Character Creation: Gobblin'

FOR THE SIXTH GAME OF XMAS, TWENTY-TWENTY-FOUR,
SIX GOBLINS GOBBLIN',
UGH, FINE, GAME OF THRONES!
FOUR NESTING BIRDS,
THREE VELVET GENS,
TWO SONGBIRDS,
AND BARD THE RPG!

The Game: Gobblin'
The Publisher: Drunk and Ugly Games
Degree of Familiarity: None, but it ain't complicated
Books Required: Just the one

For this special Xmas Day episode of...character creation, we have Gobblin', because that's as far as I got on my "12 Games of Xmas" thing before today. Very complicated.

Anyway, Gobblin' is a simple enough premise. In some no doubt very exciting fantasy world, the magic-users got together and cast a spell that banished all the goblins to another dimension because, like, they're goblins, fuck those guys. The goblins wound up on Earth, kinda, but it's post-nuclear war so everything's been destroyed and there are no actual people left, and the goblins immediately viewed this as a blessing because CHECK IT OUT NEW STUFF TO BREAK.

I'm of two minds about Gobblin'. On the one hand, I really like the premise - it's fun, it's simple, it's giving vibes of Kobolds Ate My Baby and HoL and games that take some of the underlying assumptions of RPGs (or rather, let's be real, Dungeons & Dragons) and poke at them a bit.

On the other hand...I dunno. It's cute, but it's trying so hard to be funny. Sometimes it manages, sometimes it feels a little overwritten. Humor is hard, brevity is the soul of wit, and I think this game could have benefited from trimming about a third of the page count and leaning a little harder into the absurdity of the premise and spending a little less time telling us about the absurdity of the premise.

For all that, though, it's never offensive and it doesn't dwell on easy stereotypes, so props for that. And like, I think the game would be a lot of fun to play, it just wasn't as much fun to read as I was hoping. But I do find myself thinking about the City of Dave (wherein a lone goblin named "Dave" cloned himself accidentally and now when other goblins show up to trade, they get received a lot more warmly if they're also Dave; "Be you Friend? Enemy? Or Dave?") and so forth. There's some good stuff in here, is m'point.

Let's making a goblin!

(Oh, there's a fillable character sheet, which is always a big plus in my book. Oh, and the PDF is bookmarked! It's a Xmas Miracle!)

Stats, then. I'm to "see below." I have seen Below, it's a good movie. Anyway, I get 13 points to spread out betwixt 6 stats (system is roll a d12 and add your stat; they go from 0 to 5). So what kind of goblin would I like to make? There's a "subspecies" of goblins called "woolies" that barely speak the goblin tongue, and that sounds fun, so I'll play into the yeti-like nature of such creatures. That sounds like I want Bash to be high. I have to have Know of 1 and either Run or Brave of 3. So I'll put Brave and Bash at 4, Know at 1, Jerk at 3, Run at 1, and leave Laugh at 0 (my woolie is not funny. He thinks he's hilarious). 

His Specialty is Woolie, that's easy. The sheet says "Class", not "Specialty," but whatever, editing is hard. 

HP is Brave + 5, so 9. Defense is...I don't know, actually. The Defense paragraph doesn't tell me, it just says that faster goblins have better Defense, so it should be based on Fast, but who knows? Anyway.

Argh. I have a Courage stat, but there's no slot for it on the sheet. GUYS. Anyway, I get some benefits from being Woolly. I get a bonus to Defense because of my shaggy coat, and I get a bonus to Courage rolls caused by something visual because my hair hangs in my eyes and what you can't see can't scare you!

However, I take a penalty to actually try to see things, and I only know six words in Goblin (which I decide are: drink, fight, eat, goblin, ugly, stupid). Everything else is produced in his guttural language with a lot of /u/ sounds. 

I don't get any Perks, but I get a set of armor and two items. Well, I want Imaginary Armor (which, if asked, my woolly goblin would refer to as "BARARAGHHAL"). That gives Defense (oh, here it is!) of 6 + Run, and +2 Brave because I know my totally real armor will save me. 

Two "items," sure, but the only ones listed are weapons, so he's got a club and a big sword. No slot for weapons on the sheet so it can't be that important. 

And that's it! My goblin's name is Oongoos. He's big and shaggy and has lovely blue eyes that no one ever really sees because his hair hangs in his eyes. OOGH-ARGHG EAT STUPID ARRAOO! MERR CRIMMAS!