Character Creation: Barbarians Vs.

[insert barbarous scream here]

The Game: Barbarians Versus
The Publisher: Precis Intermedia
Degree of Familiarity: None, but it looks fun, simple and intriguing.
Books Required: Just this PDF thingie, evidently. 

 
You played a crazed barbarian fighting lizard-man aliens. When you roll a 10, you have to grunt or shout a battle cry.

Yeah, I can get behind this.

Step One: Choose Your Barbarian Name. There's a helpful list, but eh. I want a name that follows the phrase, "Run! Run for your lives! Here comes ______________!"

Hmm. Ru'ak. I like apostrophes. "Run! Here comes Ru'ak!" Yeah, that works.

Step Two: Choose clan. Actually, it's less "choose" and more "make up." Barbarians are descended of divinity and can therefore gain a bonus die when they take some special action, once per session.

Ru'ak is of the Bleeding Tree Clan. His clan's legendry states that his ancestor chased a malevolent demon to the ends of the earth. To escape the barbarian, the demon turned itself into a tree, and the barbarian still beat it until it bled. Today, the Bleeding Tree Clan is known as the clan you do not want to piss off. Not because they're all mighty warriors (barbarians are, in general) but because once a Bleeding Tree marks you, he'll follow you until the ends of the earth. The clan is also known for their skill in forestry and woodworking. Once per day, a member of the clan invoke their clan founder's tenacity and gain a bonus die to any action.

Step Three: Attributes, Abilities and Items.

OK, I get 20 points for Attributes, and then 20 to split between Abilities and Items. Let's roll. Attributes first.

Smash is my ability to break, smash and lift. Throw is my ability to throw, Feet is how fast and nimble I am, Craftiness helps me make traps, and Contemplating is making us of the large thing between my ears ("Oh, your nose."). Amusingly, the book advises I raise these "as much as possible." Which means what, author, don't leave any points unspent?

Anyway, I start with 1 in all of them. I'll pump 6 into Smash and 7 into Craftiness, because as a Bleeding Tree I'm good with wood (huh-huh). My remaining 7 I'll split evenly, with the extra point going to Throw.

Abilities are nifty little feat-like things, and they cost 5 points each. I'll take Double Down; if I attack at a penalty with Smash, I also damage a random enemy. I'll rename that effect to "Deadly Shrapnel". I'll also take Double Damage; Bleeding Tree barbarians train by beating trees until either the tree falls or the barbarian does (I'll call that "Tree-Breaking Strike").

That's 10 points gone; I'll use the other 10 for items. I can only have one 5-point item, since those are legendary. I'll buy one - the Demon-Tree Club. Obviously, it's a club made from the tree that my illustrious ancestor beat down. It cackles maniacally when I use it to bust heads. I'll two a 2-point chopping ax (can't beat them down all the time), a set of shaping tools (1 point) and a length of rope (2 points).

Step Four: Guts and Grit. Guts indicates how much damage I take before I croak. It's Smash + Throw + Craftiness x2, or 38. Grit is reserves of luck and fortitude, and it's Feet + Contemplating, or 6 in my case.

Step Five: What Your Barbarian Bleeds For. I pick three things that really get Ru'ak's blood pumping, besides killing aliens and bringing honor and glory to his clan. These can be people, events or causes, whatever.

Well, Ru'ak loves the forests, but hates the trees. It's a quandary, to be sure. He'll fight for his forests, because it's going to be his mighty hands that make the fucking trees bleed.

Ru'ak has an enemy - Mlar the Silent. A barbarian from a rival clan, Mlar doesn't run when he sees Ru'ak coming. He doesn't do anything but stand and stare. Ru'ak suspects he might be deaf, but hates him all the same.

And, finally, Ru'ak loves his Mama. He even has the rune for "Mom" tattoo/etched/scarred on his mighty biceps. His Mama can snap a stout branch just by looking at it, man.

Step Six: What Your Barbarian Whimpers For. Well, no one's perfect.

Ru'ak is afraid of bugs. Bees especially. They move so fast! You can't smash them!

Also, he's terrified of open water. Little streams are OK, and even swimming holes, but don't ask Ru'ak to get on a boat. There are bugs in that water.

Last, Ru'ak can't abide flattery. Rather, he's highly susceptible to it. He gets the -2 penalty when someone tries to butter him up.

Step Seven: War Cry.

Pretty obvious, right? Hmm. This merits some consideration.

"Timber!" is an obvious one, maybe too obvious. "Fuck the trees!" isn't bad, but let's try and keep it PG rated.

"For Blood and Splinters!" There we go.