Max with his sword, and Peppa calls up her spirit Yorkies (since the spell doesn't target anyone it doesn't interfere with the sanctuary) and steps forward, letting them chew up Max and the Nagayaga. Amelia casts another spell, this one dousing the Pioneers in ice. Petunia slips and winds up on her tail, and her gravity spell slips, allowing the Nagayaga to act - but with Dire in its face, all it can do is claw at him ineffectively. Dire lashes out with his warhammer, striking the cat-snake soundly, while Sausagedog closes with Amelia and slices her up. 

Max, now free of the gravity spell, pushes himself to his feet, trying to rage, calling upon the immense strength of this stolen body...but Boomer doesn't let it get that far. He whirls the longsword around...and decapitates his own body. Max' - Boomer's - head goes bouncing away, and Boomer, still raging, scoops up his maul and goes after the Nagayaga. He doesn't register what the death of his body means. If his body is dead, they can't use the Inversion Wheel to reverse this!

Of course, Peppa can raise the dead, so long as no more than a minute passes. The Nagayaga seems to realizes this, too, and slithers past the dogs to grab the head. But Dire figures out this strategy and grabs the snake's tail, and yanks it back, away from the head! Amelia snarls and throws a thought storm, paralyzing everyone except Peppa (including the Nagayaga), and then runs over and stabs Boomer with her hooked swords. The paralysis doesn't last, though, and soon she's facing off against several very angry dogs. Dire crushes the Nagayaga's skull with his warhammer, and Amelia realizes the danger she's in. She calls up a wall of stone that pushes them back (but traps her on the same side of the wall as Sausagedog).

Meanwhile, Petunia arcane lassos the head ("ew") and runs back to the body and holds it in place, and Peppa runs over and casts revivify.

Boomer's body lives again! But now Max is back in control. He rages and pushes himself to his feet, grabbing his longsword off the ground. He hacks at Boomer, for all the good it does. Dire runs over and punches him in the snoot, knocking him out again. Petunia lassos Boomer over the wall to get at Amelia, but Amelia unleashes a barrage of seeking stingers and Boomer falls, dying. Sausagedog strikes at Amelia, and she looses a second round, dropping Sausagedog as well! As she steps up to finish Boomer off, Petunia pops around the wall and casts beast mode, turning Amelia fold into a harmless, non-uplifted cat. 

Dire grabs it and wraps it in a cloak, and everyone takes a breath. Petunia takes a moment to figure out how to work the wheel, and then they strap Boomer and Max in and yank the lever! 

Boomer feels his mind and soul yanked from his body and pinned up against the wheel, until his body spins around to it and snaps into place. They unstrap him and he clears his throat - he's got a nasty scar around his neck from where he cut off his own head. Max, for his part, is back in his old body and still strapped to the wheel, unable to muster the strength to move. And Amelia is still wrapped in robes, yowling and spitting.

The spirit of the castle appears, and asks that they take the Inversion Wheel away ("it's sectional, you can break it into four pieces"). Dire is in favor of smashing it, but Peppa reminds him that as Pioneers, they're meant to preserve these kinds of things, so they can get help to return it to Pugmire. The castle-spirit informs them that although they've killed the Nagayaga's body, even now it gestates within the dreams of an unfortunate victim, and will be reborn if they don't stop it. The spirit has no idea who this person might, though. 

The Pioneers go back down to Houndton and turn both Amelia Fold and Max Pitbull in to the authorities (Dire notes that they could just huck them off a cliff, but Petunia and Peppa both point out that there's a difference between killing someone in battle and just straight-up murdering them; Dire might not entirely agree, but he's committed to being a Good Dog). Amelia is convicted of multiple crimes, including consorting with the Unseen, and is likely to be sent to Pugmire and/or the Monarchies to face further justice. Max...well, here it's not so simple. He's obviously done some awful things, but he's also the head of House Pitbull, and that grants him some juice. Without an heir apparent, he might go free.

Boomer, though, feels that he's died enough and that maybe his place should be here, undoing the damage that Max has done to his family name. He takes over the Pitbull Manor and, with his influence, Max remains in jail. Boomer thanks his friends for the grand adventures they've shared, but retires from the Pioneers. He also renames "Maxville" to "Snacksville." 

A few months later, a younger Pitbull approaches Boomer with a book and shows him that Max kept records of all of his progeny, even the ones he said didn't have the "eye of the warrior." Max Pitbull was Boomer's biological father! "But then who's my mother?" he asks.

The book does have that information. Her name was Rhea Staffordshire. She fled with Boomer after Max declared him unfit to survive, and there's no record of what happened to her, although the records do show that Max sent a hunting party after her. Boomer nods sadly. 

The Pioneers return to Pugmire with the Inversion Wheel, and get ready to begin their next adventure together - to find and truly destroy the Nagayaga! 

Pugmire: Guards, Guards, Guards, and Worms

Once again, we return to the abandoned, though by no means empty, Castle Transylvanian-Hound. 

Our noble Pioneers have awakened in their Private Kennel, courtesy of Petunia Pibble, to discover that their compatriot Boomer Pitbull has somehow been transplanted into the body of his...unspecified relative, Max Pitbull. Boomer is achey and uncomfortable; Peppa Papillon recommends rolling in the mud a bit to ease the joints. 

Petunia wonders if she can dispel this magic, but isn't sure what it would do - if Boomer gets ejected from this body, where does he go? Boomer says he's game to try it, and Petunia casts the spell. Boomer immediately feels like something is being slowly and painfully ripped from his body. Petunia continues the magic and Boomer grits his teeth, but then his snoot starts bleeding and Petunia stops. 

What could do this? Petunia knows of no spell common to Artisan or Shepherd that could, but has heard this kind of thing is more the purview of the rodent Cult of Labo Tor. But then Gelert Sausagedog recalls reading stories from the War of Cats and Dogs of a device called the "Inversion Wheel." Strap people in, spin the wheel, and they randomly redistribute minds and souls. So if you strapped just two people in, they'd switch. And Max Pitbull is a veteran of said war...

The dogs consider their next move. Maybe better to head back to Houndton and get help, try and figure out what happened? But Dire Newfoundland points out that if they do that, they've lost a lot of time and they aren't sure that Max isn't here already. Better to press on and clear the castle. And with that, they continue to the next room.

The next room is a huge main hall, almost entirely empty. A few wall sconces, an iron chandelier, and a big wooden door at the far end carved with the symbol of House Transylvanian-Hound. But as the Pioneers enter, they hear a bell sound, and someone yells "Guards! Guards!"

And either spectral dogs, each wielding halberds, appear, and charge, ready to defend their home. 

The battle is joined! Dire runs out in the fray, swinging his hammer, and is immediately surrounded by the guard-dogs. But while Dire might not be able to lay waste to his enemies the way Boomer can, what he is good at is avoiding blows. He parries with shield and hammer, and his mighty floofs absorb the rest of the hits. Sausagedog capers after him, strikes one of the guards, and the vanishes into the shadows. 

Boomer reaches down into the depths of his soul to find his rage...and he manages. He draws the longsword from his erstwhile body's belt and slashes about, felling two of the guards immediately! But the Pioneers watch in horror as two more appear at the other end of the room.

Peppa summons up her Magic Stick, and Petunia lets loose a Sonic Boom to knock these dogs back. The battle continues, but every time one of the guards is destroyed, a new one appears. The battle shifts to the far end of the room (leaving Boomer to run, wheezing, trying to catch up), and Petunia yells to get through the door. One of the guards responds "they're trying to get to the door! Block it! Defend the Lord-Mayor!"

Peppa calls up her Ghost Yorkies, and standing near the door means that the guards are immediately chewed and weakened, meaning a quick slash from Sausagedog or a bonk from Dire will drop them...but they reappear almost immediately. Sausagedog uses his dust of disappearance and slips past them, into the next room, and immediately wishes he hadn't. The room is ankle deep in some kind of brown swill that smells completely foul, and something moves within in. He falls back - this battle needs to be won first.

Finally Petunia realizes that these dogs will never stop as long as they're defending their home. She tells the others they need to be ordered to stand down, and Sausagedog tries ("I am a visiting noble from House Daschund!") but they don't buy it. But then Dire draws himself up to his full height, raises his shield, and limmed by his Shield of Man's Faith, bellows, "IN THE NAME OF THE CHURCH OF MAN, STAND DOWN!"

The guards, cowed by the presence of the paladin before them, step back. "Why are you here?" one asks.

"WE ARE HERE TO SEE..." Dire searches his memory for a name and comes up blank. "THE LORD-MAYOR!" That apparently works. The guards fade away, and the Pioneers take a breath. 

Sausagedog relates what's in the next room, and they open the doors to have a look. Peppa and Dire are horrified to realize that this room is in fact a chapel to Man, obviously defiled now. Dire suggests that they just burn the goop, or at least try - if it's flammable, great, if not, they haven't lost anything. Petunia considers and decides that's actually pretty sound logic, and hurls a bit of fire at it.

An explosion blows them back, deafening Boomer and Peppa, who were kind of in the path of it. When the foul-smelling smoke clears, the goop has been burned off, but a figure rises up in the middle of the room. It's taller even than Dire, but seems to be composed entirely of huge, slithering worms! The worm-monster advances, and Dire casts Sacred Flame at it. Several worms fall off, burning with white fire. Definitely a demon, then.

Boomer tries to find his rage again...and cannot. His body is tired and spent. Sausagedog vanishes into the shadows and hurls a rock at the monster, knocking a few more worms off, and Petunia hits it with a corrosive arrow! The demon lunges at Dire, opening its mouth and forming teeth from wriggling worms! It "bites", but the worms just get lost in Dire's floof ("I'm gonna have to brush so long tonight"). Peppa conjures up her Magic Stick and bonks it, and the stick goes right through it, all the way to the floor, destroying the creature.

The Pioneers pick their way through the poop and dead worms ("that was easier than I thought it was going to be," muses Sausagedog, unwisely tempting fate). They find themselves next in what was once barracks. Decaying piles of wood that were probably once bunks adorn the corners. They consider sleeping for the night, but then realize that if they give Max that much time, who knows what he'll do? If there's a back way out, he might escape. Better to take a quick rest and press on. 

Peppa casts a Prayer of Healing, and Petunia searches the room. Under a loose stone, she finds an crumbled, decaying note wrapped around a ring and tied up with string: 

Sausagedog listens and finds himself a little teary, but blames it on the dust. Petunia finds the ring within and identifies it as a Ring of Protection, and gives it to Peppa to hold onto. After they all finish their rest, they move on.

The next room was once residential apartments, they think, but there's nothing left here except a couple thousand of those red-winged moths. They warily avoid them, and find a door at the far end of the room that leads out to another courtyard! 

Nothing here but high grass, it seems, and a staircase that leads up to the door to the main tower. But in the grass, they find exsanguinated corpses of birds and rats and other fauna. Sausagedog remembers stories of an Unseen creature called the Blood Drinker, that hunts by night and, well, drinks blood. There's about an hour before sunset...better to check the next door.

As they approach, Dire hears voices and shushes the others. Listening closely, he hears a female voice that sounds familiar to him:

"I don't care. I want Boomer dead. I agreed to help to have my revenge on that-"

And then another voice Dire knows, that of Boomer himself, but with the cadence and inflection of Max Pitbull. 

"You'll not be harming my body! It's old, but it is a national treasure of Pugmire!" 

The argument continues, but then a third voice interjects, and this one chills Dire to his core. It is the voice of nightmares, the voice of the shadow that frightens pups. "You'll not fight amongst yourselves until they are dead. Whatever force prevents them from leaving also restricts us. They come soon. The Pioneers must die."

Dire relays this to the others quietly, and Peppa casts a Protection from Evil spell on them. Dire hears the third voice again: "Hark. They are here. Be ready."

"Welp," says Dire, and kicks in the door. Before them, a huge circular room, and in the middle, a gigantic wooden wheel with multiple leather restraints - the Wheel of Inversion! Three beings stand in front of it. 

One is Amelia Fold, the feline criminal who sworn vengeance against Boomer when he killed Luigi Husky. She snarls and spits, and then vanishes into the shadows. 

The second is Max Pitbull, wearing the body of Boomer. He pulls Boomer's maul from his back and his eyes take on the same fiery brightness as they always do before he rages.

The third is a huge creature that seems to be cat from the waist up, but the rest of its body is an immense serpent. It coils up in front of the Wheel to watch the battle. 

The Pioneers brace themselves for what might well be the worst fight they've ever experienced. 

Pugmire: Goat-demons and Body-swapping

Back into the spoooooky castle of the Transylvania-Hounds! Here's last time.

The goat-headed fire-demon steps menacingly towards the Pioneers, brandishing a staff of crystalline hellfire. Boomer Pitbull raises his paws and tries to parley, attempting, for once, to follow a more peaceful path.

Unfortunately, the demon has no such inclinations. It tapes its staff on the still-burning forge fire and a small goat-like creature leaps out (and douses the fire entirely). The larger demon then steps forward and bonks Boomer on the head.

The staff doesn't hurt much, but Boomer feels fire wrack his body and his skin starts to burn. Lamenting this annoying trend (you know, being immolated), Boomer rolls his eyes and rages. 

Peppa Papillon, meanwhile, calls up her spiritual Yorkies, which circle her and snap at the demon already in their wake. She also calls up the Spiritual Stick and bonks the small demon on the head. 

Dire Newfoundland attacks the larger demon with his hammer, but realizes that the demon doesn't even feel it. His hammer has no magic, and Dire decides his efforts are better spent protecting the others (which, fortunately, he's well-suited to do). Gelert Sausagedog cartwheels into the shadows and then pops out and slashes the demon with his axe (which is magical), and Petunia Pibble lines up a clear shot and casts a beam of ice through the demon, covering it in frost.

Boomer, now raging, chops at the demon with his masterwork sword, severing its leg. The demon bursts out of the ice and strikes at Boomer and Sausagedog, and another miniature goat-demon coalesces from the fire limning Boomer's body! Sausagedog stumbles a bit - he's not nearly as sturdy as Boomer and another hit like that might do him in. 

Dire calls to Petunia to ice it again, and she does, this time freezing it in place! Peppa sends the stick to whack the larger demon, and Boomer chops off its other leg (it remains there, hovering, however). It strikes at Sausagedog and Boomer again, and Sausagedog collapses in an onslaught of hellfire.

Petunia throws corrosive arrows at the demon and Boomer continues his assault. The goat-demons ram and kick at the dogs, but Peppa's Yorkies whittle them down. Dire reaches down and casts Spare the Dying on Sausagedog, pulling him back into the fight, and he retreats into the shadows. Between Boomer's sword, Petunia's magic, and Peppa's stick, the dogs fell the demon, and it collapses, leaving behind only its skull (they also make short work of the remaining minor demons; one tries to ram Peppa with its last ounce of strength, but Dire intercedes with his shield and the Yorkies finish it). 

Boomer, the rage subsiding, steps up to the skull and hits it with his maul, but the hammer bounces back. The skull, apparently, is too evil to just be smashed. Peppa performs a ritual over it and saps the magic, and Boomer smashes it into fragments. The dogs move gingerly back into the castle, through a door, and into a small tower with a spiral staircase and some weird tapestries on the walls.

But...Petunia realizes those aren't tapestries. Parts of them are moving. She calls that out and Dire flings his lantern at one, and the "tapestries" all flow off the wall as a swarm of red-winged moths! They flutter around the dogs and then out the window, and the dogs are left bleeding from hundreds of moth-bites. 

They all decide they don't wish to bleed, so Peppa has everyone sit on the stairs while she casts a spell to heal them. The moth-wounds closed, they move out of this tower and into a courtyard similar to the one where they fought the Darkwood Dryad. Standing in the middle of it is a dog in acolyte's robes, his arms outstretched. He's clearly spectral, however.

The dogs approach and ask him if he's Owlet Transylvania-Hound. He says he supposes he is, or whatever's left of him. They decide that Owlet means them no harm, and settle in for the night. Petunia casts a Private Kennel spell to keep them safe, and they sit down to chat with this strange ghost.

Owlet confirms that he's dead, and has been for some time. Petunia asks if he sent them the message to "CLEANSE THIS PLACE," and he says he did. She also asks if the small stone hut that they found was his; again, he says it was. He doesn't know, however, what horrors await them, as he is bound here to the courtyard. He says that a previous group of adventurers summoned him (rather, the last surviving one did before she was slain), and he's not sure why he's still here. He does tell them, however, that there's an iron gate (which he will open for them), a great hall, a chapel, a barracks, and then the central tower...where the real evil lurks.

The dogs cheerfully accept all of this, and bed down for the night. Some hours later, Boomer is awakened by Brother Owlet's ghost, asking him to come outside into the courtyard. "I have a dire portent about your family," he says. "No, he's Dire," says Boomer. "Just come on."

They go outside, and Boomer talks a bit about his family, about Max Pitbull and what his family legacy means. Owlet listens politely, but then admits "Actually, I just needed to get out you outside." 

Boomer finds himself levitating into the air. Owlet waves as he vanishes, up into the castle...

The next morning, the dogs awaken. No sign of Owlet and no sign of Boomer. Dire figures he's just gone off to pee, but when he doesn't come back, Sausagedog sniffs around and finds his footprints leading over to the edge of the courtyard, and then just...stopping. No more prints, no more scent. Like he just vanished.

The dogs figure this is probably bad, and decide to get moving into the castle and try and find him. As they approach the iron gate, it swings open, and a torrent of red moths fly out, framing a large dog in a cloak - Max Pitbull!

Dire throws a rock and bops him in the snoot. "Ow," says Max. "Why does everything hurt? Everything aches..."

The dogs ask what he's doing here and where Boomer is, but after a few moments of conversation, they figure it out - this is Boomer. Somehow, Boomer's mind has been transplanted into the elder Pitbull's body. 

Does that mean that Max Pitbull, the aggressive, bigoted, ambitious overlord of the Pitbull family, is now in possession of the nearly indestructible murder-tornado that is Boomer? 

The Pioneers ready themselves. The worst fight they've ever had may await them. 

Pugmire: Into the Spooky Castle

After a looooong hiatus due to the holidays and illness, we are back with dawgs! Here's last time.

The Pioneers wake up at the Houndton Pioneer's Guild House to find breakfast being provided by Mawrin Wolfhound and his wife, Bunny Basset. They talk about their next move - which is to head up into the mountains and investigate Castle Transylvanian-Hound! (castle thunder)

Mawrin tells them that there's a road that goes up into the mountains a ways, but it gets harder to hike as you go higher. The Pioneers start getting their gear ready, and Boomer Pitbull asks if the Pioneer House here has a magical weapon he might borrow. Just recently they've fought creatures that aren't affected by standard weapons. Anything big and heavy would do. Likewise, Gelert Sausagedog asks if there's a way to make invisible stuff visible, since they're all expecting the castle to be haunted.

Mawrin digs into the storehouse and finds a masterwork greatsword. Bunny finds a pouch of floury powder she calls "Pawprint Powder." Sprinkle it on the floor and anything walking over, regardless of corporeality, will leave prints. There just isn't much of it; it comes from the Monarchies and has to be imported here.

Peppa Papillon and Petunia Pibble leave their fancy clothes behind, figuring they probably aren't going to any formal affairs up in the mountains. Dire Newfoundland doesn't bother, since he's still carrying the sack of holding, so capacity isn't a big concern.

The dogs start hiking, and a couple of days later, wind up approaching Castle Transylvanian-Hound! 

Imagine something like that, but dark, moss-covered, and spooky, with mountains behind it. That's actually the Marksburg Castle in Germany, by the way.

The pathway they're on leads them onto the level grounds around the castle. They spot a drawbridge gate (and it's even down!), but Boomer suggests they make a sweep around the outside first, and the others agree.

There's a big area, now overgrown with weeds and some small trees, that was probably space for a market at one point. At the end of it, they find a short stone wall sectioning off a couple of smaller areas. One has a cemetery, the other has a small, squat stone building. 

They check the graveyard first. It's old and overgrown with weeds in places, but none of the graves seem disturbed (from inside or outside). Petunia takes the time to set the tombstones that have fallen upright, and the other dogs help out by clearing away brush and tidying up a bit. Sausagedog finds a mausoleum, and shoulders the door open. Inside, three sarcophagi, each labeled: Zigiz Transylvanian, Dashiel Transylvanian, and Wisteria Transylvanian. 

Petunia recalls that Zigiz was the noble in charge of the house when he was elected lord-mayor of Houndton, and tried to build a road up into the mountains to the castle and wound up bankrupting the whole family. Wisteria, his daughter, tried to hold the house together, but was unable to, and it fell apart shortly after her death (Dire notes that there are still Transylvania-Hounds, but no more House Transylvania-Hound). Peppa recalls this story, too, and remembers that Zigiz had a son as well. She remembers that because he was an Acolyte of Man, but doesn't remember his name. Why isn't he buried here? 

With these questions on their minds, the dogs check the next area, with the little building. Approaching it, they think it might be a cell at first, but there are no bars on the window and not only is the door not locked, it doesn't have a lock. Dire enters and finds that the room is empty, apart from some woods carved on the wall: "IN THE STILLNESS AND QUIET, FEEL THE HAND OF MAN ON YOUR HEAD. YOU ARE A GOOD DOG." 

The Pioneers figure this may have been the quarters of Brother Transylvanian-Hound, if he chose to live apart from the castle, or maybe just a meditation space. There's nothing else here, meaning any furniture or bedding has either been taken or rotted away. Peppa looks at the inscription quietly for a moment, and the dogs realize it's getting late. They decide to camp for the night, and continue on it the morning.

That night, Dire, Sausagedog, and Boomer all dream of a strange face. Rather, they all have the sorts of dreams they normally do - Sausagedog performs for a crowd, Boomer skips through a field of daisies - but in each of their dreams, well above all of them, a dog's face is watching them, silently. They've never seen it before, but it's clearly a hound of some kind...

They discuss this over morning rations, and then, it's time to go across the drawbridge! The bridge doesn't cover a moat, it covers a crevasse. Dire tosses a rock in, but no one hears it hit. The dogs decide to go across one at a time, and tie a rope around a tree on their side to act as an anchor. Petunia goes first, tapping the bridge, but no problems. Peppa goes next, but she's light enough that the timbers don't even creak. 

Then Dire crosses. He gets about two-thirds across before they all hear a tremendous crack, and the timbers break! But Petunia is ready! She casts a spell to make him fall slower, and then an arcane lasso to yank him back onto the ground. 

Sausagedog nimbly cartwheels across ("BARKOUR!"), leaving only Boomer, the biggest and heaviest of them. They fix the rope on the other side so Boomer can just hand-over-hand his way...but in the middle, the rope on the far side starts to come untied and it sags.

Boomer looks down into the darkness of the crevasse and realizes that if he falls, he's gone...but then Petunia casts the spell again and yanks him to safety. 

The dogs collect themselves and move on, through the gate. They find themselves on a wide, cobblestone path, and as they walk, the stones start to move. The rise up in a pattern, and they spell out:

CLEANSE THIS PLACE

"Nice to have clear instructions for a change," says Peppa. Just then the gate behind them slams shut. Nothing for it but to move.

They go through another gate (turns out castles have a lot of gates), and wind up walking down a slope next to a high wall. On the other side of the wall, a grassy area and a big tree at one end. Sausagedog leaps up onto the wall to have a look at the tree, and then drops down next to it, but doesn't see or smell anything interesting. He turns his back on the tree and has time to hear some crackling twigs before something hits him!

Sausagedog is knocked to the ground! He rolls over to see a dog made of wood standing there, with nasty-looking thorns - some of them bloodied! - coming out of its fists. It flicks its hand towards the grass, and seeds land there. The ground starts roiling as vines erupt, and the creature advances and slugs Sausagedog again. 

Dire charges in and yanks Sausagedog out of the way. Sausagedog recovers his composure and runs to the spots where the seeds fell. Vines are erupting from the ground, so he chops one of the bundles to bloody bits with his hand ax. Petunia, seeing this, tries to disrupt whatever magic is making that happen, but the spell fails, and the vines stand up into horrible, wriggling figures made of plant matter and dirt. Dire, noting that Sausagedog is once again in trouble, runs over to guard him. Sausagedog hits one of the vine creatures, but gets a snootful of pollen for his trouble. He coughs up yellow gunk and recoils.

Peppa summons a spiritual weapon and calls a healing bark toward Sausagedog. Boomer charges in and rages, smashing the wooden dog with his greatsword, but this causes it to release a burst of pollen!

Dire, always thinking strategically, yells back to Petunia "we need some firepower!" Petunia runs up and lines herself up with all three opponents (and Boomer, but he can take it) and throws a beam of fire, scorching the plant creatures. Boomer pounds on the wooden dog, and Petunia strikes the deathblow with her magical stick, splitting it into wormy, burning chunks of wood. The other dogs make quick working of the seedlings, and they all take a breather.

Dire examines the tree, and finds an iron ring jutting out of the notch where the thickest branches emerge. He yanks it out, and finds it's attached to a spike. As soon as he pulls it out, the tree collapses. Petunia examines it, and determines that it's a demonic artifact. Jammed into a sapling, it turns it into a big tree that houses a Darkwood Dryad (the thing they just fought). The Dryad then attempts to beat enemies unconscious and plant a seed in their chests, making their bodies grow into trees as well.

Thanking Man that this didn't happen to any of them, Dire performs a cleansing ritual over the spike, calling on his newfound Acolyte training. It seems to work - the spike rusts over, and Petunia confirms it no longer smells of Unseen. Congratulating themselves on this victory, the dogs move on.

The next area is a short, covered tower that contains portraits, presumably of the past Transylvanian-Hounds. They're moldy and ruined, though, so it's hard to identify anything. One portrait, though, has four names on the nameplate - Zigiz, Dashiel, Wisteria, and Owlet - and Peppa recalls that Owlet was the name of the Transylvanian-Hound scion that turned to the Church. She peers as his garb in the portrait to try and get a sense of where he might have taken vows, but the picture is too hard to see.

The next area they find is the castle forge. Dire rushes in, hoping to perhaps finally be able to take the auva fragments and make armor, but although the over and the anvil are here, the tools are long gone. Dire looks around for any other items of interest, but doesn't find anything.

Petunia, though, thinks to check the ashes of the fire. She finds a horn - a long, curved horn...still attached to a skull. She pulls it out, and the dogs realize it's not canine (or, indeed, feline). Dire suggests cow, but the horns are too curvy, maybe more like a goat. Petunia sniffs it for magic, and recoils in pain. It's like a snootful of cleansing lye!

And then the skull shakes a little. A spinal column grows from the neck, shoulders crackle out, and arms emerge from those. Robes unfurl from nowhere, and the demonic goat-skulled creature stands there, taller by half than even Dire. It swirls its bony hand around and summons fire, and then shapes the fire into a huge staff, solidified into red-orange crystals. It snorts and turns to face the dogs.

"I know you're evil," says Dire, unhooking his hammer, "but that was a really cool entrance." 

Pugmire: RABIES!

Arf! Woof! Snu? Here's last time.

Our heroic doggos are in the ruins of what seems to have been a prison for Bad Dogs. Peppa Papillon, the Acolyte of the Church of Man, is overcome by the feeling of shame and sits in a corner, continually reciting the Code of Man (her player was out, though I have no reason to assume it was because of mystical existential shame). The others leave her in the cell they fell into - she seems to be safe there - and continue to explore.

The ruins consist of a single hallway with ten cells, five on each side, like the one the dogs fell into. A couple of them are full of debris, but most of them are intact, more or less. Petunia Pibble checks them to make sure they're all empty and all the same, and they are...until she reaches the last one on the left.

That cell has a whining sound emanating from it. As the dogs get closer, they start to feel strange. Petunia, Gelert Sausagedog, and Dire Newfoundland all feel feverish and thirsty, and as they look into the cell it gets worse. Behind them, Boomer Pitbull feels it as well, but shakes it off. And then, the other three dogs turn to Boomer with murder in their eyes!

Sausagedog vanishes into the shadows and appears behind Boomer and stabs him! Dire runs up and bonks Boomer with his warhammer, and Petunia, not caring about collateral damage, lines up and fires an elemental beam across all three of them! The three afflicted dogs start foaming at the mouth, and Boomer, horrified, realizes that if he rages, he can defend himself...but he knows he won't be able to pull his punches and he'll almost certainly kill his friends.

To make matters worse, Boomer (and only Boomer) sees a skeletal, ghostly dog emerge from the cell, flow over to him, and bite. The teeth go right through him, but the pull out his life and leave him weakened. 

Petunia throws another beam, this time made of lightning, and it blinds and deafens Boomer. He runs, blindly, just trying to get away, and smashes through the cell door opposite him and hits the wall. Now in a box, he turns in time to get stabbed by Sausagedog again, and then raked by the skele-ghost! Boomer strikes the ghost with his hammer, but it just goes right through the creature. Cursing, Boomer is struck by a batch of seeking stingers from Petunia! Boomer falls, choking out "I didn't...want to hurt you". But now the madness ends, and the other dogs can see the ghost.

Sausagedog, who of course is standing right there, hits the ghost with his hand axe. Unlike Boomer's hammer the axe is a masterwork, and the magic in it allows it to strike the ghost! The dog-creature yelps and whirls around to bite, but Petunia hits it with another barrage of seeking stingers and it collapses, wheezing, before melting away into nothing.

Boomer pulls himself up ("ow"). The others apologize, but Boomer is understanding ("Happens to all of us"). Petunia searches the cell from which the ghost emerged, and finds an ancient collar, apparently made of the same quasi-plastic material as the vestment they found in the ruin in the north, as it hasn't decayed. It has a metal clasp and a little metal medal on it, but it's far too rusted to read any markings. 

The dogs decide to get out of here. Any further excavation is going to require time and tools. Petunia hurls all of them out with her arcane lasso spell, and they find that Tizzy Dachshund is watching them. They tell her what happened and she reports that there have been stories of pitiful wails and howls in this valley before the earthquake, but nothing like that!

The dogs need rest and Boomer needs a bit of medical attention, so they decide to stop at Castle Ridgeback (Tizzy says that the Lady Ridgeback is a reasonable sort) rather than go back to Maxville or on to Houndton. They knock on the immense wooden doors and, once they identify themselves as Pioneers, are let in and given food and drink. The dog they talk to, a red-furred, lean guard named Pinny Ridgeback, confirms the stories of strange cries in the valley, but he doesn't know why. They mention that a dog named Arrowak Foxhound supposedly witnessed the earthquake. Pinny knows him; he's often found in the pub in Houndton. 

Once they've rested up, they decide to go on to Houndton (with the exception of Peppa; she decides to stay behind at the chapel in Castle Ridgeback and collect herself). They go down the hill into the town. It's pretty diverse - mostly dogs of the various Hound families, but also cats and rats and even the occasional bird. The dogs reflect that they're not far from Waterdog Port, so that makes sense. 

Boomer finds a streetside stall selling smoked turkey legs and buys a couple. The vendor undercharges him, but he doesn't think anything of it. He rejoins his friends chomping on a bone, and they find the local pub - the Worthless Mole - without much trouble. They go inside and get mostly respectful receptions - dogs nod and raise glasses to Dire, a group of Dachshunds at the back call to Sausagedog when he enters (he rolls his eyes and ignores them), there's some murmuring when Petunia enters. Boomer is off taking a leak and doesn't come in with the rest. Petunia asks the waitress where they might find Arrowak, and she points him out. Petunia sends him a drink with a request to join them at their table.

Arrowak cheerfully joins them, downing his beer. Boomer enters shortly thereafter, and the whole place gets quiet. Petunia hears the crowd mentioning "Pitbull," but also "Boomer" - apparently he's known here? 

In any case, Arrowak is happy to tell his story, as long as the beer keeps flowing (and the dogs make sure it does). Arrowak tells them that he was out in the valley that night and saw the earthquake - but he saw a cat with a stick! Like, a big stick (he nods to Petunia's staff). The cat was standing on a hilltop and he saw her - he thinks it was a her - holding up the staff and then the ground started to shake and roil and the ruins came to the surface! 

The dogs ask if they remember anything about the cat, and (once his beer is refilled), Arrowak says that her ears were folded over, rather than pointed up. Dire growls slightly - could this have been Amelia Fold, the onetime henchcat of Luigi Husky of the Riverwall Mafia? Amelia swore vengeance against Boomer a long time ago, after all... 

Petunia offhandedly says that they should get some dinner, and Arrowak cheerfully agrees to this invitation. The dogs eat, but when it comes time to pay, Boomer finds they are undercharged again. He asks why this time - not that he minds the discount - and the waitress tells them that Pitbulls always get a discount. It's always been that way. Dire asks if that's voluntary or coerced, but she says it's traditional and she doesn't know why.

The dogs find that Houndton has a Pioneer Guild House, run by a dog named Mawrln Wolfhound and his wife, Bunny Basset. He welcomes them in and they talk about what they've seen, look over the collar they found, and theorize that perhaps the dog whose tormented spirit they found might have been kept in that cell as a quarantine. Mawrln remembers stories of such an ailment, a disease that makes dogs violent and thirsty but inevitably killed them. Man had means of preventing it, but not of curing it - perhaps this unfortunate ghost could mimic its symptoms. 

Disquieted by this possibility, the dogs decide to bed down for the night. Once again, they wonder about the abandoned Castle Transylvanian Hound, and whether Amelia (or the Nagayaga!) has taken up residence. That's a quest for tomorrow, though, and definitely one they'll need Peppa for! 

Pugmire: The Ten Castles of Houndton

Once again, we venture into the mythical lands of Pugmire. Here's last time, though this is a new adventure.

It's been some time since the Pioneers liberated the iron mine near Ellendonk from the treacherous Doberman family. There have been political rumblings from the Dobermans, but it hasn't directly impacted the characters. Peppa Papillon stayed up in that part of the kingdom to help manage the burgeoning pilgrimage site. Gelert Sausagedog has been carousing and telling stories about his exploits and letting people buy him drinks. Boomer Pitbull has been continue his fitness regimens, and Dire Newfoundland has acquired a set of heavy armor from the Pioneers. Petunia Pibble has helped Biva Affenpinscher to record all their adventures and keep the archives up to date.

On this particular day, the Pioneers all meet up at the Guild Hall for lunch, and Bivi tells them he has an interesting mission for them. Apparently around Houndton, an earthquake uncovered some ancient ruins. That by itself is interesting, but he mentions that there's an estate down there owned by one Max Pitbull, and asks if he's any relation to Boomer.

(As it happens, Max Pitbull and his estate were mentioned way back here.) 

The Pioneers make their preparations. Sausagedog hits the books and learns a little about Houndton. A group of Hound families tried to split off from Pugmire and form their own kingdom, and actually did manage for a while. There was economic and political strife between the two kingdoms (though never open conflict) for some years, but then Queen Carmella Papillon I made a deal with Cyrus Transylvania-Hound and Houndton became a protectorate of Pugmire. The ruler of Houndton took on the title of Lord Mayor, and thus is has been ever since. 

The area is known for stone mining, and ten families have built castles (of varying size) around Houndton. Those are: Transylvania, Beagle, Basset, Afghan, Bloodhound, Dachshund, Wolfhound, Foxhound, Greyhound, and Ridgeback. (There's a drinking song called "The Ten Castles of Houndton," with a verse for each one complete with hand motions. It's rare to get to the last verse, Ridgeback, because you're usually too drunk by then.)

The Pioneers set off, and the journey south is largely uneventful. Unlike the road north, this one is much better traveled, and they pass and are passed by wagons going to and from Pugmire. A couple of days later, they arrive at a manor house surrounded by a short stone wall and closed off by an iron gate. The crest of House Pitbull adorns the wall. This, then, must be Max Pitbull's estate.

The Pioneers decide they have to call, so they ring the bell. A door opens a moment later, and a large, muscular dog emerges. He immediately lights up upon seeing Boomer, and introduces himself as Harley Pitbull. The Pioneers introduce themselves, and Harley lets them in - they were just about to have dinner!

Harley shows them in and has them leave their weapons and armor in the cloakroom. They note that there are several sets of armor already there, with little plaques indicating who they belong to: Harley, Davidson, Rizza, and Rumble. An ornate set of armor has the place of honor in the room. It's polished and well-kept, but hasn't been used in a while. Its plaque says "Lord Max." 

The dogs enter a dining room with a long table that would easily seat thirty, but at present, only five dogs sit around it. The one sitting at the head of the table is old, gray of fur, and wearing fancy robes. This must be Max Pitbull. The others sit around him, and the characters join, just as a group of rats bring out trays of food - whole turkeys, a big slab of beef, and a big tray of greens (pit bulls, as anyone who owns one can tell you, are omnivores and love them some plants). 

The party eats heartily. Dire and Boomer both pack away food and are delighted to see it get replaced; the rats bring more turkey. The Pioneers relate some of their adventures and discover that Max is something of a bigot; he's disgusted to hear the Boomer was ever in the Monarchies, but when he hears he was transporting a prisoner he softens to that some. Hearing about the mines and the Dobermans, he laughs and says that the Dobermans once tried to control stone mining here, but they were sent packing by the Hounds. 

The Pioneers also learn that when a new hound becomes Lord Mayor, their castle becomes the political and economic seat of Houndton. That was what ruined the Transylvania family - their castle is up in the mountains and they tried to build a road up there and wound up bankrupting the family. Now no one lives in the castle, and there are spook stories of monsters and ghosts. Max says that sometimes Pioneers have gone up, but never returned (but then, they weren't Pitbulls). 

They ask about the earthquake. None of the Pitbulls saw it, but one of them remembers that supposedly a dog named Arrowak Foxhound did. They've never heard of an earthquake here before, but who knows. 

Peppa eventually has enough of this guy and goes to the kitchen to talk to the rats. They initially freeze when she walks in, but after talking to them a bit they realize they've heard of Sister Peppa - they've heard from rats in Pugmire that she's a Good Dog. Sausagedog leaves the table to snoop, but gets turned around and winds up back in the dining hall. The Pitbulls don't seem to mind much, though.

Peppa learns that the dogs who stay here are Max's grandsons, but he has sons and daughters of his own, as well as grandchildren and great-grandchildren and so on. Most of them live in Maxville, a town a little ways off. The rats tend the estate, raise the turkeys, farm the veggies, cook and clean and so forth, and live in a servant's quarters. Peppa goes back to the dinner, but decides to return and visit the rats later.

Harley offers the Pioneers lodging for the night and shows them to their rooms (they each get their own, which is novel). After they settle in, they come back downstairs for drinks, chats, and cards. Harley arm-wrestles both Boomer and Dire and handily beats them. Sausagedog finally does get to snoop, but doesn't find anything untoward - the place is clean and well-maintained, but the finery is all old. Peppa accompanies the rats out to their quarters and listens to the gossip a bit more. 

Turns out that a few grandsons stay with Max all the time, but they rotate out who's doing it. The wives and children stay in Maxville because although Max is obsessed with progeny, he doesn't actually like having pups around, and no one trusts him around the wives. He's also known to decide at a very young age whether a pup has "the eye of the warrior" - no girl ever does, and if there's actually something to it Max has never been able to explain it. The rats have heard rumors that, in years past, pups that didn't have this "eye" were either left to die or outright killed, but that hasn't happened in their memory. But Max fought in the War of Dogs and Cats, and he has been spreading his seed for decades. He has family from Ellendonk to Waterdog Port. 

The dogs stay up with the family for a while, and learn that Harley and Davidson share their father's bigotry (basically, only dogs are worth any time, and of dogs, only Pitbulls or other warriors - they seem to respect Dire more than Petunia, for instance). Rumble is a little more reasonable, and Rizza tells Petunia that he'll walk with the Pioneers to Maxville tomorrow since it's on the way to the earthquake site. He wants to see his kids, anyway.

The night passes uneventfully, except that Peppa gets a little drunk with the rats. In the morning, they all meet up before breakfast and share information. Sausagedog reports that it seems like Max is just an ordinary bigot, rather than a demon worshiper (how boring). Petunia opines that the Nagayaga could do worse than a decaying castle as a hideout, and the Pioneers decide they'll definitely need to investigate. First, though, the earthquake site. 

They have breakfast with the Pitbulls, and then the Pioneers strike out west with Rizza. He's a little more forthright than his cousins, and tells the Pioneers that yes, there was a time when young pups that lacked the "eye of the warrior" were killed in infancy, but that's been years ago. They ask who stands to inherit all this, and Rizza says that when Max finally dies it's going to be a bloodbath - he's never named an heir, and there are literally hundreds of dogs with a claim to the estate. He's not going to bother, though, he's going to take his family and go to Pugmire. 

Boomer muses that he might be related, and Rizza asks who Boomer's mother was. Boomer doesn't know; he was abandoned and left with a family of Sheepdogs outside Pugmire. With that question hanging in the air, the dogs walk over a rise and see Maxville below! 

Rizza howls, and hears three returning howls, and beams. As they approach, three pups run up and hug him. He introduces them: his oldest daughter Jasmine, middle daughter Shale, and young boy Gizza. ("He's a genius," says Rizza proudly.) 

The dogs look around Maxville a bit, but everything seems pretty functional. There are Pitbulls of all ages, and no obvious signs of inbreeding so they're getting new blood from somewhere. They pick up a pack lunch and move on - Rizza tells them to keep walking toward Ridgeback Castle, and then past that towards Dachshund Castle; the ruins are between them.

They move along and see Ridgeback Castle, and have a quick yelled conversation with the guards on the ramparts. They pass that, and see Dachshund Castle in the distance (they ask Sausagedog whether there's any relation, and he insists that there's no relation between him and those stuck-up wieners).

And then they find the churned-up earth and walls sticking out of the ground! A Dachshund is peering into the area, and Petunia goes up and talks to her. She introduces herself as Tizzy Dachshund and is very polite. Petunia asks if they're on anyone's land - that is, do they need to ask anyone's permission to investigate? Tizzy says that if they're going to, the head of the Ridgeback family is a much more reasonable dog than her uncle, the head of the Dachshund family. But, as Dire points out, better to ask forgiveness than permission anyway.

The dogs see what looks like a window or door in a wall half-buried, and Boomer forges ahead...and promptly falls through a weak spot, plummeting into the ruined building below. He lands in what seems to be a cage, and immediately feels a profound sense of shame. He's a Bad Dog, because if he weren't, he wouldn't be in this cage. 

The others climb down (more carefully) and all feel the same sensation. Petunia sniffs for magic and finds nothing evil, but a deep, ancient power suffusing the place. It's bad magic, it's just not Unseen. Dire leans on the bars and they give way, and the dogs walk out into what seems to be a hallway, lined with more cages. They all feel that same sense of shame, of being Bad Dogs, and a deep feeling that if they're here, they will probably never leave.

"Is this a...prison for dogs?" wonders Boomer. Perhaps it is. 

Pugmire: Dick Graffiti is Eternal

You know, I say this a lot, but I have gotten so much mileage out of The Weird. Best system-agnostic RPG purchase I ever made. 

Anyway, Pugmire. Here's last time. Moving on! 

The Pioneers are in the (former) lair of It That Keeps the Wild, a powerful nature-demon. They are exhausted and wounded. Boomer Pitbull and Peppa Papillon have the worst of it, but are recovering. 

They talk about what to do next - they need to go back to Ellendonk and talk with Graff Doberman, to tell him the good news. There's also the Doberman Mine to deal with. But for the moment, they need a rest, and Petunia Pibble just can't resist poking around.

She goes a little deeper into the lair and notes that the impenetrable forest surrounding it seems a bit less impenetrable. Past the (now burning) wooden statue of a tortured Man, she finds a stone wall. It looks like it was once part of a building; the edges are crumbly and jagged. But she's more interested in the markings on it. Painted in red, blue, green, black, and other colors she finds symbols and letters that she cannot read. Some of the markings, however, look...rude. Simply put, they look like genitalia. But not dog genitals, so...?

She calls the others over. Dire Newfoundland, whom you'll recall recently made his devotion to the Church of Man, recognizes some of these markings. They are indeed naughty bits, but the Naughty Bits of Man. Blasphemy? Maybe. 

The dogs continue to look around. Petunia walks around the wall to the other side and ignores a creeeaaaking sound too long, and falls right through the floor into a pit. "I'M IN A HOLE." 

The others come running (well, most of them. Boomer has passed the hell out). Gelert Sausagedog lowers a rope and climbs down with Petunia. Peppa imbues a rock with Sacred Flame and tosses it down, lighting up the room. The floor is stone, as are the walls, and the whole room is full of dirt and debris. 

Peppa wakes Boomer up and has him come to the hole, and she casts a Prayer of Healing to mend some of their wounds. Boomer hops down into the hole, as does Dire, and they start looking around. 

They find a smashed-up staircase in one corner and figure it led to an exterior door or hatch. But then Sausagedog finds something in the corner - a bit of white cloth. He touches it, and it has an artificial feel to it, almost like it was made of...plastic. He tugs it a bit, and the debris shifts. A skeleton tumbles out, a skeleton that is wearing a white coat made of this strange material...and is clearly not a dog. 

Dire has a look, and can tell it's not dog, cat, bird, or lizard. (Sausagedog: "Maybe some kind of frog?") Peppa comes down to see it, and can barely speak. This appears to be the skeleton of a Man. 

Such things are not unknown, but they're extremely rare, as most remains of Man have long since decayed. Sausagedog opines that he must have been very wealthy to wear clothes made of money, but Peppa suspects he might have been a priest of some kind. The coat has a square of plastic clipped to it, and it may once have had writing or pictures, but time and grime have yellowed it out and made it unreadable. 

Peppa sits down and prays, and the others keep looking. Petunia goes up the rope and starts poking around where the staircase would come up. Down in the pit, the others find a metal door in the far wall. It has a bar across it, rather than a handle, and pushing on it does nothing - it might be blocked from the other side or simply rusted shut. 

Petunia scrapes dirt away and finds a metal hatch. She tries to open it with Magic Paw, but can't exert enough force. She calls the others, and Boomer comes up and pulls it up open. It leads down to the smashed staircase. 

The dogs try and suss out what happened - this Man doesn't seem to have been laid to rest here, and they found the skeleton in a pile of wooden and metal bits. It looks more like he died in an accident or something. A bit more digging doesn't reveal anything over where the metal door would lead to, so it might be collapsed, but without more work it's hard to know. 

They decide they need to get the Church of Man involved here, as this is clearly a holy site (which, considering it was a demon's lair yesterday, is a little strange, but it makes sense that a demon would try to corrupt such a place). They decide to spend the night and recharge, and then Dire, Petunia, and Sausagedog will head back to Ellendonk and inform Brother Corbin of this place. Peppa and Boomer will stay here and make sure nothing demonic happens. The night passes uneventfully, except that four of the dogs (everyone but Peppa) wake at various points in the night and think they hear knocking from the other side of the metal door. Probably just the wind.

In the morning, the three dogs head back to Ellendonk and meet with Brother Corbin and Graff (who is recovering nicely). They inform him and, after a moment of shock and prayer, he decides he will write a coded message to the Church higher-ups and send it with his assistant acolyte Ricky Beagle. He, meanwhile, will accompany the dogs back to the site.

When they get back, everything is pretty much fine, other than Boomer having gone a little feral ("this happens whenever we leave him in the woods for too long"). Brother Corbin looks the place over, and opines that the best defense the place has now is its secrecy - no one knows about it, and it's out of the way enough that others are unlikely to stumble over it. Peppa agrees, and the dogs turn their attention to the next issue - the mines, the Doberman family, and the Nagayaga.

They discuss the matter a bit. None of them are comfortable leaving the miners to the mercies of the Dobermans, especially not knowing that the Nagayaga is pulling strings somehow. Dire is less interested in the politics of the situation ("we're Pioneers, this isn't what we do"), but the others figure that the presence of demons at whatever level makes this their concern. Boomer suggests that the workers in the mine should be given control of the means of production (Brother Corbin: "You've clearly read the works of Karl Barx. You just need to take care that you don't go full-on into cat ideology on the subject. You know, Maoism"), and Petunia says that Ellendonk should be involved as well.

The dogs decide to get the mayor of Ellendonk, Gerald Beauceron, involved. If they have his support, and they can dislodge Ute Doberman and (perhaps) Hotch Wiener from the mine, they can put Graff in charge at least in a transitional way. 

They head back to Ellendonk and take a meeting with Gerald. He's thrilled that they've solved the Night Ripper problem, but is initially unwilling to cross the Dobermans...until the Pioneers tell him that demons are involved and trying to restart the War of Cats and Dogs. 

Gerald is stunned. While he never quite says as much, he's clearly a Friend of Man, but hearing that the Friends' ideology aligns with the Nagayaga's shakes him pretty severely. He agrees to lend support to the mine once Graff takes over, and to keep control local. All the Pioneers have to do is get Ute to step down (Hotch is the mine manager, but he works for the Dobermans). Dire is hoping that getting her to step down involves hitting her stupid snoot with something, but Graff warns that she's a powerful artisan in her own right.

The dogs trek out to the mine and meet with Hotch Wiener. They explain the situation to him and that they'll be taking control of the mine (rather, Graff will). Hotch, like Gerald, is in no way interested in helping demons, and he hates this job anyway. He just asks that Boomer and Dire help him pack and load his stuff after the dust settles. 

Hotch calls a meeting of the miners and has Graff explain to them what's happening. The Pioneers go to meet with Ute, and she rallies the guards around her. Things get tense - the Pioneers might win this fight, but they are heavily outnumbered and would have to injure or kill a lot of dogs. 

But between Peppa's puppy-dog eyes, Petunia's logic, and Boomer's threatening muscles, they manage to convince Ute that a fight isn't in anyone's best interest. This is especially obvious when Peter Pibble, Petunia's cousin, talks to Graff and then tells the guards that anyone loyal to King Puckington Pug had better listen to the Pioneers, not the Dobermans. Ute is too smart to start a fight she's clearly going to lose, and leaves with a couple of guards that are clearly loyal to her.

Over the next month or so, the Church sends people out to the holy site to establish a mission and secure the area. The miners take over the mine's production, with support from Ellendonk and guidance and protection from Graff. And the Pioneers head back to Pugmire to regroup and plan their next adventure! 

Pugmire: Mirror Match!

Yesterday was Pugmire! Here's last time.

Our heroes had battled the Night Ripper - actually their friend Graff Doberman - and prevailed! They even freed him from the possession and Boomer Pitbull ran all the way to Ellendonk carrying Graff to get him medical attention. And now we catch up with the heroes as they gather themselves and head to Ellendonk to check on their friends.

They arrive in the village and go to the church to meet Brother Corbin Shetland. He tells them that Graff is sleeping; with the quick application of magic and the blessing of Man, he should be all right and his jaw should heal. The Pioneers take a rest and then talk to him.

Graff thanks them all, and tells them that he was living in Ellendonk with the purpose of keeping an eye on the iron mine and making sure that his father lived up to his agreements with the Kingdom of Pugmire. After a few weeks, though, he started having terrible nightmares. In the dreams, he was in a pristine, unspoiled wilderness, but then dogs came in and destroyed it, building mines and houses and churches and so on. The dreams eventually wore him down and allowed possession by an incredibly powerful demon - It That Keeps the Wild.

Dire Newfoundland remembers that Finley, the former supervisor of the mine, mentioned that name after he was rescued. Graff continues: It That Keeps the Wild was in league with the Nagayaga (the cat-snake demon that was actually sending the dreams; Petunia Pibble notes that they found a dreamstone in the mine's barracks that would allow dream communication), but then the Nagayaga betrayed the other demons. It That Keeps the Wild wanted the mine destroyed, and the Nagayaga wants it to continue digging up relics, though Graff isn't sure exactly why it wants them. He does know, however, where the demon's lair is.

Peppa Papillon notes that a demon can often be destroyed in its lair, but the trade-off is that it's much more dangerous. If they had a way of preventing the demon from leaving, they might be able to kill it - they were making progress in the last fight. They decide to get a good night's sleep, and then go back to the mine and see if the relics they've uncovered might include some way to mitigate damage from lightning. 

In the morning, they gear up. Graff starts getting dressed as well, and Dire advises maybe that's not wise - he's still injured and some force at the mine has already seen fit to try and frame him as a demon. Graff says that he wants at least one Doberman of good conscience there, but defers to the Pioneers' judgement. Brother Corbin offers to go along in a wagon and dress Graff as an acolyte, and that seems a good idea (plus then the Pioneers can ride instead of walk).

They get back to the mine and are waved in, and they go and speak with Hotch Wiener, the supervisor. Hotch is surprised to see them (they kind of disappeared after going to fight the Night Ripper), but is happy they've resolved that particular problem. They tell him they're looking for a way to entrap a demon and perhaps protect themselves from some of its powers. He tells them they should talk to Ute Doberman.

Ute, of course, is one of the three remaining foredogs of the mine, responsible for identifying and cataloging the relics they find. She's also Graff's cousin and loyal to the Doberman family (meaning she's probably a Friend of Man, though not necessarily a demon worshiper). Ute strides imperiously over to them and listens to their request in her usual haughty way, and then says she might have something that will help. She sods off to her tent; Dire asks if anyone else finds her particularly punchable. Gelert Sausagedog says that most rich dogs are like that, but yeah, she's especially bad.

She returns, carrying a dried-out parsnip. She tells them that it's a ward - you break it, bury it, and then concentrate on what you want to repel. It lasts about a night, but it can work on lots of things - demons, cats, even just "scent" (Petunia recalls that when she sniffed around Ute's tent, she couldn't smell anything). They take it, and Peppa asks if she has more so they could maybe entrap the demon, but she says she only has a few left and she needs them. 

The Pioneers get a second opinion and talk with Robet Bedlington (another foredog). He doesn't have any relics of his own (Ute has been known to keep them rather than turn them in, but the feeling is they're basically all her family's anyway), but Hotch might have something useful. Robet also mentions that Ute has crates of those parsnip-wards ("Of course she does."). Robet remembers Bertha Bernard finding an relic that she referred to as "zappy", but doesn't know what she meant. They decide to press Hotch some more.

They go back and talk to Hotch, and he loans them a few things. The object that Bertha identified is actually a "Ring of No-Zappy" according to her; it repels lightning. Peppa takes it. He comes up with a necklace with a small, metal oval with some raised letters on it - incomprehensible to the dogs - that he said his scholars identified as a token of valor to Man. Boomer takes it, figuring it will protect him if the demon does that scary howl thing again. There's also a torch that will illuminate invisible creatures, but Hotch says that to activate it, you need to sprinkle it with an herb that isn't native to this area. It's colloquially called "bird-nip."

Dire perks up - he's actually got some of that! Hotch writes them a receipt for these items (he does expect them back, after all) and Sausagedog signs it, and they head out. Brother Corbin drives the wagon as deep into the forest as he can, and Graff points: "Just keep walking that way. The forest will get deeper and darker, and that's where you'll find its lair."

The Pioneers do just that, and eventually come to an area that even Boomer can't push through. There are two dead trees bordering an area of dense forest, and the dogs all sense horrific evil within. This is it.

Peppa casts some Death Wards on Petunia and Sausagedog, and then they bury the parsnip and focus it on demons. They enter the lair - it's still dense forest, and so seeing anything is difficult, as is moving quickly. They push their way through to what they assume is the center, and there they see some strange and horrific things.

There's a huge column of wood with a horizontal crossbar near the top, and a statue of a Man lashed to it, either tied or nailed. From his expression, he's obviously in pain. But just as strange, at the foot of this abomination are five wooden statues of the Pioneers. They are twisted and mad, but clearly Dire, Peppa, Petunia, Boomer, and Sausagedog.

Peppa casts Sacred Flame on one of them, just to see if it burst into flame. It doesn't, but they all leap up and attack! (The players nicknamed them Wire, Weppa, Wetunia, Woomer, and Wausagedog for "Wooden [character's name]," though it was pointed out that this works as a Wario naming convention, too.) Woomer flies into a rage and attacks Boomer, striking him with claws that leave huge black welts, and Wire does likewise to Sausagedog. Peppa backs up to keep her spells intact, while Boomer rages and strikes his double. Dire brandishes his hammer and charges into the fray, while Petunia throws a fiery elemental beam and scores a couple of them.

The dogs are worried - they know how dangerous Boomer is, and if Woomer is capable of doing the same things, he could kill them all. But then Dire has a brilliant idea! He pulls out his sack of holding, and slams it down over Wetunia! Boomer chops at his duplicate and manages to fell it before it can get another hit in on him, chopping off one arm and then the other, and the monster turns into a tree!

The Pioneers fight on, and Boomer notices through his rage that another creature is appearing next to him and striking, and then vanishing. It becomes clear that this is It That Keeps the Wild, and it manages to fell Boomer (with help from Wire and Weppa). But Peppa runs over and stabilizes him, and Petunia casts an ice spell and freezes the demon while Dire and Sausagedog destroy or capture the last of the cursed statues!

The demon, now the only one remaining, calls lightning. It fells Boomer (again) and Peppa, but the others manage to survive it, and Boomer pulls himself back from the brink of death. He smacks the demon with his maul and sends its head flying over the treetops!

Dire casts Spare the Dying on Peppa ("something of a role reversal, here"), and Boomer leans on his maul before collapsing. The dogs are still in the lair, but are largely spent, and apparently out of danger. Except, of course, that Dire has two demonic wooden statues in his sack of holding...