Dragon Age: The Finale in Which No One Got Stabbed

No, really.

When we last saw our infamous group of intrepid ijits, they were on a boat to Rialto, for a brief stopover on their way to Llomerynn. Pulling into the docks, they have a quick convo about their plans.

Sinda wants to get off the boat, stretch legs, get a bite to eat, but Vedi, ever the Chronic Overthinker, wonders if this is wise. The four of them discuss the possibilities, and Kalendra says she needs to go ashore and refill her tea stashes anyway (and she like to buy tea in new cities; it's kinda how she experiences the world). Nakkim is all for it, being an adventurous sort anyway, and Sinda talks Vedi into it with his infectious brand of optimism ("Everything Will Be OK"). 

They do decide against splitting up, however. They go ashore and immediately note that there's a guard presence, but that's not necessarily abnormal. One of the guards notices Vedi (Qunari aren't subtle and there aren't many of them around) and questions him, but Kalendra steps in and gets the guards talking about tea. Sinda (keeping his hood up, since he's not sure if he's still wanted here) asks if that nice little tea house down the block is still open, and the guards say that it is, though the proprietor's kids run it now. 

Kalendra keeps the guards talking while Vedi and Sinda dip into an alley, and they all meet up at the tea house. Kalendra buys her stuff, and then Sinda suggests finding a dive bar. "What's the difference between a dive bar and normal bar?" Vedi asks. "The odor," answers Nakkim.

They do indeed find a dive near the docks, and Sinda buys a bottle of cheap booze and a basket of fried...things. He gets back to the table about the time Kalendra is warning Vedi not to eat the food in a dive bar, but Sinda doesn't seem bothered by the fried...objects ("they're...chewy. Huh"). Sinda also explains that if you hear the telltale "ert" noise of a barstool being kicked back, there's about to be a barfight.

Vedi asks about how involved one should get in such things and how lethal they are, and Sinda says that while barfights do tend to spread, the best thing to do is to back up and watch, and if you do get involved, don't escalate (that is, punching is fine, but if someone pull out a weapon things have officially gone to another level). There is a barfight while they're there, but it's pretty pathetic as these things go (seems to be an argument over what one man said about another's sister, but they're so drunk they don't do more than aggressively hug).

The wanderers end the night at a roadside establishment that sells fried legs of some kind, probably turkey, glazed in honey and spices, and they head back to the ship as the tide rises. The climb aboard, having managed to avoid trouble, and the ship sails on to Llomerynn, the worst behind them. Maybe we'll catch up with them later, when the worst manages to find them.

FIN

Dragon Age: A Quick Check-In

Last night we played Dragon Age, for the first time in forever, as the song goes. It was quick, which is just as well, because today is Oscars Eve and I have shit to do. 

Our heroes, having successfully pulled off the heist of the magical (?) breastplate, plan their next move. Lucanis Della Morte (whom Sinda refers to as "the anus guy") is still on their tails (on their butts, you might say) and they need to move along. They decide to pull a bit of a bait-and-switch. 

Kalendra uses the little coin they found during the heist to hire a carriage to take four people further east, inland, and spreads word that that's where the four of them are going...but here's the clever bit, they don't actually get on the carriage! Instead, they quietly sneak out of town at about the same time and head south, toward Afsaana. 

They camp for the night near the coast, and Sinda rustles up some cockles, which Kalendra then cooks for them ("you can just eat them raw," notes Sinda, and Vedi obligingly pops one into his maw whole). They take watches, but nothing of note happens since they're actually being subtle, and in the morning they head into town.

Kalendra finds them a nice spot to get some lunch, where they can see and have escape routes, and Sinda works the crowd as a cutpurse (everyone is concerned that he's going to attract attention, seeing as how he's an Antivan Crow Washout, but apparently pick-pocketing wasn't what he washed out for because he comes back with some fat coin purses).

Nakkim goes and hires them passage on the Belle of the Ball, a cargo ship bound for Rialto and then on to Llomerynn (Kalendra's home town). The captain pretty much tells them to stay out of the way and everything will be fine, and on the morrow they find themselves sailing into Rialto! Which, coincidentally, is Sinda's home town. He offhandedly mentions that he's pretty sure he's not still wanted in Rialto.

"Wanted for what?" inquires Nakkim.

"I can't remember if they draw a distinction between murder and manslaughter in Rialto," Sinda muses. "It was a kind of quick-draw sort of bet, and I missed, and the guy was the brother or boyfriend or cousin or something of a town bailiff. It was real messy. But Rialto's a fun town, we should-"

"NO," says Kalendra. "We'll get off to get supplies, but we're not getting off to do fun stuff because we're not going to be in port that long."

"Fine," sulks Sinda. The Belle pulls into Rialto, and this promises to be a quick, easy stop with no surprises.

Dragon Age: Can't Have "Heist" Without "Ice"

Last night we returned to the world of Thedas, and in a twist, nobody got stabbed!

Our heroes (so to speak) arrive at the town of Ayseleigh, on the eastern coast of Rivain, in a little bay on the southern end of this rather oddly shaped nation. The intent is not to spend a lot of time here - they're planning to get Veddi to the colony of Qunari up north, and there are already people on their tail. Kalendra, native to this country if not this town, sends the other three on to find lodging and goes to check in with her fellow Tempests.

Her local lodge-master, Spyke, informs her that their little incident crossing into Rivain has raised some eyebrows, and Lucanis Della Morte is either on the way or sending folks. They have probably 36 hours, to be safe. Kalendra says that's fine, they just need to rest, resupply, and hit the road.

Meanwhile, the other three - Sinda, Veddi, and Nakkim - have found a tavern called the Roasted Spud ("why don't fantasy settings have potato-themed pubs more often?"). Kalendra finds them fairly contented; Sinda is digging into his third bowl of fish chowder ("this is amazing. It sticks to the ribs"), Nakkim makings eyes on the bartender, Lila, and quaffing the house ale, and Veddi nibbling a raw potato cautiously. She tells them the situation and there's a brief discussion about how to proceed - overland or get a boat - but Veddi says he would prefer to take the faster route (overland). If anyone comes for them, well, so be it. (It is possible that Veddi has something of a chip on his draconian shoulder.)

But then Sinda reminds them that they have a lead on a treasure here in Ayesleigh - the fabled Breastplate of Berengran (which he variously refers to as the "Breastplate of Bears," the "Bearstplate," or the "Bear's Plate" if he's not paying attention). Kalendra points out that stealing from rich people is, while lucrative, the sort of thing that draws notice which is the thing they don't want to do. Sinda counters, however, that a) it would be fun and b) they promise not to steal anything that needs to be fenced. It's a rich dude's house, they'll just steal the breastplate and any loose cash or easily tradable valuables. Kalendra can't fault this logic, so they start preparing for a heist! And shopping!

They secure rooms at the Spud, and then split up into the town's markets. Sinda gets his knives sharpened, Kalendra goes to buy tea, Veddi gets a new cloak cut (his is a tatterdemalion pieced together in prison), and Nakkim asks around about the house they're going to hit. It turns out that some years ago, a team of thieves tried to steal the Breastplate, but none of them were ever heard from again. However, there's no reports of guard activity at that house, so the security seems to be internal, lock-based, that kind of thing. 

The characters reconvene and talk this through. Sinda suggests a daring ice-based water approach, but that gets shot down as being impractical. But, there is an entrance to the house from the beach (kind of a loading dock), and Sinda notes that there's a species of dolphin native to this bay that "sings" at night, making a lot of noise that might cover any that they make getting in (creating the advantage Loud Dolphins; I love FATE). They flip up their hoods and head for the house!

(As a side note, one of the things I love about a gaming group that's mostly familiar with Blades in the Dark is that it reduces the tendency to overthink the planning stages of a heist. Fuck it, we'll flashback later if we need to!)

So! The crew sneaks up to the loading bay door. There's no external lock, but it's clearly barred from the inside. Veddi freezes the door and Nakkim smashes it with his mace (again, the dolphins helpfully cover the noise), and the characters enter the storage area. It's pretty deserted; no evidence of humans, although Sinda checks for rats and those little guys are still around (if everything living is gone from a structured, vermin included, you want to really rethink if what you're doing is worth it). 

They search the area and Kalendra finds a secret door. Sinda pops it open (he is, after all, an Antivan Crow Washout, and he was taught how to pop locks), and they find themselves faced with a hallway that just gives off a terrible sense of menace. Veddi stops them ("don't you feel that?"), and conjures up an ice wall, pushing it down the hallway like a bulldozer, and it sets off all manner of blades, flames, and wire traps. 

Kalendra, perhaps a little impatient (and after all, Looking is for Witnesses) heads into the hallway, and immediately trips a magical trap, probably designed to freeze her in place. She powers through, though, rolling to her feet, and the foreboding sense goes away. They all head down the hallway and find, at the end, a Very Serious Door. This thing is made of hardwood, metal, and stone, and has both an immense keyhole and a combination lock. Clearly this is the vault they're looking for. 

Nakkim and Sinda head upstairs to search for the key, while Veddi and Kalendra start working on the combination lock. Kalendra mixes up some very potent tea which, aside from making one's eyes dilate and one's heart race, also sharpens the senses. Veddi sends tiny tendrils of ice into the works, rigging up a kind of switch that jiggles when the tumblers align, and together they start working the vault.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Sinda and Nakkim look around and determine that this place has been empty for years, probably - thick dust, empty closets. Nothing valuable left, unfortunately, but Sinda does find the key, it just takes a while. They head back downstairs and with Sinda's help and light fingers, they manage to crack the vault and open the door.

It's hardly the McDuckian trove they were hoping for - mostly it's military medals and the like, stuff with no street value. The Breastplate of Berengrand is there on a table, easily the mostly valuable thing here. Actually, maybe a little out of place. No matter, Kalendra grabs it...and iron bars slam into place over the door. 

Veddi panics a bit, but Sinda points out there's no alarm - they can break out, and they can even take their time. He examines the triggering mechanism on the pedestal to check where to poke, Nakkim jams the head of a spear into the bars to give them a little Leverage, and Kalendra brews more of the Stimulating Tea, and Veddi sends ice into the works and pushes the bars back up. Nakkim puts on the Breastplate and covers it with his tunic, and the crew walks back into Ayesleigh proper as the sun rises, no one the wiser.

Dragon Age: Out-stabbing in Our Field

Been a while due to the wilds and woolly whims of fate, but here we are back in the land of Thedas!

Our heroes (and I use that term somewhat loosely) trek overland, avoiding roads, heading for the border of Antiva and Rivain. Sinda has decided to very much follow Kalendra's lead going forward, since his big mouth kinda got people in trouble last time. Vedi, of course, is adamant that no matter what, he's not going back into prison.

The characters approach the border, and are approached by a man in what you might call a ramshackle, cobbled-together looking uniform. He asks who the characters are and where they're going, and Kalendra turns those questions right back on him. He claims to be the kind of hired guard for the Della Morte family from the city of Treviso, doing a bit of security. Kalendra points out that they're not in Treviso, that she's from Rivain, these are her friends, and she's headed home, so thnxbye.

The dude doesn't let it go, however, and four more people appear from the brush, one of whom is an elf standing a ways off. The guard tells them that a group of people fitting their description (looking pointedly at Vedi) has been spotted in the area and is wanted for discussion, and maybe they'd better just go with him.

Things get tense. Vedi glares, and frost starts to form around his nostrils. Sinda glances worriedly between Kalendra, Vedi, and the guard (his name is Ravad, if you're interested). Nakkim fingers his mace, which sounds really dirty. 

Kalendra tells Ravad that they'll be moving on, thanks all the same, and moves to do so. The elf (her name is Noa, if you're interested) bolts, clearly planning on bringing back reinforcements or otherwise snitching. Vedi snaps, and starts calling up ice. 

Noa is fast, but the ground is rocky and so she can't quite get out of sight before Vedi freezes her feet to the ground. Kalendra hurls a potion into the midst of the guards, and Sinda, following her lead, vanishes into the smoke like a phantom! He sneaks between the guards and spots one handily, but then backs up into the other. 

Meanwhile, Ravad tries to blunder his way out of the smoke, but just gets lost. The last guard draws a sword and charges at Vedi, intending to bonk him with the flat of the blade, but Vedi blocks it with a quick sheath of ice. Nakkim smashes through the ice and knocks the dude back with his mace, and the battle is joined!

Sinda spins, sees the other guard, makes a very dignified sound like "AAH!" and stabs the guard to death. The body falls, and the second guard (the one Sinda actually spotted before) closes on him, but Sinda is too quick to be stabbed! (It's also possibly that he just tripped in the right direction.) Nakkim and Vedi take on the sword-wielding dude and exchange some blows, but then Vedi gets fed up, grabs his throat, and conjures ice shards. (From somewhere across the multiverse, a whisper: "VEDI WINS! FATALITY!")

Ravad finds his way out of the smoke and rounds on Nakkim, and Kalendra scampers off after Noa. She gets close and downs a potion to make her fast, but Noa manages to free herself and isn't interesting in staying to fight. She runs off again, Kalendra pursues, and Vedi starts to summon up more ice, but being a Chronic Overthinker doesn't want to accidentally hit Kalendra. Noa escapes the area.

Meanwhile, Sinda and the other guard trade feints and thrusts, but neither one manages a blow. Sinda grabs a handful of flowers from the meadow, crushes them in his hand and flings the resulting oil and petals into the dude's face. The merc's eyes and lips immediately puff up and go red, and at that point Ravad calls a general retreat. "This didn't have to get violent!" he exclaims.

Vedi sits down heavily and starts bleeding off the excess heat (when you make ice, the heat has to go somewhere). Sinda asks if he can make water or just ice, and Vedi considers and then conjures up some water ("it's all just humidity, I guess"), so Sinda can wash the blood and flower oil off his hands. 

The characters can get across the border into Rivain, but now there are probably more people from Treviso after them, and the Della Morte family is definitely interested. The motley continues on, discussing the spicy fish soup that is the signature dish of this part of Rivain, and explaining the wonders of the versatile "potato" to Vedi ("They're great!" says Sinda. "So much you can do with them. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew...")

Dragon Age: I Owe These Idiots My Life

Tonight we played a game based on Dragon Age, run by my bestie Gus in their inaugural foray into the GM's chair! Very exciting. We used the Fate Accelerated system, since that's what Gus is most familiar with. Meet the characters!

Kalendra is a Tempest! She's a mercenary working for a company called the "Azure Thorns." She loves a good cup of tea.

Nakkim is a dwarf warrior, working his way back to the city of Seere and the lovely lady he left behind. This doesn't stop him flirting with any other pretty face on the way, of course.

Sinda "Red Hands" is...well, he was training to be an Antivan Crow, and washed out. Sinda is friendly, chatty, and perhaps the unluckiest human being on the planet.

Veddi is a Qunari mage specializing in ice magic. Up until recently, he was a slave in Saharan, but was rescued by the other three characters (this was 100% not their intent, but it was a nice bonus). 

And now the four of them are heading to Rivain and the promise of freedom. Veddi has heard of a Qunari settlement where he'll be free and welcome. Kalendra is from Llomerryn in the south of Rivain, and ultimately wants to go home. Nakkim, as we've said, is looking to get to Seere, and Sinda is just going where the wind takes him. 

Our heroes take a boat to the northern coast of Antiva, near White Spire, and travel overland to the town of Brynnlaw. Sinda greets everyone they pass on the road - it feels rude not to - which has Kalendra kinda gritting her teeth by the time they hit town. Nakkim and Veddi find them an inn while Kalendra goes to check in with her company. Sinda tags along for moral support.

They arrive at the warehouse that serves as a front for the Azure Thorns, which is being used to house lots of wool. This is rather unfortunate, as Sinda is very allergic to sheep. His face gets puffy and he sneezes continually, but the Azure Thorn in charge, one Barv, is very understanding ("happens all the time"). He informs Kalendra that she may have attracted some attention from folks who aren't thrilled about losing a Qunari. She takes note, and decides that they'll get some rest, resupply, and head out.

Meanwhile, Nakkim and Veddi settle down for a drinking in the Princess Nug, a bar on the edge of town. Nakkim gets a small room for resting purposes, and they chat a bit about alcohol and the imbibing thereof, and then a dwarf starts running his mouth about "the Breastplate of Beregrand." Supposedly it's in the coastal house of a rich dude, and this guy knows its there because there was a job involving someone called Hollix and he steals from rich people...anyway, if these big strong folks could get it, perhaps that'd be worth a finder's fee?

"I said I'd buy you a drink for your story," says Nakkim, and leaves it at that. Neither of them really believe this guy, anyway.

Kalendra and Sinda find the Princess Nug (because Sinda asks everyone "Hey, you seen a dwarf and a Qunari?"). Kalendra calls for hot water, and explains the best way to drink tea and that only children drink it with sugar (Nakkim stirs in sugar and says "I don't want to hear it"). Sinda is fascinated by the idea that hot water reviving tea leaves is like necromancy. Kalendra also explains the danger and that they'll need to head out. Sinda and Veddi go upstairs to rest, and Nakkim and Kalendra go out to resupply.

While out, they see gossip spreading (it's pretty easy; people get chatty and then kids run off to spread the word). Nakkim snags a kid and asks for the news. It turns out that a local Lord of Fortune, one Lucanis Della Morte, is coming to town and might well be looking for someone. That's almost certainly Veddi, so the characters head back to the Nug.

Nakkim heads upstairs and opens the door, which gets his feet frozen to the floor (Veddi) and a knife in the door above his head (Sinda). ("Next time I'll knock!") He gets them moving and the characters head out into the woods, trying to stay ahead of the Crows. Kalendra mentions Lucanis, and Sinda confirms that he is, in fact, a dick. But he's a dick with an enthusiasm for stabbing, so yeah, better to keep moving.

They head out into the wilds, stay off the main roads, and put some distance between themselves and Brynnlaw. They camp at the base of a hill, and Sinda takes first watch (Veddi stays awake, too, since he doesn't fully trust Sinda not to fall asleep or get distracted by something shiny, which, like, fair enough). They hear some rustling in the bushes, and Sinda flings a dagger at the tree above the bushes, breaking the bark and sending a cascade of beetles tumbling down onto the intruder. They hear a muffled "shit!" and Veddi wakes up Nakkim and Kalendra.

A man steps out of the bushes and introduces himself as Hollix. He informs the characters that there are mercenaries and Crows after them - folks are looking for a team of four people, one a cheerful and friendly klutz, one a dwarf with a mace, and one a Qunari (Sinda: "Aw, they didn't say anything about you, Kalendra." Kalendra: "Yes, that's what I'm going for." Sinda: "ohhhhhh, I get it"). 

They put out their fire and get some sleep, rising before dawn as they hear commotion on the road. They avoid the main roads and the people traveling them during the day, but as the early morning light fades  they head up a rise they hear someone hiding in the trees. They stop, bracing for battle, and two Crow apprentices step out of the trees.

Sinda hurls a dagger at one and misses; it sticks in a tree near his head. The Crow scoffs, but Kalendra throws down a Fire Flask and conjures up a smoke screen. Nakkim and Veddi both burst from the smoke - Nakkim bonks one in the head with the hilt of his mace, and Veddi conjures a chain of ice around the other's neck and slams his face into the ground. Both apprentices incapacitated, Kalendra urges them to move on - just because they spotted these guys doesn't mean there aren't other, less incompetent pursuers near. 

Veddi expresses concern at leaving behind living witnesses, but none of the characters are really comfortable killing helpless foes. Sinda steals the Crows' daggers and cuts their clothes off, though, just to slow them down. 

And with that, the strange company moves on toward Ayesleigh.