Character Creation: Webworld

From the world of the theater, we turn to the world of dental hygiene. No, spiders.

The Game: Webworld
The Publisher: NeonRot
Degree of Familiarity: None, and although I'd really like to run this, I suspect it'd be difficult to find players
Books Required: Just the one

Webworld is a very short RPG, but it's got everything it needs. In brief: The world has been overrun by giant spiders, and the survivors are trying to...well, survive. There's a sample setting involving an underground settlement called Hope that has people trying to build a vehicle that will survive spider attacks long enough to get north to colder climes, where the spiders can't follow (allegedly) but honestly, it'd be just as interesting to develop one's own survivor colony and go from there.

The game is simple and pretty unforgiving. You've got a pool of d8s. When you roll, you decide how many to "exert" and then you add 'em all up and add any relevant skills. If you beat a 7, you get one of your dice back. If you fail (that is, 6 or lower), you don't. The WW (World-Weaver) can give you a die back for good roleplaying, and you get your dice back when you rest, but it seems like it would be pretty easy to run through them in play. 

And that, of course, is the point - you have to be careful not to let the spiders get too close, because they will eat you (or worse, take you back to their nest and make you a Host). There's no combat in the game, which I really like - it's not about beating the spiders, it's about getting around or away from them.

The book could really have used an editor, just for purposes of language clarification. Lots of passive voice and sentences that aren't terribly clear. That said, I was able to figure everything out, so it's by no means a deal-breaker. The only other nit I have to pick is that the character sheet is pretty ink-intensive to print. 

Right, so! Chargen takes all of a minute. First off, I choose a class. 

Hmm. I like the Scout, and I like the Firestarter. I think I'll go with Firestarter, actually. I get to choose one ability from the class list, and I'll pick Sticky Bombs. I can blow up a Host (those gross zombie-people full of spider eggs) without the spiders escaping. It does damage to everyone else in the area, of course, but 1 damage is better than "eaten by spiders." 

Carl Brown was a high school chemistry teacher at St. Agnes School for Girls. His life was far from perfect - he needed to keep his sexuality under wraps, and his husband wasn't thrilled about that - but beyond that, things were OK. He was at the school when the first wave of spiders hit, and he does not talk about what he saw that day. Ever.

Suffice to say, Carl lost most of his friends and most of his students, and his husband didn't survive the first wave, either. He's spent the time since learning how to make small, effective explosives - you don't want anything too boomy because it attracts spiders, but the smallest ones work just fine on Hosts. 

Carl is pretty much in permanent "goofy teacher" mode these days. Everything is a joke, preferably a dad joke. Some people who lost loved ones (which is everyone) get grim and gritty and grizzled about it, but Carl stays light and pleasant. It's an act. Carl is 100% ready to blow himself up and take a Host with him, he just hasn't done it yet. 

Carl is in his early 40s, thinning brown hair (getting pretty shaggy in the back, now). His beard basically doesn't grow in. His eyes are blue and dead. He used to be a little on the pudgy side, but he's lost all that puppy fat and is now bordering on skinny. He still wears his wedding ring, but he's wrapped it in yarn so it fits, just like the girls at his school used to do with their boyfriends' class rings. 

That'll do it!

Character Creation: Altais: Age of Ruin

In this game, you can have a pet furry slug, and I think that really says it all. 

The Game: Altais: Age of Ruin
The Publisher: Parhelia Games
Degree of Familiarity: Haven't run it, but I just might have to!
Books Required: Just the one

I got this game in a bundle a couple of years ago, and it's been a game I've glanced at when picking games for this project, seen that it's a 400-page fantasy game, made a groany sort of noise, and kept looking. I believe this is called, in the parlance of the young folks, "sleeping" on the game, and I'm glad I finally read it, 'cause it's really good. 

Fantasy games and I have a somewhat contentious relationship. I'm warming to fantasy as a genre quite a bit (I mean, of the five games I'm running at present, three of them are fantasy and one of them is actually a 5e derivative OMG WHO AM I), but it's not something I glom onto as easily as horror or superheroes. A fantasy game needs something to hook me: Atlantis has its larger-than-life atmosphere and its focus on telling a hero's legend. Cairn has the focus on the town and keeping it thriving. Pugmire has dogs.

Altais: Age of Ruin manages something that very few fantasy games do for me: It just hooked me. The writing is solid, the history is exactly as expansive as it needs to be without drowning me in meaningless bullshit, and in fact, although the history of the world of Altais spans millennia, even the ancient history provides context meaningful to running the game. Also, the various cultures are presented in such a way that they have some familiar notes, but aren't just carbon copies of real-world cultures. The sections on the Kingdoms are well-written enough that I actually took a few extra days to read through them all, which very rarely happens.

Altais reminds me in some ways of Desolation, inasmuch as there was a cataclysm and magic was probably involved, and now has a stigma attached. But the game also describes things like the languages, flora, and fauna of the various civilizations, and the result is that they feel like real places with real issues, and not just tourist destinations for murderhobos. 

Anydangway, let's make a character. 

Step One: Character Concept and Background. Oof. This game hella passes the Chupp test, because thinking about it I'm torn between a mage of some stripe (which carries its own issues because magic is stigmatized), one of those dope-ass assassins, one of those other dope-ass assassins....you know, I think I'll look at the list of Backgrounds and see what catches my eye today.

OK, I really like the Kingdom of Serpents - a vast jungle/marsh with a crazy amount of dangerous wildlife. I especially dig this Kingdom because of their take on family and gender; basically all families are created families, you join a household with five other people, and "gender" is entirely divorced from physical sex. If I were running Altais, I would almost certainly set the game in this Kingdom.

Anyway, one of the options for character background is a Serpent Keeper or "Katesh." They swim with the giant serpents and deadly eels of the Kingdom and make medicines and so on; they're kind of part swamp witch, part priest, part apothecary. Ignoring the fact that if I were playing one, I'd have to refrain from saying "GET OUT OF MY SWAMP, YOU KIDS!" too often, I think they're pretty cool. 

GET OUT OF MY SWAMP, YOU KIDS!

 OK, so. As a Katesh, I get this stuff:

In addition to that, I get Swims with Serpents (wildlife doesn't attack me), Poison Resistant (duh), and Karifi Familiar. I get a motherfucking eel as a familiar. 

WHO'S A GOOD EEL. YOU ARE. YES YOU ARE.

So that's awesome. I should probably think about concept a little bit, so I'm gonna go reread the relevant bits of the Kingdom of Serpents section.

OK, cool. So as a Katesh, the gender of my character is "tatra", and the pronouns are ta/tas. Katesh are part of the Akubesh (the priesthood), meaning they're regarded fairly highly. I think my character is very much a country vicar kind of person; ta would rather tend to tas eels and harvest fungus and so forth. The bloodier parts of being a Katesh are an unpleasant reality (sometimes you just gotta sacrifice something or someone for the good of the people), but ta would much rather give people a nice cup of tea and talk them through the tougher times. And then figure out who gets sacrificed. 

Not sure about names yet; I'll deal with that later. 

Step Two: Attributes. I have one point in each of the five Attributes, and I get 5 more points to distribute. 1-2 is average, 3 is above average, and 3 is also my maximum. Let's see. Mind or Focus are my recommended Attributes, though I kinda want Charisma not to be too low. Not that I have a buttload of points to work with. Let's put two points into Charisma and Mind, one into Focus, and leave Strength and Agility at 1. 

Step Three: Skills. I start with Rank 1 in the five Skills listed in my Background (Animal Handling, Medicine, Perception, Survival, Swim), so that was easy. 

Step Four: Talents. Talents have ranks like Skills, but they do different things at each rank. I start with Rank 1 in Apothecary and The Swamp's Ire, and then I can bump one of those to rank 2, or I can pick a third Talent at rank 1. The difference is that if I pick another Talent during chargen it becomes an Affinity Talent and I could raise it more easily during play. Well, let's take a look at these.

Hrm. The Swamp's Ire is definitely dope, but it's also a little more hostile than I picture this tatra being. Which is fine, just means if I were playing ta I might not increase it much. I do kinda like Arcane Defense, though. Technically the prerequisite is Focus 3, but I don't need to worry about that during chargen. I'll take rank 1 there.

Step Five: Advantages. I wrote these down already. I also speak Kamash (the language of the Kingdom of Serpents) and Aroji (the closest thing to a common tongue) fluently, but I don't read them since I don't have anything in Academics. 

Step Six: Creation Experience. Starting characters aren't greenhorns, I get 30 XP to throw around, which I freaking adore. Let's see here. I can't go higher than 3 in an Attribute, 2 in a Skill, and I can only increase a Talent by one rank. 

Well, I'd like to bump Focus up to 3, which would cost me 8 XP. Buying an existing Skill to 2 is 4 points, and I'd like to buy up Survival, Medicine, and Animal Handling. That's 20 spent, 10 left. I want to buy Social to 2, which is 6 points. 4 left. I'll buy a rank of Veilsense (allowing me to sense magic) and a rank of Intimidation (since it figures in to The Swamp's Ire a lot). 

Lack of combat skill worries me a little, but again, country vicar. Probably I'd wind up buying it pretty quick in a campaign.

Step Seven: Secondary Attributes. Hey, lookit that, at the end where they belong. 

Valor (with an unnecessary "u" in the book) starts at 1, 30 Health (20 + [Str x 5] + [Valor x 5]), 6 Stamina (3 + Focus), 4 Speed, 1 Initiative (low Agility), and Defense (with an unnecessary "c" in the book) is 7 (again, low Agility). 

Step Eight: Buy Equipment. I start with three applications of Healing Salve, a Traveler's Kit, and 20 dema (the currency of the kingdom). Ooh, a Traveler's Kit involves some choices! I get common clothing, boots, and a belt, and then I get to pick 10 items off some lists. I'll take a game of sixes, some body paints (both common to my kingdom), a small knife, some cheap wine, three days of rations, a backpack, a waterskin, and a ceramic bottle (transport for my eel).

I could spend my dema on more stuff, but I think I'm good. Just need a name and stuff, then. Names in Kamash sound vaguely Egyptian, I guess. We'll say tas name is Khrihen.

Khrihen came from a tukufi of priests; three of tas parents were Kamash, and two of them were other forms of Akubesh. Ta learned to swim with serpents at a very young age and one of tas parents hoped that ta would grow up to be a warrior or mage, but Khrihen was happy diving into the swamp for roots and communing with the eels. Ta joined a tufuki that was setting up in a only recently inhabited part of the Kingdom (shifting flood waters had just made it livable), and ta was part of a compromise - the area needed a Katesh, and Khrihen needed a tufuki. Khrihen hasn't really bonded with any of the members of tas household yet, but then, ta takes some time to really get to know.

Khrihen is a little on the plump side. Ta isn't a strong swimmer; very much at home in the water but not a lot of stamina. Ta is, however, pretty skilled at putting together poultices and reading the swamp, which means ta is a perfectly serviceable Katesh. There are other members of the village, though, that feel like Khrihen is just a little too soft, too much talking and not enough scary swamp witch action. That political shift might be what makes ta a wanderer in a campaign, or ta might just decide tas bored. 

That'll do it!

Atlantis: Lighting Birbs

And here we are in the land of Khem once again!

Our heroes ride 'cross the desert on their newly acquired dan ida hwedo (riding lizards). They cross the mighty river, using Thanos' magic to create a raft, and approach the foothills of the mountains in the east. They're all feeling a little fatigued as the desert gives way to plains - they've had to feed Eithne's sanguinary hunger, and they've taken turns. 

As they ride into the plains, they find themselves near fields of wheat and barley. A young man tilling the soil looks up and spots them, but when he sees Akala, he panics and runs east toward a nearby village. This is somewhat disquieting, and the heroes wonder if these people might own (or be) slaves. 

When they get into the village, though, that doesn't seem to be the case. The villagers are hiding in their huts, and Imani and Eithne can hear odd whispers: "She's an owl, not a falcon!" "It doesn't make a difference!" Akala talks to them and someone yells back at her, telling the characters to ride on and leave them be. 

They manage to calm things down enough that an old man, a village elder, probably, emerges from a hut and approaches them. He introduces himself as Amenemhet, and he listens as Eithne explains that they're here to obtain the egg of a Lightning Bird - by force if necessary. Amenemhet brightens at this, and turns to the village, yelling that these heroes are here to fight the Impundulu! ("We didn't say that," murmurs Akala.) The village is suddenly much more welcoming, and Amenemhet invites them to sit and have some bread and butter while their mounts are tended to.

Amenemhet tells them, over their repast, that the village is called Nehebu. A generation ago, though, it was called Edfu, and was located further up in the foothills. They were falconers and goatherds, and were safe and happy, but then one night the Lightning Birds attacked. They swooped down out of the mountains, killed the falconers, spit lightning and drove all the villagers down the mountain to the plains. Since then, the villagers have been a little salty at birds.

The heroes ask if the Impundulu have attacked since, and are told that they haven't. The village has a couple of watchtowers at the eastern edge to watch for rockslides and Lightning Birds, just in case.

The other village elders, Yamanu and Neith, meet the characters and tell them that they can trade for some provisions and rope, and they'll let them sleep in the village for the night (outside, though; they don't really have space to spare). Yamanu tells them that if they ride out at dawn and take the trail to the east, between the watchtowers, by the time the sun is no longer in their eyes, they'll be at the ruins of Edfu.

Thanos asks if there's anything in the ruins that the villagers would like brought back to them, and the elders, touched by this concern, tell him the story of a rock at the center of the village. The rock was struck by lightning multiple times on the night the Birds attacked, but never broke or even charred. It's symbolic more than anything, but it would mean a lot to the village if the heroes could bring it down. Thanos says he'll try, if the rock is moveable. 

The next morning, the heroes mount their lizards and head out. As promised, about the time the sunlight no longer shines in their eyes, they start seeing the dilapidated buildings of Edfu. Akala takes the air, while Thanos sniffs about with Thanatos and Eithne searches for magic.

Thanos can smell no human inhabitants, but does smell goats and other wildlife. Akala spots a nest atop the tallest still-standing building here, a nest big enough for a man. Eithne senses magic in one of the buildings, magic powerful enough to belong to a spellcaster. She climbs up to join Akala, and they find black feathers in the nest. The feathers carry a static zap - Akala opines that they seem to have found a Lightning Bird's nest.

Meanwhile, a young man approaches Imani. He introduces himself as Heru, and explains that he was traveling near here when a storm blew up. He slipped and fell, and injured his shoulder, and was hiding out in the village while he healed. Imani examines his shoulder and finds it uninjured, so he's apparently about ready to move on. He offers to show her the most intact remnants of the culture that lived her, and she agrees.

He shows her to a building that was once a tannery. There are tools and goat bones, but nothing else of interest. He also tries to direct her attention behind her, but Imani is a seasoned warrior and too clever for such tricks. She talks with him about the Lightning Birds, and he claims he's never heard of them. Imani doesn't notice, however, when he refers to them as "Impundulu"...

The other characters regroup and are immediately suspicious of Heru - they were told, after all, that the Lightning Birds are capable of speaking and using magic. Eithne asks if Heru can, in fact, cast, and he says that his aunt was a witch and taught him a little. Eithne asks if he'll demonstrate (he claims to be trying to make stone softer, but being unable to quite get it), and he casts, but calls up a violent thunderstorm. The characters take shelter with their lizards, and Heru, sensing that the room is turning against him, says that he'll be on his way and runs into the rain. 

The heroes figure that Heru is probably a Lightning Bird, or in some other way shady, and don't really want to wait until dark to keep moving. Eithne calls on her magic and brings the storm down to the a drizzle, and the four of them start hiking up the mountain. Eithne turns herself into a goat, while Thanos casts a spell and rips his own back open and grows huge bat-like wings. The kongamato he summoned carries Imani (with some effort), and the four of them ascend.

Thanos and Akala reach the Lightning Birds first. Several of them sit in nests built into the crags, and Akala recognizes Heru, now in his truth form. The Lightning Birds open their mouths to spit lightning, but Akala asks to bargain and their leader, Heru's mother, agrees. 

Eithne and Imani catch up, and Eithne explains that she's been cursed and has been told that an Impundulu egg will cure it. The Lightning Bird queen is skeptical that what she's describing is a "curse" - the Birds feed on living blood, too, and it's fine. Eithne says that she doesn't want to be like that, and asks if there is something the heroes can do to get an egg. They're known as slave-breakers and liberators, and also warriors and heroes - surely there's something the Birds need?

The queen responds that since they want to fix something that isn't really broken, she's hesitant, but perhaps if the heroes finish the job that the Lightning Birds started some years ago and kill everyone in Nehebu?

The heroes refuse, of course, and are somewhat outraged by the suggestion. Thanos, in particular, points out that they wouldn't be very heroic if they killed helpless people. The queen shrugs, and says that they could just kill the "snakes" instead. The heroes ask her to clarify, and she says that in the village of Nehebu, there's an Ahl-at-Rab and a budding Set worshiper. Kill those two, and they get their egg.

The heroes agree (none of them are fond of Ahl-at-Rab or snakes in general), and start off down the mountain. They all wonder, however, what the villagers, who saw them as heroes setting off to avenge the dead of Edfu, are going to think of this development.

Movie #682: She's the Man

She's the Man is a comedy inspired by Twelfth Night, and starring Amanda Bynes, Channing Tatum, Laura Ramsey, Alex Breckenridge, Robert Hoffman, Jonathan Sadowski, Brandon Jay McLaren, James Snyder, Julie Hagerty, Vinnie Jones, and David Cross. 

Viola (Bynes) is a high school senior who loves soccer and is working on pursuing it as a career. But then her school's team is cut due to lack of participation, and the boy's coach (Robert Torti) refuses to let her try out for the boy's team because girls are just scientifically less athletic. 

Viola, upon learning that her twin brother Sebastian (James Kirk) is going to sneak away to London for the first couple weeks of school, decides to enroll at his high school (he's been kicked out of the one she attends), get on the soccer team, and when the big rival game between the high schools happens, she'll dazzle all of the scouts with her skillz!

Now, that's not a very well thought-out plan, but on we go. She recruits her hairdresser Paul (Sadowski) to fit her for a wig and sideburns so she can pass as her brother, learns to bind, and enrolls at Illyria High School. She winds up rooming with Duke Orsino (Tatum), and his two buddies Andy (Clifton MacCabe Murray) and Toby (McLaren). From there, it's just nonstop shenanigans as Viola tries to navigate being a dude, playing soccer, being a student, discovering that Olivia (Ramsey), on whom Duke is crushing, is crushing on her, and then winds up snogging Duke during a brief stint as her real self and falling for him.

This all ends up at the soccer match, Sebastian returns from London, shows his dick to the stands, and then Viola winds up playing for Illyria as a girl (because Illyria doesn't discriminate based on gender, as the terrifying Coach Dinklage (Jones) explains), and happy ending kisses abound.

So, I'm actually very familiar with Twelfth Night - I stage managed a production back in Toledo and I've seen a bunch of different productions over the years. And the folks who adapted it certainly did know the names of the characters and their basic roles - the slimy teacher's pet Malcolm (Snyder) has a pet spider called Malvolio, just in case we were unclear as to his part in all this. But the movie misses the mark almost entirely about the relationships in this story about relationships.

For example, in the play, Viola doesn't disguise herself as a boy because she's trying to prove a point or gain some benefit for herself, she does it because she's shipwrecked, she assumes her brother is dead, and (though this isn't stated) she feels that she'll be safer that way. The relationship shenanigans don't stem from OMG GIRL DRESSED AS BOY, they stem from the fact the Viola, as Sebastian, endears herself to a man who is (he thinks) in love with someone else, and that person is, in turn, in mourning and not feeling the woo, as it were.

And none of this is impossible in a modern-day, high school interpretation of the play, but instead, we get Amanda Bynes mugging for the camera and coming off like she's never interacted with a boy in her life. And that's without even getting into the borderline transphobia (I say "borderline" because that wasn't even something that would have been considered in the mid-aughts when this movie came out). 

Anyway, there are a couple of funny bits and David Cross is amusing as the cringingly earnest Principal Gold, and of course it's fun to watch Vinnie Jones as a soccer coach. But really, it's pretty forgettable. 

My Grade: D-
Rewatch Value: IINSIAIFWT

Next up: The Shining

Character Creation: Xas Irkalla

On we go!

The Game: Xas Irkalla
The Publisher: Atramentis Games
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

I got this game in a bundle...hell, I don't know when. Up until now, I only really noticed it when re-organizing my PDFs, mainly in the context of "huh, not a lot of games that start with X." But then I finally read it, and...huh. 

It's all written and illustrated by one person, which, if nothing else, is a pretty solid way to get the game you want. And the game knows what the hell it wants to be, definitely. The art style is somewhat reminiscent of Stephen Gammell, and the whole thing just drips atmosphere. Reading the system, I don't immediately hate it, which probably means it would work OK at the table (but as I've said before, the real test of "at the table" is at the table).

Which brings us to this: Is this a game I could run? I think so, and I think with the right group it would be a lot of "fun" (like, it would be a good experience, not a rollicking good time). I don't know that I have the right group at the moment, because a lot of my friends are pretty bruised right now just because of the state of the world, so a game in which you wake up naked in a stone sarcophagus and things just get worse from there might not be where they want to go. Maybe someday.

In any case, let's make a character. This involves rolling dice, which is always fun for chargen. 

As I said, the game typically starts with all the characters waking up in stone caskets. This is because they are "Endlings," brought to Irkalla when a psychic being dies and links with them...it's all very weird and more than a little meta (no wonder I dig it). Characters aren't necessarily human; they can be whatever kinds of alien beings make the player happy. Background and so forth, though, are rolled on tables, so let's start there.

First roll is for sentiment, what the character is passionate about. A roll of 1 gets me "warfare." OK, then. I get "warfare" as a rank 1 specialty. 

Next roll is for environment, which is the type of biome I'm from. Another 1, good thing I'm not actually playing this game or I'd be racking up Stress like whoa. Anyway, the roll gives me "wasteland," which I'm fine with. That, too, becomes a rank-1 specialty. 

Ooh, now things get interesting. Next roll is for past, how my character grew up (or came up, or whatever). I rolled "cultured," meaning I've explored many cultures and learned how it interact with strangers. Interesting twist for a warrior from the wastelands.

People is the type of society I'm from. And just to keep things from getting too clear-cut, I rolled a 10 for "industrious". My people were productive and hard-working.  

And finally, identity is my natural calling. I roll a 9, for "hunter, assassin, naturalist, or explorer." Hmm. 

Well, let's say "explorer." I think it fits with the idea that he's gone through a bunch of different cultures, and if he's passionate about warfare, it might just be that he's from a culture in this alien wasteland that doesn't do war - they dug themselves into a mountain like Helm's Deep and don't really interact with the violent jerks outside. 

Next up, details! Physical features gives me "scars," which feels appropriate. Fashion preference gives me "simple." Sure, I'll buy it (mind, in a typical game of Xas Irkalla I'd start nekkid, so it is just a preference). Technology...ooh, this is cool. While Irkalla might have relatively low tech, the characters can be from any other world, including civilizations with high tech. Let's see! Nope, "classical", so basically bronze age. 

Next bit is "aberrant traits." I can take mutations that give me benefits, but it raises my Doom level. In play, when you roll a critical failure (which isn't especially hard), you roll on your Doom level (it's a percentile roll) and if you fail, you die. So it's in your interest to keep your Doom level nice and low. But, with that said, maybe there's a trait I really love?

I do kinda like Adaptive Resilience. It's simple, but it makes sense for my explorer character. I'll take two levels, why not. That boosts my Doom to 20 (and my minimum Doom to 20, so whenever I make a Doom check I have a minimum 20% chance of kicking the proverbial bucket).

And like...that seems to be it. Most of the character sheet is for tracking injury (this game is all about survival and it's pretty granular), but on the assumption that I'd start naked in the doom-drawer, I wouldn't have any of that stuff. 

So, who is this guy? His name is Angur. He's from a city-state known as "the Deeps"; there's an immense wall on one side and natural borders on all others. They farm nut-bearing trees, goats, and other things that they can make work at high altitudes, and don't let outsiders in except in truly extraordinary circumstances. Anyone can leave, but if you leave you're an outsider. 

When Angur was a lad, a neighboring country tried to siege the Deeps. It didn't work; they couldn't get in. Angur heard some of the old folks talking about a siege that was successful many years ago, and that got Angur thinking that maybe it would smart to figure out how that worked. He eventually left the city and wandered the wastelands, and discovered that most of the other civilizations were at least somewhat more welcoming of strangers than the Deeps (their eyes aren't as close together, either - maybe new blood occasionally is good?). 

All of this ceased to matter, of course, because Angur fell asleep in a cave one night and woke up naked in Irkalla, so sucks to be him. Angur is a young man (maybe mid 20s?), worn and weathered and callused, but used to surviving in tough environments. That will not help him if he gets stabbed, of course, and he's better able to understand theory of warfare than direct fighting, but y'know, he might be a fast learner. I picture him with a mop of tangled brown hair and grey-hazel eyes, and scars on his hands and forearms (defensive wounds).

And that'll do it. 

Character Creation: Shiver

Perhaps by making a character for this game, I will get this song out of my head. 

The Game: Shiver
The Publisher: Parable Games
Degree of Familiarity: None with this game, but I'm pretty conversant with horror TTRPGs
Books Required: Just the one

You know, I wanted to like this game. The production values are solid, and like, it's horror, and horror games have a very special place in my heart. It starts out with an introduction that makes it clear we're taking inspiration from horror movies and the mechanics incorporate a "ticking clock" - certain acts add to the doom meter or whatever and as it advances, the situation gets progressively more dire. All good things.

But then...I dunno. First of all, it uses proprietary dice. They're six- and eight-siders, so it wouldn't be impossible or even especially difficult to use normal dice and assign results to the numbers (this is mentioned in the book), but like...why? The idea is that every face on the d6 corresponds to one of the stats in the game, so if you're rolling on Grit, the dice need to come up "Grit" to succeed (there are other permutations and variables, but that's the gist). But that means if, on a standard die, "1" = "Grit," I have to rolls 1st to succeed. That's a 1-in-six chance to succeed unless there are other mitigating factors. That...kinda sucks. 

(Now, I hasten to add at this point that I haven't played the game, and the real test of whether a system works is at the table, but reading the system immediately made me think of how annoying it would be at said table to remember that "2" has no numerical value but instead means "Heart" or whatever, and how long it would take both me and my players to internalize that, and all the while we'd be thinking "why aren't we just playing Chill or something?")

The other issue is that the game uses classes and levels. None of that is a deal-breaker, it has just been my experience that those game conceits often don't translate well to horror. 

But, with all that said, the book looks really stylish (even though it's some mutant size that doesn't fit on my shelf), and the game definitely has some solid support, so that's good. So let's make a character. 

There's not a default setting, but there's a sample one in the book that's very reminiscent of Resident Evil (the movie, at least), so I'll use that. 

So, that means that my character works for Cornwell Consolidated, at the Hollow, their vast underground facility. Specifically, he works in "Rock Bottom," the place where careers go to die, according to the intro text. Groovy. So let's take inspiration from Willard and say that my character's grandfather was a close friend of the Cornwell family, and indeed, lent Cornwell some of the seed money he used to build his business concern into a global empire. That family goodwill didn't last, though, and all my character has is the promise of employment and eventual retirement. He doesn't have the promise of a good job, though, so he's a middle-manager in the Rock Bottom. His name is Absalom Jury, but everyone calls him "Abby", even after he asks them not to.

First thing in chargen I'm asked to do is pick an Archetype. This is actually a tough call. I can see Abby being a sad sack and/or comic relief, which would imply The Fool, though it would also be interesting to follow the Willard thread and pick The Weird. The Survivor appeals, too, because it's an all-rounder concept and I think Abby might not have much of a specialty. Hrm.

Well, The Fool is built on luck, and Abby is not a lucky person, so that leaves The Weird or The Survivor. If I were really playing this game, I would absolutely go with Weird, so that's what I'll do.

Archetypes have "trees" and "levels." Ugh. The one-shot says it's recommended for characters level 4-6, but the text doesn't tell the GM what level to have players make their characters at (and it gives sample character ideas, but not stats). Well, I'll go for the low end and say level 4. That means I can unlock four abilities on the Weird tree. Said tree has four...trunks? I guess? Eldritch, Spiritualist, Psionic, and Body Horror. Gotta look at these real quick and see which one makes sense. I'm leaning toward Eldritch, but we'll see. 

Yeah, Eldritch is about chaos and madness, and I can totally see Abby not realizing he has those powers until the shit goes down. So that means I get the first four abilities; unlike other trees, Weird has four separate ones rather than a branching path. 

Moving along! Weird also means I get a Talent Point in my Strange stat, a score of 5 in that stat, and 3s in everything else, except that I have to bust one down to 2. That'll be Luck, methinks. 

So next I pick a Background. Backgrounds are divided up by Archetype, but you can pair any Background with any Archetype, which is cool, but I wish they were categorized some other way because it really does read like you just pair Warrior with Warrior (or whatever). Ooh, but maybe there's a Fool Background that'll work well for Abby. Oh, no, wait, The Nerd is perfect. That means I Run Away real good, but I also get slow if I'm wearing armor 'cause I'm Weak. 

Next up, I need a Fear. I think Abby is most afraid of losing his job. Not because he likes it (he hates it), but because he literally lives and breathes this place and he knows nothing else, and the idea of trying to get another job terrifies him (not that the remake of Willard is great cinema or anything, but there's a scene when the titular Willard, played by Crispin Glover, is told that he can "start over" and he wails "Start over? I'm almost done!"). 

And that's it! Abby is about to come face to face with zombies and learn that he's capable of driving the people around him mad. Does his magic work on zombies? Probably not! But as we know, the real antagonists in zombie movies are the other people. 

Movie #681: The Caine Mutiny

The Caine Mutiny is military drama, I guess, starring Humphrey Bogart, José Ferrer, Fred MacMurray, Van Johnson, Robert Francis, May Wynn, and Tom Tully. 

It's the jaunty days of WWII, and Willie Keith (Francis) has just left his life of wealth and opulence for the Navy. He gets assigned to the USS Caine, a minesweeper ship that has, to put it lightly, seen better days. The captain, DeVriess (Tully) is somewhat checked out, pretty lackadaisical about discipline and hygiene amongst the men. The lieutenant, Keefer (MacMurray) spends most of his time badmouthing the ship and writing a novel, and the other lieutenant, Maryk (Johnson) does his job well enough, but is a bit slow. And then DeVriess gets replaced with Queeg (Bogart), a much more disciplined and by-the-book captain. Keith is thrilled at first by the notion that Queeg might whip the men into shape, but that doesn't last long.

See, Queeg is identified in the movie as "paranoid," but what he is, is a narcissist and an asshole. He freaks out over men not tucking their shirts in, ignores or shouts down his subordinates, and then blames them when he fucks up. When a quart of strawberries goes missing, he goes bananas and fixates on the idea that someone must have made a duplicate key to the kitchen, since something similar happened to him on a previous ship and he can't imagine any other explanation. He also cuts and runs prematurely when escorting landing boats in for an invasion, prompting his crew to start referring to him as "ol' Yellowstain."

Keefer points out to Maryk and Keith that under the Constitution of Boaty-time (I may be misremembering the title), if a captain is incapacitated by illness, mental or otherwise, another officer can take command. Maryk is all set to present his "Queeg is nuts" log to the admiral, but Keefer talks him out of it last-minute. And then a typhoon hits, the ship is in real danger of sinking, and Queeg just keeps ordering them to stay on course, even though that's suicide. Maryk takes command and of course he and Keith both get court martial'd for their trouble, and their lawyer, one Barney Greenwald (Ferrer) manages to get the charges dismissed after he puts Queeg on the stand and lets him talk. 

All of which is well and good. Like, this is a really good movie - it was nominated for a bunch of Oscars, and Bogey, in particular, is fantastic in the role. Thing I take issue with is Greenwald, showing up drunk to the congratulation party for Maryk, and saying "yeah, well, if you guys had been a little more loyal, then Queeg wouldn't have gone crazy and nearly killed you!"

And the reason I take issue with that is because when you listen to Queeg talk, he talks just like Trump. No, really. He disparages everyone under him as "disloyal" and incompetent. Nothing is his fault - it couldn't be his fault, he's great at everything. There's a conspiracy to hurt him, that's why it looks bad that he [did the thing], and he didn't really do the thing anyway. That kind of personality isn't improved by loyalty, because nothing is ever loyal enough.

Now, is this me applying modern-day events to an interpretation of a movie released in 1955? Yes. Do I care? Not in the slightest. 

(Oh, there's a whole subplot about Keith and his girlfriend May Wynn, who is played by May Wynn, but it's the least interesting thing about the movie so I kinda forgot about it.)

My Grade: B+
Rewatch Value: Medium

Next up: She's the Man