Krampus is a Christmas horror-comedy starring Emjay Anthony, Adam Scott, Toni Collette, David Koechner, Krista Sadler, Allison Tolman, Conchata Ferrell, Stefania LaVie Owen, Queenie Samuel, Maverick Flack, Lolo Owen, and Luke Hawker.
We open with a lovely montage of people in a big box store beating the shit out of each other shopping, and then cut to young Max (Anthony) getting into a fight during his Christmas pageant as his parents Tom (Scott) and Sarah (Collette) try to pull him out. The scene of a modern, hyper-stressful Christmas thus established, we join the rest of the Engel family: Max's older sister Beth (LaVie Owen) and his grandmother or "Omi" (Sadler).
(The family is German on Tom's side, and Omi mostly uses German, which Tom and Max both understand. She's able to speak and understand English, however. I mention that only because I really wanted to learn more about their family history and dynamic and the movie doesn't tell us much.)
So then Sarah's sister Linda (Tolman), her husband Howard (Koechner), and their three rather horrible kids Max Jr. (Flack), Stevie (Lolo Owen), and Jordan (Samuel) arrive, bringing the sisters' even more horrible Aunt Dorothy (Ferrell). Stressful modern Xmas continues, everyone fights, and Max tears up his letter to Santa and wishes for his horrible family to fuck off (paraphrasing).
And this, of course, prompts a visit from Krampus (Hawker) and his many terrifying minions, who pick the family off one by one in gruesome (but PG-13) and painful manners until only Max and Stevie remain. Max begs for Krampus to spare her and give him back his family, and Krampus tosses them both into Hell...
But it was all a dream! Max wakes up on Xmas morning and everyone is more or less on their best behavior, but then they find the bell that Krampus gave Max as a warning and everyone kind of looks horrified, and we pull back into Krampus' lair to see the family in a snow globe. I mention that ending because it's one of the few things about the movie that I don't think works, but we'll get there.
So, this movie is directed by Michael Dougherty, him of Trick R' Treat fame, and the man knows him some holiday horror. The vibe of the movie is perfect 2010s Xmas, with the forced togetherness and tenuous social contract, strained further by the people (Howard and his family) who are too boorish and selfish to know when they're being dicks.
(I note, by the way, that this movie really obviously takes place before the Trump era, and I'm horrified to think of how Howard and his clan would have acted after 2017.)
Anyway, one of the things the movie does right is that it never makes the characters entirely hateable. Howard is a dick, yes, but he also immediately stands up for his family and accepts Tom's help. Aunt Dorothy is a lout, yes, but she does her best to bond with the kids when things get really hairy, even if she's kind of bad at it. The family slowly becomes closer as the movie goes, and no one betrays the family or has a Paul-Reiser-in-Aliens moment.
Also, the design of Krampus is pretty top-notch. He wears a horror mask, so we never see his face, but his immense body, dripping in chains, and creepy goat-ish eyes are amazing. Also his movement, leaping from house to house but slamming into the roofs like a goddamn meteor is really nicely done. Krampus is and behaves like a monster, and I actually like that while he accepts Max's apology, he doesn't actually let him know that. We don't get a moment of mercy from him, he just continues the torment until everyone is "dead."
The performances are good, standouts are Scott, Collette, Anthony, and Sadler as Omi (who has a neat monologue explaining Krampus with some well done animation mid-movie). Koechner is funny as always, and I appreciate that he's able to rein the character in a bit (because if he didn't, we'd really hate him).
Now, the things that don't work: First, the fucking gingerbread men. There are some really amazing practical effects in this movie, between the monster jack-in-the-box that fucking swallows a child and the Krampus himself. And then there's the three gingerbread men minions that are crappy CGI, and they scream and squeak and hey kids, Seth Green does one of their "voices!" I don't think it worked.
And then there's the end. The intent was that Krampus keeps tabs on the people he's spared to make sure they maintain their Christmas spirit, but I only know that because I looked it up. My interpretation when I saw the movie the first time was that he'd trapped them all in Hell in some kind of Xmas Snow Globe Purgatory kind of thing and things were able to get and stay nightmarish, and when my son Cael watched the movie with us that was his thought, too. There's an alternate ending on the DVD in which only Max realizes what's happening (and then shares a knowing look with Omi), and I actually think that works better.
Plus, though this is minor: I really would like to have learned more about all of the characters. Tom and Omi seem like they have some interesting history, but even Howard and his family seem like they came from somewhere, and there's some reference to them having "a hard time" (though it's hard to imagine that means money troubles, given the obvious bucks Howard dropped on his Hummer).
But overall, it's a good flick, it doesn't go too hard into weirdness or dickwad characters, and the production designs are fantastic. And this is one of those rare moments that a PG-13 rating was the right call, because I don't see how more gore or language would have improved anything.
My Grade: B+
Rewatch Value: High
Next up: The Last Starfighter
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