Character Creation: Dire Roads

It's like a regular road, but bigger and more snarly.

The Game: Dire Roads
The Publisher: Battleaxes & Brimstone
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

I gotta start alternating genres. I legit had moments where I was thinking "wait, I did this, right? Generic fantasy RPG that thinks it's a more innovative/evolved take on D&D?" but then I remembered I was thinking of HârnMaster. This, at least, isn't up its own ass the way that game is, but it uses a proprietary deck of cards and eeeeehhhhh if you're gonna do a card-based game (which I fully support) either use a standard playing card deck or at least a Tarot, both of which are available on the cheap. 

This deck is pretty cool, I will admit. The deck has you draw cards coded by color and result, you might get a blue card that gives you "Yes But" or a red card that gives you "Disastrously No," and then abilities let you shift the results of different colors, that kind of thing. There might some accessibility issues surrounding color, of course, but I don't know, I haven't seen the cards, so maybe they're marked in such a way that would permit differentiation even without seeing the colors (a la the train cards in Ticket to Ride). 

Well, anyway, I've got a few hours before Cairn today, so let's make a road dyer or whatever the hell.

Oh, right, there's no setting in this game. Again. Next game I'm doing is going to have a goddamn setting.

Step One: Start with a concept. But how? Why? There's no setting! My concept is "adventurer", or more honestly, "board game piece." Fine, I'm a goddamn shoe. 

OK, let's try to be less bitter. (Sorry, I tweaked my back yesterday and I'm grouchy.) Ah, OK, there's this:

In fairness there's a whole section on using things like colors and shapes to inspire a character concept. I usually use songs. Actually, fuck it, let's do that. Over to you, iTunes library!

I really love this song. I have a whole video that plays in my head when I hear it, and it's completely inappropriate for this purpose (not that it's NSFW or anything, it's just about a family at Xmas and that's not what Dire Roads is about). But let's boil the song down a bit - it's about family tension and obligation to get along even when you really don't want to be here. So let's make an adventurer who doesn't want to be here. Let's assume that one of the other characters in a hypothetical group is a relative - I think I'd prefer parent just to hammer home the obligatory nature of the relationship, but older sibling would work, too. My guy perhaps has some skill at adventuring in some capacity, but he'd really rather be doing his own thing, but feels obliged to follow his dad around looking for treasure. Just for now.

OK, I think that's a good enough start. What's next? Step Two is Heritage. Let's have a look. Well, the Dwarf section starts off talking about how important family is to them, so that seems a pretty good fit. Cool, I'm a dwarf. What does that give me? I can treat a "Yes, But" as a "Yes" when working metal (bet that doesn't come up much) and if I drink I can get "Tankard Mail"; basically drunken armor. Cool, moving on.

Step Three is Abilities. Abilities are ranked, and ranks assigned thusly:

I also get to upgrade Physical Toughness by one rank (because I'm a dwarf), and I can't go higher than Formidable in anything. 

OK, well, what the heck is my dwarf good at? I don't think he's a physical powerhouse, I think that's dad. He's more of a scholar, maybe even magic-user, so probably Magical Prowess and Lore Mastery should be my Formidables. 

I get four at Imposing, so let's take Stealth, Academic Intelligence, Ranged Combat, and Raw Athleticism.

My weakest two are definitely Willpower and Social Grace - my dwarf is easily cowed, especially by dad. Everything else is Average (except Physical Toughness gets bumped up to Imposing). 

Step Four is Gear! Let's see, do I hate this game's equipment rules? No, because I don't have to shop with money. Thank goodness. OK, I get Apparel, a Kit, and a Weapon. Sweet. Wait, hang on, no place to write to down. Can't be that important (in fairness there's room on the second page of the sheet, but I didn't print that and I ain't gonna). For completeness' sake, let's say my dwarf has a Scholar's Kit, Adventuring Outfit, and I think a War Hammer (dad insisted), though he's not great at using it. 

Step Five is magic! Since I have Magical Prowess at Formidable, I get one Arcane spell for every Ability at Imposing marked with purple (a pentacle, so yeah, I guess there are symbols as well as colors, nice job, guys). Anyway, that gives me...three spells. They have to be Formidable or less in power (this isn't explained very well, but I think that's how it works), except for the one that has to be Imposing; I'm capped by the level of the Ability in question. So I have three Abilities that give me spells (Academic Intelligence, Lore Mastery, and Magical Prowess), two of which are Formidable, one is Imposing. OK, cool. Let's see the list. 

Hmm. There are a bunch of styles of magic, but not all of them work conceptually with my meek little dwarf. Let's say that he's interested in extraplanar stuff and start my search for spells in the Exothurgy sphere. 

Ooh, well, let's take Anchor (allowing me to prevent another creature to leave this plane of existence, including teleport), because I also get the Reverse, which is Teleport. I'll take Great Step, which is line-of-sight teleport (Teleport proper is to a frequented place). And, finally, I'll take Vile Displacement (teleport a target into a solid object). My guy hates that spell, but his father loves it - "Better than War Hammer to the face! Love it when they merge with rocks and wiggle!" Ew, dad, no.

Step Six is description and stuff. We'll say my dwarf is average for a dwarf, but shorter than dad, who's tall enough to pass for a short human ("I'm a giant dwarf! Ha-HA!" "Ugh, dad.") He's also skinny for a dwarf, largely because rich food gives him a tummyache and like, all dwarven food is rich. He's meek, he's embarrassed to cast spells in public, and he mumbles.

Step Seven...actually all subsequent steps are finishing detail kinds of things. So let's finish up. 

Strobror Armorclad is the son of the mighty Strabre Armorclad, one of the biggest and baddest adventurer/warrior dwarves in existence. Strabre got the ol' itch for adventure, kissed his wife goodbye (she's used to this shit) and took their eldest son Strobror off on his maiden journey! Strobror...is not entirely thrilled. 

Strobror wonders if he's got some human, or even halfling, in his heritage somewhere. He likes being underground and working with metal, sure, but he also loves to read. He's not into quaffing beer or eating RED MEAT OFF THE BONE, he eats like a bird and is much more interested in the lattice-work of stone crystals and how that might teach us something about planar travel. Strabre doesn't get him, and figures that his son just needs to get out there and crack some skulls with a hammer to really find his inner dwarf. Strobror is not fucking interested, but he does love (and is a little lottle lot intimidated by) his dad, and figures this can't go on too long, right? Just for now.

Strobror, like I said, is of average dwarven height but is skinny. He wears armor that his uncle made, but doesn't love it (though he admits it fits well and kinda makes him look badass?). He's got his mother's red hair and his dad's black eyes, and his beard comes in thick but weirdly soft. His nickname as a child, in fact, was "Softchin," and his dad still calls him that sometimes, despite his protests. 

And I think that'll do it! I actually don't hate this game, I just wish there were an interesting setting with it.