Movie #603: Robin Hood

Robin Hood, in this case, is an animated retelling of the titular hero's quest to protect the poor from the machinations of the evil Prince John and stars Brian Bedford, Peter Ustinov, Phil Harris, Roger Miller, Terry Thomas, Monica Evans, and Andy Devine. 

The story begins already in progress. Richard is off on a Crusade, while John (Ustinov), his sniveling, thumb-sucking, really queer-coded brother is running the kingdom into the ground with the help of his serpentine majordomo Sir Hiss (Thomas) and the jolly but predatory Sheriff of Nottingham (Pat Buttram). Robin Hood (Bedford) and his pal Baloo Little John (Harris) are robbing the rich to give the poor, making use of disguise and chicanery rather than combat. 

From there it's more or less the same story. The archery competition to trap Robin Hood, Prince John squeezing the peasantry until everyone is in debtor's prison (doesn't seem a sustainable model, but hey), and a climactic finale in which things catch fire. What is kind of different here is that Richard's return doesn't happen onscreen. The narrator (Miller) just tells us that he came back and put everything right, John is breaking rocks in prison, and Robin marries Marian (Evans).

This movie came out during the kind of dark period of Disney animation, and includes a bunch of recycled animation from earlier projects. That in itself isn't a big problem, but the movie feels more like a series of TV episodes than a feature film. I say this about earlier Disney stuff a lot, but there's no arc for any character, really, it's just a kind of sweet, occasionally funny retelling of a folk tale. The voice cast does fine (standouts are Ustinov and Harris), even if the accents run the gamut from British to Scottish to American. The music is interesting, since it's more folk/country western, but it kinda brings across the provincial nature of the story pretty well. 

It's cute, but not really challenging in any way, and as a depiction of the Robin Hood story doesn't really do anything new or interesting. Apparently the original idea was to make a movie starring Renyard the Fox, and that would have been a challenging story. 

My Grade: B-
Rewatch Value: Low

Next up: Robin Hood: Men in Tights

Atlantis: The Second Age - Beginnings

I mentioned back here when we ended our Legends of the Elements game that we'd picked a replacement game already. We did our Spark method of chargen:

• Toasty chose Dungeons & Dragons for the kind of familiar high fantasy - magic, armor, swords.
• Amanda chose the new She-Ra cartoon show, for the idea of friends with powers fighting bad guys.
• I chose Subnautica, for its hostile but beautiful world.
• Michelle chose Rippers, for the idea of weird tech that characters can grab and incorporate.
• Megan chose Ancillary Justice, for a sci-fi setting with cultural norms and politics that matter.

So from all that, I gave them some options: Overlight, Cartoon Action Hour, Atlantis: The Second Age, The Strange, and Ninja Crusade 2nd Ed. It came down to Atlantis or Overlight (with some very strong feelings that we need to play Cartoon Action Hour at some point), and, obviously, Atlantis won out. 

We spent two sessions on chargen; character creation in Atlantis uses a lifepath system and so it's a somewhat lengthy process (which I went through for my project here). We wind up with these characters:

• Imani, a Nubian Taurean Warrior. Imani is the daughter of Imamu, a Nubian warrior chieftain. Her nation went to war with Gorgos some years back, and her family was captured. She lost her left arm escaping, and eventually managed to broker a shaky peace with Gorgos, but her family remains  political prisoners. She was forced to marry the Gorgon Queen's daughter, Amara (Amara is also married to a snake-god), but Imani herself is free, and she's trying to find a way to invade Gorgos and free her family. 
• Eithne, an Iberian Jinn Sorcerer. Eithne's family is from Iber, but was taken into slavery on Skye when she was young. She escaped slavery but wound up, through a series of mishaps, as a fighting slave in Yallock on the continent of Mu. She eventually escapes and winds up in Sheba, where she meets another Jinn and marries...only to find out, when her parents arrive, that her husband is actually her father's brother. Her husband/uncle curses her and sets off into the desert, leaving Eithne to ponder what's next.
• Akala, a Curracurrang Ulukan Emissary. Akala's family were renowned crafters and weavers, but her cousin Burrill kinda screwed that up by making shady deals. Akala traveled around extensively, and briefly met both Imani and Eithne as she did so. She wound up joining the Hawk Legion in Khemit for a time, and saw the universe in the eyes of a dying Jinn (which, it turns out, was Eithne's uncle before he married her - "dying" for a Jinn isn't always permanent). She joined a band of adventurers and explored the jungles of Awalawa, and took part in the Black Circle Conflict, before returning to the city of Acheron. 
• Thanos, a Dardan Anubim Shaman. Thanos was the child of aristocrats and studied at the Dardanus Institute, learning the Dark Arts. He spent some time as a sailor, during which time he met Imamu, Imani's father, and then ran aground on the continent of Tamoanchan and fought in the gladiator pits of Nazca, where he made an enemy of a Naga. He eventually left and headed back to Gondwana, but once there was framed by his Ophidian enemies and imprisoned as a slave for four years. He's only just now been released, and his face bears the brand of a slave. 

So in this, the year 509 Meta Kataklysmos, Imani has returned to her native Nubia from visiting her family in Gorgos. Akala is recently returned to the city of Acheron with her chronicles of her travels. Thanos has just been freed from his bondage. Eithne is lives in the city of Bersheba on the island of Bathsheba with her parents. 

Imani is out on the plains, visiting with other Taureans of her tribe as they train war elephants. She watches the young elephants play and pretend to fight, and pats the sides of their immense parents. She notices that, over the next rise, there are several columns of smoke. Not a brush fire, then, but multiple campfires. She rides over the hill and sees a small army making camp. 

She recognizes the army as belonging to Queen Nyavinghi, a mercenary leader originally of Hesperia who renounced her titles when her Nubian husband was assassinated. Imani has never met her, so she rides down into the camp to try and do so. She hears a familiar voice and sees Masamba, her friend and comrade in arms from her time as a sailor and mercenary. Masamba tells her that the Queen has been fixated on prophecy of late - apparently she had a vision while off in the jungle but couldn't interpret it. The two of them approach the Queen's tent and Nyavinghi waves them over. She asks Imani about her situation and that of her family, and then verifies that she is free to come and go as she pleases. 

The Queen tells Imani that, according to the legend, there is a place on the western coast of Joktan where the sands carry the magic of prophecy. Mixing the sand with wine can produce a vision of the future. Imani offers to retrieve some, provided that Queen Nyavinghi makes her mercenary army available to attack Gorgos at some future point. The Queen agrees, and they seal the deal by getting very drunk.

In the morning, Imani convinces Masamba to accompany her on this quest, and the two Taureans mount their horses and head out. They will travel through the mountains, then east through Nubia into Kush, and then find passage across the Red Sea into Joktan. 

Akala and Thanos are both in a restaurant in Acheron, much too fancy for Thanos. They've been invited to lunch with a representative of the Pharoah, although Thanos, just out of bondage, is interested in a meal if nothing else. The two of them are given little bowls of rose water to dip their fingers in, and after a brief discussion with the staff about whether Thanos' jackal friend is allowed to accompany him, they head back into a private room. 

Waiting for them there is an Anubim named Asari. Akala recognizes him as a mouthpiece for the Pharaoh, but not one that does business in public. More of a fixer, or even a spymaster. Akala figures that if he's involved, and the rough-looking Anubim with the impossibly sharp teeth is to be hired as well, this job might turn bloody. Akala speaks first, saying that she's game but she doesn't want to fight Ophidians - she's had enough of that in Awalawa. Asari is a little taken aback, but insists they eat first. 

After lunch, he gets to the point. King Idan of Joktan has been leaning toward military action against Turan - a nation that Khemit battles as well. The Pharaoh would like Akala, as an emissary and someone who knows the value of stealth, to go to Joktan and see what the mood is like, both politically and otherwise. Asari says that they'll receive funding, but this is less an expedition and more a quiet fact-finding mission. They both agree, and Asari gives them a bit of coin. They decide to travel overland, past the Great Canal, crossing through the Wilderness of Zin and into Turan and finally into Joktan. 

Eithne is dreaming. She dreams of a great red owl leading her south towards a sandstorm. The sandstorm whispers the names of Jinn - the true names, the ones that grant power over them. She wakes up just before dawn, confused as to the dream's meaning but not at all unclear about its importance. 

She goes down to the markets; Bersheba's markets are legendary. She purchases alchemical salts to give to her mother (who is an accomplished alchemist), and listens to the gossip of the city. She hears the usual things - Joktan is inching towards war with Turan. Pirates have been active around the island of Bathsheba, that sort of thing. But she also hears her own name mentioned. Jinn aren't common, and news of her explosive "divorce" to Nizar has spread. She decides to get out of town for a while. Travel will do her good.

Eithne returns home and speaks with her parents, Sionn and Sorcha. She tells them of her plans, and then packs her belongings and heads to the docks to secure passage. She finds a ship called the Ocean's Roar and speaks to the boatswain. The ship is heading for the coastal city of Kemul on the mainland, and Eithne says that's fine. She isn't quite sure where she's going yet, anyway. 

Four heroes set out from various parts of Gondwana, all heading for Joktan, and the Oracle Sands. Next time, we'll continue their journeys.

Movie #602: The Adventures of Robin Hood

The Adventures of Robin Hood is a 1938 adventure film starring Errol Flynn, Olivia de Havilland, Claude Rains, Basil Rathbone, Patric Knowles, Alan Hale, and Eugene Pallette. 

OK, so you probably know the story. Richard the Lion-Heart (Ian Hunter) has sodded off on a Crusade, and his no-good brother John Lackland (Rains) has seized away the Regency. Now he's taxing the everloving shit out of the Saxon peasants, and it's up to one Robin of Locksley (Flynn) to stand up for the common man! 

Robin and Prince John trade moves back and forth, while John's lackey Guy of Gisbourne (Rathbone) glowers and wants to just kill the dude already. Robin recruits John Little (Hale) and Friar Tuck (Pallette) to join his band of forest-dwelling bandits, and eventually wins over the beautiful Maid Marian (de Havilland) to his side by showing her what John's taxes and torture are doing to the citizenry. All of this culminates in a big ol' battle at the castle after Richard returns, John is deposed, Gisbourne is killed (after a truly impressive swordfight with Robin), and order is restored to England. 

I don't know if this is the most influential version of the Robin Hood story, but it's definitely up there. All of the elements of the story are there - Robin fighting Little John over a stream, the archery contest to trap Robin, Richard's return, etc. Claude Rains is unctuous and more than a little queer-coded as John, while Rathbone is majestic and predatory as Gisbourne (the Sheriff of Nottingham is here, played by Melville Cooper, but he's a secondary villain/comic relief at best). Errol Flynn is in one of his iconic swashbuckling roles, here, swinging from trees and fencing and falling down stairs. Olivia de Havilland is effectively playing Girlfriend, though she does demonstrate some actual agency when she tells Robin that she can't return to the woods with him because she's more useful as a double agent in John's court.

Like a lot of older influential movies, part of the fun is imagining what the audiences of the day must have felt watching the movie. It's shot in Technicolor, and used every Technicolor camera in existence at the time. Stunts included actually shooting people with arrows (padded clothing and balsa wood underneath, plus they were shot by a master archer). And, of course, a lot of guys in rather anachronistic green tights climbing around in trees, which is fun.

My Grade: A
Rewatch Value: Medium

Next up: Robin Hood (1973)

Movie #601: Road to Rio

Road to Rio is a musical (kinda) comedy, one of the "Road" series, starring Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Dorothy Lamour, Gale Sondergaard, George Meeker, and cameos from the Wiere Brothers and the Andrews Sisters. 

As with Road to Bali, the plot is pretty inconsequential, although I think it's a little tighter. Scat Sweeny (Crosby) and Hot Lips Barton (Hope) are, again, entertainers who are on the run from the families of women they've become involved with, and wind up on a ship to Rio. While there, they meet Lucia Maria de Andrade (Lamour) as she attempts to throw herself overboard.

(Side note: This makes a strange number of movies in which that's the meet-cute: the hero(es) preventing the heroine from leaping to her death. This, Titanic, Wolverine, what the shit?)

Anyway, it turns out Lucia is being hypnotized by her guardian, Catherine Vail (Sondergaard), which I have to admit is a cool-sounding villain name. She's going to marry Lucia off to Sherman (Meeker), all in service to obtaining "the papers", which are such a MacGuffin that there's literally not even an attempt to explain what they mean (Crosby reads them and then informs the audience that the world will never know). 

I can say much the same about Rio as I said about Bali: the gags are funny, the dialog is snappy, the music is nice (I especially like the Andrews Sisters and their song with Crosby), and the chemistry between the three leads is undeniable. The final gag, in which Lucia chooses Barton instead of Sweeny, but it turns out that's because he's hypnotizing her, is a little cringeworthy, but for a movie like this to only have one cringey moment of note is pretty good. 

My Grade: B-
Rewatch Value: Medium

Next up: The Adventures of Robin Hood

Predation: Noisy Boy's Stirring Victory

Today we started a new game - Predation! Yay dinosaurs! Meet the characters:

• Buffalo Buktu, Exiled Pteryx Who Walks with Dinosaurs: Buffalo's mother is a high-ranking SATI officer, but they no longer speak. He found Klio, his ankylosaurus companion, wandering in jungle, hurt and scared, he nursed her back to health. He also carries with him a bambiraptor named Noisy Boy, whom he rescued from a dinosaur wrestling concern.
  
• Tallahassee Rodriguez, Impulsive Tec Who Self-Evolves: She heard rumors that SATI is working to restore time travel and desperately wants to be involved. Someone gave her companion, an anzu named Kevin, as a gift, but doesn’t know who so has never been able to thank them. She was educated in Kelaino (and got Kevin at a college graduation party, but was pretty drunk).
• Omaha Highfall, Daring Osteon Who Conducts Weird Science: Omaha is highly intelligent, but not all that smart. She once provided care for an injured raptor years ago. It still remembers her, and she sees it around. Her own companion, an albertosaurus named Betty, was adopted  from a dinosaur rescue shelter. No idea what its background is. 
  
• Dakota Rushmore, Fast Karn Who Moves Like a Raptor: Grew up with a pair of velociraptors as best friends, and has loved raptors ever since. She found an egg in an abandoned nest, took it to her friend Omaha, and they were able to hatch it. It turned out to be an especially intelligent dakotaraptor, whom she named "Sebi" and trained to be a companion. 

So these fine folks live in the town of Okythoe - well, three of them do. Buffalo most wanders the world, but recently he came into town saying that he'd seen a team of SATI time travelers. Since the Last Commute, time travel hasn't worked, so pretty much everyone he told waved him off - except for Omaha, Tallahassee, and Dakota. Tallahassee, especially, wants to investigate immediately, and the others figure it's better to go as a group.

They head north from Okythoe, Tallahassee asking Buffalo a million questions about the team, what they looked like, what they were wearing, what the time portal looked like, and so on. The group arrives at the spot where Buffalo saw the team, just south of the Gridelin Wilds. They search the area and find the evidence they thought they would - five pairs of bootprints that just kind of appear out of nowhere. Tallahassee also finds a cypher in one of the prints, and sees that as evidence of a time portal. Meanwhile, Kevin digs up a huge worm and eats it, while Noisy Boy snaps up the leavings.

The prints, though, lead into the Wilds. Buffalo warns the others to be careful: the trees in the Wilds are covered in a narcotic substance. They follow the bootprints in. Tallahassee is walking alongside Kevin, Dakota is riding Sebi, and Buffalo and Omaha are riding on Klio's back (Betty is walking on her own). Klio, unfortunately, is wide enough that his shell and tail knock against the trees, kicking up clouds of dust. 

Buffalo and Dakota resist the dust's effects; Buffalo even has the presence of mind to help the dinos avoid the effects. Omaha gets a big whiff of it and feels joy and rapture, and sits back to marvel at the trees and the colors. Tallahassee, though, reacts badly to the dust. She becomes not only raptured but manic, and runs off into the forest yelling about "time friends." Kevin follows her.

They wind up in a clearing with what Tallahassee perceives a sparkly streamers everywhere. She grabs one to put in her hair, but it sticks fast. "Kevin, help, it's too sparkly!" she cries, as she sees movement from the corners of her eyes...

...Kevin, of course, recognizes this for what it is: a giant spider's nest. The spiders emerge and one tries to wrap up Tallahassee. Kevin leaps forward and pecks it, driving it back, but more spiders are coming. 

Meanwhile, the others are following Tallahassee's trail. Dakota and Sebi arrive first, and they go charging in, stomping at the spiders. Tallahassee uses her implants to make Kevin grow fearsome claws and fangs, and activates a resonance field around her to protect her. Dakota, meanwhile, jumps off of Sebi and tries to cut Tallahassee free with her sword, but this stuff is just too darned gooey. 

The others arrive and Betty tries to block Klio from charging in, but Klio banks and, with Buffalo's help, stays on target. A spider leaps out and lands on Klio's back, and winds up wrapped around Buffalo's head. Omaha smacks at it with her staff, but just winds up ringing Buffalo's bell a bit. 

Meanwhile, Kevin slays a spider, and Dakota pulls her laser gun and fires at another. Sebi slashes at one with her claws, and Tallahassee struggles to get free. She finally manages as the dinosaurs manage to kill the last of the giant spiders - Betty grabs one in her mouth and flings it away.

The threat over, the characters take a breather. Sebi notices five human carcasses strung up from trees, and Dakota cuts them down and opens the webs. It's the SATI team that Buffalo saw, each carrying a laser pistol and each with a handy cypher...but no ID, and no immediate clue as to what they're doing here. 

Next time, we'll learn more!

Movie #600: Road to Bali

Road to Bali is one of...seven, I think..."Road to" movies starring Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, and Dorothy Lamour. It's also the only one of them that's in color. 

The plot, such as it is, is the same as the other "Road" movies - two con men/musicians, George Cochran (Crosby) and Harold Gridley (Hope) are in Melbourne performing when they find they need to flee various girls they've promised to marry. They wind up taking a job as deep-sea divers for the mysterious and rather ominous Prince Ken Arok (Murvyn Vye), who is scheming to take power from his cousin, the half-Scottish Princess Lala (Lamour). Into the bargain, the boys both fall for Lala, both attempt to marry her, and she winds up choosing George while Harold frantically tries to get the movie not to end. 

I have no idea what I was expecting from these movies; I'd never seen one and my exposure to Bob Hope is pretty much limited to things involving Muppets (Bing Crosby I've seen a little more of). But this movie was actually really funny. Sure, there are some problematic elements - it's a movie made in 1952 set in Indonesia, so there's a bit of brownface going on (although I would submit it's actually less racist than, say, Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom in a lot of ways). The songs are snappy and fun, and of course all three of the leads can sing, so unlike some musicals it doesn't drag (even with dance numbers, which usually put me right to sleep). I also really enjoyed that Lala's solution to being torn between the two men is to marry them both; it doesn't end up working out for a variety of reasons, some involving a volcano, but it makes me happy that even in the 1950 somebody knew poly was a solution to this kind of problem. 

What makes the movie is the gags and dialog between Crosby, Hope, and Lamour, and it's fast enough that you miss it if you don't pay attention, which is my kind of movie ("If a cobra comes out of there, it's yours." "I'll split it with you."). The plot is wholly inconsequential and pretty nonsensical, and that's fine, that's not why we're here.

My Grade: B+
Rewatch Value: Medium-high

Next up: Road to Rio

Character Creation: Tomorrow Knights

Only a few more weeks in this absolute trash fire of a year. You know, the last several years have been pretty god-awful for me personally (some of which is purely my doing, granted, but a lot of which isn't), but 2020 has just had almost no unqualified joy. Like, Trump getting voted out is great...but he still got a frankly huge voter turnout, and he should never have been elected in the first place. We're likely to start seeing a working vaccine soon...but like, we need one, which sucks. 

Anyway, none of this remotely relates to the character I'm making and I frankly don't know what I'm on about, so fnah.

The Game: Tomorrow Knights
The Publisher: Spectrum Games
Degree of Familiarity: None, with the RPG or the source material
Books Required: Just the one

I don't think this game is for sale anymore; anyway I don't see it on Spectrum's website or on Z-Man Games (whose logo also graces the book). But that's not surprisingly; licensed games often don't hang around long. 

Well, anyway, the tone of the game seems to be somewhere between superheroes, sci-fi, mechs, and noir. PCs are mercenaries, or at least they can be? I have to say, the early bits of the book explain the world pretty clearly, but the setting doesn't seem terribly juicy to me. Maybe that's just because I haven't read the comics, I dunno. 

Anyway, I need a concepty sort of thing. One of the options (it's a Perk, actually) is to play a character recruited into the US Doppelganger Project (TELL IT TO QUEEN DOPPELPOPPELUS), and I think that's potentially a fun gimmick. Let's say my character has a really impressive memory (hopefully there's a trait I can take for that), and got brought into the USDP because he wound up committing a bunch of stuff to memory that the agency (UCC, maybe?) really didn't want to lose. Rather than have him put it all down on paper, they made him cloneable and tried to train him up as a spy so that he wouldn't die (but like, if he does, it's OK). His real name is Jerry Moore, but his nickname is "Do-Over."

So that's concept, then. Next step is to spend points on traits and perks. Let's assume 30 points. 

Traits are either easy or hard. Easy traits start at 0 and go one-for-one from there, while hard traits start at -3 if you buy them at all, and go up from there. Maximum of 5 in a trait, in any case. I can also lower easy traits to as little at -3, but I can only get 5 points back doing that. Let's see now. 

Looking ahead, the cloning thing is 8 points, so I'll buy that, first. 22 points left. Looking at traits, I'd want Athletics, maybe Driving, Finesse, Firearms, Stealth, Unarmed Combat, Investigation, Knowledge, Literacy, Numbers, Willpower, Disguise, Empathy, Etiquette...those are all easy traits (none of the hard ones seem really crucial). Taking 1 in each of this would cost 14, which would leave me 8. Seems workable so far. Any other Perks I simply must have? Not really, though Organization makes some sense, so I'll put 2 points there to show that I get some backing from UCC. 6 more, so I'll bump Knowledge to 2 (it goes down if I die and get cloned), and I'll bump Stealth, Unarmed Combat, Firearms up to 2 as well, and with the last 2 points I'll take Investigation to 3. Oh, crap, there's a Perception trait, and I just blooped right over that. That won't do. OK. I'll lower Artist, Streetwise, and Survival to -1, and take Perception 3. If I wanted to specialize Perception in Photographic Memory, I'd have it at 2/4 (meaning I have Perception 2 at anything other than Photographic Memory, but Perception 4 in that application). Sure, why not.

Next step is to add 2 to any remaining points to get my starting Seamless Points, so, uh, that's 2.

And now, hooks! These are, as the name implies, story hooks, and they can be minor, moderate, or major. They give me Seamless Points, 1, 2, 3 respectively, but I can only take 5 points total. Let's see. I would kind of like the fact that I'm a clone (I mean, I have to have died at least once) to be a hook. I'll take Nemesis - there's a Yakuza enforcer who's risen up through the ranks who killed me once before. The fact that I'm still alive caused him a major loss of face, and he really wants me dead. He's learned I'm a clone, though, so he's taking it slow, because he needs a way to kill me such that I can't come back. I'll call that Nemesis 3. 

And then because I like giving my hypothetical GM some wiggle room, I'll take Unknown at 1. Some minor issue that I don't know what is yet. 

I get Numbers + 1 x $1000, or $2000 to start. As usual, I'm skipping the shopping list. 

Otherwise, I'm pretty much done. Jerry is a pretty nondescript looking guy; brown hair, brown eyes, in shape but not ripped (you know, like a spy should be). He's always willing to factor dying into a plan, but it's a last resort, since it screws with his mind and memory. Also, dying is scary no matter who you are. Jerry works for the UCC as a data collector and field analyst; he's trained in combat but that's not his forte. He's also not a purely loyal company man - he knows the UCC does some shady shit, but he's under the impression that the good outweighs the bad. He's the sort of character who would be susceptible to being turned to a scrappy underdog resistance (which would probably screw with the whole "clone" thing, but maybe not).

That'll do it!