So we're at an archaeological dig in Eastern Europe, digging up what was probably a pagan burial site (remember: crappy horror movie, questionable history). Here are our characters!
- CJ, the Velma-esque reporter.
- Tim Bryant, the naive backpacking tourist.
- Patrick Bell, the violent mercenary.
- Dr. Annie Roberts, the snarky researcher.
- Gareth Tisdale, the local tour guide.
- Sam Brown, the World Heritage Site inspector.
- Devin Roberts, the brotastic researcher's son.
- Heidi Monroe, the backer's girlfriend.
- Mike, the site coordinator.
- Angus Whitehall, the backer.
- Sven, Shannon and Wilson, security.
- Assorted diggers.
The Killer: Rook, the pious judge.
We start off with a tracking shot through the woods and following a car, where Annie is talking on the phone. As she gets out, we realize she's talking to Angus, who is coming to the dig site tonight, rather than next week as originally planned. And he wants to see something, something that makes him feel like this dig is worth his time...and money.
Annie, distressed by this, goes to Mike in the dig site and asks him what they can show Angus to sex this up a little. Mike says that one area of the dig site is more promising than the others, but the ground isn't stable. Annie gives him the go-ahead to concentrate on this area.
Meanwhile, CJ and Sam look on, CJ taking pictures and them both wondering what's happening. Devin approaches, hung over and stumbling, and talks with them, and then all three of them see someone wandering in the woods. They inform Annie, who calls Patrick. He radios his guys, and Sven radios back that that's Shannon's area...but he hasn't been seen in hours. Annoyed, Patrick takes his jeep out and finds Tim wandering in the woods.
Patrick was trying to hike to the next town, but was woefully wrong on the distance. After Mike agrees that Tim can hang around as long as he doesn't get in the way or take pictures, Patrick and Tim are left alone. Then, we learn that Patrick is planning on stealing something from the dig site and giving it to Tim, who will then fence it later. (Dramatic chord.)
Work progresses, and the diggers uncover a stone tablet with something in Latin and a carving of a bird (lots of shots of crows in trees, probably with bad puppets for close-ups). No one can read it, though, but Annie is thrilled that this might be a find. They go digging and find that it's actually the top of a pillar, and start digging around it. But then the ground caves in, dumping Annie, Sam, Mike, Patrick, Devin, Wilson, and Sven into the ground. Tim manages to jump to the top of the pillar before falling. He shines a light down, and sees a strange figure in a tunnel. He yells, "who the Hell is that?" before CJ pops a picture with a flash, blinding everyone...after which, the figure is gone.
No one seems to be hurt (though Wilson doesn't respond, but more on that later). Tim has CJ throw him his backpack and he rappels down. They characters are in a huge catacombs, with four spokes. The pillar has names and sins all down the side (Tim can read it, for whatever reason), and at the bottom, "The Wages of Sin are Death," with that same bird picture. Wanting to explore and maybe find out where Wilson is (now they notice he's gone), they split up.
Everyone finds bodies, with little coins on their foreheads. Most of them steal at least one (Devin pockets as many as he can, as does Tim). Annie takes one for "research" purposes, but then she and Devin find Wilson's body, stuffed into a crevice with a coin on his forehead. Annie screams, but Devin covers her mouth, and then peeks under the shroud that Wilson is wrapped in - his eyes are gone. They run back down to the main room, and inform the others. Annie is freaked out, not just (or even mostly) about Wilson, but about what this means for the dig. Mike convinces her that he and Sam will go look at the body and figure out what to do.
In the spoke, Mike convinces Sam not to bother with doing the paperwork just yet, to give them time to see about the true value of these coins. But then his light goes out, and he hits the ground. Sam ducks, but then her light goes on, and a man in leathers stands next to her. "Thief," he says, and steps on her neck. Her light goes out.
The other characters climb out, and Angus' Jeep pulls up. Heidi and Gavin get out, Heidi utterly disdainful at all the dirt, but Angus is thrilled about the pillar and the big hole in the ground. He asks that Annie explain all this over dinner, but maybe Devin should take Heidi and let her freshen up?
In the trailer, Heidi and Devin are immediately all over each other (well, obviously). They fall onto the bed, failing to notice the door open. And then Rook is standing next to them, and says, "Fornication. Adultery. Lust."
Heidi claws at him, and falls away, and Rook grabs Devin's head and crushes his skull in. Heidi runs, and Rook slashes at her with a knife, but she survives (seriously, she's a tough cookie). She runs to the mess.
Meanwhile, Annie has been explaining (bullshitting) about the coins and the catacombs to Angus. He's enthralled, and not just about the idea that the coins have value. But then Heidi bursts in, wounded, screaming about Devin's eyes popping out. Patrick and Sven go out to investigate.
Sven sees the trailer door open, and goes to check it out while Patrick covers him. But then Rook appears behind Patrick: "Liar. Thief." And goes to stab him. Patrick loses, but his player spends the genre points for Sven to take the hit instead, so Sven tackles Rook and gets his neck snapped for his trouble. Patrick shoots at him, several times, but Rook doesn't seem to mind the bullets, and Patrick meets his end.
Inside the mess, the gunshots alert the others. CJ takes pictures, and Annie watches in horror as Rook goes into the trailer and comes out with Devin's body. He sets it down next to Patrick's, and the crows arrive and start eating their eyes.
Annie runs out. Tim runs out to get Patrick's gun, which he left. Annie starts running for Patrick's trailer, maybe to look for another weapon, and Rook arrives. Tim shoots, but strike Annie in the shoulder. She winds up in Patrick's trailer, barricading the windows and doors, but Rook hurls a cinderblock through the window and the birds swarm in. Annie finds a hockey mask and a goalie stick (you can spend genre points to find shit, you know) and fights the birds off, but then winds up too close to the window, and Rook yanks her out. "Thief."
CJ looks through her pictures to see if she can see where Rook went (after he goes out of shot), and she see he's gone around back. The door to the kitchen opens, and the cook's body, sans eyes, falls out. Rook walks in, but ignores CJ and Gavin (Tim's still outside) and stops at Heidi. "Fornicator," he says, and pulls a thing that looks like a melon baller out of his cloak. "Open your eyes," he says. Badness ensues. Rook leaves, looking for Tim.
Angus doesn't want to leave the bodies here, but Gavin and CJ (and now Tim, who's doubled back and escaped) want to just take his jeep and go. Tim figures the keys are in it, so the three of them run for it. The keys, however, are not in it, and Gavin and Tim argue, but CJ hotwires it, and away they jolly well go!
Meanwhile, Angus lays Heidi's body out, and places the coin Annie gave him on her forehead, thinking that will take her soul on. Rook reappears, and informs him that she must be laid to rest. Shot of Rook carrying bodies on his shoulders, while Angus follows with Heidi, and then cut to them walking down the spoke in the cavern (because how did they get down there? Who cares?). They lay the bodies in the niches, and then Rook informs Angus, "Now you must be judged."
Angus acquiesces, and kneels. "Open your eyes," says Rook.
Up top, the Jeep in the woods! But then up ahead, Rook stands in the forest. CJ hits him with the Jeep, but he smashes his fist through the windshield at Tim, riding shotgun. "I want only the sinner!" he says.
CJ considers this, but won't give him up. She whips the wheel, trying to shake Rook loose, but fails. Tim tries to climb into the back seat, but Rook grabs his shirt. Gavin tries to pull Tim, but Tim grabs him and holds tight, and all three of them fly out of the car. Gavin's head is crushed against a tree, and Rook starts for Tim again.
CJ spins the car and rams Rook, and Tim clambers into the car, yelling "GO!" They drive away into the ways, leaving Rook behind.
Shot of him walking back toward the cavern, then in the cavern, pulling out a chisel, and carving the names of the dead characters and their sins into the pillar, as credits roll, and this song plays.