The Santa Clause is a Christmas comedy starring Tim Allen, David Krumholtz, Wendy Crewson, Judge Reinhold, Eric Lloyd, and Peter Boyle.
Scott Calvin (Allen) is a divorced toy company exec whose only character trait is "kind of a dick." He's apparently good at this job, but his relationship with his ex-wife Laura (Crewson) and her new husband Neal (Reinhold) is strained at best, mostly because he can't go two sentences without insulting someone, usually Neal. His son Charlie (Lloyd) loves his dad, but is pretty sour at having to spend Christmas with him - and why wouldn't he be? Scott is utterly unprepared for having his kiddo there for Xmas, and he really seems to be put out by the whole situation.
(An aside: I actually teared up during this movie, not because the movie deserves it, but because it made me angry to see a dad with a young child being so unenthused about spending time with said child. I love the young men my kids are becoming, but I also really miss them being smaller. And I hate the incompetent dad trope. Anyway.)
But then Santa Claus lands on the roof with the stealth of a drunk hippo, Scott spots him and he falls off the roof and dies, and his body vanishes. A card in his pocket says to put on his suit and "the reindeer will know what to do," Scott does, the sleigh takes off, and Scott spends the night delivering presents and winds up at the North Pole. At this point, harried head elf Bernard (Krumholtz) drops the other shoe: By putting on the suit, Scott has agreed to become the new Santa Claus, giving up his old life forever. (See, it's the clause on the card and it's about Santa, get it?!)
The rest of the movie is Scott getting fat and physically becoming Santa, while his attitude wavers between Santa-like good cheer and his usual dickery. Finally Xmas rolls around again, he kidnaps Charlie and takes him Santa-ing, gets arrested, escapes with the help of elves, and reveals himself to the world (well, to Charlie's neighborhood) before flying off, to all a good night.
You know, the premise of this movie could have worked. As it is, it's not a terrible watch, and there are a couple of funny bits. The problem is Scott. Part of the issue is that Tim Allen is terrible at being sympathetic, but most of it is that Scott doesn't have any personality beyond "douchebag." I found myself thinking of Jim Carrey in Liar Liar, who's kind of a similar dude, but he at least had some obvious vice - he was horny, he was ambitious, and he was a pathological liar, but he obviously loved his son and tried to balance his home and work life. Scott, meanwhile, just...doesn't seem to care? He's just mean to his wife's husband for no reason (and, total aside, but what the fuck is up with Charlie's teacher not knowing what to call Neal? Did the word "stepfather" not exist in 1994?), but there's nothing there to balance it out except "wants his son to believe in Santa Claus." But, y'know, a reindeer farts, so, lol.
I have the usual complaints about a Santa Claus movie; if he leaves presents in houses (including big stuff - a kayak, toy trucks, a freaking puppy), then why isn't his existence common knowledge? This isn't usually a big deal, but the movie makes such a fuss about how adults don't believe in magic and how believing in something with no evidence is a good thing - but then there's plenty of evidence.
Mostly, I think someone noticed the homophone "clause/Claus" and decided to make a whole movie around it, without really thinking anything through. No idea if the sequels improve anything.
My Grade: D+
Rewatch Value: Low
Next up: Saw II
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