Movie #557: Predator

Predator is a sci-fi/horror/action movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Bill Duke, Sonny Landam, Jesse Ventura, Shane Black, Elpida Carrillo, Richard Chaves, and Kevin Peter Hall. It's pretty goddamn 80s.

Dutch (Schwarzenegger) is the leader of a squad of elite soldier-dudes (which branch of the military they report to isn't entirely clear; Dutch enjoys a great deal of autonomy but he's still obviously in the service). They're brought into a South American jungle to retrieve a MacGuffin (a helicopter got shot down and had important people aboard), led by Dutch's old Nam buddy Dillon (Weathers), now a CIA spook.

It's a rollicking good time at first; they find some skinned bodies, take out a guerrilla encampment, capture a guerrilla woman (Carrillo), but then they start getting picked off one at a time in ways that just don't make a lot of sense. Their assailant seems to disappear into the jungle, never trips a trap, and seems to bleed glowstick fluid. 'Cause he's an alien, hunting them for sport! Of course, not even a sweaty muscle montage can stop it, and Dutch winds up the only surviving soldier dude.

Y'know, joke all you want about the homoerotic undertones, the 80s machismo, the absolutely absurdity of Blain (Ventura) carrying around a gun that's supposed to be mounted on the side of a goddamn helicopter - lord knows we did while rewatching this. But I really like this movie. The premise is nicely scary and simple, and while Dutch does wind up killing the alien, it takes out his whole crew and very nearly kills him in the process. The movie does right by having the core group of victims be small. We get to know all of them at least by name before they get killed, and Mac (Duke) actually has moments after Blain dies that border on touching. Likewise, while no one is ever going to accuse Carl Weathers of being an amazing actor, his interactions with Dutch and Mac are fun.

We fall back on tropes a little bit; Billy (Landam) is a Native American so of course he's an amazing tracker and so on. In general, though, it's a good action flick and it's a shame that the franchise never quite manages to get quite as good as the first (although the next two movies on my list are part of that franchise and they have some enjoyable bits).

My Grade: A-
Rewatch Value: High

Next up: Predator 2

Character Creation: Heavy Metal Thunder Mouse

It's rodent time!

The Game: Heavy Metal Thunder Mouse
The Publisher: Shoreless Skies Publishing 
Degree of Familiarity: Haven't played this game, but I'm very familiar with Fate and I've read all of Beverly Cleary's Mouse & the Motorcycle books (though it's been a while)
Books Required: Just the one

As is probably obvious from the above, this game is heavily inspired by The Mouse & the Motorcycle, which, if you don't know, is a children's novel about a mouse that discovers he can make a toy motorcycle move by making bike noises while riding it. In the last novel, Ralph S. Mouse, he loses the motorcycle, but like the octopus in the famous parable recounted by one Philip J. Fry, he gets a race car. That's as may be, however.

The game can be dialed from G-rated on up, depending on how much violence and cussing you like in your whimsical mouse-biker stories. I have a theme song, however ("Long Hard Times to Come," Gangstagrass):

I can't believe I've never used this song. I keep thinking I have and I just don't remember what for, but I don't have a good way to check. Maybe I should start keeping a list or something. Fuck it, anyway, moving on. (ETA: Sonofabitch, I have used it. I thought so.)

I start out in the usual Fate way; I need some Aspects. I need first a concept and a trouble Aspect. I want my mouse to be a hot-tempered little thing, angry at the world. I suspect his mouse colony was wiped out by the city infestation inspector, and that's just a little too real for him. His Concept, then, is Rebel With a Tragic Past. My Trouble is going to relate to my temper, not my tragic backstory. His Trouble is That's it! The Boots are Coming Off! (which is a reference to a Patton Oswalt bit).

Now I get three more Aspects, and the way to approach this is just tell my mousie's story and see what shakes loose.

So, my mouse was out one day scavenging for food, and when he came back, his sister Delia met him at the entrance to the colony, begging him not to go in. He didn't, so he never saw exactly what happened, but there was a ghastly silence from inside and a faint chemical smell. He and Delia ran and never looked back. Delia hooked up with a biker mouse who belonged to one of the clubs in Thunder City, and he and my mouse talked about what biking meant, what freedom meant, and he acted as a kind of surrogate father/mentor to my mouse. He learned that "freedom" isn't just some nonstop party. When you gain freedom, typically you lose something, and it's up to you if the trade is worth it.

That mouse's club moved on, but Delia stayed, unwilling to leave behind the last of her family. She had a spare bike that her boyfriend had made for her (I think he was a Spanner), and she and my mouse managed to scavenge enough parts to build him one, too.

Now, at this point we'd open things up for my mouse's story to intersect with other players', and have a basis for our gang, but it's just me. So what I will say is that my mouse likes other biker mice and has a pretty open-minded take. He's passionate about liking others, just like he's passionate about basically everything.

So, Aspect-wise, I'll say that I'll Never Abandon Delia, Freedom Always Has a Cost, and You Might Be All Right.

Cool, now Skills. I get Driving at Good for free, but then I can lower it to take Bike Stunts later. Otherwise, it's the standard pyramid. So what is this mouse's Great Skill? I can't see it being anything other than Combat. For my Goods, I'll take Mechanics and Endurance. For Fair, I'll take Will, Sneak, and Provoke. And then Average, I'll take Movement, Contacts, and Rapport (I only get 3 Average, I guess).

Stunts! I get three for free, and I can buy more if I feel like it. I'll take Brawler (+1 stress inflicted when I'm fighting mooks). I kinda want something tied into him just snapping and jumping into a fight, so I'll make one up called Walk the Walk; I get a +2 to Combat rolls if I've first successfully inflicted stress with Provoke. And, finally, I probably should do something non-fighty. How about a Rapport stunt called We're All Friends Here; I get +2 to use Rapport to Create an Advantage if I'm with other biker mice.

Awesome. I don't think I want to spend refresh for more stunts, so that stays at 3. Now I need a name and description.

His name is Tone. He's a little gray mouse (he's surprisingly tough and strong for his size), and he wears a little leather jacket, leather boots, and a scarf (pants are for losers). He does indeed kick off the boots before getting into a scrap, and he's aware it's kind of a stupid thing to do, but he doesn't want to get them torn up.

And now for his bike. It's pretty weird; like a lot of mouse-bikes, it's largely made from found parts. The handlebars are made from the crossbar of a mousetrap (which is pretty badass, you gotta admit), and Tone wraps them in black tape. The rest of it is part of a toy motorcycle, part of an old circuitboard, part of whatever the hell else Tone could find before he and Delia built it. The bike looks pretty thrown together, but it rides. Actually, I think I'll base my Bike Aspect on that: Ain't Pretty, but It Rides.

I could lower my Driving Skill for Bike Stunts, but I don't think I need any. That means Tone's Driving stays at +3, and I'm pretty much ready to hit the road.

Movie #556: Practical Magic

Practical Magic is a supernatural rom-com starring Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Diane Wiest, Stockard Channing, Aiden Quinn, Evan Rachel Wood, Alexandra Artrip, and Goran Visnjic.

The Owens women live on an island in New England, and it's widely known that they're witches and that the men who love them die young. Sally (Bullock) and Gillian (Kidman) live with their aunts Jet (Wiest) and Frances (Channing) after the untimely deaths of their parents, and grow up learning witchcraft. Gillian, the more carefree and, well, promiscuous of the two, leaves home as a teenager(?) to go through a string of guys and end up with the cowboy/vampire Jimmy (Visnjic), while Sally eschews love but winds up falling for a local fella (Mark Feuerstein) and having a couple of daughters of her own (Wood and Artrip).

And then said local fella dies, Gillian calls for help because Jimmy is a serial killer, the girls kill him, bring him back as a zombie-thing, kill him again, and bury him in the garden. He becomes a ghost, possesses Gillian, Sally falls for Gary (Quinn), the cop investigating Jimmy, ghost is banished, witches come out to the town, all is well.

I've always liked this movie, but I have to admit that there are some film-making issues at work here. One is time. Sally gets married to Michael, has two daughters, and writes Gillian a letter around her third anniversary, but while that voiceover is happening, we're shown the family and the youngest of the girls is at least five. Likewise, when Michael dies, the girls appear to be...eight and six, maybe? But that's before Sally saves Gillian from Jimmy, so has Gillian been with Jimmy all this time? That seems unlikely, given how intense and prone to violence Jimmy is.

Another thing I've always been kinda annoyed by is that the movie does Michael dirty. He's only in it for a few minutes, he has exactly zero lines, and he's only there because the aunts cast a love spell to make Sally and him fall in love, but then that love was real enough to trigger the curse and the poor sucker got hit by a truck. Sally weeps and is depressed over him, but we never learn anything about him (and the movie goes out of its way to tell us a bunch of details about Gary, Sally's "true love" that she found with a spell when she was a kid).

Now, what I do like is Visnjic's performance as Jimmy, and how the movie slowly veers from being a rom-com with witches to a supernatural thriller as he gets more screen time. Likewise, both Bullock and Kidman do very well as the Owens sisters, though I do kind of feel that the movie takes a lot about their relationship for granted. The aunts, actually, are almost better realized, but really there's a lot of glossing over going on.

With all of that said, I'm not overly fond of rom-coms, but I do like it when they have supernatural shit going on.

My Grade: B-
Rewatch value: Medium

Next up: Predator

Character Creation: Loopy Tales

Kinda.

The Game: Tales from the Loop
The Publisher: Free League, by way of Mophidius
Degree of Familiarity: I played it once at a con (Breakout, I think?), but I don't remember much except that I enjoyed it and I played the Hick
Books Required: Just the one

Tales from the Loop is one of a number of "kids on bikes" RPGs (including, well, Kids on Bikes) that came out within the last few years. Stranger Things is a hell of a drug, I guess. Anyway, TftL probably hit the hardest; it's gonna be a TV now. Reading the book, it strikes a nice balance between trad game an PbtA-style game. Specifically, the game talks about the principles by which to run it, which I really wish had caught on as a thing in the 90s because it's such a good GM framework. Specifically, the everyday life here is meant to be dull and grindy, but the Mysteries that the kids solve are where things really come alive and get weird and cool. The game also leans hard into its 80s aesthetic, which, as a child of the 80s, I enjoy (I'd completely forgotten about renting VCRs to play tapes on until the book reminded me that was a thing).

The book presents two "Loops" (which are particle accelerators). One's in Sweden, one's in Nevada. I'm gonna make a kid from Nevada, but I'm gonna tie in Sweden because my amigx Gus gave me a theme song ("Flowers", by Cibo Matto):

The song is about missing someone or being apart from someone you love, and I think in this case I'm gonna say that my character had a girlfriend whose parents moved to Sweden after her mother was recruited by the "Loop" project there. So, with that as a start:

Step One: Choose your Type. Basic archetypes of kids. Bookworm, Jock, and so forth. I think I want to be a Rocker. Not sure why, I just enjoy the idea of my character blaring hair metal and writing letters to his girlfriend in Sweden.

Next up, I decide my age, 10-15. I'll be 14, I think.

Third, I distribute points equal to my age into Body, Tech, Heart, and Mind, maximum 5. I think I want a high Body and Heart? I mean, I can put 3 in everything and have two more left over, so I think I'll do that and then jack Body and Heart to 4.

Cool. Now I determine Luck points, which is 15 - my age, or 1.

Distribute 10 points in Skills. OK, then. This is a pretty standard dice pool system, except the target number is 6 and one hit pretty much means success. Skill-wise, I think Charm, Sneak, Move, Tinker, and Comprehend are good choices, so I'll put 2 in each of those. Oh, wait, whoops, I can't actually do that. I can only take 1 in a Skill, except in Charm, Move, and Empathize, which are key Skills for my Type (and I can take up to 3). OK, so I'll drop Sneak, Tinker, and Comprehend to 1. That gives me 3 points left. Well, might as well lean in; I'll pump Charm to 3, and put the other two into Lead and Empathize.

Pick an iconic item. The ones listed are boom box, leather jacket, or electric guitar. I see my character as less of a musician and more of an aficionado, so I'll say it's the leather jacket.

Pick a Problem. Oh, shit, "unrequited love," perfect.

Pick a Drive. Oh, "I'm doing it for love." Yeah, totes.

Pick a Pride. The two choices here are "I play guitar" or "I stood up for my friend." So I'm gonna change course and say that he does play guitar, but he doesn't have one of his own. He used to play his girlfriend's (her father was a musician and had a bunch of guitars around that they used to jam on).

Define your relationships to other Kids and NPCs. Well, y'know, just me, so I can't really do that. I'll say that Lina is my girlfriend who lives in Canada Sweden, though.

Select an Anchor. This is an adult that I can go to for advice and comfort. I'm gonna say it's Tony, my guitar teacher. He was in a rock band for a while, opened for WASP and some similar bands, and then their lead singer "came out" (my character has heard that, but isn't sure what it means and Tony seems touchy about it) and then got real sick, so the band broke up. Tony teaches guitar and works part time in a record store, and he seems cool as hell to my character.

Name your Kid. I'll say his name is Alan Pike. Everyone calls him "Pike" except Lina and his parents.

Write a short description. Sure. Pike is skinny and fidgety. He always has a guitar pick or seven on him, and he wears that leather jacket all the time, even when it's far too hot (which, like, Nevada). He has long brown hair and a bit of an acne problem, and persistent peach fuzz on his upper lip but none on his chin.

Choose your favorite song. Oh, shit. Um. How about "Photograph" by Def Leppard? (Can't be the Ciba Matto song, that's a bit of an anachronism.)

And that's it!

Blue Rose: Runnin' from Pirates

Blue Rose! Last time! On we go!

Our heroes sail out on the Misery from the Pirate Isles, heading north to the Leviathan's Teeth. Arlen ponders their course and what they'll do when they get there, Whirlpool and Kisha help out on the ship, and Dobbin crafts arrows and looks to her gear, anticipating trouble at some point. Arlen has a vision of Miriana's Tomb, and it's peaceful, serene, and spring-like, with the scent of flowers in the air, even as the waves crash on the Teeth around it. Arlen notes this with distrust.

As evening falls, Kisha and Whirlpool notice another ship hoving into view, and recognize it as the Sweet Blossom. It's a bigger and faster ship, Captain Shira tells them, and the pirates probably outnumber them (the Misery only has about a dozen sailors, plus the characters). Whirlpool steps up, however, and conjures up a hurricane force wind against the oncoming Blossom, forcing it to steer out of the way and giving the Misery a chance to head out.

They talk on the way about their next moves - should the Misery wait for them? Head to Jarzon or Aldis? They can't head north of the Teeth (that's the Veran Marsh, highly unsafe), and heading to Jarzon is iffy because the Jarzoni aren't always the most welcoming of people. They decide that once they're in the Teeth, Shira will get the ship maneuvered and moored so that they can leave quickly.

As they're coming up on the first boulders and "islands" of the Teeth, Arlen casts a scrying spell to look in on Qinis, and sees him and the sorcerer leader from the Dark Isle standing on the deck of the Blossom. The sorcerer kills a rat and splashes its blood on the deck, and a tarry skeleton creature pulls itself up out of the blood. The sorcerer tells the horrific creature "don't let them enter the Teeth," but then seems to realize he's being watched and flings a spell back at Arlen. The spell hurts him, but he tells the others that something's coming and from the description, Kisha recognizes it as a darkfiend (albeit less powerful than the ones the characters have fought previously).

Moments later, a scream and a splash! The characters run down the deck and see a sailor in the water and the darkfiend clawing at the others. Whirlpool and Kisha engage it, killing it with a few well-placed staff and trident blows, while Dobbin dives into the drink to save the sailor. They manage to pull Dobbin and the sailor back out, but by now the Sweet Blossom is in view, and the pirates are already swinging over.

Shira rallies the sailors, Dobbin shoots arrows at the sorcerer (who is standing on the deck of the Blossom), and Whirlpool and Kisha and Pansy engage Qinis. Arlen, thinking quickly, casts Fire Shaping and the sails of the Blossom burst into flames. The pirates are frightened and distracted, and Pansy knocks Qinis into the water. Several of the other pirates are likewise thrown overboard, while some are killed by the sailors as Shira gives a rallying cry.

Whirlpool notes that Qinis is a sea-folk, so throwing him into the ocean is unlikely to harm him. He looks over the edge of the ship, but sees nothing. The Blossom, now without much of its crew, begins to drift away as the sorcerer summons up another darkfiend (this time from his own blood) to quench the flames. The sailors and the heroes realize with horror that the dead pirates are getting up, and that they all have a sweet smell about them. This fight isn't over.

Character Creation: Slayers d20

LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH!

No, really, Slayers combines two things that I really don't care for: Anime and the d20 system. I've had this book for a long time (it was part of Michelle's collection because she co-wrote it) and I've considered getting it out of the way before, and just never quite made it past my initial "ugh". But social distancing makes for weird opportunities.

The Game: Slayers
The Publisher: Guardians of Order
Degree of Familiarity: None, other than reading the book and making faces for Michelle's amusement
Books Required: Slayers and the PHB

OK, so! Slayers is an anime. Here, I'll prove it.

I'm not reading the episode guide for all 78 episodes, but the setting of the book tells me that there's a barrier in the world. Magic on one side, technology on the other. More to the point, you can make a dragon as a PC. I'm here for that.

All right, so, first thing is to roll stats. That's 4d6, drop the lowest, 6 times. 'Scuse me a moment. OK, 12, 15, 14, 13, 12, 15. That's a damn sight better than last time. I already know I want to make a dragon character, and I know I want my class to be Loremaster (basically characters researching whatever their pet topic is, and every other level they get a "secret", which can be magic or feats or whatever). Intelligence is going to be a good thing to have, and my hit die is only d6, so putting something good into Constitution isn't a bad idea. Oh, and I get racial modifiers: +6 Str (jesus), +2 in Con, Int, and Cha. Nice.

Well, let's put a 12 in Strength, then, since it still gets jacked up to 18. Let's put my other 12 in Charisma (making it 14). I'll put the 14 into Dexterity and the 13 into Wisdom, which leaves 15s (actually 17s) in Int and Con. Nice.

OK, I can change into a big fuck-off dragon, I get breath weapons, etc., I note all that down on my sheet. And now class stuff! I get 52 ranks in skills (what a difference a little Intelligence makes). Well, I figure that my dragon's special focus is magic and the languages thereof, so I'll pump points into Decipher Script and Knowledge (Religion and Arcana). Probably ought to take some Spellcraft, too; can't actually cast spells yet, but it's a smart idea. And then I'll spread out the other points as whim takes me - oh, 4 points in Control Shape so I can shapeshift when need be.

Cool, now I get a Feat. I'll take Cute. I get a +2 to appropriate social checks, but it's hard to get people to take me seriously (until I shift into dragon form, I assume).

My dragon's name is Milgri Ul Aurek. Milgri, in human form, looks about 13, and is fresh-face, blond, big almond-colored eyes (and a small mouth, I assume). He wears robes and carries books and notebooks and scrolls and so on, but he never seems to cast spells, even though he's obviously pretty knowledgeable about magic. Folks assume he's from the technology side of the barrier and is just making a study, but fooled ya! Milgri is a dragon, and he's fully intent on becoming a powerful dragon-wizard. He's just gotta make sure he knows what he's doing first, and that means tracking down lore and mystical secrets and what not.

Character Creation: Castle Falkenstein

This one's been a long time coming. I think I've put it off because there's no character sheet, and that always bugs me.

The Game: Castle Falkenstein
The Publisher: R. Talsorian
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

Castle Falkenstein is a game with a gimmick. The idea is that the author got the game text from a fellow named Tom who was magically kidnapped and taken into an alternate Victorian-ish universe with steampunk and dashing swordplay and faeries and so on. The book is mostly written in-character, and my copy is falling apart, which doesn't make reading it any easier. As such, I haven't exactly read it cover to cover, but I think I've got a good enough bead to make a character.

AS SUCH. The first thing I'm meant to do is pick a Dramatic Character (kinda like a template). My buddy Travis gave me this as a theme song ("The Piano Has Been Drinking," Tom Waits):

Perhaps a little strange for the tone of the game, but I like it.

So, the book tells us that heroes might be Heroic (which is redundant, but that's fine), Tragic, or Flawed. Given this as a theme song, I'm pretty clearly not Heroic. I think Flawed makes more sense here; the book characterizes such heroes as characters that seek redemption, even if they haven't found the means or strength to achieve it. Redemption sounds a nice bit of escapism.

Right, next thing is that template thingie. Ooh, how about Performer? I think a Pagliacci-type character would be a lot of fun, someone who entertains but is himself a little broken (I have also been listening to a lot of Postmodern Jukebox/Puddles Pity Party of late). The template says that my Strong Suits are Charisma, Connections, and Performance, but I'll see if that actually means anything as we move along.

Next bit is a 20 questions kind of thing. I think I shall name him Pierrot, just to be classic about it.

• What is your name? Covered that, it's Pierrot, although I think that's a stage name. He doesn't use his real name anymore, but it's Peter.
• Where do you come from? If you ask Pierrot, he says he came out of a box when someone turned a crank, and danced away rather than getting tamped back down. In fact he's from the Ottoman Empire.
• What do you look like? Pierrot is slightly taller than average and keeps himself thin (it's much easier to pack on padding and appear heavier for a character than the reverse). He has black hair, which he keeps cut very short (but wears an assortment of wigs) and blue eyes.
• Describe your youth and general upbringing. Pierrot - or, rather, Peter - grew up one of many siblings. He doesn't remember how many, he just remembers going hungry a lot of nights so his younger sisters and brothers could eat. He and his older brother Hans fell in with a bad crowd and Peter did a lot of things he's ashamed of. He stole, he beat people up for their money, he burgled, and he learned to fight. One of the last things he stole was a lute, and he discovered that he had a natural gift for music. It was one of the last things he stole (at age 14) because Hans was killed during a robbery shortly thereafter, and Peter ran away from the Empire and his family. He joined a traveling circus and honed his performing abilities, but it was never really a good fit - Peter was a better musician and singer than tumbler or clown. 
• What are your best Qualities? Pierrot is empathetic and a good listener. He's skilled at getting people to talk, to forget their troubles, to laugh, and to sing along. 
• What are your vices or bad habits? Pierrot drinks heavily. He's prone to fits of melancholy, and he's shit at taking responsibility for his actions. 
• What's your style? Out of costume, Pierrot is almost bland (until you get some drinks in him). He dresses casually and speaks quietly. He can adopt a character in an instant, however, and he's adept at turning even a tiny accessory into something flashy - a scarf, a ring, or even a smile can become central. 
• Are you dashing or demure? Both, either, depends on what's needed. 
• What do you like/dislike? Pierrot doesn't actually like to drink, but he does it, a lot. He loves music and singing, and can play just about any instrument you put in front of him. He's happy playing alone, but he really loves performing for an intimate group - playing and singing in a tavern or bar is better for him than playing to a sold-out opera house. Pierrot dislikes romance. It's not that he doesn't like the physical sensations, but it makes him nervous and two-person intimacy makes him uncomfortable. 
• What really matters to you? Pierrot wants to be happy, but he doesn't know how. He's believes that maybe there's a way to redeem himself for the pain he caused in his youth, but he wouldn't begin to know how to do that. He believes that the highest principle is joy, and that actively working to help people experience it - either directly or through catharsis - is his calling. His most treasure possession is a mask he fashioned for himself some years ago, made of wood and bone. He always wears it when performing, at least for part of a show. 
• Who or what is you nemesis? What are your alliances? This is a tough one. I'm not sure that Pierrot has a nemesis per se; he seems the kind of character who'd play a more supporting role (which is typical of characters that I actually play, actually). 
• Describe your romantic life. Hrm. I think that Pierrot has a pen pal, another actor who's constantly on the road traveling. Ooh, someone he met back in the circus, someone who did take to mime and clowning. Her name is Columbine, and while they've always been close friends, Columbine is engaged to a wealthy theater patron. Pierrot doesn't quite know how he feels about that. Not great.
• What are your goals in life? Specifically, a Social Goal, a Professional Goal, and a Romantic Goal. Well, I think Pierrot's Romantic Goal is to tell Columbine that he loves her, but that'll involving admitting it to himself. His Social Goal is to find his family and give them a place to live (he's tried, but no luck so far). His Professional Goal is to open a school of music. 
• What are you good at? Poor at? Exceptional at? Oh, shit, game-stuff. I get Great ability, four Good, and one Poor. Let's check it out! Well, clearly my Great is Performance. My Goods will be Charisma, Athletics, Courage, and Social Graces. And Poor...ooh. How about Connections? As written, the assumption is that if you've got Poor Connections you only mingle with the street trash, but in Pierrot's case I think it's because he cuts himself off from true connection with almost everyone, meaning he can't really call on people when necessary. He can get along OK playing a role, but no one really knows Pierrot. 
• What event or action in your life do you regret most? On the night he gave his last performance with the circus, Pierrot was invited out with Columbine and the other clowns to have some drinks, play some darts, and generally have some fun. Pierrot chose to stay by himself and drink. He isn't sure why. He desperately wanted to go, but he didn't, and he's regretted that ever since. 
• What event or action in your life are you proudest of? When his brother Hans lay dying of a stab to the gut, Pierrot told him dirty jokes and sang him songs and made him laugh. Pierrot never let Hans see how scared and sad he was, so that Hans could go to the next life without fear. 

Right, so the next bit is to write a diary entry detailing what Pierrot has been up to the last few years of his life. Technically I should have incorporated the above questions into that, but eh. I'll just write a short bit, but I think I'd rather frame it as an unsent letter.

My dearest Columbine,

This morning I woke next to a dog, which I have to admit is a first even for me. The dog's virtue was unbesmirched, you'll be happy to know, and it gave me a warning growl as I stirred. I did not recognize the house in which I awoke, nor could I remember how I'd come to be sleeping in a stone kitchen near a fire, nor, indeed, could I remember the name of the scullery maid who came to rouse me and shoo me out the door. However, I am pleased to report that I remembered the dog's name: Susie.

I returned to the music hall late in the morning, collar hitched up around my face and traces of white paint still smeared across my neck, and Gustav, the house manager, tut-tutted at me and handed me a cup containing some foul concoction containing no alcohol whatever (Gustav later informed me it is called "water"; I did not enjoy it). The indignities continued. While all available evidence indicated that the day was Sunday, and therefore a day of rest, Gustav insisted that it was in fact Saturday, meaning I had a matinee performance and was, indeed, an hour past call. You would like Gustav, I think. His exasperated sigh reminds me very much of you, though his beard makes reading facial expressions impossible. I suspect he may be related to Gerte, our circus' bearded lady, or perhaps Jojo, our dancing bear. I shall have to remember to ask him.

You may remember how much I hate matinees, but this one was actually quite refreshing. The crowd was sparse, but rather than sitting severally, they all packed into the first few rows, lending a quite intimate tone to the afternoon. After I finished my first song, I heard a young woman weeping. I sat on the edge of the stage (nearly burning my arse on the footlights, but that's nothing my arse hasn't experienced before) and asked her if she was well. She responded that the song I had just performed reminded her very much of her departed brother, a Hussar lost in combat just the previous winter.

I told her that I was sorry for her loss, but hoped that her memories of her brother were pleasant ones. She said they were, and asked if I might sing another song that she associated with him, one common to funerals in her region. Fortunately it was a song I knew well, and as I sang it, the other people in the audience joined, until we sang for her brother as one voice. These sorts of moments are only possible within the shared safety of the theater, I think. Were we to speak of them in the light of day, I think that anyone in that audience would have blushed and denied it, as though reminded of some drunken assignation to which all had consented, but none wished to discuss.

Such moments are what I shall miss most during the off season. I prepare to once again face the long months of rehearsals, scripting, blocking, and travel that are required of me during these liminal months. At least I shall have more hours in the day to write you...and then to fold up the letter, stuff it in a box, and uncork a bottle of something that is decidedly not water.

Apologies, my dear Columbine. Reality is unbecoming. I shall endeavor to spend as little time there as possible.

All my love,
Pierrot