Blades of Glory is a comedy starring Jon Heder, Will Ferrell, Jenna Fischer, Amy Poehler, Will Arnett, Craig T. Nelson, Nick Swardson, and William Fichtner.
Jimmy MacElroy (Heder) and Chazz Michael Michaels (Ferrell) are two figure skaters at the top of their game, competing in some not-the-Olympics games that are totally the Olympics. They both win gold by getting tied scores, but immediately get into a brawl, resulting in them being banned from the sport. Some years later, they're both trying to find a life when MacElroy's stalker (Swardson) points out that he's only banned from singles, not doubles, which is a loophole that MacElroy's lawyers somehow missed, and through an incredibly contrived set of circumstances he winds up partnered with Michaels. Michaels, meanwhile, is a drunk, a sex addict, and eking out a living doing children's "on ice" shows.
So it's a buddy movie, kept afloat entirely by Ferrell and Hader's chemistry (which fortunately is substantial). The villains of the piece are the utterly psychotic brother/sister Van Waldenbergs (Poehler and Arnett), kept in the mix when Jimmy and the younger Van Waldenberg sister Katie (Fischer) fall in love. Eventually it all comes down to Jimmy and Ferrell skating for gold, which obviously they win, smiles all round.
There are comedies that work because, while they might not hold together cohesively, they're made of funny individual gags. There are comedies that work because they tell a story that is funny. Blades of Glory, to me, falls just shy in both categories, but is closer to the former. It's funny enough, it's light and fluffy, and since it's not a Will Ferrell vehicle we don't have to deal with a whole movie of him being mediocre and arrogant. Hader's Jimmy is painfully naive but genuinely sweet, and that's a nice whipped cream to the bitter chocolate that is Ferrell (weird analogy). But the supporting cast is kind of where things fall down.
Well, that's not quite true. The cast is fine. Swardson is wasted on two scenes as Jimmy's obsessed, potentially violent stalker (Jimmy reminds him in one scene that he's got a restraining order against him, and he breezily replies "oh, that old thing"), Nelson is steady as the disgraced coach, and William Fichtner is perfect as the slimy billionaire that buys adopts children with athletic talent to turn into gold medalists. But none of them have arcs. The stalker doesn't get arrested at the last minute or save Jimmy from the Van Waldenbergs in a violent manner, the coach doesn't stand up to the billionaire who fired him after Jimmy won gold, and we never actually see the billionaire again after he kicks Jimmy out of the car on the side of the road following his lifetime ban. Over on the Michaels side of things, we don't really have much in the way of supporting cast, but we do have a lot of really obvious and kinda problematic jokes about sex addiction (after the meeting that Michaels attends, all of the participants are fucking out in the bushes because they're sex addicts get it)...and that's basically it.
So, it's cute, it's funny in places, and it's got some talent attached. But as sometimes happens when you hire funny people and let them riff, they forgot to write a full script.
My Grade: C-
Rewatch Value: Low
Next up: The Seventh Seal
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