Character Creation: Print the Legend

 Oh, hey, a Wild West RPG, been a while since-

Oh, no

The Game: Print the Legend
The Publisher: Hawvermale Paper & Pen
Degree of Familiarity: None
Books Required: Just the one

Actually, my first red flag here was this:

It's not been unusual of late for RPGs to acknowledge whose land the game was written on; sovereignty was never ceded and all that. And so seeing an RPG that just flat-out says "Indians," treats them like orcs, and gives you rules for sweat lodges is a bit of cold water in the lap. Oh, and then this:

So like, yeah, not great.

But you know, beyond all of that, the game is just boring. It's nothing but a percentile system hung on a Wild West setting - not even a setting, just "go roleplay in the Wild West." The game lists a bunch of other such games in its bibliography, and I keep thinking, "yeah, other people did it first, so why are you here?"

Well, I'm here to make a character, my tenth for the month! I'm on fire!

Anyway. Stats are randomly generated, which, like, is my favorite thing (NOT). D6 for the tens digit, d10 for the ones, gives us a result of between 10 and 69...wait, is that right? Oh, no, you then add 10. So 20 to 79. Cool. We're doing this four times, to generate Strength, Coordination, Intelligence, and Willpower. It doesn't say if I have to do it in order, but let's assume I do, that's very much the vibe I get off this game.

56, 25, 37, 23. That's two scores with "severe impairment" according to the book, and one clearly below average. Hey, game writer, what happens if the dice fuck you? No word. Some games at least throw you a bone if you roll badly.

Well, let's just go with it, because it'll be over faster and it's not like I'd ever play this game. Let's put my 25 and 23 into Strength and Coordination, respectively, my 56 into Willpower, and my 37 into Intelligence. My character is named Sunday. He was born on a Sunday (if he'd been born on Monday, his name would be Solomon Grundy). His mother died shortly after he was born, his father was long gone, the doctor who delivered him was very, very drunk and when the priest at the orphanage asked his name, the doctor answered the wrong question and said "Sunday." So here we are. Sunday John. 

Reflex is the average of Coordination and Intelligence (30), Movement is the average of Strength and Coordination (24), and Luck is generated like the first four, but then divided by 3, so 49/3 or 16, which the book tells me is average.

Ugh, and then the book does this thing I hate where it veers off and tells me about how the system works, rather than letting me finish chargen. Good, I'd hate to find something I like now. 

All right, the overly granular skill system gives me a number of skills based on the total of my Attributes (ooh, I do get a booby prize for having shit stats. That's very realistic, because people with global impairments are known for being widely skilled). I get 10 fucking Skills. There's no abbreviated list, so I just have to scroll through this ginormous section and pick what I want. So what is Sunday "good" at?

Animal Training
Cow Handling (this is based on Coordination so I'm gonna be shit at it, but c'est la vie)
Fishing (there's a system for fishing. Basically a minigame)
Mimicry
Orienteering
Riding
Roping
Scouting
Shotgun
Survival

There are 9 slots for Skills on the character sheet. Good job, guys. 

Traits! I can take 5 points of traits, but I have to balanced them with disadvantages. There is no section on the sheet for traits. Good job, guys.

Jesus christ

OK, skipping this. It's optional and I just don't care. 

Y'know what, that'll do it. The last thing is equipment and it's up the GM, which I don't have, and I don't care.

So. Sunday John is short, skinny, and weak. He's got a good heart and he'll stand up for himself, you know, a little. He left the orphanage because a local rancher needed people for a cattle drive, and he figured he'd learn as he goes. He's got patchy brown hair, he squints, and he's prone to getting stones in his shoes. PRINT THE LEGEND!