Murder by Death is one of those movies they don't make anymore: A well done parody. It stars David Niven, Maggie Smith, Peter Falk, Eileen Brennan, Peter Sellers, Truman Capote, Alec Guinness, James Coco, Elsa Lanchester, Estelle Winwood, Richard Narita, and, in his first feature film role, James Cromwell.
This film is a send-up of the whodunit, Agatha Christie style murder mystery. Lionel Twain (Capote) invites the five greatest detectives in the world: Inspector Wang (Sellers, and we'll get to that), Milo Perrier (Coco), Sam Diamond (Falk), Jessica Marbles (Lanchester), and Dick Charleston (Niven) to his spooky-ass house to solve a murder. He tells them that at the stroke of midnight, there will be a murder, and since they won't be able to solve it, that'll make him the greatest living criminologist.
Now, that's flimsy logic on its face (and the characters point out that if he's the one orchestrating this, then he's the murderer), but stick with me, because it gets sillier. Twain is the one who seemingly gets murdered at midnight, after the blind butler Bensonmum (Guinness) has already been poisoned. The guests theorize and point out increasingly absurd preexisting connections between each other and Twain (he's Wang's father! He picked up Diamond in a gay bar!) until finally they all gather in the accusing parlor and discover that Bensonmum, very much alive, is the real killer...kinda.
So, I enjoy the detective story, and I like a good parody. The problem is that there are so few good parodies. This article from the AV Club kinda runs down how the parody genre has tanked in the last couple of decades, but Murder by Death ticks the right boxes - it requires a knowledge of the genre and it certainly helps if you've read Hammett and Christie or seen some of the film adaptations, but it's funny regardless.
Now, let's not ignore the problematic shit. Sellers is playing Wang, a sendup of Charlie Chan, and he's a white dude in yellowface speaking broken English. That said, as Michelle points out, the portrayal here isn't any worse than Warner Oland or Sidney Toller playing him, and here some of the worst bits (like Wang's broken English) actually get called out. I personally thought it would have been better to have "Wang" reveal that he's really a white guy from Fresno or whatever; wouldn't have been any more over the top than the "revelations" we actually get. Lot of ableist humor surrounding Bensonmum's blindness and the maid's (Nancy Warner) deaf/mute-ness, too, which is kinda cringey.
The central takeaway, here, I think, is the metafiction at the end, in which Twain berates them all for their novels, introducing last-minute characters and clues that don't play fair by the reader. The plot and twists of the movie are impossible to follow, you can't trust that anything that people say is true, and of course there are huge plot holes - but I think that's the point, it's all an over-the-top way to "surprise" the reader, which is itself kind of a perversion of what the genre is about.
Dated content aside, too, there are some very funny people in this movie. I love the subtle (and not-so-subtle) callouts to Nick Charles being the "real" detective while Nora ("Dora," here, played by Smith) get relegated to "wife" status. Likewise, the detectives continually one-up each other with their observations and deductions of what's going on around them, but miss some of the context. It's a smart movie with some low gags at times, which is a damn sight better than what passes for "spoof" these days.
My Grade: B+
Rewatch Value: Medium-high
Next up: The Musketeer
Sunday, May 13, 2018
Saturday, May 12, 2018
Sundown
Today we said goodbye to Leo, my yellow lab. I want to tell you his story.
My parents had just bought a house in Middleburg Heights down the road from us, so they had a big living room and no furniture. We had the family bring the puppy over there; Leo (born in September) was probably about 10 weeks old. He was very shy and timid, and the family had a little boy (probably about 4) who was very concerned that we take good care of the dog.
The boy had named him "Superhero."
We took the puppy in and named him Helios, Dog of the Sun, or "Leo" for short. Right away we realized how different he was from Sephi. Sephi was confident and tough; Leo was a scaredy-cat and needed constant comfort. The first week we had him, I had to sleep on the couch with my hand over the edge so he could lick my hand from his crate if he got scared. Gradually, he let me leave the room after he fell asleep, and finally he got comfortable enough to fall asleep on his own.
He was a tiny puppy then, but of course he grew into a moose. He never had any sense of how big he really was. I think he lived his whole life thinking he still weighed about seven pounds. When he was younger he was happy to leap up on our couch and snuggle, which was fine, except that Leo had a tendency to lick whatever was within a tongue's length of his face.
He was a friend and companion to Sephi, and when Michelle moved in and brought her terrier Rosie, he bonded with her, too. When Rosie died (hit by a car), Leo mourned. He lay on the floor quietly, not sleeping, staring at where her crate used to be. I'd never seen an animal mourn before, and it was humbling to me.
When Leo was younger we'd take him into the woods and down to the creek. Like most labs, he loved the water and he'd happily go charging through it. He wasn't above lounging in mud puddles, too.
In 2011, we brought Si home, and Leo and Si immediately became friends. Sephi was getting older and showing it, so she couldn't really romp, but Leo could, and they'd chase things together. Leo actually managed to learn from Si and follow his cues (because whatever else can be said of Leo, he was no genius).
Just recently, Leo tore a ligament in his leg, and in trying to get around I think he made it worse. The vet thinks, too, that there was some neurological involvement, maybe a tumor on his spine. In any case, he couldn't stand or walk, and he was in constant pain. Today we made the decision to put him to sleep.
We (me, Michelle, John, Kai, Cael, and Al) went to the vet where Leo had stayed overnight and sat around and rubbed him, told him he was a good boy, and said goodbye. Michelle and I stayed with him until the end. It was quick. "I think he was tired," the vet tech told us. I think he probably was.
Driving home, I noted that the sun wasn't shining. Well, sure.
The Dog of the Sun has gone to sleep.
I brought Sephi (my black lab) into the vet in winter of 2005, and the staff told me about a family that had some puppies. Turns out that they had two labs, and had left them in the care of their teenager, who had locked them in a room and sodded off to go do teen things. The result was a little of nine puppies. Leo was the last one to find a home.
 |
| He was much smaller than this then, but I don't have any puppy pics |
My parents had just bought a house in Middleburg Heights down the road from us, so they had a big living room and no furniture. We had the family bring the puppy over there; Leo (born in September) was probably about 10 weeks old. He was very shy and timid, and the family had a little boy (probably about 4) who was very concerned that we take good care of the dog.
The boy had named him "Superhero."
We took the puppy in and named him Helios, Dog of the Sun, or "Leo" for short. Right away we realized how different he was from Sephi. Sephi was confident and tough; Leo was a scaredy-cat and needed constant comfort. The first week we had him, I had to sleep on the couch with my hand over the edge so he could lick my hand from his crate if he got scared. Gradually, he let me leave the room after he fell asleep, and finally he got comfortable enough to fall asleep on his own.
He was a tiny puppy then, but of course he grew into a moose. He never had any sense of how big he really was. I think he lived his whole life thinking he still weighed about seven pounds. When he was younger he was happy to leap up on our couch and snuggle, which was fine, except that Leo had a tendency to lick whatever was within a tongue's length of his face.
He was a friend and companion to Sephi, and when Michelle moved in and brought her terrier Rosie, he bonded with her, too. When Rosie died (hit by a car), Leo mourned. He lay on the floor quietly, not sleeping, staring at where her crate used to be. I'd never seen an animal mourn before, and it was humbling to me.
When Leo was younger we'd take him into the woods and down to the creek. Like most labs, he loved the water and he'd happily go charging through it. He wasn't above lounging in mud puddles, too.
In 2011, we brought Si home, and Leo and Si immediately became friends. Sephi was getting older and showing it, so she couldn't really romp, but Leo could, and they'd chase things together. Leo actually managed to learn from Si and follow his cues (because whatever else can be said of Leo, he was no genius).
Just recently, Leo tore a ligament in his leg, and in trying to get around I think he made it worse. The vet thinks, too, that there was some neurological involvement, maybe a tumor on his spine. In any case, he couldn't stand or walk, and he was in constant pain. Today we made the decision to put him to sleep.
We (me, Michelle, John, Kai, Cael, and Al) went to the vet where Leo had stayed overnight and sat around and rubbed him, told him he was a good boy, and said goodbye. Michelle and I stayed with him until the end. It was quick. "I think he was tired," the vet tech told us. I think he probably was.
Driving home, I noted that the sun wasn't shining. Well, sure.
The Dog of the Sun has gone to sleep.
 |
| Helios, Dog of the Sun, "Leo" Sept. 2005-May 2018 |
Movie #454: The Muppets Take Manhattan
The Muppets Take Manhattan is, in my opinion one of the weirder Muppet movies. It stars the usual cast of Muppets, plus humans in the form of Juliana Donald, Louis Zorich, Lonny Price, and a whole host of celebrity cameos, as is customary.
The core Muppets (Kermit, Fozzie, Piggy, Scooter, Rowlf, and the Electric Mayhem) have just graduated from college and decide to take Kermit's original music to Broadway. They go to New York and immediately get an education in how rough that really is, and the group splits up - Kermit stays and starts working as a dishwasher while trying to shop the show, Piggy stays to stalk him, and everyone else heads west (no one gets further than Cleveland, though) to get jobs where they can.
Kermit works at a diner owned by Pete (Zorich) and his daughter Jenny (Donald), and staffed by Rizzo the Rat and his rodent compatriots. The movie is basically Kermit's attempt to get the show on Broadway, which eventually happens because a young producer (Price) finds it and wants to take a chance on it, but then Kermit walks into traffic, gets amnesia, and winds up working as an advertising exec with a bunch of other frogs.
That is not the weirdest thing in this movie. The weirdest thing in this movie is that, while on a buggy ride through Central Park, Piggy wishes she and Kermit could have grown up together, which takes us into a dream sequence with baby versions of the Muppets. You might almost call them...Muppet Babies (which debuted a year later as an animated show, based on positive response to this sequence, which boggles my damn mind).
I didn't realize that there were only 8 Muppet movies. Of those, three of them are kind of meta (The Muppet Movie, The Muppets and The Muppets Most Wanted assume that the Muppets are entertainers and the thrust of the action is about them doing entertainer things, so set in the "real" world in which the Muppet Show was set). Two of them are takes on other stories (Christmas Carol and Treasure Island), and two of them are stories in which the Muppets are playing other characters (Manhattan and The Great Muppet Caper). I have no idea how Muppets from Space fits in since I haven't seen it.
It makes me a little sad that we didn't see more of this sort of Muppet movie - movies in which the Muppets are taking on roles, making "Kermit the Frog" (etc) an actor, but also a character. But I think the world might have moved beyond that point.
In any case, this one is strange, but entertaining, although I was a little disappointed in the musical when we finally get to see it - it's brief and pretty simplistic (compare with Waiting for Guffman where we get a good sense of the whole show-within-a-show even if we only see little bits).
My Grade: B
Rewatch Value: Low
Next up: Murder by Death
The core Muppets (Kermit, Fozzie, Piggy, Scooter, Rowlf, and the Electric Mayhem) have just graduated from college and decide to take Kermit's original music to Broadway. They go to New York and immediately get an education in how rough that really is, and the group splits up - Kermit stays and starts working as a dishwasher while trying to shop the show, Piggy stays to stalk him, and everyone else heads west (no one gets further than Cleveland, though) to get jobs where they can.
Kermit works at a diner owned by Pete (Zorich) and his daughter Jenny (Donald), and staffed by Rizzo the Rat and his rodent compatriots. The movie is basically Kermit's attempt to get the show on Broadway, which eventually happens because a young producer (Price) finds it and wants to take a chance on it, but then Kermit walks into traffic, gets amnesia, and winds up working as an advertising exec with a bunch of other frogs.
That is not the weirdest thing in this movie. The weirdest thing in this movie is that, while on a buggy ride through Central Park, Piggy wishes she and Kermit could have grown up together, which takes us into a dream sequence with baby versions of the Muppets. You might almost call them...Muppet Babies (which debuted a year later as an animated show, based on positive response to this sequence, which boggles my damn mind).
I didn't realize that there were only 8 Muppet movies. Of those, three of them are kind of meta (The Muppet Movie, The Muppets and The Muppets Most Wanted assume that the Muppets are entertainers and the thrust of the action is about them doing entertainer things, so set in the "real" world in which the Muppet Show was set). Two of them are takes on other stories (Christmas Carol and Treasure Island), and two of them are stories in which the Muppets are playing other characters (Manhattan and The Great Muppet Caper). I have no idea how Muppets from Space fits in since I haven't seen it.
It makes me a little sad that we didn't see more of this sort of Muppet movie - movies in which the Muppets are taking on roles, making "Kermit the Frog" (etc) an actor, but also a character. But I think the world might have moved beyond that point.
In any case, this one is strange, but entertaining, although I was a little disappointed in the musical when we finally get to see it - it's brief and pretty simplistic (compare with Waiting for Guffman where we get a good sense of the whole show-within-a-show even if we only see little bits).
My Grade: B
Rewatch Value: Low
Next up: Murder by Death
Wednesday, May 9, 2018
Blades in the Dark: Go Scoundrels Go
Everyone was rollin' 6s on Monday, it was bananas.
So, last time, the scoundrels completed one job and immediately started a new one. To wit, they were trying to talk Ulf Ironborn into giving up or selling his little gambling den and letting Widdershins have it, which in turn would cement their "Luxury Den" (on the turf map). They bring Ulf to Ruby to get him high and show off their services; Ulf is there with two of his gang, speaking Skovic to One-Eye and generally playing up the "Lockport Pride" thing (which doesn't sit well with her, because she hates Lockport and couldn't wait to get out and certainly doesn't have any issues surrounding her homeland).
They hang around Ruby a bit, and then Ulf says they should walk down to the Island and check that out. As they cross a bridge, two dudes leap out from under the bridge and pull guns on them. This goes badly. Copper releases Button, who mauls one to death, and the other one trades bullets with Siren (but she has armor, he doesn't). Cage examines their bodies and find a handful of coin on them, but it's shiny, new, well-minted coin, the kind of stuff you'd find in Brightstone. Who paid these guys? They're not obviously with any gang, and they don't look familiar. The scoundrels shove the bodies into the canal and move along.
Arriving at the Island, they gamble a bit, drink, and so forth. Ulf asks One-Eye some organizational questions, but then agrees to sell the place for four Coin. Or...he has a job they could do, and knock the price down to one Coin. One-Eye asks what the job is, with some trepidation, and Ulf says that the Grinders have this smuggling job - pick up a trapped specter and transport it to the Docks. One-Eye groans; she still isn't interested in getting involved in rebellion or political issues, but hey, this'll save the crew some money and it's very much in their wheelhouse, so fine.
That concluded this job, though, so the crew paid their Coin and got some rep (and wound up with some additional Coin because they're now selling drugs and gambling fun), and they started working on this new job. They had an additional problem, though - the ghost of the dude that Button had mauled showed up at the hideout to haunt them.
Cage handles that, though; he puts a lightning hook on the ghost's neck and attunes. He sees the guy taking a meeting with a very well-to-do gent in a cloak. The man hands the thugs the coins, and tells them to kill Siren. If they kill other Widdershins, great, he'll pay them for those, too. As he leaves, he warns them to get more people on this - they can't take out the Widdershins by themselves. The ghosts howls and disintegrates (guess they put the body in the furnace!) but Cage relays all this to the crew. Siren is concerned this might have something to do with the spiritual presence in her head?
One-Eye and Copper head out to the Docks to talk to Sercy from the Grinders. One-Eye wants some answers; she knows that the Grinders planned to use this specter as a weapon, but wasn't sure where or how and decides that if Widdershins was going to be party to this, they should know. Sercy isn't very forthcoming, though, claiming that the Grinders weren't sure about where or how to use, but promises it wouldn't be Nightmarket, and that was just gonna have to be good enough. They haggle a bit, and finally Copper steps in and says they'll do the job, they'll get paid, that'll be the end of it.
The crew was to meet Junker and get the specter, near the rail station, then transport it to the Docks. They meet Junker and he hands them a crate (and Cage feels something shift inside as he carried it). On the boat, Siren sees in the distance another ship approaching...and then gets shot. Her armor absorbs it (she was using a heavy loadout since she knew she was being stalked). Cage and Copper head back to the boat; Cage lands and keeps the box even, while Copper misses and winds up hanging on the side. One-Eye guns it.
They alter their route and swing past the prison. Siren shoots the guy steering the pursuing vessel to slow them down, then dumps an explosive charge in the water. The boats hits it and blows up, and the Widdershins move along (see what I mean about them killing it this session?). The shockwave jostles the boat and the box starts glowing, but Cage focuses and restrains whatever's inside. They move through the city (we flash back to One-Eye dealing with Griggs of the Gondoliers and making sure that they aren't going to hassle the crew), but then they wind up going between Brightstone and Charterhall.
They find some spirit wardens scanning the waterways with some kind of spectro-tech. Cage tosses a vial of ectoplasm on the bridge they're standing on to disrupt said tech, and One-Eye talks her way past them. They get to the Docks and walk the thing to the tavern, where they see some other toughs in the corner. They ignore them, though, deliver the crate, and get their money (realizing that the toughs aren't there with the Grinders, so there's no need to start shit).
The crew gets paid and gets rep, and winds up at Tier II. They also wind up with a bunch of Heat (this was not quiet), and going up a wanted level. One-Eye works on her eye and gets it completed, but still needs to install it. Cage, though, has a strange encounter - as he's walking to visit Lord Penderyn, a demonic presence visits him and tells him to steal "a cloak" from someone, and then burns a map into his coat. Penderyn cuts him off - he's getting attention that's just not cool.
Lots of wheels turning. Gotta do some prep over the weekend. And it'll be a while before we play again; running a one-shot of We Used to Be Friends next time.
So, last time, the scoundrels completed one job and immediately started a new one. To wit, they were trying to talk Ulf Ironborn into giving up or selling his little gambling den and letting Widdershins have it, which in turn would cement their "Luxury Den" (on the turf map). They bring Ulf to Ruby to get him high and show off their services; Ulf is there with two of his gang, speaking Skovic to One-Eye and generally playing up the "Lockport Pride" thing (which doesn't sit well with her, because she hates Lockport and couldn't wait to get out and certainly doesn't have any issues surrounding her homeland).
They hang around Ruby a bit, and then Ulf says they should walk down to the Island and check that out. As they cross a bridge, two dudes leap out from under the bridge and pull guns on them. This goes badly. Copper releases Button, who mauls one to death, and the other one trades bullets with Siren (but she has armor, he doesn't). Cage examines their bodies and find a handful of coin on them, but it's shiny, new, well-minted coin, the kind of stuff you'd find in Brightstone. Who paid these guys? They're not obviously with any gang, and they don't look familiar. The scoundrels shove the bodies into the canal and move along.
Arriving at the Island, they gamble a bit, drink, and so forth. Ulf asks One-Eye some organizational questions, but then agrees to sell the place for four Coin. Or...he has a job they could do, and knock the price down to one Coin. One-Eye asks what the job is, with some trepidation, and Ulf says that the Grinders have this smuggling job - pick up a trapped specter and transport it to the Docks. One-Eye groans; she still isn't interested in getting involved in rebellion or political issues, but hey, this'll save the crew some money and it's very much in their wheelhouse, so fine.
That concluded this job, though, so the crew paid their Coin and got some rep (and wound up with some additional Coin because they're now selling drugs and gambling fun), and they started working on this new job. They had an additional problem, though - the ghost of the dude that Button had mauled showed up at the hideout to haunt them.
Cage handles that, though; he puts a lightning hook on the ghost's neck and attunes. He sees the guy taking a meeting with a very well-to-do gent in a cloak. The man hands the thugs the coins, and tells them to kill Siren. If they kill other Widdershins, great, he'll pay them for those, too. As he leaves, he warns them to get more people on this - they can't take out the Widdershins by themselves. The ghosts howls and disintegrates (guess they put the body in the furnace!) but Cage relays all this to the crew. Siren is concerned this might have something to do with the spiritual presence in her head?
One-Eye and Copper head out to the Docks to talk to Sercy from the Grinders. One-Eye wants some answers; she knows that the Grinders planned to use this specter as a weapon, but wasn't sure where or how and decides that if Widdershins was going to be party to this, they should know. Sercy isn't very forthcoming, though, claiming that the Grinders weren't sure about where or how to use, but promises it wouldn't be Nightmarket, and that was just gonna have to be good enough. They haggle a bit, and finally Copper steps in and says they'll do the job, they'll get paid, that'll be the end of it.
The crew was to meet Junker and get the specter, near the rail station, then transport it to the Docks. They meet Junker and he hands them a crate (and Cage feels something shift inside as he carried it). On the boat, Siren sees in the distance another ship approaching...and then gets shot. Her armor absorbs it (she was using a heavy loadout since she knew she was being stalked). Cage and Copper head back to the boat; Cage lands and keeps the box even, while Copper misses and winds up hanging on the side. One-Eye guns it.
They alter their route and swing past the prison. Siren shoots the guy steering the pursuing vessel to slow them down, then dumps an explosive charge in the water. The boats hits it and blows up, and the Widdershins move along (see what I mean about them killing it this session?). The shockwave jostles the boat and the box starts glowing, but Cage focuses and restrains whatever's inside. They move through the city (we flash back to One-Eye dealing with Griggs of the Gondoliers and making sure that they aren't going to hassle the crew), but then they wind up going between Brightstone and Charterhall.
They find some spirit wardens scanning the waterways with some kind of spectro-tech. Cage tosses a vial of ectoplasm on the bridge they're standing on to disrupt said tech, and One-Eye talks her way past them. They get to the Docks and walk the thing to the tavern, where they see some other toughs in the corner. They ignore them, though, deliver the crate, and get their money (realizing that the toughs aren't there with the Grinders, so there's no need to start shit).
The crew gets paid and gets rep, and winds up at Tier II. They also wind up with a bunch of Heat (this was not quiet), and going up a wanted level. One-Eye works on her eye and gets it completed, but still needs to install it. Cage, though, has a strange encounter - as he's walking to visit Lord Penderyn, a demonic presence visits him and tells him to steal "a cloak" from someone, and then burns a map into his coat. Penderyn cuts him off - he's getting attention that's just not cool.
Lots of wheels turning. Gotta do some prep over the weekend. And it'll be a while before we play again; running a one-shot of We Used to Be Friends next time.
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
Movie #453: The Muppets
The Muppets is the 2011 revival of the Muppets property, starring the usual cast of Muppets plus Jason Segel, Amy Adams, Peter Linz, Chris Cooper, and a whole bunch of celebrity cameos.
Walter (voiced by Linz) is a Muppet and the apparently adopted brother of Gary (Segel). They grow up together and Walter feels pretty lost until he discovers The Muppets, whereupon he becomes a lifelong fan. Fast forward to now-ish, and Gary is on the verge of proposing to his longtime sweetheart Mary (Adams), so they're going out to LA, but Walter goes with them to see the Muppet museum.
While there, Walter discovers that an evil businessman aptly named Tex Richman (Cooper) is about to buy the building and demolish it. Saving it would require 10 million dollars, so Walter finds Kermit, they get the Muppets back together, host a show with celebrity input by a kidnapped Jack Black, and everything ends up with a deus ex machina (they fail to fund, but then Richman gets hit on the head and gives them back the building anyway).
So, generally, this is a pretty good Muppet movie. The characters are consistent with their older incarnations, for the most part; Fozzie's "fart shoes" are a little lowbrow for the Muppets, but at least they don't milk that particular goat too much. The celebrity cameos are fun, and there are a bunch of references to the fact that the Muppets aren't exactly close to the zeitgeist. The b-plot (Gary cutting loose from Walter and committing to his relationship with Mary) isn't exactly compelling because Segel is kind of boring next to the Muppets, but Adams is charming as always. I think the movie spends maybe a little too much time on the new characters and not enough with the actual Muppets, but the "get the band back together" goes a long way to establishing them (though not enough time on Rowlf, my favorite Muppet).
The songs are cute, though I'm sad they trimmed Cooper's because it included some backstory. All in all, I think that's too sweet in places, but otherwise a good Muppet movie.
My Grade: B+
Rewatch value: Medium-high
Next up: The Muppets Take Manhattan
Walter (voiced by Linz) is a Muppet and the apparently adopted brother of Gary (Segel). They grow up together and Walter feels pretty lost until he discovers The Muppets, whereupon he becomes a lifelong fan. Fast forward to now-ish, and Gary is on the verge of proposing to his longtime sweetheart Mary (Adams), so they're going out to LA, but Walter goes with them to see the Muppet museum.
While there, Walter discovers that an evil businessman aptly named Tex Richman (Cooper) is about to buy the building and demolish it. Saving it would require 10 million dollars, so Walter finds Kermit, they get the Muppets back together, host a show with celebrity input by a kidnapped Jack Black, and everything ends up with a deus ex machina (they fail to fund, but then Richman gets hit on the head and gives them back the building anyway).
So, generally, this is a pretty good Muppet movie. The characters are consistent with their older incarnations, for the most part; Fozzie's "fart shoes" are a little lowbrow for the Muppets, but at least they don't milk that particular goat too much. The celebrity cameos are fun, and there are a bunch of references to the fact that the Muppets aren't exactly close to the zeitgeist. The b-plot (Gary cutting loose from Walter and committing to his relationship with Mary) isn't exactly compelling because Segel is kind of boring next to the Muppets, but Adams is charming as always. I think the movie spends maybe a little too much time on the new characters and not enough with the actual Muppets, but the "get the band back together" goes a long way to establishing them (though not enough time on Rowlf, my favorite Muppet).
The songs are cute, though I'm sad they trimmed Cooper's because it included some backstory. All in all, I think that's too sweet in places, but otherwise a good Muppet movie.
My Grade: B+
Rewatch value: Medium-high
Next up: The Muppets Take Manhattan
Saturday, May 5, 2018
Character Creation: Legend of the Burning Sands
THIS IS MY 1000th POST HERE!
So, if Legend of the Five Rings is a fantasy/historical game set in not-Japan, then Legend of the Burning Sands is its counterpart set in not-the-Middle-East. L5R, as the kids call it, has a looooong and detailed history, tying into a CCG (as the kids call them), and leading to a great big long metaplot that's entirely too much for my addled brain (as the kids call...no, hang on).
All of that said, LBS (that really doesn't sing, it doesn't even have a number!) is playable with just the one book and has some pretty interesting stuff going on. The system is basically the same (you roll dice and keep a certain number, total them, and try to get a high sum), but the names of some traits and what they mean in context changes. So let's get to it.
Elle, over on FB, gave me this song to use as a theme song, and I kinda like it ("Bring Me the Workhorse" by My Brightest Diamond):
Anyway.
The Game: Legend of the Burning Sands
The Publisher: Alderac Entertainment Group
Degree of Familiarity: None; I played Legend of the Five Rings once many years ago.
Books Required: Just the one.
So, if Legend of the Five Rings is a fantasy/historical game set in not-Japan, then Legend of the Burning Sands is its counterpart set in not-the-Middle-East. L5R, as the kids call it, has a looooong and detailed history, tying into a CCG (as the kids call them), and leading to a great big long metaplot that's entirely too much for my addled brain (as the kids call...no, hang on).
All of that said, LBS (that really doesn't sing, it doesn't even have a number!) is playable with just the one book and has some pretty interesting stuff going on. The system is basically the same (you roll dice and keep a certain number, total them, and try to get a high sum), but the names of some traits and what they mean in context changes. So let's get to it.
Elle, over on FB, gave me this song to use as a theme song, and I kinda like it ("Bring Me the Workhorse" by My Brightest Diamond):
It's actually dark as hell; to me it's about wishing so hard to take something back, something that's so unfair that you feel sure that some higher authority has the power to reverse it...but that's not what happens, and we bury the remains of something beautiful because that's all we can do.
That's all very well, but because I don't know the game I can't translate it into anything concrete at the moment, so let's take the step-by-step in the book and see what happens.
Step One: Choose a Faction. All right, cool, get right to the meat of it. Is there a handy list of factions? No, but chapters 2 through 9 of the book (good lord) detail factions. Let's see. Oh, well, shit, I can play an Assassin. I'd like to do that.
Step Two: Choose a Sub-Faction. Assassins have a long, rich history, which I'm not reading carefully, but basically there's betrayal and murder and stuff like you'd expect. Anyway, there are three sub-factions, and the one I like is the Caliphate Guards. These are Assassins that are working for the state, basically; every year, 40 of the City Guard get to demonstrate their skill and best become Assassins. My character is one of those, meaning he'd get assigned to guard some important person. I get a +1 to Perception for my trouble.
Step Three: Choose Character Class. I pretty obviously want to be an Assassin Slayer; I'm a warrior. For my trouble I get +1 Agility, 1.5 Integrity, Acting (Disguise), Athletics, Deceit, Stealth, Underworld, any one weapon Skill, and a free Skill. Neat. I assume I'm Rank One, which would give me the All Shadows Walk in the Light Technique, but I'll have to come back to that.
Step Four(?) Character Points: I put the ? in there because based on the headers, this seems to be a sub-section of Step Three, but that doesn't make any sense because it doesn't flow from Character Class. Anyway, I get 45 points with which to buy things. I start with Rings and Traits at 2, except Agility and Perception, which start at 3. I suppose I should also choose the two Skills I need to choose, huh? I get a Weapon Skill and a free one. I love chain weapons, so I'll take that as my Weapon Skill. For my freebie, I'll take Polearms (hearkening back to my days as a guard).
OK, so now, spending points. I'm gonna leave my Void at 2 because it's expensive and it doesn't tie into Skills. I can't raise Ring ratings (it's the same Rings as in L5R; Earth, Air, Water, Fire). They all start at 2, and the Traits attached start at 2 except the ones I get a bonus in, and I can't raise them past 4.
Ugh. OK, it doesn't say that my Skills start equal to their controlling Trait anywhere (that I can find), but the text implies that they do. The text says that I start with 2 in all Rings and Traits, but not in character creation (it's in the intro when it's explaining what those terms mean). The corresponding section on Skills does not state what Skill ratings you start with. The section on character creation likewise doesn't specify. Likewise, there's no fucking example of chargen, which always annoys me. OMG, what the shit, AEG, did you expect no one to play this game?
OK, well, I don't want to be here all night. Let's assume everything starts at 2. That being the case, I want to raise some things. I think that my Earth traits can stay at 2. I guess there's no way to raise Rings, actually, so they can stay at 2? I can boost Traits, and I think I want higher Agility and Strength. Raising those to 4 and 3, respectively, would cost 16 and 12, or 28 total, out of my 45. Fine. I have 17 left.
Well, I'm gonna leave Acting, Deceit, and Underworld at 2. I'll leave Polearms there, too - it's something he was trained in while a guard, but he's focused on Chains since. If I wanted to raise my other four Skills to 3, that would cost me 12 points. I can do that, it'd leave me 5 left. I'm good with that, I think.
So, Skills have specializations called Emphases, but I can't tell if I get one for free or not. It says that you get one at Rank One, but it's not clear if that's "Rank One" in a Skill or "Rank One" in your class. There is a lot of cross-terminology in this game, and it's hard to keep it all straight; it doesn't help that the lore and setting get a lot of attention while the gameplay aspects seem to take a lot of understanding for granted.
Well, anyway, I have 5 points left. I can take Disadvantages for more, but only 10. I'll do those first.
Aaaaand there's no place to write them. Glorious. Well, I'll put 'em under Mastery Abilities. I'll take Anti-Social, and I'll go ahead and take the 4-point version. It's not that my guy doesn't like people, but like, he has to kill them sometimes, and that means he has trouble relating to non-Assassins. Ooh, I'll take Dark Fate. I'm doomed to some tragic end. I'll take Lost Love; seems to fit my concept. That's 9 points. I'll take a 1-point Phobia of fire (it just raises target numbers when I'm around fire).
OK, so now I've got 15 points. Let's check out Advantages. Ooh, Death Trance. It plays nicely into my Dark Fate. With 12 points remaining, I'll spend them to buy Chain Weapons, Athletics, and Stealth up to 4.
Well, that leaves me Reputation of 1, Status of 1, and Integrity of 1.5, though buggered if I know how to indicate ".5" on this sheet (this is really badly designed). I have to calculate Insight since it determines how to level up. Easy math, it's 120.
Now, interestingly, unlike L5R, LBS doesn't ask me to answer a bunch of character creation questions - in fact, the actual "create a character" portion of the book is really thin. No matter.
Ali was a pretty nondescript City Guard; he was quick and perceptive, but wasn't particularly special. In fact, the reason his superiors knew about him at all was because of his friendship with Kalil. Kalil was another guard, and he and Ali were the best of friends - blood brothers, first into a battle, last out, their love for each other giving the other strength. There were rumors, of course, as to the nature of that "love", but that's not really the important thing - either would have died for the other.
Kalil and Ali were part of a squad that foiled an assassination attempt on a visiting dignitary; the would-be killers weren't Assassins, but mercs for hire, and fled when the Guard showed up. Ali and Kalil got separated, and Ali saw Kalil ambushed, stabbed, and immolated. He heard his friend scream as he burned, and watched him die as he tried to fight his way through the enemies between them.
Ali might have been chosen as one of the 40 to audition to become Assassins because his superiors took pity on him, but whatever the reason, he passed. He's slowly mastering the arts of stealth, movement, and chain weapons - he's never going to be trapped in battle again. Ali fears fire and he wants nothing to do with other people; he's cordial and polite, but never friendly or warm. It's not that he doesn't want to, but he watched what he loved most in the world die in horrible pain, and he doesn't have it in him to go through that again.
Ali is in his late 20s, strong, slim, and dresses like all low-ranking Assassins do. He wears his chain wrapped under his arms and around his waist, and carries a dagger but seldom uses it. Contrary to rumor, he's not seeking revenge. Kalil is dead. He could choke the life out of the men that did it, but to what end? What, really, would that change? Better to do the work he's been chosen to do, and see where life takes him. Ali suspects, in his terrified soul, that destiny is not done with him yet.
There, that's a better character than this book deserves.
Wednesday, May 2, 2018
Promethean: New Story, New City, New Problems
Monday was Promethean. It's a trip....back in time! (Kinda.)
Recall that the throng was headed out from Lexington after witnessing Lurch achieve the New Dawn. This is humbling for all of them - they reflect, on the drive, about how that might affect them when the time comes. Grimm notes that he's feeling his time coming (his Pilgrimage score is high), while Enoch wonders if New Dawn come with redemption for the thing he's done in his life as a Promethean. Avalon muses about being "human" and what that would mean to someone who was built from gears and wax, and Matt wonders if the New Dawn is even open to him, as an Extempore.
They arrive in Columbus and Grimm finds a shady auto dealer. They trade in the RV (which was stolen, remember) for a mini-van; Avalon does the talking and the salesman does the paperwork in a shady sort of manner and she winds up with registration info as well (attached to her alternate ID!). They get in the van and head into town to get pizza, and find themselves sitting near some folks with name badges, one of whom is dressed in a cloak with pointy ears, playing a card game. Feather asks, and they tell her they're attending a gaming convention called Origins this weekend. (In game, it's June 28, 2008. I should also mention that as I'm writing this, the event grid is supposed to go live for Origins 2018, and the site won't load. So, basically, business as usual.)
The Prometheans talk about this. Grimm isn't interesting; games sound boring to him. The rest of the throng, though, is interested - Enoch points out that their interactions in Lexington were mostly with other Prometheans or were violent in nature, and they haven't had a lot of contact with normal people in a while. The other agree; besides, they don't really have any idea what they should be looking for here (the murders they learned about were over a month ago, and they aren't sure if Jesse is still in town).
They finish their pizza and head for the convention center. They buy badges and start wandering around the dealer's hall. Avalon, Matt, and Feather wind up at a corset booth where a woman fits Avalon for a brown leather corset with gears (very steampunky); it's expensive, and Avalon asks the woman to hold it for her. Matt finds some people who recognize him; rather, they point out that he looks just like James Canaday, the actor who used to be on that TV show about vampires who died in a fall shooting a movie in Pennsylvania. He chats with them a few minutes and gets his picture taken.
Skip looks at the boffer weapons a while (and is a little confused), and then winds up at the Geek Chic booth. He decides he could definitely make custom furniture to fund the group's endeavors, but he'd need materials and a place to do it.
Enoch finds a "paint and keep" minis booth and winds up winning a prize (he got an exceptional success on a Crafts roll). Grimm isn't really into any of this, but chats with Virgil, and Virgil says he wants to go play something called "Rising" tonight. Grimm agrees to go; shooting people with Nerf guns sounds fun. Feather buys a couple of board games to play with the throng.
And then we fast forward to evening. Virgil and Grimm have their game, Avalon meets some artists and goes out drinking (she's hoping to get them to fund her corset), Feather hangs out in the Big Bar, Skip and Enoch are hanging near the car (Skip is sketching out a design for a roof-rack), and Matt goes to play in a vampire-themed LARP.
(Please note: It can't be Masquerade or Requiem because that's a little too meta, so maybe Nightlife blew up in this universe and has a LARP version.)
Grimm and Virgil, during their game, notice a door ajar in the basement rooms in the Hyatt, and what looks like a Pilgrim Mark carved into the wall. When the game is over, they go and find Feather, and the three of them sneak in. It's a Pilgrim Mark, all right - "afraid," with a slash through it. So, not afraid? It doesn't look very old, Grimm guesses it was carved within a month. They bring Enoch down there and he uses Plumb the Fathoms to analyze the area, and learns that Jesse carved it - and is still alive.
Meanwhile, Avalon is out drinking. She, of course, can get drunk, but it takes some doing. She winds up dancing on a table at a bar (she's on Cobalus, remember, and is following Deviant), and they wind up getting kicked out. The cops are called, but Avalon smooths things over and suggests they all go back to the hotel to keep drinking.
All in all, the throng is enjoying the con. We'll see what happens next, probably starting with the LARP.
Recall that the throng was headed out from Lexington after witnessing Lurch achieve the New Dawn. This is humbling for all of them - they reflect, on the drive, about how that might affect them when the time comes. Grimm notes that he's feeling his time coming (his Pilgrimage score is high), while Enoch wonders if New Dawn come with redemption for the thing he's done in his life as a Promethean. Avalon muses about being "human" and what that would mean to someone who was built from gears and wax, and Matt wonders if the New Dawn is even open to him, as an Extempore.
They arrive in Columbus and Grimm finds a shady auto dealer. They trade in the RV (which was stolen, remember) for a mini-van; Avalon does the talking and the salesman does the paperwork in a shady sort of manner and she winds up with registration info as well (attached to her alternate ID!). They get in the van and head into town to get pizza, and find themselves sitting near some folks with name badges, one of whom is dressed in a cloak with pointy ears, playing a card game. Feather asks, and they tell her they're attending a gaming convention called Origins this weekend. (In game, it's June 28, 2008. I should also mention that as I'm writing this, the event grid is supposed to go live for Origins 2018, and the site won't load. So, basically, business as usual.)
The Prometheans talk about this. Grimm isn't interesting; games sound boring to him. The rest of the throng, though, is interested - Enoch points out that their interactions in Lexington were mostly with other Prometheans or were violent in nature, and they haven't had a lot of contact with normal people in a while. The other agree; besides, they don't really have any idea what they should be looking for here (the murders they learned about were over a month ago, and they aren't sure if Jesse is still in town).
They finish their pizza and head for the convention center. They buy badges and start wandering around the dealer's hall. Avalon, Matt, and Feather wind up at a corset booth where a woman fits Avalon for a brown leather corset with gears (very steampunky); it's expensive, and Avalon asks the woman to hold it for her. Matt finds some people who recognize him; rather, they point out that he looks just like James Canaday, the actor who used to be on that TV show about vampires who died in a fall shooting a movie in Pennsylvania. He chats with them a few minutes and gets his picture taken.
Skip looks at the boffer weapons a while (and is a little confused), and then winds up at the Geek Chic booth. He decides he could definitely make custom furniture to fund the group's endeavors, but he'd need materials and a place to do it.
Enoch finds a "paint and keep" minis booth and winds up winning a prize (he got an exceptional success on a Crafts roll). Grimm isn't really into any of this, but chats with Virgil, and Virgil says he wants to go play something called "Rising" tonight. Grimm agrees to go; shooting people with Nerf guns sounds fun. Feather buys a couple of board games to play with the throng.
And then we fast forward to evening. Virgil and Grimm have their game, Avalon meets some artists and goes out drinking (she's hoping to get them to fund her corset), Feather hangs out in the Big Bar, Skip and Enoch are hanging near the car (Skip is sketching out a design for a roof-rack), and Matt goes to play in a vampire-themed LARP.
(Please note: It can't be Masquerade or Requiem because that's a little too meta, so maybe Nightlife blew up in this universe and has a LARP version.)
Grimm and Virgil, during their game, notice a door ajar in the basement rooms in the Hyatt, and what looks like a Pilgrim Mark carved into the wall. When the game is over, they go and find Feather, and the three of them sneak in. It's a Pilgrim Mark, all right - "afraid," with a slash through it. So, not afraid? It doesn't look very old, Grimm guesses it was carved within a month. They bring Enoch down there and he uses Plumb the Fathoms to analyze the area, and learns that Jesse carved it - and is still alive.
Meanwhile, Avalon is out drinking. She, of course, can get drunk, but it takes some doing. She winds up dancing on a table at a bar (she's on Cobalus, remember, and is following Deviant), and they wind up getting kicked out. The cops are called, but Avalon smooths things over and suggests they all go back to the hotel to keep drinking.
All in all, the throng is enjoying the con. We'll see what happens next, probably starting with the LARP.
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