Tuesday, September 6, 2022

Movie #693: Shrek Forever After

Shrek Forever After is the fourth and, so far, last movie in the saga. Same cast as before: Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Antonio Banderas, and now Walt Dohrn, John Hamm, Jane Lynch, Lake Bell, and Craig Robinson. 

Shrek (Myers) is in his first year of being a dad to ogre triplets, and while he loves his kids and his wife Fiona (Diaz), coping with the monotony and the lack of freedom gets to him and he snaps while at their birthday party. Down-and-out evil magical bargainer Rumplestiltskin (Dohrn) seizes on the opportunity and trades Shrek one day of freedom for one day from his childhood, but then takes the day Shrek was born and erases him from existence. Since he was never born, he never rescued Fiona; since he never rescued Fiona, her parents made a deal with Stiltskin and vanish into nothing, and now Stiltskin rules Far Far Away with his army of witches and giant terrifying goose. An underground resistance of ogres, led by Fiona are working against him, but Fiona is now bitter, guarded, and completely focused on her mission. 

Most of the movie, then, is Shrek having to woo this "new" Fiona, because as with the first two movies, true love's kiss is the cure to the curse. We get to see the fates of all of the other characters: Donkey (Murphy) is haggard and degraded, pulling a witch's cart for a living. Puss (Banderas) is Fiona's cat, but has become fat and soft from pampering. The other fairy-tale creatures are similarly rough and hardened by life under Stiltskin. 

I think this is what we call a "classic" plot; It's a Wonderful Life, kinda-sorta. Shrek comes to appreciate what he had, and once again, his biggest fault is that he can't talk about his feelings before they explode (no therapists in Far Far Away, I guess). The world feels familiar, so it actually works when it gets upended and lets things like Gingy (Conrad Vernon) being a gladiator fighting animal crackers have an impact. (Side note: One of the bits I have always found really funny in a dark sort of way is Puss devouring Gingy the second he gets the chance.)

The soundtrack is back on point, too, after slipping a bit in Shrek the Third, and the tighter focus on one villain and his machinations makes for a tighter story. All in all, it's a strong finish for the series, and hopefully they don't feel the need to remake it anytime soon. (The stage musical notwithstanding.)

My Grade: B+
Rewatch Value: Medium-high

Next up: Shutter Island

Monday, September 5, 2022

Atlantis: How Do I Join this Monk Outfit?

Just put on this monk outfit. Here's last time.

Our heroes spend a few days in Edfu resting and healing. Akala gets a little drunk and relates her experiences traveling to whoever will listen, Thanos and Imani spar, and Eithne tries to figure out a spell to send a message to her lover back in Hesperia. Once they're travel-ready, they hop on their lizards and head west towards Haru-Seti.

Haru-Seti is the seat of theological and political power in Khem. The Pharaoh and the top priests all live there, and there are temples to Khepri and many other gods. Akala lived here for a while, and while there saw the universe in the eyes of a dying Jinn (she doesn't know it, but that Jinn was Artair/Nizar, Eithne's uncle and later husband). In any case, the heroes also know that the old, infirm, and troublesome slaves from the quarry they found (back here) were taken to Haru-Seti, and that makes them suspicious. 

Haru-Seti is on the river, and as they approach they see that farms and plantations, which Akala notes are new, have popped up outside the city. Akala calls over a worker (a slave, obviously) and asks what's up with the farms, and he responds that since the barrier went up, it's been impossible to import food. The farms are to avoid starvation. The overseer comes over and cuts the conversation short, and stares at Thanos a bit longer than necessary. 

As they're moving on, Eithne bumps into an Ahl-at-Rab who stares at her, shocked, and then flips up her hood and slips off. Akala takes to the sky and lands in front of the Ophidian and asks what the hurry is. The snake-man lies ("I think I left the stove on") and Akala grabs his robe, whereupon the Ahl-at-Rab gobs poison into Akala's face, blinding her. The others catch up and help Akala wash the poison out of her eyes, but the Ahl-at-Rab is long gone. The heroes figure they're probably made, and decide that rather than try to hide out somewhere under the radar, they'll go big. Akala used to be an acolyte at the temple of Khepri, so they head there.

The center of Haru-Seti is a forest, and inside are three temples - one to Aset, one to Asari, and one, the biggest, to Khepri. They are welcomed in by a Nemean monk, and Akala learns that Menes, a monk of her association (and fellow Owl-man) has gone on to become abbot. The heroes go to visit Menes in the library, and discover that he is hard at work trying to bring down the barrier. Figuring that they've found an ally, they share information.

Menes informs them that the barrier went up not long after some Jinn started liberating slave camps. He hadn't realized the two events were related, but it makes sense. He's been trying to study the barrier and figure out a way to drop it at the Pharaoh's request, but he hasn't been told much. He suspects that the barrier was raised as a way to close the borders, but then the powers-that-be lost control of it. Anyone who crosses the barrier is torn to pieces by cipher scarabs and reformed as a slave elsewhere.

The heroes let slip that they're intended to liberate slaves. Menes isn't necessarily an abolitionist; he's afraid of what will happen to Khem and its economy if the slaves are freed (Akala mentions that this is a debate they've had before - it's all very theoretical to Menes, and besides, the god he worships is very tied to the rule of law and slavery is the law). He shows them the enclosure he's made where he keeps some cipher scarabs, but these are just from around the city, not from the barrier. 

Akala decides to pray to Orunmila for "manic wonder", a form of divine inspiration that makes people energized and full of ideas. Only issue is that it affects everyone in a 10 kilometer radius. She prays for a couple of hours and the effect takes hold, and Akala, prone to fugue states, starts mumbling about snakes. 

The others, however, come under the effects. Eithne goes outside and sets out some objects she carries that remind her of Nizar, and meditates on him. She notes that Jinn are susceptible to chaotic change when affected by powerful magic, but the amount of raw power it would take not only to direct that chaos but spread it around an entire country is just surreal. Divine magic, possibly. As she's pondering this, a cipher scarab tries to nick a horn ornament that Nizar wore. She grabs at it, and it bites off a chunk of skin. She conjures a glass orb to capture it and goes off to find the others.

Imani is walking in the forest, thinking about ways to kill the Pharaoh (that would solve a lot of problems, she posits). As she's walking, a group of ruffians with clubs come running out of the trees yelling "there she is!" One of them swings on her, but she blocks with her mong and the club bounces right back and hits the dude in the head. She warns the rest of them that she's got enough whoopass here for all of them, and then one of the ruffians smacks another and says "that's not her, idiot, she's only got one arm!"

The dude explains - last night a Taurean warrior kicked in the door to his father's shop and robbed the place, stabbing his sister in the process. Last place anyone saw her was heading into the forest, so they thought they'd try to find her trail, but then they found Imani and reacted rashly. Imani says that she'll keep an eye out for another Taurean. 

Thanos, meanwhile, goes to the workshop in the temple and applies his knowledge of engineering, as well as the ideas from the manic wonder. He considers that it's possible to teleport around the barrier (that's what the heroes did), and it might be possible to go over or under it. But what if they could construct a portal through it, powered by a crystal matrix? The power holding the barrier seems to be at least partially divine, so maybe the device could incorporate a shrine to a god of doorways or something? Thanos isn't really up on gods, so he decide to bring this up to Akala.

As he's making notes on a chalkboard, the other monks (who are all full of their own ideas) start watching him and murmuring appreciatively. But then they just stop, and Thanos turns to see that their eyes have gone pure white...and there's another Thanos at the back of the room. This Thanos tells our Thanos that he needs to erase these notes and forget about dropping the barrier - it will fall naturally with time, but forcing it will unleash something much worse. Present-Thanos doesn't believe him, however, and refuses to erase the notes. Future-Thanos starts to conjure up a sandstorm to wipe the slate clean, but Present-Thanos reverse the magic and sends it down his double's throat, causing him to burst. The sands vanish and the monks come to, and Thanos heads off to find the others.

Akala is still muttering about snakes eating their own tails, and remains pretty much out of it until Eithne pours water on her head. Even so, she can't get the notion out of her head, and draws it while Thanos talks about time travel. Eithne and Thanos put their heads together and theorize that someone might already have built a machine like Thanos was envisioning - and that's how the barrier came about.

Akala takes the drawing to Menes and shows him, and he identifies it - it's an Ouroboros. Akala remembers the Cult of the Ouroboros. They're Set-worshippers and they're pretty embedded in many parts of Khem. So perhaps they're responsible for this? 

The heroes decide that tomorrow, they will visit the other temples and try to get the abbots to help them. Menes may be complacent, but surely not all of the holy folk around here will be.

Movie #692: Shrek the Third

Shrek the Third is, um, the third Shrek movie. Once again we have Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Antonio Banderas, Julie Andrews, Rupert Everett, and John Cleese, but we also add Justin Timberlake and Eric Idle. 

King Harold the Amphibious (Cleese, and I added the appellation, it's not in the movie BUT IT SHOULDA BEEN) is dying, and the only heir he has is Fiona (Diaz), his daughter-turned-ogre. This means that Shrek (Myers) is about to be named king, but he's well aware that isn't the job he should have (though it's framed as him wanting to go back to his swamp, because being aware that monarchy is bullshit would be out of tone). He and his companions Donkey (Murphy) and Puss 'n Boots (Banderas) set out to find "Arthur," a long-long cousin or some shit of the king, because Shrek figures literally anyone is better than him. Oh, and Fiona is pregnant, which means Shrek spends most of the movie worrying that he'll be a shit father as well as having to be a shit king.

Meanwhile, Prince Charming (Everett) is eking out a living doing dinner theater and talking creepily to a picture of his dead mother, but then upon realizing that the king is dead and Shrek is leaving the kingdom for a while, he hatches an evil plan to unite all the fairy-tale bad guys and take over! And only Shrek the bridge of Disney princesses can stop him!

I mean, Shrek gets to be part of the final fight against Charming, sure, but his main arc is going to Worcestershire (a high school) and recruiting Arthur (Timberlake), who goes by Artie and is so lowly in the high school pecking order that even the D&D nerds dunk on him (oh, look, humor in which gamers are nosebleed-afflicted dorks, never seen that before). 

This movie is better than I remembered, but it's still far and away (lol) the worst of the series. I was trying to figure out why that was, because tonally it's pretty similar and the main cast does just fine, so why do I look back on the other movies in the series with some fondness and this one with cringing? 

For one thing, the soundtrack isn't great. It's not terrible, but one of the things about the previous movies was that the songs were perfect for the scenes. Here...like, during the frog funeral we get "Live and Let Die," which, like, it's about death, kind of, but it's not remotely appropriate for the circumstance and we all know the drop is coming and then it doesn't. "Immigrant Song" gives way to "Barracuda," and again, it doesn't really flow. 

And also, pretty much everything Arthur-related falls flat and that's a rather big part of the story. It's not Timberlake, his performance is fine (less thrilled about Eric Idle as Merlin, but I think that's the interpretation of the character as much as the acting). I think it's because when the movies have co-opted other characters previously, there's been some respect for the source material even if the spin has been pretty dark (think Geppetto selling off Pinocchio in the first movie, but still almost loving referring to him as "this little wooden puppet"). Here...the joke is that it's high school in the Shrek-verse, fair enough, but there's no Arthurian mythos being tweaked, it's just a shy nobody named Artie, a jock asshole named Lancelot, a mean girl named Guinevere...there was so much they could have done with these characters, but it all got a one-note joke and then left behind so we could get back to the people we know.

The other, other thing is that the emotional moments in the first two movies felt earned, because Shrek would be a dick and someone would get through to him. Here, what happens several times is that Shrek yells at someone and then apologizes, and none of the moments have any particular weight. 

Anyway, this is far more analysis than the movie deserves, but what else am I gonna do today? 

My Grade: C+
Rewatch Value: Low

Next up: Shrek Forever After

Saturday, September 3, 2022

Pugmire: Attack of the Yarn-Barf

Arf, arf. Here we go!

The dogs leave the Pause Four resort and consider their next move. They need to find Dorr's ring, and their research indicates that Talina Poodle probably has it. They have Bivi, their trustee, send her a message asking for a meeting, and she agrees to meet them the next morning. 

Petunia and Peppa go and speak to Talina in the morning. They explain the situation, and ask to borrow the ring in order to continue their exploration. Talina agrees, on the condition that anything of value they find belongs to her. Petunia and Peppa agree to this, and Talina goes into her room and opens a glass case containing the ring. She gives it to Petunia (reminding her that she'll want this back), and Petunia and Peppa take their leave. On the way out, they speak to Pumly and ask him to hold the ring for them - they don't want to take it off the grounds. 

The dogs get some rest, but figure they should try and learn a little of the cat side of the history. Their best source of cat-formation is Mr. Meow, so they swing by his shop for some grooming. Sausagedog asks about Swifty von Rex, and Meow, perhaps a little nervously, informs him that Swifty was a figure from the pre-War days of the Monarchies. He doesn't know much more than that, however. He gives the dogs the name of a cat historian: Xerses Abyssinian von Siberian. 

The dog finish their grooming. Boomer, getting a manicure, reflects that living out in the wilderness afforded him freedom but it came at the expense of comfort. The car doing his nails notes that one of his claws is split, and she can fix it but it's gonna hurt. Boomer takes Dire's paw for support and gives a little yelp when she pulls the split nail.

The dogs head over to the north end of Riverwall and find Xerses' door. It identifies him as a historian, researcher, and artisan, available by appointment only. Petunia knocks, and an annoyed-looking cat in robes that were probably expensive ten years ago answers. He surveys the characters and allows Petunia, Peppa (who has just been groomed, so is cleaner than usual), and "one of them" (meaning Dire, Boomer, and Sausagedog). Boomer goes, and Dire and Sausagedog wait outside. 

Xerses' home is full of books and scrolls; there's probably a system but it's not obvious. Petunia asks about Swifty von Rex, and Xerses explains that Swifty and Dorr were the best of friends and fellow adventurers. And then the War of Dogs and Cats broke out, and Swifty kind of disappears from dog history, but this was due to Dorr being visible (on account of being a founding Pioneer). The two remained friends, though, and set up the "hidey-hole" in the limestone caverns. Xerses theorizes that Dorr's ring would bypass Swifty's "threshold," a device that dispels any low-level magic going down the pit. Feather Fall or Spider Climb, the two obvious spells to use there, would switch off. 

Xerses also makes a request. There's a portrait of Swifty von Rex, made by the same artist that painted the one of Dorr Poodle that hangs in the Royal Pioneer's Guild. He suspects that the portrait is in the hidey-hole, and asks to have it if the dogs find it. He wants to return it to the Monarchies. They agree, and reunite with the others.

The dogs gear up and head for the resort. Pumly once again descends into the caverns with them. They spend some time thinking about how best to descend (how do all of them do it? How will they get back up?), and with a little experimentation, determine that the ring only works on the wearer. Anyone else is dead weight. 

Finally, Petunia screws up her courage and jumps. She floats to the ground and lights a torch, and finds herself in an alcove leading to a circular room full of stuff. The "stuff" is various boxes, books, and objet d'arte; Petunia is thrilled, but does need to figure out how to get the others down. She finds a small hole in the wall in the alcove, too perfectly round to be natural. She slips the ring into it and a lid slips over the hole. There's a whoosing noise and the noise is sucked up a tube, and drops into the hallway next to the pit.

The dogs descend, one after another, and start exploring. Dire finds a locked box and, unable to pick the lock, rips off the lid. Inside, he finds a circlet with an opal set into it, and slips it into a pocket in his cloak. "Weird to have a lock on an empty box," he says aloud.

Meanwhile, Peppa is the last one at the top of the pit. She tries to work up the courage to jump, but she's having trouble. But then behind her, she hears a weird scraping sound. She calls up a Shield of Faith and hides in a corner, and sees something horrible coming toward her. It's a mass of metallic tentacles or cables, slithering along the ground, giving off sparks. The creature ignores her entirely and slips down the pit. She overcomes her fear (or rather transfers it) and jumps in, but it's taking time to fall and the creature moves much faster.

At the bottom, the creature emerges from the shaft and makes a beeline for Dire. Boomer sees his friend in peril and hurls his ax at the thing. It hits, but the creature keeps going and tries to entangle Dire. Dire, fortunately, is very strong and the monster can't gain purchase. Petunia casts a Web spell at it, but can't seem to entangle it, and switches to Acid Arrow. Dire and Boomer attack it with their respective huge weapons, and although it manages to beat up Dire pretty good, they hack it to pieces. 

The dogs ask Dire if he has any idea why it went straight for him. Dire lies and says no, but Peppa sees through this BS and demands he fess up. Dire finally relents and hands over the circlet, and Pumly reminds him that anything they find down here is property of Talina Poodle. 

The dogs figure that the tentacle-creature must have been the one that killed Fliss von Korat. Maybe he stole something, or inadvertently activated a guardian? They need to figure it out, but they also need to get back up the shaft. They search the room more carefully, and they find several items of interest. They find the portrait that Xerses asked about, and convince Pumly to let them take it without telling Talina (Pumly mentions that Talina is most interested in increasing her social standing, and a portrait of a cat won't do that). They find a hat and a ring, both magical, and Peppa finds a small box with six squishy cubes wrapped in parchment, each only the size of a dice. They're pink and smell sweet, faintly of sarsaparilla. Petunia identifies them as "fixes," one-use magic items. 

There's no obvious way back up, though, so they theorize that the fixes are probably it. They give one to Dire, who's always eager to experiment, and he chews it up. Weirdly, it remains chewy indefinitely, but it also activates the Spider Climb spell and allows him to climb up the shaft. The others follow, strapping the painting to Boomer's back. Pumly takes the magic items, including the circlet. 

Once at the top, Dire leans in to Pumly and snarls at him to keep "certain things" that happened down there to himself. Pumly nods, scared, and the others don't notice. They're busy looking at the tracks that the creature left. They follow the tracks back to a hole in the wall, much too small for a dog, but the creature could have use it. The hole stays small for a bit and then opens up, but Pumly says that there are a lot of unexplored tunnels here. The dogs advise him to keep people out of this area and plug up this hole.

Peppa asks if perhaps the magic items might be housed at the Guild, but still be "owned" by Talina, if all she wants is the glory. Pumly says that he will put that to Talina and offer his advice to her, and promises to send word in a couple of days. 

The characters get some rest, and spend the next few days in their own pursuits. Peppa and Boomer study the religion of cats, talking with some of the felines of Riverwall and looking for intersections with their own faith. Dire takes pieces of the creature and shows them to blacksmiths; he eventually wants to work them into irom...or reanimate them into a servant? Sausagedog, inspired by the feeling of weightlessness, starts working on gymnastics and aerial combat. 

Petunia goes back to Xerses and explains what happened. She actually was wearing the Master's Eye, and so shows him what she saw. When the battle with the creature starts, Xerses flings the device off in fear, and identifies it as "the etherkesh!"

After he calms down, he explains. The etherkesh is a servant of a much more powerful and evil creature called the nagayaga. The nagayaga is, according to legend, a cat that made a bargain with a horrible Unseen power to become half cat, half snake. It was after the circlet, which Xerses also identifies. It was created around the start of the War by a cat named Opaline von Korat, and the circlet is simply known as "the Opaline." The history isn't clear on what it does (something involving spycraft?). Xerses shows Petunia a picture of Opaline von Korat, and Petunia notes a strong resemblance to Fliss. Perhaps Fliss was a descendant, and his mere presence was enough to activate the Opaline? 

Xerses warns Petunia to be very careful. The nagayaga is dangerous and evil, and it apparently wants the Opaline. Petunia thanks him and informs the others, and notes that they haven't heard anything from Talina - is everything OK?

They go to the resort, but it seems up and running. When they enter, though, the receptionist dog looks nervous and summons Pumly. Pumly informs them that Talina has decided to keep everything found in the caverns, and that they are not to be granted access to the items or entrance to the grounds. Pumly isn't explicit about why, but it's clear that Dire's attempted theft, along with his criminal connections (which Pumly has now investigated), are a big part of it.

Petunia asks Pumly if they can sit down and talk about this - Talina is in danger and they have information that Pumly should hear. Pumly agrees, hesitantly, and says he'll meet them at Hunter's Haven. They go on ahead, and Dire complains that he's left the criminal life behind. The others point out, though, that he's still stealing on a regular basis and that the distinction between criminal and former criminal might be lost on someone like Pumly.

The dogs arrive at Hunter's Haven, a famous inn in Southgate, and reserve a private room to have lunch and meet with Pumly. We shall pick it up there next time!

Thursday, September 1, 2022

Movie #691: Shrek 2

Shrek 2 is, doy, the first sequel to Shrek, and stars Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Rupert Everett, Jennifer Saunders, and Antonio Banderas. 

Shrek (Myers) and Fiona (Diaz) get back from their honeymoon and are promptly summoned to the kingdom of Far Far Away by Lillian (Andrews) and Harold (Cleese), who understandably want an explanation as to why their daughter has gone full-time with this whole ogre thing. Shrek isn't keen; he rightly assumes that Fiona's parents won't be thrilled and in his world "not thrilled" usually comes directly before "torches and pitchforks." But they bundle up their chatty companion Donkey (Murphy) and head out.

Turns out, though, that the king promised Fiona in marriage to Prince Charming (Everett), the self-absorbed and glamorous son of the famous Fairy Godmother (Saunders). Saunders is quite willing to play dirty to get her son on the throne, and Harold, not wishing to see his own happy-ever-after spell revoked, hires the notorious hit man Puss n' Boots (Banderas) to kill Shrek. This...does not work, but Shrek winds up providing his own antagonism by turning himself and Fiona human and having to get back to her before midnight!

Shrek 2 is one of those sequels that isn't as strong as the first movie, but works well because the first movie established the world and the characters. I think it leans a little heavily on the pop culture references, and it's always bothered me that Puss is supposed to be this badass but he's never any real threat to Shrek. But it has so many little throwaways that do work, and I think the best of them are created for the movie. The soundtrack, likewise, is just as good or better than the first one (Tom Waits wrote "A Little Drop of Poison" for Captain Hook to be singing at the Poison Apple, f'rex, and of course Butterfly Boucher's cover of "Changes" is amazing). 

So far, so good, as far as the movies holding up. Let's see, however, if that continues...

My Grade: A-
Rewatch Value: High

Next up: Shrek the Third

Character Creation: Troika!

Not a game you should read while tired. Or absolutely the right game to read while tired, I dunno.

The Game: Troika!
The Publisher: The Melsonian Arts Council
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

I'd heard this game mentioned here and there but never heard anything about it and the title doesn't exactly convey much information, so I gave it a miss. And then the Numinous Edition turned up in a bundle, and I backed a game called Bones Deep on Kickstarter. Said game is about being a skeleton that hatches and goes for adventures on the bottom of the ocean, which is not only delightfully weird but scratches a particular itch for me (to wit, sea exploration games, thanks very much Subnautica). 

Anyway, Bones Deep is a Troika! offshoot, and my friend Gus thought they might run it, so I figured I should take a look at the source game. And it's fuckin' weird, and I mean that in a good way. There's a sample scenario that involves riding an elevator in a hotel. It reminds me of Toon on mescaline. The game doesn't have a setting as such, or rather it does, but it's all revealed by the spell and other lists rather than in an actual setting chapter. In practice, I suspect that would mean a lot of group improvisation, which is fine if you've got a group that's down for this particular brand of surreal. 

It's not the most accessible game in the world, I guess? But it reminds me of Nobilis in some ways, in that you kinda just have to trust it and go with it, and I'm game for that. I think, though, that Bones Deep sounds more appealing to me than the base game, but then, oceans.

So let's make a character for this bunch of bananas. Much of this is random. First we roll 1d3+3 to determine Skill (not Skills, but a trait called Skill, which is both a great idea and a little brain-fucky to anyone who's played RPGs for a long time). Anyway, I rolled a 6, which gives me 9.

2d6+12 to determine Stamina: 20.

1d6+6 to determine Luck: 10

Baseline possessions: 10 silver pence, a knife, a lantern and flask of oil, a rucksack, 6 provisions.

And now we roll background! This is a d66. 32 gives me...

Believe it not that's actually one of the tamer backgrounds. Amusingly, I've been finishing off Deathloop recently, which is also about bizarre assassins. 

That's basically it, though. We'll say my Journeyman's name is Wild Bym. Wild Bym, so called because his assassination method has been "get next to target and flail wildly with one or more bladed objects," was recently given a license even though his examiners hate the chaos he brings to the profession (but like, his targets are dead, so it's not like his methods don't work). Bym dresses in the black clothes required of the apprentice, but all different shades of black (yes it does, shut up). He carries poison but he's not really interested in using it, unless it's the sort of thing you can mush into someone's face. Bym has a beard that's not quite as long and wooly as he'd like (yet!), one blue eye and one green one, and a prominent lump on his forehead where he got hit with a sword and the tip lodged. 

I...think that'll do it. 


Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Movie #690: Shrek

Shrek is, of course, an animated comedy starring Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow, and Eddie Murphy.

The titular Shrek (Myers) is an ogre who just wants to live in his swamp and eat his rather slimy delicacies, but then a whole horde of fairytale creatures shows up, having been evicted from their own digs by the diminutive and order-obsessed Lord Farquad (Lithgow). Shrek goes to confront him, taking along a talking donkey (Murphy) as a guide/sidekick (guidekick?), but Farquad makes the ogre a deal - go fetch Princess Fiona (Diaz), who has been locked in a tower and is guarded by a dragon, and Farquad will get rid of the creatures and give Shrek his swamp free and clear.

What follows is a quest not only to rescue Fiona from the dragon, but for Shrek to open up and admit that he actually does need company and maybe even love, even as the he (very rightly) points out that other people panic upon seeing an ogre. And of course Donkey falls for the Dragon, Fiona becomes an ogre, all is right with the world.

Weird little movie, this. It's the first winner of the Animated Feature Oscar, it was nominated for Adapted Screenplay, and it premiered at Cannes in 2001. It's a movie about an ogre who farts hard enough to kill fish. Odd? Yeah, but audiences really responded to the somewhat darker humor, the soundtrack including some oddball choices (I remember seeing it in theaters and thinking "ooh, an Eels song, either 'My Beloved Monster' or 'Beautiful Freak', would be perfect and lo and behold), and the spins on the typical Disneyfied fairy tales. The voice cast is on point, and it would be interesting to see the alternate universe version where Chris Farley survived to complete the movie. 

It's remarkable how iconically Millennial the movie has become (that is to say, it's become a whole meme), summed up, IMO, by Shrek kicking open his outhouse door as "All Star" starts up. A lot of moments in the movie have become recognizable or even cliche (the use of "Hallelujah" in movies wasn't really a thing pre-Shrek), and the animation and the story hold up just fine, even 20 years later. 

The sequels, well...we'll see.

My Grade: A
Rewatch Value: High

Next up: Shrek 2